Subject: lost post

Posted on: June 28 2004 @ 10:11 PM
By: IceJohn

Content:

I want to add to it Question PLEASE DELETE LOST POST



Replies:

lost post

Posted on: June 28 2004 @ 10:41 PM
By: Rooster

Content:

So whats the question? If you know the name of the post, do a search for it.



Rooster


lost post

Posted on: June 28 2004 @ 10:45 PM
By: IceJohn

Content:

I found it I foregot to start a new post.Put it under catfishing.Had a brain fart sorry . Oops! Oops!


lost post

Posted on: June 29 2004 @ 07:05 AM
By: dtniday

Content:

so this is a pointless post so we should see how long it can go on then Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: June 29 2004 @ 07:29 AM
By: Ron

Content:

If its pointless, I'll contribute.


lost post

Posted on: June 29 2004 @ 07:38 AM
By: DuckMan

Content:

Sounds good to me. Laughing Out Loud


lost post

Posted on: June 29 2004 @ 07:58 AM
By: depo8th

Content:

me too


lost post

Posted on: June 29 2004 @ 08:29 AM
By: bigjake

Content:



I completely agree. I couldn't be in agreement anymore than I am right now. This is the most agreeable I have been in weeks. Good post!



Bob


lost post

Posted on: June 29 2004 @ 08:36 AM
By: jimandemma

Content:

I agree 100%. I belive that this is the first time that all of us agreed on anything.



jim and emma


lost post

Posted on: June 29 2004 @ 08:51 AM
By: rugerpup

Content:

I agree that I agree.. but will we all still agree if I bring up those two bad words.... Did some one say mountain..........hey look a lion........





Twisted Evil Twisted Evil Twisted Evil Twisted Evil Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: June 29 2004 @ 09:34 AM
By: mud dragon

Content:

I cougar, I mean concur and I ain't lion. I agree.


lost post

Posted on: June 29 2004 @ 10:08 AM
By: Ben Nicholson

Content:

I can't believe you guys are agreeing with this nonsense! Razz I better go put my blaze organge on. Oh, and do smallmouth work well for flatheads? LOL


lost post

Posted on: June 29 2004 @ 10:09 AM
By: river

Content:

oooooooo.... kind of a toothy subject. Wait, thats not pointless... hmmm Cool

River


lost post

Posted on: June 29 2004 @ 10:11 AM
By: kenhump

Content:

I'd like to get Moonfish's opinion on this.


lost post

Posted on: June 29 2004 @ 10:28 AM
By: Joe

Content:

I agree on the brain fart theory but not sure if I agree or disagree on leading a blaze orange mountain lion, or trolling smallmouth for flatheads? Mr. Green Mr. Green Mr. Green Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: June 29 2004 @ 10:57 AM
By: mud dragon

Content:

keeps going, an going, an going, an going, it's the energizer cougar muskie


lost post

Posted on: June 29 2004 @ 10:59 AM
By: Great White

Content:

If a Cougar eats a Musky in the woods--does the Bear still have to wipe?





--Bigfoot Whitey


lost post

Posted on: June 29 2004 @ 11:27 AM
By: nater3

Content:

It depends completely upon what the Musky has been eating!

Nate


lost post

Posted on: June 29 2004 @ 11:47 AM
By: rugerpup

Content:

or if the bear sees a bigfoot while it is squating


lost post

Posted on: June 29 2004 @ 12:14 PM
By: bigjake

Content:



Oh, this has taken an ugly turn. I cannot agree with this thread anymore. I am not in agreement with what I am reading. I couldn't disagree more. I am totally on the other side of this issue now. I haven't been this disagreeable in days. Sorry, but I can longer go along with you on this one.



Bob


lost post

Posted on: June 29 2004 @ 12:18 PM
By: Bucktail

Content:

I like pork chops.


lost post

Posted on: June 29 2004 @ 12:19 PM
By: Rooster

Content:

I agree that we should not agree on this agreement anymore. If I agree to this am I doing so simply to be agreeable or do I truly argee. Does anyne agree with my thoughts about this agreement?



Rooster


lost post

Posted on: June 29 2004 @ 12:24 PM
By: rugerpup

Content:

okay- it took some convincing, but I'll agree. I usually dont agree this easily, but the power of peer pressure has pushed me over the fence...All in favor.....say..........agreed


lost post

Posted on: June 29 2004 @ 12:25 PM
By: mud dragon

Content:

I cannot agree with your decision to disagree. Must be a lot of bored people out there. Wait, I resembol that remark. I'm not bored, I've got lots to do. Really.


lost post

Posted on: June 29 2004 @ 12:32 PM
By: Bucktail

Content:

I like horseradish sauce.


lost post

Posted on: June 29 2004 @ 12:33 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

I'm a BBQ sauce man myself


lost post

Posted on: June 29 2004 @ 12:55 PM
By: rugerpup

Content:

cant you guys see we are agreeing and disagreeing about agreeing and disagreeing??I thought we all agreed this post was useless and pointless and I am afraid that buck and dtniday have broken the rules, cause both of their post have points.....You will now be forever labled as men of merrit, with pointfull things to say about different stuff.... I think.....


lost post

Posted on: June 29 2004 @ 01:06 PM
By: mud dragon

Content:

Hot sauce. Got to be hot sauce.


lost post

Posted on: June 29 2004 @ 01:20 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

I make my own BBq with a hint of cheyanne pepper


lost post

Posted on: June 29 2004 @ 01:29 PM
By: ISU Fisherman

Content:

Please take caution when reading this post. It has been known to eat sublegal bass, but only when the post has blaze orange on. ( while running).


lost post

Posted on: June 29 2004 @ 01:36 PM
By: bigjake

Content:



I'm going out on a limb here, but I need to say I agree with liking horseradish. I like it on my prime rib. Let me caution you though. Horseradish on anything other than prime rib will have to be okayed by my nutritionist.



Agreed. Maybe.



Bob


lost post

Posted on: June 29 2004 @ 01:44 PM
By: DuckMan

Content:

Why is it called a pair of underwear or a pair of pants when there is only one Question Question


lost post

Posted on: June 29 2004 @ 01:45 PM
By: jd

Content:

Intense argument but I'm going to have to agree with the agreeable people on everything I agree with... and I like KC MasterPiece Barbecue Sauce, distributed secretly thoughout Iowa by the DNR, in blaze orange when taken in a fair and legal manner with a running cap shot... about 3" lead at 100 yards... it's pretty thick sauce.


lost post

Posted on: June 29 2004 @ 01:47 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Pusillanimous ponderings, at best. Where's the beef. Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: June 29 2004 @ 01:49 PM
By: Great White

Content:

If Bob agrees then I cannot. There is no way I could agree with Bob and not cause worry or concern throughout the land.



On another note--if teachers are so damn smart--why are they always asking questions?







--BIgfoot Whitey


lost post

Posted on: June 29 2004 @ 01:56 PM
By: basebklyn7

Content:

i was just at the general store, but i couldnt find anything specifically perhaps because the guy was locking it up when i got there... i said why you locking up, it says open 24 hours, he says... ya.. but not in a row.... gotta love stephen wright


lost post

Posted on: June 29 2004 @ 02:23 PM
By: Great White

Content:

I poured Spot remover on my dog yesterday--now he's gone. S. Wright





--Bigfoot Whitey


lost post

Posted on: June 29 2004 @ 02:30 PM
By: mud dragon

Content:

I like to dip jalapenos in Tabasco sauce.


lost post

Posted on: June 29 2004 @ 02:39 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

I have heartburn just reading about it.


lost post

Posted on: June 29 2004 @ 02:49 PM
By: Bucktail

Content:

I like biscuits and gravy for breakfast, with or without blaze orange and/or smallmouth flathead.


lost post

Posted on: June 29 2004 @ 02:52 PM
By: jimandemma

Content:

I for one will, absolutely, positively, 100% agree to disagree. I think. Or not.


lost post

Posted on: June 29 2004 @ 03:00 PM
By: rugerpup

Content:

things to ponder....



Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds" fee on money they already know you don't have?



Why do hot dogs come 10 to a package and hot dog buns only 8?



If you roll Duck tape the sticky side on the none sticky side, why aren't both sides sticky?


lost post

Posted on: June 29 2004 @ 03:08 PM
By: mud dragon

Content:

I refuse to keep this thread alive by posting meaningless messages to it.


lost post

Posted on: June 29 2004 @ 03:09 PM
By: mud dragon

Content:

Maybe.


lost post

Posted on: June 29 2004 @ 03:14 PM
By: bigjake

Content:



I cannot agree with those of you who are being too specific. I would rather you be vague. That way there is a better chance what you have to say will be meaningless. I can't be anymore unclear about this.



Bob


lost post

Posted on: June 29 2004 @ 03:23 PM
By: basebklyn7

Content:

im nebulous as to what your talking about.


lost post

Posted on: June 29 2004 @ 03:28 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

HUH Confused


lost post

Posted on: June 29 2004 @ 03:39 PM
By: Ben Nicholson

Content:

Can't we all just get along?


lost post

Posted on: June 29 2004 @ 04:12 PM
By: Bucktail

Content:

If a tree falls in the forest, and a bear s**ts in the woods, what are the chances of the tree falling on the bear?


lost post

Posted on: June 29 2004 @ 04:32 PM
By: Great White

Content:

I find it disconcerting that you people have nothing better to do with your time but post on this thread!





--Bigfoot Whitey


lost post

Posted on: June 29 2004 @ 04:36 PM
By: rugerpup

Content:

a post is a post is a post is a post is a........


lost post

Posted on: June 29 2004 @ 04:55 PM
By: manho

Content:

I totally disagree you guys are way off base. Do your research before you coment . . . .



Wink Question Laughing Out Loud


lost post

Posted on: June 29 2004 @ 04:57 PM
By: manho

Content:

Ok I changed my mind, it really makes sense, ya know, what Whitey said . . . .i think .. . .


lost post

Posted on: June 29 2004 @ 05:08 PM
By: Joe

Content:

Today is daytime and it will perhaps be followed by darkness, which will be followed by daytime, then darkness, then............... Why?


lost post

Posted on: June 29 2004 @ 05:10 PM
By: Joe

Content:

i agree this is pointless but don't agree with anyone on anything else! Twisted Evil


lost post

Posted on: June 29 2004 @ 05:26 PM
By: birdhunter88

Content:



question mark





A punctuation mark (?) that follows a direct question:


lost post

Posted on: June 29 2004 @ 06:20 PM
By: manho

Content:

can we break 100 posts ? I broke 100 clay birds. Dropped the whole box . . . . .


lost post

Posted on: June 29 2004 @ 06:32 PM
By: logger

Content:

This post was lost but now it's found

if it weren't for cougars it would have drowned

I wish this post would go away!!!

Now, wait I wish this post would stay!!!

When I think this post is about to end...

Someone types and it starts again.

I wish someone would make this stop

Perhaps we need an internet cop.

By now you know my rhymes are rusty

how far do you lead a blaze orange MUSKY???

Ineed to know how to put a hitch on my Mazda

and how many cougars there are in kozta??

These are the true answers that I need

my time is limited I've got yetties to feed

Well now it's time to hit the floor

It's my turn to mop `later IOWA OUTDOORS

Wife says I spend to much time here


lost post

Posted on: June 29 2004 @ 07:10 PM
By: mahaskaboy

Content:

I just sold my car and the guy that bought it had a tree fall on it two days later. Is that what we're talking about???


lost post

Posted on: June 29 2004 @ 07:51 PM
By: logger

Content:

2000 dollar deductable?


lost post

Posted on: June 29 2004 @ 08:29 PM
By: d00buck

Content:

Did you hear about the guy who ate a tube of Preperation H? All he had to say about it was M_MMM_MMM_MM__M. Wait, I disagree with that. What he HE@@ is going on here?!


lost post

Posted on: June 29 2004 @ 08:38 PM
By: birdhunter88

Content:


lost post

Posted on: June 29 2004 @ 09:00 PM
By: Rooster

Content:

I think my head hurts just thinking about this thread. Or does it? I think I will think about thinking about this thread and get back to you.


lost post

Posted on: June 29 2004 @ 09:29 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Verbal crabgrass, can't kill it and it won't die. Where's Moonfish with an opinion of the true meaning of this? Question


lost post

Posted on: June 29 2004 @ 09:30 PM
By: IceJohn

Content:

Thanks everyone makes me feel good.That no big cats can find me now,but them catfish scare me. Oops! Oops!


lost post

Posted on: June 29 2004 @ 09:35 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

can we hit 100 wait I forgot am I agreeing or disagreeing now Wink


lost post

Posted on: June 29 2004 @ 09:58 PM
By: horst

Content:

spent 10 minutes reading this, trolling for mountain lions with smallmouths is like putting horseradish on flatheads, it makes no sense but since thats the object Ill agree with it


lost post

Posted on: June 29 2004 @ 10:00 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Where's the doc, this is giving me a cerebral hemorrhoid. Frown


lost post

Posted on: June 29 2004 @ 10:19 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

A man comes home from work and is greeted by his wife dressed in a sexy little nightie. "Tie me up," she purrs, "and you can do anything you want."

So he ties her up and goes trolling for muskies.


lost post

Posted on: June 29 2004 @ 10:30 PM
By: MyDogCarl

Content:

I just saved mega $$$ on my car insurance!!


lost post

Posted on: June 29 2004 @ 10:43 PM
By: bigjake

Content:



Is this not what I am here for?



Bob


lost post

Posted on: June 29 2004 @ 11:09 PM
By: Great White

Content:

The only thing sadder than reading this thread is posting in it! You could have solved the world's problems if you were not chasing blaze orange musky and leading running deer!



--Bigfoot Whitey (or am I)


lost post

Posted on: June 29 2004 @ 11:13 PM
By: bgoodn

Content:

Okay, what the heck does pusillanimous mean.

Oh yea, I'm still trying to forget that comment about Whiteys lilly white arse from the other post, I havn't even met him yet but from what I've heard about him it was a discusting visual thought.


lost post

Posted on: June 29 2004 @ 11:52 PM
By: Rooster

Content:

Can't you tell from Whiteys Picture what his lilly white a$$ looks like? I believe that is a nude photo but the picture came out blurry because the lense broke.



Rooster



I think therefore I am. I think.



How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck read this thread?


lost post

Posted on: June 30 2004 @ 12:05 AM
By: basebklyn7

Content:

this is the song that never ends, it just goes on and on my friends, somebody started singing it not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because...

..this is the song that never ends, it just goes on and on my friends

(banging head on wall repeatedly)


lost post

Posted on: June 30 2004 @ 12:47 AM
By: Rooster

Content:

We are people of many words, very few of them insightful.


lost post

Posted on: June 30 2004 @ 01:09 AM
By: Driftless

Content:

This post has the potential to be a successful sitcom...."a post about nothing"...but really "a post about everything".


lost post

Posted on: June 30 2004 @ 01:41 AM
By: nater3

Content:

ahhh, but isn't everything really something in itself? Did somebody say prime rib.

Nate


lost post

Posted on: June 30 2004 @ 07:00 AM
By: Great White

Content:

Hey--Bgoodn--if you are gonna make fun of a guy at least spell it right--it's disgusting. Thanks







--Bigfoot Whitey




lost post

Posted on: June 30 2004 @ 08:09 AM
By: Bucktail

Content:

I just wanna play football.


lost post

Posted on: June 30 2004 @ 08:41 AM
By: mud dragon

Content:

lost post???? Wasn't that an old war movie?


lost post

Posted on: June 30 2004 @ 08:45 AM
By: rugerpup

Content:

My wife was sweeping the floor this morning before work, I asked if she had a new mood of transportation....


lost post

Posted on: June 30 2004 @ 08:47 AM
By: Great White

Content:

Jello wiggles.







--Bigfoot Whitey


lost post

Posted on: June 30 2004 @ 09:23 AM
By: kenhump

Content:

Pusillanimous: lacking in courage and manly strength and resolution; contemptibly fearful.

As in: He is a pusillanimous polecat.


lost post

Posted on: June 30 2004 @ 09:38 AM
By: jimandemma

Content:

I for one refuse to continue to post on this thread. I agree, or not.



Jim and Emma


lost post

Posted on: June 30 2004 @ 10:00 AM
By: Rooster

Content:

Why do people continue to post on this thread? Just let it die. Oh crap I did it again!



Rooster


lost post

Posted on: June 30 2004 @ 10:32 AM
By: river

Content:

I'm never wrong. Thought I was once, but I was mistaken.


lost post

Posted on: June 30 2004 @ 11:59 AM
By: Rooster

Content:

Finally, this thread is going to die. Thank God no one is stupid enough to post on it again and keep it going.



Rooster


lost post

Posted on: June 30 2004 @ 12:00 PM
By: colbyjack

Content:

i need some boiled peanuts from a roadside stand or flea market. we are in iowa right?



i seen a penguin eat a baby musky, at the zoo. (they looked like musky)



38 special bird shot kills chipmunks better than my target rifle.



im bored at work, my stolen uhaul is in chicago now.

-chris


lost post

Posted on: June 30 2004 @ 12:08 PM
By: Bucktail

Content:

Poison Ivy tastes like burning.


lost post

Posted on: June 30 2004 @ 12:18 PM
By: nocsious

Content:

This thread has made me soil my pantaloons. Rolling Eyes


lost post

Posted on: June 30 2004 @ 12:49 PM
By: Rooster

Content:

Colbyjack,

Your uhaul is not in Chicago. I know this because I stole it. I used it to transport cougars from arizona to Iowa for the IADNR. I will return your truck within the week.



Rooster


lost post

Posted on: June 30 2004 @ 12:53 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Need a pool to see who gets 100!!!

Getting 101 now will suck, Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: June 30 2004 @ 01:04 PM
By: Rooster

Content:

A construction worker came home just in time to find his wife in bed with another man. So he dragged the man down the stairs to the garage and put his penis in a vise. He secured it tightly and removed the handle. Then he picked up a hacksaw.



The man was terrified and screamed, "STOP! STOP! You're not going to cut it off, are you?"



The husband said, with a gleam of revenge in his eye, "Nope. You are. I'm going to set the garage on fire."




lost post

Posted on: June 30 2004 @ 01:08 PM
By: IceJohn

Content:

keep them cards and letters soon to be a cheap book for wifes to read .So us guys can have BRAIN FARTS Evil


lost post

Posted on: June 30 2004 @ 01:13 PM
By: Larry Richard

Content:

ok, I let 92 posts go by before I bit on this one. Can I go back now and undo my opening of the thread? How far do you lead a running lost thread? We gotta get a collective life! Oh, by the by, take the horseradish and jalapeno dips and the hemorrhois will go away. doc


lost post

Posted on: June 30 2004 @ 01:13 PM
By: Hazmat

Content:

...I can't believe this thing keeps going...and I've read it ALL...aww sh**....


lost post

Posted on: June 30 2004 @ 01:20 PM
By: mud dragon

Content:

A guy stopped a red light notices two men beside the road. One guy digs a hole the other guy pours a bucket of water in the hole. The first guy puts the dirt back in the hole. They move down the road and repeat the hole digging, water pouring, hole filling. The light turns green the guy in the car pulls up to the guys working beside the road and asks them what they are doing. The say that they work for the city and they're planting trees. The guy that puts the baby trees in the holes was home sick that day.


lost post

Posted on: June 30 2004 @ 01:21 PM
By: bigjake

Content:



Has anyone seen my hemorrhoids? Sorry, now I am getting specific.



Bob


lost post

Posted on: June 30 2004 @ 01:22 PM
By: Larry Richard

Content:

Me thinks it is malignant. It has a life of its own, out of control, with no visible purpose other than the parasitic control of our idle minds. That's 97, who's next. I gotta accomplish something useful on my day off, so I'm going fishing. doc


lost post

Posted on: June 30 2004 @ 01:24 PM
By: bigjake

Content:



I'm going fishing today too. Oops, sorry. I seem to be getting more and more specific. I apologize. It must be the parasite.



Bob


lost post

Posted on: June 30 2004 @ 01:24 PM
By: mud dragon

Content:

will this be the 100th


lost post

Posted on: June 30 2004 @ 01:27 PM
By: Rooster

Content:

And the pool goes to...Big jake. Maybe he can use the money to treat them hemorrhoids.



Rooster


lost post

Posted on: June 30 2004 @ 01:37 PM
By: bigjake

Content:



I win, I win, I win!



Bob


lost post

Posted on: June 30 2004 @ 01:40 PM
By: jimandemma

Content:

I refuse to post on this thread because I was not the 100th person.


lost post

Posted on: June 30 2004 @ 01:49 PM
By: timbuck2

Content:

I just want to say that sometimes I agree with the agree-ers, but sometimes I disagree with them. Other times I agree with the disagree-ers but other times disagree with them. So now what?

Anyway, I didn't know if I should lead a running deer or run a leading deer. In either case I will wear blaze orange and a big ten gallon hat too.



Tim


lost post

Posted on: June 30 2004 @ 02:24 PM
By: rugerpup

Content:

bling bling says the little man.........


lost post

Posted on: June 30 2004 @ 02:42 PM
By: jmenk421

Content:

Hey guys, what's going on in here?


lost post

Posted on: June 30 2004 @ 02:56 PM
By: basebklyn7

Content:


lost post

Posted on: June 30 2004 @ 02:58 PM
By: jimandemma

Content:

I am only replying to let all of you know that this is my 13th post. I'm not sure if I agree or not. It would have to depend.


lost post

Posted on: June 30 2004 @ 03:27 PM
By: bait

Content:

My computor has been down for a week. Now it is fixed and the first post I open is this. Eek!


lost post

Posted on: June 30 2004 @ 03:37 PM
By: iowafarm_girl

Content:

I think you broke your computer looking at all that porn instead of working. Evil Laughing Out Loud


lost post

Posted on: June 30 2004 @ 03:38 PM
By: spencer52356

Content:

NOTICE!

If you notice this notice

you will notice this notice is not worth noticing!%@!#&*# Laughing Out Loud


lost post

Posted on: June 30 2004 @ 03:58 PM
By: Rooster

Content:

I know what this post is about and yet I continue to check it. I am like a deer in the headlights, I just don't know when to move on.



Rooster


lost post

Posted on: June 30 2004 @ 04:14 PM
By: rugerpup

Content:

these pretzels are making me thristy!!


lost post

Posted on: June 30 2004 @ 04:17 PM
By: Ben Nicholson

Content:

SERENITY NOW!!!!


lost post

Posted on: June 30 2004 @ 04:17 PM
By: Great White

Content:

I like porn!





Or is that corn?





I forget--I think







--Bigfoot Whitey


lost post

Posted on: June 30 2004 @ 04:21 PM
By: jmenk421

Content:

Ben - you just made pop shoot out my nose! Mr. Green



must...get...second...star...


lost post

Posted on: June 30 2004 @ 04:24 PM
By: maxx

Content:

Football Football, who said Football?


lost post

Posted on: June 30 2004 @ 04:32 PM
By: jmenk421

Content:

Wi n


lost post

Posted on: June 30 2004 @ 04:34 PM
By: Ben Nicholson

Content:

HOOCHIE MAMA!!!


lost post

Posted on: June 30 2004 @ 04:40 PM
By: rugerpup

Content:

"It's not you, it's me.... You're giving me the 'It's not you, it's me' routine? I invented 'It's not you, it's me.' Nobody tells me it's them, not me. If it's anybody, it's me."


lost post

Posted on: June 30 2004 @ 05:21 PM
By: Rippa

Content:

Question If it is brown and sound like a bell, is it not Dung? Is that ringing I hear in this thread? If a bear eats your ex in the woods, and no one is there to hear her scream, could it not of been a Musky wearing Blase orange, hunting a Yeti with horseradish breath by leading him on with a statement which he would never agree not to agree with because he decided not to make a choice which in fact was the choice to hunt rubber ducks wearing panty hose while screaming at the horse to lead the deer that is shopping for fishing equipment at Cabelas where OJ admits that he can never confirm or denie that Bill Clinton resembles Mr Bobbit when he rides on his horse that goes by the name of Mr. Edit?



Afterall, am I not just a confused pawn prone to stay neutral? Cool Rippa <,"}/>{


lost post

Posted on: June 30 2004 @ 05:55 PM
By: IceJohn

Content:

I was lost not found


lost post

Posted on: June 30 2004 @ 05:55 PM
By: IceJohn

Content:

let it be me


Posted on: June 30 2004 @ 05:57 PM
By: IceJohn

Content:

almost there


lost post

Posted on: June 30 2004 @ 05:57 PM
By: IceJohn

Content:

one more


lost post

Posted on: June 30 2004 @ 05:58 PM
By: Great White

Content:

I LIKE TATER TOTS!


lost post

Posted on: June 30 2004 @ 06:00 PM
By: IceJohn

Content:

iWIN THANKS everyone never had a 100 post be for ah so much love fish on till you drop Cool Cool Cool


lost post

Posted on: June 30 2004 @ 06:54 PM
By: depo8th

Content:

Ole lived across River from Clarence who he didn't like at all. They all

the time were yelling across the river at each other.



Ole would yell to Clarence, "If I had a vay to cross dis river, I'd come

over dere an beat you up good, yeah sure ya betcha by golly!"



This went on for years. Finally the state built a bridge across the

river right there by their houses.



Ole's wife, Lena, says, "Now is you chance, Ole, vhy don't you go over

dere and beat up dat Clarence like you said you vould?"



Ole says, "OK, by yimmy I tink I vill do yust dat".



Ole started for the bridge but he sees a sign on the bridge an he stops

to read it, then he turns around and comes back home.



Lena asked, "vhy did you come back?" Ole said, "Lena, I tink I change my

mind 'bout beatin' up dat Clarence, you know, dey put a sign on da

bridge dat says "Clarence is 13 ft. 6 in." You know, he don't look near

dat big vhen I yell at him from across da river"




lost post

Posted on: June 30 2004 @ 07:02 PM
By: dougd

Content:

I will be right back I forgot to read 2, 3, and 4


lost post

Posted on: June 30 2004 @ 07:52 PM
By: colbyjack

Content:

Do baby musky taste like chicken??



someone told me fish sticks are made from baby musky.....lol



rooster i knew it was you, mountain lion hauling to iowa. mmmmm how many cougars did you let go in the des moines area?



a pic i took at the last iowa game i went to.



its kinda deep




lost post

Posted on: June 30 2004 @ 08:10 PM
By: Greg Holz

Content:

Twenty dwarves took turns doing handstands on the carpet. Twenty dwarves took turns doing handstands on the carpet. Twenty dwarves took turns doing handstands on the carpet. Twenty dwarves took turns doing handstands on the carpet. twenty dwarves, twenty dwarves.........


lost post

Posted on: June 30 2004 @ 09:03 PM
By: Outdooraddict

Content:

im gonna get me some of them fried taters and mustard mmmmmmm.


lost post

Posted on: June 30 2004 @ 10:13 PM
By: GSMITH

Content:

Maybe this is a good place to post the following:

Brain Cramps



Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?

Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,"

--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.



``````````````````````````````````

"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff." --Mariah Carey



````````````

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life," --Brooke Shields, during an interview to become Spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign.

`````````````````````````````````````````````````

"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body," --Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.

`````````````````````````````````````````````



"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in

the country," --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.

`````````````````````````````



"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president." --Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents.

````````````````````````````````````````````````````



"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it," --A congressional candidate in Texas.

````````````````````````````



"Half this game is ninety percent mental." --Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark

``````````````````````````````````



"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it." --Al Gore, Vice President (DUH)

```````````````````

"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix." --Dan Quayle

``````````



"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"--Lee Iacocca

```````````

"The word 'genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like

Norman Einstein." --Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback &sports analyst.

````````````````````````````````````````````

"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people."

--Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instrutor.

`````````````````````````````````

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." --Bill Clinton, President

``````````````````

"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur."

--Al Gore, VP (damn he's smart)

````````````````

"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."

--Keppel Enderbery

``````````````````````

"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."

--Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina

````````````````````````````````````````````

"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they

go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the

next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record." --Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman




lost post

Posted on: June 30 2004 @ 10:46 PM
By: banjo50

Content:

Bigfoot lives.


lost post

Posted on: June 30 2004 @ 11:05 PM
By: Larry Richard

Content:

A dose of Thorazine for anyone crazy enough to continue this entertaining nonsense. doc


lost post

Posted on: June 30 2004 @ 11:22 PM
By: Rooster

Content:

This is just sad. I continue to check the thread, though I know what is coming. I hope no brand new members check this and think that this is what we do all of the time. OR do I?Hmmm>





Rooster (Or am I)


lost post

Posted on: July 01 2004 @ 12:01 AM
By: Great White

Content:

If only I had cable







--Bigfoot Whitey


lost post

Posted on: July 01 2004 @ 12:04 AM
By: kenhump

Content:

This is about 140. Twisted Evil


lost post

Posted on: July 01 2004 @ 12:50 AM
By: Rooster

Content:

I think that this thread proves there are no intellectual giants on this site.



Rooster(Da Freak)


lost post

Posted on: July 01 2004 @ 07:43 AM
By: dtniday

Content:

I agree, 200 is where we need to be


lost post

Posted on: July 01 2004 @ 08:00 AM
By: Great White

Content:

I think I'll go fishing--or not.





--Bigfoot Whitey


lost post

Posted on: July 01 2004 @ 08:24 AM
By: jmenk421

Content:

Let's see ...



A


lost post

Posted on: July 01 2004 @ 09:11 AM
By: mud dragon

Content:

nothing attracts people like nonsense


lost post

Posted on: July 01 2004 @ 09:28 AM
By: jmenk421

Content:

and free beer and food!


lost post

Posted on: July 01 2004 @ 09:39 AM
By: Joe

Content:

Remove the jumper cables this thing is running on it's own. Or zap it again maybe we can kill it. Somebody get a pillow. >140 random acts of BS. Rolling Eyes


lost post

Posted on: July 01 2004 @ 10:02 AM
By: colbyjack

Content:

Joe you must use the same car wash as me. its the best around.



air freshner=(minnow scent) or (turkey river water)



-chris


lost post

Posted on: July 01 2004 @ 10:09 AM
By: rugerpup

Content:

I wanted to talk about how we have nothing to talk about.





or do I???????


lost post

Posted on: July 01 2004 @ 10:13 AM
By: Bucktail

Content:

sdfhajh askdfjao vnvnfaueaow? Or.....dvn;ew jfie wieei iaa'lv vrs? jfaoi!!!???!! Evil


lost post

Posted on: July 01 2004 @ 10:20 AM
By: rugerpup

Content:

how can they be the president of beers when they are owned by another country???



BRING BACK THE DONKEY


lost post

Posted on: July 01 2004 @ 10:31 AM
By: river

Content:

ooops... wrong thread.


lost post

Posted on: July 01 2004 @ 12:20 PM
By: timbuck2

Content:

over 3/4 the way to 200. This should be 152.



Hey jmenk421:



B


lost post

Posted on: July 01 2004 @ 12:24 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

Can we can we top the biggest post Question

what did I jsut say Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: July 01 2004 @ 12:26 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Freddy Kruger, eat your heart out. Twisted Evil


lost post

Posted on: July 01 2004 @ 12:51 PM
By: Joe

Content:

Are we through, yeti? Neutral Arrow Arrow Arrow Arrow Arrow Arrow Arrow Arrow Arrow Arrow Rolling Eyes Rolling Eyes


lost post

Posted on: July 01 2004 @ 12:59 PM
By: KevinK

Content:


lost post

Posted on: July 01 2004 @ 01:01 PM
By: KevinK

Content:

I think my previous post set the record for contributing the least amount of information to a topic. I shall now visit the mensroom to release the remaining BS I am retaining.....


lost post

Posted on: July 01 2004 @ 01:02 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Well thought out post kevin. Makes sense to me. Exclaimation


lost post

Posted on: July 01 2004 @ 01:22 PM
By: colbyjack

Content:

i ate chilli for breakfast and taco bell for lunch, i bet my fellow office workers are enjoying me. lol


lost post

Posted on: July 01 2004 @ 01:26 PM
By: rugerpup

Content:

that type of combination will root your butt from the inside out....



Had that happen to an uncle


lost post

Posted on: July 01 2004 @ 02:13 PM
By: jmenk421

Content:

I've got to stay away from saurkraut and onion rings in the same meal. I actually killed a pet fish one night after a meal of those two items.



Hey, I've just given myself an idea!!!! Laughing Out Loud Laughing Out Loud Laughing Out Loud


lost post

Posted on: July 01 2004 @ 02:34 PM
By: Ben Nicholson

Content:

Yada...yada...yada.


lost post

Posted on: July 01 2004 @ 02:45 PM
By: Great White

Content:

Bob's ass sucks buttermilk.





--Bigfoot Whitey


lost post

Posted on: July 01 2004 @ 02:49 PM
By: mud dragon

Content:

What is the most number of posts to a thread on this site? Anybody?




lost post

Posted on: July 01 2004 @ 02:57 PM
By: rugerpup

Content:

Mmmmmm.... giddyup


lost post

Posted on: July 01 2004 @ 02:57 PM
By: d00buck

Content:

I'd search for 'Leading a running deer', or any of the mountain lion threads! Gotta be one of them! 'Course the Blaze Orange got up there too!

I apologize for the useful info...!


lost post

Posted on: July 01 2004 @ 03:03 PM
By: rugerpup

Content:

I agree with dale, wait... no I dont... wait.... yes I .....





what were we talking about


lost post

Posted on: July 01 2004 @ 03:20 PM
By: eye_fly

Content:

I have not read this thread, and thus having nothing of value to add.....



that is all....thank you....


lost post

Posted on: July 01 2004 @ 03:21 PM
By: jmenk421

Content:

Perhaps we can quote the works of William Shakespeare for a bit...


lost post

Posted on: July 01 2004 @ 03:25 PM
By: DuckMan

Content:

get er done


lost post

Posted on: July 01 2004 @ 04:10 PM
By: Joe

Content:

Who asked about the most posts on a thread. Dang it you just gave this whole thing a reason for being. This post now has a point to make. Eek! Eek!


lost post

Posted on: July 01 2004 @ 04:14 PM
By: d00buck

Content:

It was him Arrow ,or him Arrow , or was it her Arrow Question Exclaimation


lost post

Posted on: July 01 2004 @ 06:00 PM
By: Great White

Content:

If the sky is blue and the grass is green--does Moscow have purple carpet?





--Bigfoot Whitey


lost post

Posted on: July 01 2004 @ 06:38 PM
By: river

Content:

Yep.... I remember him well. Good old Bill Shakespear. He said to me once, and I quote; "Tho doest plrootasss to mmhummch." No teeth and a peanut butter samich stuck in his mouth. Never could unnerstan thath ol summmbith.


lost post

Posted on: July 01 2004 @ 06:58 PM
By: manho

Content:

almost 200 to this, is it because . . . . . . .

1. fishing stinks

2. don't fish waiting for the hunt

3. we relish in the lame and useless

4. bored silly

5. just plain silly



Survey Says ! ! ! !


lost post

Posted on: July 01 2004 @ 07:05 PM
By: Ezzy333

Content:

The success of this thread is it is the very first one on here that covers our intelligence level and explains clearly everything we knowin a manner we can understand!!!!!!!!!!



Ezzy


lost post

Posted on: July 01 2004 @ 08:25 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

and nobody has been called out to the parking lot........................yet Exclaimation


lost post

Posted on: July 01 2004 @ 08:51 PM
By: Rippa

Content:

If we would ever get around to a point for this thread, would that not in fact be a circle, and not a point? Eek! <,"}/>{ Rippa


lost post

Posted on: July 02 2004 @ 08:18 AM
By: jmenk421

Content:

Dear God! I logged on this morning and saw this had been removed from the homepage's thread list. I panicked!


lost post

Posted on: July 02 2004 @ 08:38 AM
By: goody

Content:

Ihavealsonotreadthisthread,butitsuredoes explainwhy

therearesomanymembersover1000postsnow Smile goody




lost post

Posted on: July 02 2004 @ 09:34 AM
By: ducks4me

Content:

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Laughing Out Loud Laughing Out Loud



Ducks


lost post

Posted on: July 02 2004 @ 12:07 PM
By: timbuck2

Content:

Just wanted to have another pointless point to make. Which is nothing.



Tim


lost post

Posted on: July 02 2004 @ 12:21 PM
By: Bucktail

Content:

It was nice to hear some Elvis on the radio this morning....you can't beat the King....



Seeearchin for yooooouuuuuuu....



In the cooold Kentucky raaaaaaaiiiiinn!!!!!


lost post

Posted on: July 02 2004 @ 12:21 PM
By: Bucktail

Content:

By the way, how cold is the rain in Kentucky?


lost post

Posted on: July 02 2004 @ 03:13 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Approaching 2600 views, talk about group therapy. Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: July 02 2004 @ 08:54 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

After this post I think we all need theapy Big Grin


lost post

Posted on: July 03 2004 @ 09:47 PM
By: rugerpup

Content:

I AM A BAD BAD MAN!!!



Twisted Evil Twisted Evil Twisted Evil


lost post

Posted on: July 03 2004 @ 09:49 PM
By: NEIAIceMan

Content:

Bougity Bougity Bougity


lost post

Posted on: July 03 2004 @ 09:50 PM
By: rugerpup

Content:

this buds for you race fans


lost post

Posted on: July 03 2004 @ 09:52 PM
By: NEIAIceMan

Content:

JR wins or not??


lost post

Posted on: July 03 2004 @ 10:14 PM
By: Larry Richard

Content:

I thought this thing had finally imploded from sheer weight of bs. now might as well get it to 200 before it outlives it uselessness. doc


lost post

Posted on: July 03 2004 @ 11:11 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

If a post is lost, and nobody notices, is it really lost or was it just misplaced? Question


lost post

Posted on: July 03 2004 @ 11:48 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

can somebody give me directions Question


lost post

Posted on: July 03 2004 @ 11:50 PM
By: NEIAIceMan

Content:

I can tell you where to go but I can't give you directions.......


lost post

Posted on: July 04 2004 @ 08:27 AM
By: river

Content:

Did Ruger find his dog?


lost post

Posted on: July 04 2004 @ 08:32 AM
By: d00buck

Content:

And why is it, when you're searching for something, it's always in the last place you look? Rolling Eyes Eek!


lost post

Posted on: July 04 2004 @ 09:21 AM
By: logger

Content:

Kentucky Rain is cold enough to freeze your heart. Thank you thank you very much!!


lost post

Posted on: July 04 2004 @ 09:22 AM
By: logger

Content:

Ruger has been found.


lost post

Posted on: July 04 2004 @ 09:29 AM
By: d00buck

Content:

I don't think Ruger was ever lost....just his master!


lost post

Posted on: July 04 2004 @ 09:32 AM
By: river

Content:

COOL! Surprised!


lost post

Posted on: July 04 2004 @ 09:41 AM
By: IceJohn

Content:

hope for lost ..soules.keep this going for ever Cool Cool


lost post

Posted on: July 04 2004 @ 01:13 PM
By: Rooster

Content:

This thread makes me want to cry. Cry


lost post

Posted on: July 04 2004 @ 08:29 PM
By: Bigdog

Content:

Ok what the heck I'm in.



David


lost post

Posted on: July 04 2004 @ 09:06 PM
By: Great White

Content:

I don't know what the hell that is in river's profile pic--but it is holding a BIG fish! LOL



--Bigfoot Whitey


lost post

Posted on: July 04 2004 @ 10:20 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

that is a big ole fish, we need info river


lost post

Posted on: July 05 2004 @ 12:13 AM
By: Lil Sprig

Content:

This is just like the brown acid at Woodstock - I can't get out of this.


lost post

Posted on: July 05 2004 @ 05:40 AM
By: Joe

Content:

Whitey, lots of rivers hold big fish! Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: July 05 2004 @ 09:01 AM
By: Bigdog

Content:

If your not there, and a big tree falls in the woods, does it make any noise?



David


lost post

Posted on: July 05 2004 @ 10:34 AM
By: kenhump

Content:

David, it is like the sound of one hand clapping. Cool


lost post

Posted on: July 05 2004 @ 12:09 PM
By: TurkeySlayer

Content:

What is this thread about anyways? Confused


lost post

Posted on: July 05 2004 @ 01:58 PM
By: Ray R

Content:

This thread is like an episode of Seinfeld. It's about nothing.


lost post

Posted on: July 05 2004 @ 02:27 PM
By: Prime_Focus

Content:

BURRRRRRPPPPPPP!!! Excuse Me


lost post

Posted on: July 05 2004 @ 06:14 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Totally underwhelming. A verbal rootcanel. A cyber fungus. Good warm up for the fall elections. None of that will make sense either. Eek!


lost post

Posted on: July 05 2004 @ 06:17 PM
By: ejensen

Content:

Hidee-ho everyone, just thought I'd add something to this, even if it's nothing! Laughing Out Loud


lost post

Posted on: July 05 2004 @ 06:49 PM
By: smallieboy

Content:

Boy...It's all starting to come together now...All this stuff is really making sence..... Wink ..Smallieboy Cool


lost post

Posted on: July 05 2004 @ 07:59 PM
By: MFlan

Content:

I go shopping every Thursday.


lost post

Posted on: July 05 2004 @ 10:32 PM
By: TurkeySlayer

Content:

Well then, if this is just about nothing...haha...I just came home from catfishing and caught a whole bunch of little ones! Big Grin


lost post

Posted on: July 05 2004 @ 11:08 PM
By: VikeFan

Content:

I like eating catfish with fried potatoes--gravy tastes good on potatoes. The Irish came here because their potatoes died. On St. Pat's Day, I drink green beer. If you puke green and you weren't drinking green beer, you may have kidney disease--my neighbor girl did once.


lost post

Posted on: July 06 2004 @ 08:01 AM
By: river

Content:

Ah, the magic of photo editing. Wink


lost post

Posted on: July 06 2004 @ 10:41 AM
By: spencer52356

Content:

i was driving to work this morning and hit a pheasant. I looked in the rear view mirror just in time to see the dead pheasant get stuck right between the cherries on top of a state trooper. He pulled me over and gave me a ticket!!!!1


lost post

Posted on: July 06 2004 @ 11:08 AM
By: Bigdog

Content:

Come on Spencer you should know you can't take phesants out of season. Razz



Well I guess I'll go to my lunch meeting.



I just love this thread!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



David


lost post

Posted on: July 06 2004 @ 01:28 PM
By: jimandemma

Content:

Spencer, don't ever, ever flip the bird at a State Trooper.


lost post

Posted on: July 06 2004 @ 01:48 PM
By: bigjake

Content:



Is it really jimandemma? Or is it emmaandjim? How do we know when it's just jim? Or just emma? Is it ever just jim or emma? Or is it sometimes just emma and sometimes just jim? I sense trouble.



Bob


lost post

Posted on: July 06 2004 @ 02:03 PM
By: spencer52356

Content:

jimandemma,



you had to go and ruin it did'nt ya. I've been waiting all afternoon for someone to bite on it. Everything else in this post is screwed up so this might as be screwed up too. What happens if this post never dies?


lost post

Posted on: July 06 2004 @ 03:02 PM
By: jimandemma

Content:

Big Jake, since I am the one buying the dog food, I will go first. If she has a better day in the field than me, which is most of the time, I will be sure to post her first.



Spencer, I could'nt help my self.




lost post

Posted on: July 06 2004 @ 04:14 PM
By: Ezzy333

Content:

Its real cloudy today. Think that means it might rain or might not. Oh well


lost post

Posted on: July 06 2004 @ 10:03 PM
By: Bigdog

Content:

Hey Ezzy,



Yep rained here in DSM today. Hmm but it wasn't supposed too. Oh well lets see what tomorrow brings. Hey lets ALL go FISHIN'



David


lost post

Posted on: July 06 2004 @ 10:13 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

EZZY, you were right.


lost post

Posted on: July 06 2004 @ 10:28 PM
By: Rooster

Content:

200+ posts, we are a sorry bunch.


lost post

Posted on: July 07 2004 @ 07:48 AM
By: kenhump

Content:

But we don't have to go to meetings. Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: July 07 2004 @ 08:04 AM
By: jd

Content:

What to add to this post... hmm... nope, can't think of anything right now. This does help me move towards my first 50 posts though. I should have separated those two thoughts and had two posts!


lost post

Posted on: July 07 2004 @ 08:13 AM
By: spencer52356

Content:

jd,



It's not like you to have nothing to say. kill to many cells last weekened? I'm one step closer to 100 post YIPEEE


lost post

Posted on: July 07 2004 @ 08:33 AM
By: rugerpup

Content:

can you hear me now???? good


lost post

Posted on: July 07 2004 @ 09:20 AM
By: jimandemma

Content:

Emma saw a duck last night.


lost post

Posted on: July 07 2004 @ 09:34 AM
By: spencer52356

Content:

That sounds like a country song.

Emma saw a duck last night

she saw it go by during its flight

It quaked at her as it flew by

oh emma saw a duck last night. YEEEHAAA


lost post

Posted on: July 07 2004 @ 09:57 AM
By: ducks4me

Content:

toga,toga,TOGA,TOGA,toga,toga,TOGA,TOGA......



Ducks


lost post

Posted on: July 07 2004 @ 10:09 AM
By: jimandemma

Content:

Emma saw a duck last night,

She also saw a 'gator.

I think we'll go fishing soon

'cause she like her fish with 'tators.




lost post

Posted on: July 07 2004 @ 10:57 AM
By: spencer52356

Content:

Maybe we should start a new thread. We could call it Iowa outdoors theme song. Everyone could contribute a verse then we could put together a song for Tim Mcgraw to sing.


lost post

Posted on: July 07 2004 @ 12:26 PM
By: bait

Content:

This page was created in 4.32 seconds


lost post

Posted on: July 07 2004 @ 12:32 PM
By: ducks4me

Content:

14.19 seconds according to mine. Laughing Out Loud Laughing Out Loud Laughing Out Loud



Ducks


lost post

Posted on: July 07 2004 @ 01:11 PM
By: MyDogCarl

Content:

1.96


lost post

Posted on: July 07 2004 @ 01:14 PM
By: TurkeySlayer

Content:

Spencer, that state trooper actually gave you a ticket for hitting a pheasant?? Rolling Eyes


lost post

Posted on: July 07 2004 @ 01:20 PM
By: spencer52356

Content:

Yes he did! It really pissed me off too! He wrote me a ticket for flipping him the bird. Laughing Out Loud


lost post

Posted on: July 07 2004 @ 01:35 PM
By: Rippa

Content:

That was fowl! Laughing Out Loud

<,"}/>{ Rippa


lost post

Posted on: July 07 2004 @ 01:37 PM
By: rugerpup

Content:

I LIKE.......................BIG .....BUTTS AND I CAN NOT LIE.....YOU OTHER.........





OPPS--WRONG THREAD AGAIN


lost post

Posted on: July 07 2004 @ 03:51 PM
By: basebklyn7

Content:

Oh, I don't think I'm a lot dumber than you think that I thought I once was.


lost post

Posted on: July 07 2004 @ 06:51 PM
By: MFlan

Content:

If thsi psot is lsot wyh is it so eays to fnid becusae I cnat raelyl see taht godo


lost post

Posted on: July 07 2004 @ 09:39 PM
By: Larry Richard

Content:

I think I have a shot for this problem thread. Everyone line up and drop trou. This thing is worse than a computer virus. doc


lost post

Posted on: July 07 2004 @ 10:14 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

just wanted to see how close to my 5th star I was Big Grin


lost post

Posted on: July 07 2004 @ 10:48 PM
By: Bigdog

Content:

dtniday yours is closer than mine. My 5th is too far off. Don't think this thread will get me there. Oh well night all.



David


lost post

Posted on: July 08 2004 @ 01:05 AM
By: jmboardman

Content:

uh ok

I need more fishing time and less work


lost post

Posted on: July 08 2004 @ 01:07 AM
By: jmboardman

Content:

I wonder


lost post

Posted on: July 08 2004 @ 01:07 AM
By: jmboardman

Content:

If


lost post

Posted on: July 08 2004 @ 01:07 AM
By: jmboardman

Content:

I


lost post

Posted on: July 08 2004 @ 01:08 AM
By: jmboardman

Content:

can


lost post

Posted on: July 08 2004 @ 01:08 AM
By: jmboardman

Content:

get


lost post

Posted on: July 08 2004 @ 01:08 AM
By: jmboardman

Content:

my


lost post

Posted on: July 08 2004 @ 01:08 AM
By: jmboardman

Content:

2


lost post

Posted on: July 08 2004 @ 01:09 AM
By: jmboardman

Content:

nd


lost post

Posted on: July 08 2004 @ 01:09 AM
By: jmboardman

Content:

star


lost post

Posted on: July 08 2004 @ 01:09 AM
By: jmboardman

Content:

just


lost post

Posted on: July 08 2004 @ 01:09 AM
By: jmboardman

Content:

by


lost post

Posted on: July 08 2004 @ 01:10 AM
By: jmboardman

Content:

finishing


lost post

Posted on: July 08 2004 @ 01:10 AM
By: jmboardman

Content:

this


lost post

Posted on: July 08 2004 @ 01:10 AM
By: jmboardman

Content:

sentence


lost post

Posted on: July 08 2004 @ 01:11 AM
By: jmboardman

Content:

hmm


lost post

Posted on: July 08 2004 @ 01:11 AM
By: jmboardman

Content:

yep.... Yeaaaaaay did it


lost post

Posted on: July 09 2004 @ 12:41 PM
By: timbuck2

Content:

Thought someone may have misplaced this thread, so wanted to put it up front.



Tim


lost post

Posted on: July 09 2004 @ 01:08 PM
By: jimandemma

Content:

Thanks Tim; I had lost the lost post. My weekend will now be complete.


lost post

Posted on: July 09 2004 @ 01:12 PM
By: Rooster

Content:

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.

"What are you doing?" She asked.

"Hunting Flies" He responded.

"Oh. Killing any?" She asked.

"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.

Intrigued, she asked. "How can you tell?"

He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone"


lost post

Posted on: July 09 2004 @ 02:22 PM
By: mud dragon

Content:

How many posts could a woodchuck post if a woodchuck could post posts. Doh!


lost post

Posted on: July 09 2004 @ 09:45 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

2 peguins in the shower 1 turns to the other and says pass the soap, the other says what do you think I am a radio


lost post

Posted on: July 10 2004 @ 08:19 AM
By: MFlan

Content:

Arf Art Arf Arf

What di you say Lssie?

ARf Arf ARF

Timmy fell down the well and he cant get out.

How did fall in the well?

Arf Arf ARF

You say a big cougar was a chasin him and he jumped in there to save himself.

Arf ARf ARf

You say it was a big yellow animal, Lassie you you stupid dog dont you know that there are no cougars in Iowa

It must have been one of them yeller labs.


lost post

Posted on: July 10 2004 @ 12:25 PM
By: Ray R

Content:

I can't believe you folks are still wasting your time by posting on this thread.


lost post

Posted on: July 10 2004 @ 01:06 PM
By: d00buck

Content:

When carp eat corn, do they get the shatz like we do?


lost post

Posted on: July 10 2004 @ 02:40 PM
By: ejensen

Content:

This has been one of the longest, entertaining, non-informational posts I've read in a long time.


lost post

Posted on: July 10 2004 @ 02:46 PM
By: Bigdog

Content:

For RayR



Some things in life are way too serious. This post like mentioned earlier is like Sienfeld. Its about everything and yet about nothing. I personally think we should never let the "lostpost" get lost. Long live the LOSTPOST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Ducks for President.



David


lost post

Posted on: July 10 2004 @ 02:47 PM
By: Bigdog

Content:

RayR says:

Saturday, July 10 2004 @ 12:25 PM CDT



I can't believe you folks are still wasting your time by posting on this thread.





Guess you are wasting your time as well. Rolling Eyes



David


lost post

Posted on: July 10 2004 @ 05:39 PM
By: bigjake

Content:



Red Fox to Gray Squirrel, Red Fox to Gray Squirrel. Over.




lost post

Posted on: July 10 2004 @ 05:48 PM
By: basebklyn7

Content:

Camping Tips...

Get even with a bear who raided your food bag by kicking his favorite stump apart and eating all the ants.



A hot rock placed in your sleeping bag will keep your feet warm. A hot enchilada works almost as well, but the cheese sticks between your toes.



The best backpacks are named for national parks or mountain ranges. Steer clear of those named for landfills.



When camping, always wear a long-sleeved shirt. It gives you something to wipe your nose on.



Take this simple test to see if you qualify for solo camping. Shine a flashlight into one ear. If the beam shines out the other ear, do not go into the woods alone.



A two-man pup tent does not include two men or a pup.



A potato baked in the coals for one hour makes an excellent side dish. A potato baked in the coals for three hours makes an excellent hockey puck.



In emergency situations, you can survive in the wilderness by shooting small game with a slingshot made from the elastic waistband of your underwear.


lost post

Posted on: July 10 2004 @ 05:57 PM
By: basebklyn7

Content:

Fisherman: "Hey, pal! You've been standing there watching me fish for three hours! Why don't you get a rod and reel and do some fishing yourself?"



Onlooker: "No, thanks. I don't have the patience for it."




lost post

Posted on: July 10 2004 @ 06:09 PM
By: Rooster

Content:

IF YOU ARE READING THIS POST, YOU SHOULD BE FISHING!


lost post

Posted on: July 10 2004 @ 10:33 PM
By: VikeFan

Content:

I am tired of rain this summer--can we sue the Weather Channel? Evil


lost post

Posted on: July 11 2004 @ 02:31 AM
By: Rooster

Content:

So, is this the biggest thread in site history yet? Gotta be. Or does it? Hmm... I better think about that for awhile.



Rooster


lost post

Posted on: July 11 2004 @ 12:26 PM
By: Rooster

Content:

This seemes like the best place to post this little story. This is the story that came along with the picture in my profile. I don't know how to post the picture so at the end of the story just look at the pic n my profile.



Dear Abby



I have been so blessed in my life. Great parents, great wife and kids, great job, and great education.

When I finally retired, I could hardly wait to spend time enjoying my favorite pastime -- bass fishing. I got my own little fishing boat and tried to get my wife to join me, but she just never liked fishing. Finally, one day at the Bait &Tackle Shop, I got to talking to Sam, the shop owner, who it turned out loves bass fishing as much as I do. We quickly became

fishing buddies. As I said, the wife doesn't care about fishing; she not only refuses to join us she always complains that I spend too much time fishing. A few weeks ago, Sam and I had the best fishing trip ever. Not only did I catch the most beautiful bass you've ever seen, only a few minutes later

Sam must have caught his twin brother! So I took a picture of Sam holding up the two nice bass that we caught and showed the picture to the wife hoping that maybe she'd get interested. Instead, she says she doesn't want me to go fishing at all anymore ! And she wants me to sell the boat! I think she

just doesn't like to see me enjoying myself. What would you do? Tell the wife to forget it and continue my hobby or quit fishing and sell the boat as she insists ?



Thanks,

A fisherman



PS I have enclosed the picture of Sam showing off the bass we caught.





(Look At Picture)

------------------------------------

Dear Fisherman,



Get rid of that narrow-minded wife.



Abby





Like I said, it's better with the picture in the story but I am comp. illiterate so this will have to do. If anyone want's the story with the pic., pm me your email add. and I will forward it to you. It's not a bad thing to get in your email in the morning.



Rooster


lost post

Posted on: July 11 2004 @ 12:48 PM
By: fishhead

Content:

Those are some nice hawgs..... I mean dawgs...... I mean bass. Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: July 11 2004 @ 01:12 PM
By: birdhunter88

Content:


lost post

Posted on: July 11 2004 @ 01:25 PM
By: Rooster

Content:

Thanks bird


lost post

Posted on: July 11 2004 @ 02:11 PM
By: Bigdog

Content:

This page was created in 0.47 seconds



WOW Must be some kind of record.



David


lost post

Posted on: July 11 2004 @ 02:12 PM
By: Bigdog

Content:

Sure do wish she was "fishing" on my boat. Oh the thoughts I'm having. Shame on you Bigdog............ Oops! Wink


lost post

Posted on: July 11 2004 @ 04:28 PM
By: bigjake

Content:

Four retired guys, after a round of golf, are walking down a street in Mesa, AZ. They turn a corner and see a sign that says "Old Timer's Bar" "ALL DRINKS 10 CENTS!"



They look at each other, then go in.



The old bartender says in a voice that carries across the room, "Come on in and let me pour one for you, what'll it be, Gentlemen?"



There seems to be a fully stocked bar, so the men all ask for a martini.



In short order, the bartender serves up 4 iced martinis -- and says, "That'll be 10 cents each, please."



They can't believe their good luck. They pay the 40 cents, finish their martinis, and order another round.



Again, four excellent martinis are produced with the bartender again saying, "That's 40 more cents, please."



They pay the 40 cents, but their curiosity is more than they can stand. They've each had two martinis and so far they've spent less than a dollar.



Finally one of the men couldn't stand it any longer and asks the bartender, "How can you afford to serve martinis as good as these for a dime apiece?"



"Here's my story. I'm a retired tailor from Brooklyn, and I always wanted to own a bar. Last year I hit the lottery for $25 million and decided to open this place. Every drink costs a dime, wine, liquor, beer, all the same."



"Wow That's quite a story!" says one of the men.



As four of them sipped at their martinis, they couldn't help but notice three other guys at the end of the bar who didn't have a drink in front of them and hadn't ordered anything the whole time they were there.



One man gestures at the three at the end of the bar without drinks and asks the bartender, "What's with them?"



The bartender says, "They're seniors from Minnesota, waiting for happy hour."




lost post

Posted on: July 11 2004 @ 05:55 PM
By: Tomhusker

Content:

I just want you all to know that I am better than you because I refuse to contribute to such drivel.


lost post

Posted on: July 11 2004 @ 06:03 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

When Bob got home last night, his wife demanded that he take her out to some place expensive.

So, Bob took her to the gas station.


lost post

Posted on: July 11 2004 @ 06:51 PM
By: birdhunter88

Content:


lost post

Posted on: July 11 2004 @ 07:28 PM
By: stitch

Content:

bump.


lost post

Posted on: July 11 2004 @ 07:47 PM
By: basebklyn7

Content:

nevermind.. tried posting a pic.. never works for me... .anyways... i dont know all there is to know about the government but ive made up my opinion that george w bush makes me sick. kerry doesnt impress me a hole lot either.


lost post

Posted on: July 11 2004 @ 09:20 PM
By: birdhunter88

Content:


lost post

Posted on: July 11 2004 @ 09:23 PM
By: Prime_Focus

Content:

Uh Oh!!! The lost post appears to be taking on a hint of meaning. Smile


lost post

Posted on: July 11 2004 @ 09:28 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Not really. ' Lost post' is much like the campaign. No logical start, no logical end and nothing of value inbetween.


lost post

Posted on: July 11 2004 @ 09:29 PM
By: birdhunter88

Content:


lost post

Posted on: July 11 2004 @ 09:53 PM
By: birdhunter88

Content:


lost post

Posted on: July 11 2004 @ 10:23 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

sorry forgot to post today


lost post

Posted on: July 11 2004 @ 10:32 PM
By: d00buck

Content:

And it doesn't matter which party they associate with...they're all rich bastards looking out for their own well being. Just had to bring politics into this and ruin it. My .02(with inflation, make that .01)


lost post

Posted on: July 11 2004 @ 11:05 PM
By: birdhunter88

Content:


lost post

Posted on: July 12 2004 @ 07:47 AM
By: Larry Richard

Content:

been gone all weekend, got my professional butt kicked by someone else's version of a test of what we should know, and returned to water in my basement, but Lost Post humor has put me in a mood to go to work today. birdhunter, where DO you get all the graphics, and how DO you make them work? Three hundred posts with no point? Puts one's mind to rest as it should be. doc


lost post

Posted on: July 12 2004 @ 08:20 AM
By: birdhunter88

Content:

Doc,

When you get to a picture on the "net", just start at the bottom right hand corner of the picture and left click and drag your cursor up to the upper left corner of the picture. The picture should become shaded in color. Move your cursor to the middle of the picture and right click you mouse and you will get a tool bar with options. Go to "properties" and click it. You will then see another larger tool bar pop up and you will go to the "address or url". Left click and drag the entire address url until it is completely shaded and then right click it and hit copy. Go back to the big tool bar and click "ok".



Now you can go back to IO and paste the picture anywhere you want by right clicking and hitting "paste". Then once the url address is in the post just left click it again and shade the entire address and go up to the menu in the IO menu bar and click "img". I always do a preview to see if it works. It is actually very simple and quick once you get the system down. But this only works with pictures on the internet. If you have personal pictures then you need to take them and move them from your document folders to a internet host so you can do the same. I use "snapfish" as a free internet picture service. When you get it down it is actually quite abit of fun to be able to copy and paste pictures to share with anyone you like..... I like to try and find the animated ones.... they can be a challange at times.... like the two polictical ones. I got them from Gunbroker.com and I think a couple of other ones from Shotgunworld.com....

Hope this helps you or anyone else out that is curious about how to do it.



bird


lost post

Posted on: July 12 2004 @ 09:50 AM
By: bait

Content:

There was a priest that loved to stream fish. One year there was a problem every time he had a chance to go fishing the weather was bad or it was on Sunday, when he had to work. All year he was anable to go. Finally it was the last week before the streams closed. The weather was bad all week until Sunday, when the weather was great. The priest could not resist, he called a fellow priest claiming to be very sick and asked if he could take over his sermon.



The flyfishing priest drove over 200 miles, not wishing to see anyone he knew.



An angel seeing the priest playing hooky went to God and said "Your not going to let him get away with this are you?". God agreed he should do something .



The first cast the priest made was perfect. The fly floated past a log and a huge mouth gulped the fly down. For 45 minutes the priest ran up and down the stream fighting the mighty fish. At the end he held a 50" world record rainbow trout.



Confused the angel asked God, "What are you doing?".



God replied "Think about it, who's he going to tell?"




lost post

Posted on: July 12 2004 @ 09:52 AM
By: bait

Content:

Fishing is like sex, the more you do it the bigger stories you tell.




lost post

Posted on: July 12 2004 @ 11:31 AM
By: dtniday

Content:

have I reach 500 yet

sheesh Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: July 12 2004 @ 11:32 AM
By: river

Content:



Guy walks into a bar and orders 10 shots of the best whisky they have. So the bartender pours 10 shots of Makers Mark and sets them up on the bar. The guy lines them up and suddenly grabs each one and drinks them down as fast as he can.



Bartender sez; "Man you hadn't oughta' drink like that!"



Guy sez; "You'd drink like this too if you got what I got."



Bartender sez; "Oh, I'm sorry, what do you got?"



Guy sez; " A dollar."




lost post

Posted on: July 12 2004 @ 11:38 AM
By: river

Content:

I have a different version of the same photo of Roosters Bass girl, but I don't think it's appropriate for this site. Or is it?


lost post

Posted on: July 12 2004 @ 11:44 AM
By: rugerpup

Content:

its so hot outside today that Lawyers are killing themselves because they know it's cooler in Hell.


lost post

Posted on: July 12 2004 @ 12:10 PM
By: birdhunter88

Content:

Funny Video click here



This Land


lost post

Posted on: July 12 2004 @ 09:36 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

2 guys out fishing see a funeral drive by the first man stands up and takes off his hat till the funeral goes by then sits down and continues fishing. The second man is deeply touched by this display and tells his buddy that was one of the nicest things I have ever seen. The first guys turns to his buddy and says.

It was the least I could do she was a good wife.


lost post

Posted on: July 12 2004 @ 09:52 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Is it hotter than heII?

A thermodynamics professor had written a take home exam for his graduate students. It had one question: "Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Support your answer with a proof."



Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant.



One student, however, wrote the following:



First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So, we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.



As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.



Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:



1). If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.



2). Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.



So which is it?



If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Therese Banyan during my Freshman year, "That it will be a cold night in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then #2 cannot be true, and so Hell is exothermic.



The student got the only A.


lost post

Posted on: July 12 2004 @ 11:29 PM
By: Rooster

Content:

It was little Johnny's first day in school, so his father looked up the teacher. He told her that little Johnny was a good kid but that he was an avid gambler. He warned that little Johnny might win lunch money from the other kids if he was not watched closely. The teacher did not seem disturbed, assured the father that she had handled many such problems and was very capable of taking care of little Johnny's urge to gamble.

Shortly after lunch, the father called the teacher and asked her how things were going. "Oh, everything is going very well." She said. "I think I may have cured little Johnny of his gambling habit." The father asked her what had happened. "The little tyke absolutely insisted on betting me ten dollars that I had a mole on my rear." She said. "I finally agreed to the bet and took him to the teacher's lounge to show him that I had no mole." "Damn!" The father said. "He bet me fifty dollars this morning that he would see the teacher's ass before the day was over."





Who closes the door after the bus driver gets out?



If a turtle doesn't have a shell...is it homeless or naked?



Do you ever wonder if fish feel wet?



It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.



Why is there a right angle, but no left angle?



Why do they make scentd markers when they tell kids not to sniff them in the first place?



Who decided to make "abbreviation" such a long word?



If vegetable oil is made of vegetables.....what is baby oil made from?







Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven.

When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven: don't step on the ducks!"

So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.

Along comes St.. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw.

St. Peter chains them together and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!"

The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.

The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps.

She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on .... very tall, long eyelashes, muscular, and thin.

St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.

The happy woman says, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?"

The guy says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck!"


lost post

Posted on: July 12 2004 @ 11:43 PM
By: Rooster

Content:

Ahh, to be young and in love.



http://www.hunt101.com/img/162645.jpg

lost post

Posted on: July 13 2004 @ 09:21 AM
By: dtniday

Content:

sheesh rooster, nice pic jsut my daily howdy.

Are we there yet Question


lost post

Posted on: July 13 2004 @ 10:00 AM
By: Hazmat

Content:

I can't BELIEVE this thing won't die...oh well, now it's longer...


lost post

Posted on: July 13 2004 @ 10:18 AM
By: colbyjack

Content:

aaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh the hamsters are coming there going to kill us all, helllllllllllllllllllp there everywhere! aaaahhhhhhhhhhhh

-colbyjack


lost post

Posted on: July 13 2004 @ 01:57 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

it keeps going and going and going ...


lost post

Posted on: July 13 2004 @ 02:11 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

here

who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks.



This is for the hampster lovers


lost post

Posted on: July 13 2004 @ 02:26 PM
By: eye_fly

Content:

I still have not read this thread, and have nothing to offer......


lost post

Posted on: July 13 2004 @ 05:09 PM
By: bird

Content:

Whats with you guys and hamsters ?


lost post

Posted on: July 13 2004 @ 09:19 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

I've fallen and I can't get up Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: July 13 2004 @ 09:20 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Seems there are lost posts within 'the lost post'.


lost post

Posted on: July 13 2004 @ 09:38 PM
By: Larry Richard

Content:

Heck, there are lost souls doing the lost post thread. Why else would a non sense accumulation of tripe accumulate such a large following and voluminous portion of cyberspace? Long live the lost post. It has an existence of its own, independent of fact, and only loosly connected to fiction. I think it is addicting. doc


lost post

Posted on: July 13 2004 @ 10:21 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

I'm lost but now I am found


lost post

Posted on: July 13 2004 @ 10:28 PM
By: Rooster

Content:

The Lost Post will never die. LONG LIVE THE "LOST POST"!!!!!


lost post

Posted on: July 13 2004 @ 10:36 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

I get 500 and no stars sheesh I get no respect Wink


lost post

Posted on: July 13 2004 @ 10:37 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

hey now they show up


lost post

Posted on: July 13 2004 @ 10:39 PM
By: Joe

Content:

Now what you going to try for Darrin? Wink


lost post

Posted on: July 14 2004 @ 08:18 AM
By: Ezzy333

Content:

Has anyone found the post yet?



Ezzy


lost post

Posted on: July 14 2004 @ 09:30 AM
By: rugerpup

Content:

nope still lost


lost post

Posted on: July 14 2004 @ 09:53 AM
By: dtniday

Content:

Can I find 1000, do I really have that much BS left Question maybe I can find it here Wink


lost post

Posted on: July 14 2004 @ 12:46 PM
By: basebklyn7

Content:

this kinda makes me feel like riverdancing


lost post

Posted on: July 14 2004 @ 12:48 PM
By: Rooster

Content:

The Boondock Saits Perhaps?



Rooster


lost post

Posted on: July 14 2004 @ 12:52 PM
By: basebklyn7

Content:

that would be correct rooster... theres a sequel coming out soon for it. boondock II all saints day.. have no idea on a release day though. same people playing hte brothers though.

i wanna see that uncensored bass picture


lost post

Posted on: July 14 2004 @ 12:57 PM
By: Rooster

Content:

Yeah I think that film is coming out in a year or so. Just love that movie, especailly the courtroom scene. I had to do a report on it last semester for a class, best dam homework assigment I ever got.



Rooster


lost post

Posted on: July 14 2004 @ 05:30 PM
By: rugerpup

Content:

saldkaldgjasdklfjasdklfjasdklfjasdlk;fjaskld;fjaskl;d



asdjkfhasdjkfhasdjklfhasdjklfhasdjkl



okay you too- its about time to take this post back to being about nothing,,,, which is what is on top of this post


lost post

Posted on: July 14 2004 @ 05:32 PM
By: Rooster

Content:

Sorry, we were almost developing a point or a subject. I am very sorry about that, or am I, hmmmmm.



Rooster


lost post

Posted on: July 14 2004 @ 06:17 PM
By: birdslayer31

Content:

Count me in on that hula hoop contest, as long as it happens before winter, I don't want to freeze my belly button.


lost post

Posted on: July 14 2004 @ 09:24 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

where is the grass skirt


lost post

Posted on: July 15 2004 @ 02:47 AM
By: Rooster

Content:

I shot the Sheriff but I did not shoot the Deputy. Oh wait, yeah I shot him too.





Rooster


lost post

Posted on: July 15 2004 @ 09:30 AM
By: rugerpup

Content:

The highway's filled with broken heros on a last-chance power-drive


lost post

Posted on: July 15 2004 @ 09:56 AM
By: dtniday

Content:

I've fallen and I can't reach my beer


lost post

Posted on: July 16 2004 @ 08:00 AM
By: MFlan

Content:

I have just reread the entire lost post, and I truly beleive that I am stupider for having done so.


lost post

Posted on: July 16 2004 @ 09:01 AM
By: dtniday

Content:

the lost is found


lost post

Posted on: July 16 2004 @ 11:14 AM
By: manho

Content:

Rooster - Nice Rack . . . . Eek!



What is the record for # of posts?



"train kept a runnin all night long . . . ."


lost post

Posted on: July 16 2004 @ 11:47 AM
By: Rooster

Content:

I came to this thread thinking there may be something interesting on here finally but alas there is not.



WARNING: Reading the LOST POST THREAD may melt your brain.



Rooster Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: July 16 2004 @ 11:51 AM
By: rugerpup

Content:

brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrp





opps sorry about that.


lost post

Posted on: July 16 2004 @ 11:56 AM
By: Rippa

Content:

A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city because he was short of time, and couldn't find a space with a meter. He then put a note under the windshield wiper that read: I have circled this block 10 times. If I don't park here, I will miss my appointment. Forgive us our trespasses."

When he returned, he found a citation from a police officer along with this note: "I've circled this block for 10 years. If I don't give you a ticket, I could lose my job. Lead us not into temptation."

Big Grin

<,"}/>{ Rippa


lost post

Posted on: July 16 2004 @ 12:14 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

I like Beer it makes me a jolly good fellow


lost post

Posted on: July 16 2004 @ 12:50 PM
By: Starman

Content:

How much does it cost to add my 2 cents? First time I looked at this lost post thing. Hey look, I even edited it!


lost post

Posted on: July 16 2004 @ 12:56 PM
By: JeffN

Content:

Looking at this topic just serves to remind me how much I'd rather be fishing.



Jeff


lost post

Posted on: July 16 2004 @ 01:00 PM
By: rugerpup

Content:

please quick-- someone pull my finger....


lost post

Posted on: July 16 2004 @ 01:20 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

too late


lost post

Posted on: July 16 2004 @ 01:30 PM
By: scruffy

Content:



A redneck's famous last words:



"Here, hold my beer." Eek!



Laughing Out Loud



later,

scruffy


lost post

Posted on: July 16 2004 @ 05:49 PM
By: ejensen

Content:

Back to the top!!!!

Drinkin and druggin and wathing tv.Eatin cold pizza and drinkin icetea.


lost post

Posted on: July 16 2004 @ 05:53 PM
By: MFlan

Content:

It's Shake an Bake and I helllped.


lost post

Posted on: July 16 2004 @ 06:02 PM
By: ejensen

Content:

Plop! Plop! Fizz! Fizz! oh what a relief this is!!!! Laughing Out Loud


lost post

Posted on: July 16 2004 @ 06:20 PM
By: bird

Content:


lost post

Posted on: July 16 2004 @ 06:28 PM
By: ejensen

Content:

GO CUBS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Razz


lost post

Posted on: July 16 2004 @ 06:48 PM
By: bird

Content:

National League Central



Team W L Pct. GB



St. Louis 55 33 .625 -



Chi. Cubs 48 41 .539 7


lost post

Posted on: July 16 2004 @ 06:59 PM
By: ejensen

Content:

A guy can dream can't he! Wink


lost post

Posted on: July 16 2004 @ 07:04 PM
By: bird

Content:

Yes you can, I respect a man that is willing to stand behind a belief even when the chips are down. If the Cards can't do it. I hope the Cubbies can just because you believe they can.



bird


lost post

Posted on: July 16 2004 @ 07:09 PM
By: logger

Content:

Go Cards!!!


lost post

Posted on: July 16 2004 @ 09:00 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

I'm a little teapot short and stout


lost post

Posted on: July 16 2004 @ 09:28 PM
By: d00buck

Content:

OK Darrin, now you're starting to scare me! Laughing Out Loud


lost post

Posted on: July 16 2004 @ 09:40 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

who me Eek!


lost post

Posted on: July 16 2004 @ 10:36 PM
By: ZekeZebco

Content:

I couldn't wait another day.


lost post

Posted on: July 16 2004 @ 10:48 PM
By: rugerpup

Content:

"honest honey- that was someone elses green ford pick up with a topper and a cableas sticker in the rear window that was park outside the boob bar tonight. I was across town at the church helping with the bake off...."





I am in trouble now....




lost post

Posted on: July 16 2004 @ 11:00 PM
By: Larry Richard

Content:

Is it bad if you quote the lost post to make a point? Can you make a point if you quote the lost post? Would you ever quote the lost post? Can you ever get over it if you began to read the lost post? Will it ever die? Should it ever die? Ah, the profound wanderings of a man on call. doc


lost post

Posted on: July 17 2004 @ 06:56 AM
By: Joe

Content:

"Hickory dickery DOC?" Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: July 17 2004 @ 07:37 AM
By: bird

Content:

"Hickory dickery DOC?"




"Rooster laid in bed looking at the clock." Mr. Green



cont......




lost post

Posted on: July 17 2004 @ 07:59 AM
By: ejensen

Content:

The clock struck eight, he headed for the lake.


lost post

Posted on: July 17 2004 @ 08:32 AM
By: d00buck

Content:

But when he got there, he'd forgotten the bait!


lost post

Posted on: July 17 2004 @ 09:03 AM
By: ejensen

Content:

Been there, done that! Oops!


lost post

Posted on: July 17 2004 @ 02:26 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

just sit right back


lost post

Posted on: July 17 2004 @ 03:21 PM
By: ejensen

Content:

And you'll hear a tale,


lost post

Posted on: July 17 2004 @ 03:47 PM
By: d00buck

Content:

the tale of a fateful trip,


lost post

Posted on: July 17 2004 @ 04:55 PM
By: basebklyn7

Content:

of cheese balls and catfish dip,


lost post

Posted on: July 17 2004 @ 05:10 PM
By: bird

Content:

pokin a cougar with blaze orange stick !


lost post

Posted on: July 17 2004 @ 05:18 PM
By: ejensen

Content:

CUBS WIN! CUBS WIN! Razz


lost post

Posted on: July 17 2004 @ 05:27 PM
By: fishhead

Content:

I think I can, I think I can, ........... Go Cubbies! Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: July 17 2004 @ 08:01 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Hickory, dickery DOC,

three mice ran up the clock.

The clock struck one,

and the other two excaped with minor injuries!

Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: July 17 2004 @ 08:05 PM
By: ejensen

Content:

Thank god for that! Big Grin


lost post

Posted on: July 17 2004 @ 08:45 PM
By: Bigdog

Content:

Only 201 more posts to go for me to hit the all elusive 500 and my 5th star. WOOHOO Rolling Eyes



David


lost post

Posted on: July 17 2004 @ 08:56 PM
By: ejensen

Content:

I'm still working on my third star.


lost post

Posted on: July 17 2004 @ 09:06 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

hi


lost post

Posted on: July 17 2004 @ 09:10 PM
By: Bigdog

Content:

Hang in there ejensen and you will get it. But that damn 5th star is so elusive. The first 4 aren't too bad. Maybe I'll just post another 200 on this lost post? Hmm a thought to ponder.....



David


lost post

Posted on: July 17 2004 @ 09:12 PM
By: Bigdog

Content:

Hi



David


lost post

Posted on: July 17 2004 @ 09:13 PM
By: Bigdog

Content:

WOW 198 and counting down.



David


lost post

Posted on: July 17 2004 @ 09:13 PM
By: Bigdog

Content:

Ok so I got a little carried away. I'll stop.



David


lost post

Posted on: July 17 2004 @ 09:14 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

keep going both of you, if I can do it anyone can Wink


lost post

Posted on: July 17 2004 @ 09:25 PM
By: Bigdog

Content:

Well hell yeah ejensen. Lets post away.



David


lost post

Posted on: July 17 2004 @ 09:26 PM
By: Bigdog

Content:

194 bottles of beer on the wall. 194 bottles of beer.



David


lost post

Posted on: July 17 2004 @ 09:28 PM
By: banjo50

Content:

Stop already, this one topic will fill up Tony's server. Or don't.


lost post

Posted on: July 17 2004 @ 09:31 PM
By: Bigdog

Content:

Bad Banjo.



David


lost post

Posted on: July 17 2004 @ 10:17 PM
By: bird

Content:

400. Prophecy given to Raymond Aguilera on 4 February 1994 at 11:09 PM. in Spanish.





Pick the branch, pick the branch My son for it has arrived. The day of the star has arrived. The Flame of Heaven is going to hit the world with the Force of God. It has arrived. You have to awake everyone that wants to hear the truth.



Hear Me! Hear Me! It has arrived the things of Heaven, the things of your Father, the things of the Son, the things of the Holy Spirit. I am going to point you in the direction of Heaven with the Force of Heaven. For I am going to close, I am going to close all of the world, with the Force of the Father, with the Force of the Son, Jesus, with the Force of the Holy Spirit.



I want you to open your eyes and ears, and I want you to see all the people that I am going to show you on the road. Look at the people, look at the children, the mothers, the Fathers, because I am going to shake all that is of the devil. I am going to shake it with the Force of the Father, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. You are going to see the miracles of God, your Father, with the Son, and the Holy Spirit.



Don't worry for your truck. Don't worry for your friends. Don't worry for I will bring you back to your house in the manner of God. But I want you to pray in the manner of God. For there are bad spirits in the places I am sending you. I want you to tie them and I want you to send them to the pit with the Force of the Angels, with the Force of your Father, with the Force of Jesus, with the Force of the Holy Spirit.



We are going to use your body and I want you to pray, and with your prayers We are going to start the fight with what is good, and with what is bad. For We are going to clean all that's of the devil with the Force of God, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.



Pray and I will show you the things of God My little son. I know the worries you have, of your truck, of money, of where you are going to sleep, and where you are going to wake up, where you are going to eat, and where you are not going to eat. But you have a job to do, just do what I am telling you in the manner of God. Did you hear Me Reymundo? Did you hear Me? You are in the middle of the State of Utah where they look for God contrary to the other churches that look for me. But your God of Heaven, the One who made the world, the stars, that made everything, is going to correct everything, with the Force of Heaven, with the Force of your Father, with the Force of the Son, with the Force of the Holy Spirit.



You, I just want you to pray, and pray, and I will show you what you have to do, and when you have to do it. Don't worry for We have already started, "The End of All." Did you hear Me, Reymundo? We have started the End of All," and I will protect you with My Hand, with My Word, and with the Force of the Holy Spirit.



Hear comes the Star of Heaven. Did you hear Me? Here comes the Star of Heaven. For what I say is going to happen exactly like I said. This is your Father, with the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Arm yourself, and pray, and pray, and pray, and pray.



Carmanlito, Carmanlito, Carmanlito.


lost post

Posted on: July 17 2004 @ 10:20 PM
By: Joe

Content:

This is rediculous but 400! Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: July 17 2004 @ 10:22 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

401


lost post

Posted on: July 17 2004 @ 11:24 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Sell @ 425.


lost post

Posted on: July 18 2004 @ 01:51 AM
By: nater3

Content:

Yeah, so I dated this midget once. Boy, I tell ya, I was just nuts over her!


lost post

Posted on: July 18 2004 @ 07:17 AM
By: ejensen

Content:

Well I'm back at it shooting for 3! Smile


lost post

Posted on: July 18 2004 @ 10:58 AM
By: Bigdog

Content:

Almost there ejensen. Come on you can do it. Only 3 more to go.



David


lost post

Posted on: July 18 2004 @ 11:16 AM
By: ejensen

Content:

Hey Bigdog I'm almost there!


lost post

Posted on: July 18 2004 @ 11:17 AM
By: ejensen

Content:

This should do it. Razz


lost post

Posted on: July 18 2004 @ 01:54 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

congrads ed this post is worth something after all Wink


lost post

Posted on: July 18 2004 @ 02:10 PM
By: ejensen

Content:

Is there an easy way to get to the last page quickly? Confused


lost post

Posted on: July 18 2004 @ 02:19 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

that little page or square to the right on the title click on that I just figured it out a couple of days ago, or go into forums then go to the fishing forum for example, and click on the page you want. Uh I made sense I'm a little tea pot Wink


lost post

Posted on: July 18 2004 @ 02:33 PM
By: ejensen

Content:

Thanks Darrin that makes things quicker! Big Grin


lost post

Posted on: July 18 2004 @ 06:19 PM
By: drifty4

Content:

THERE IS NO LAST PAGE!!!!!!!!



ARGHHH!


lost post

Posted on: July 18 2004 @ 06:36 PM
By: ejensen

Content:

It's never ending Exclaimation Exclaimation Exclaimation Exclaimation


lost post

Posted on: July 18 2004 @ 07:02 PM
By: Bigdog

Content:

Congrats ejensen you made it to the ranks of 3 star general. WOOHOO Big Grin



David


lost post

Posted on: July 18 2004 @ 09:06 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

it keeos going and going and going ....


lost post

Posted on: July 18 2004 @ 09:51 PM
By: Bigdog

Content:

Just like the energizer bunny...............................



He will never die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



David


lost post

Posted on: July 18 2004 @ 11:31 PM
By: Tomhusker

Content:

Dominus, postus, posporabiscus post mordamed, tutuella carbarundum. dude.


lost post

Posted on: July 19 2004 @ 08:45 AM
By: Hazmat

Content:

jeesh...


lost post

Posted on: July 19 2004 @ 09:19 AM
By: dtniday

Content:

morning


lost post

Posted on: July 19 2004 @ 09:24 AM
By: ducks4me

Content:

Ya know, I just got done reading all 400+ posts and I'm really not sure what you guys are talking about. Laughing Out Loud Laughing Out Loud Laughing Out Loud



Ducks


lost post

Posted on: July 19 2004 @ 09:33 AM
By: bigjake

Content:



Thank God! I thought it was just me!



Bob Razz


lost post

Posted on: July 19 2004 @ 10:02 AM
By: rugerpup

Content:

I came home from work late last night and was greeted by my wife dressed in a sexy little nightie. "Tie me up," she purrs, "and you can do anything you want." So I tied her up and went fishing....


lost post

Posted on: July 19 2004 @ 12:45 PM
By: nanunanu

Content:

It wouldn't feel right unless I posted one...


lost post

Posted on: July 19 2004 @ 12:45 PM
By: nanunanu

Content:

...Or two.


lost post

Posted on: July 19 2004 @ 02:02 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

afternoon


lost post

Posted on: July 19 2004 @ 02:07 PM
By: DuckMan

Content:

Big Grin Smile Frown Eek! Confused Cool Laughing Out Loud Angry Cry Surprised! Oops! Razz Evil Twisted Evil Rolling Eyes Wink Arrow Idea Question Exclaimation Neutral Mr. Green that is how I feel


lost post

Posted on: July 19 2004 @ 02:08 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

this has a life of it's own now


lost post

Posted on: July 19 2004 @ 06:22 PM
By: Bigdog

Content:

How about this one:



LOST POST FOR PRESIDENT?????????



David


lost post

Posted on: July 19 2004 @ 08:42 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

evening



Hey it can't be any worse than our choices we have now


lost post

Posted on: July 19 2004 @ 09:26 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

8100 views, what an exqusite waste of time. Cyber self-abuse. Twisted Evil


lost post

Posted on: July 19 2004 @ 09:29 PM
By: fishhead

Content:

and going.......and going.......and going


lost post

Posted on: July 19 2004 @ 09:31 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

but wait there's more


lost post

Posted on: July 19 2004 @ 10:12 PM
By: nanunanu

Content:

Has anyone tried to read all these posts? I tried to......but i think i now need medication! Help me Doc!


lost post

Posted on: July 19 2004 @ 10:16 PM
By: fishhead

Content:

Ducks says he has.


lost post

Posted on: July 19 2004 @ 10:57 PM
By: walleye wisdom

Content:

I haven't thrown any help into this so i might as well. This should be the initiation for all new IO members, read all lost post posts!


lost post

Posted on: July 20 2004 @ 07:24 AM
By: DuckMan

Content:

I have tried to read them all but I got lost


lost post

Posted on: July 20 2004 @ 10:20 AM
By: dtniday

Content:

morning it's hot out


lost post

Posted on: July 20 2004 @ 10:31 AM
By: icebox

Content:

i can't believe i just read this whole thread. think i've gone posted my self retarded.


lost post

Posted on: July 20 2004 @ 11:31 AM
By: DuckMan

Content:

Icebox I hope you did it at work I can't see spending that much time on my own dime


lost post

Posted on: July 20 2004 @ 01:31 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

afternoon, just wanted # 600


lost post

Posted on: July 20 2004 @ 01:53 PM
By: basebklyn7

Content:

There was a Kentucky redneck and an Ohio buckeye, fishing on their respective sides of the Ohio river. Just as soon as the redneck put his line in the water, he slung a fish onto the bank, and the buckeye was catching nothing, so he yelled across to the redneck, ''Buddy, I'd sure like to be on your side of the river!''



''Aight, tell ya whut, I'll shine my flashlight 'cross this river, and you can walk across this little beam of light!'' the redneck yelled back.



The buckeye replied, ''Hain't no way, buddy. I know you think I'm a fool! When I get halfway 'cross, you'll turn your flashlight off!''




lost post

Posted on: July 20 2004 @ 06:30 PM
By: bird

Content:

Is the "Lost Post" one of the following? ( all crank yankers are elligible to vote)

Entertaining 10 (23.26%)

Instigatiing 2 (4.65%)

Hazardous to your health. 4 (9.30%)

Bull S 19 (44.19%)

A great stress reliever. 8 (18.60


lost post

Posted on: July 20 2004 @ 07:58 PM
By: nanunanu

Content:

Men argue, nature acts. - Voltaire


lost post

Posted on: July 20 2004 @ 08:22 PM
By: nanunanu

Content:

Bird:



my vote: The lost post is a STRESS RELIEVING form of ENTERTAINMENT which can INSTIGATE BULLSHIT making it HAZARDOUS TO YOUR HEALTH. You know, just like fishing itself!


lost post

Posted on: July 20 2004 @ 09:03 PM
By: dougd

Content:

long live the post


lost post

Posted on: July 21 2004 @ 07:20 AM
By: dtniday

Content:

argh dt's my wife took over the computer last nigth couldn't get onarrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhhhh!!!!!!


lost post

Posted on: July 21 2004 @ 10:34 AM
By: jimandemma

Content:

I still refuse to post on this thread.


lost post

Posted on: July 21 2004 @ 10:52 AM
By: DuckMan

Content:

Work sucks I wish I was fishing Frown


lost post

Posted on: July 21 2004 @ 11:24 AM
By: dtniday

Content:

I feel better now


lost post

Posted on: July 21 2004 @ 01:08 PM
By: Ezzy333

Content:

Any one that posts on this post needs to get a life.

Just don't know where they sell tham!



Ezzy


lost post

Posted on: July 21 2004 @ 02:00 PM
By: DuckMan

Content:

I don't understand this lost post thing.


lost post

Posted on: July 21 2004 @ 02:15 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

There's a story


lost post

Posted on: July 21 2004 @ 02:20 PM
By: colbyjack

Content:

bird, watch out for those sneaky hamsters they'll get ya!



this thread has almost been the greatest one ever.



note to self, lets pickle some baby musky. mmm mmm mmm


lost post

Posted on: July 21 2004 @ 02:32 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

about a lovely lady


lost post

Posted on: July 21 2004 @ 07:09 PM
By: nanunanu

Content:

7:02 and all is swelled......er all is well. Oops!


lost post

Posted on: July 21 2004 @ 07:15 PM
By: MFlan

Content:

Be alert we need more lerts


lost post

Posted on: July 21 2004 @ 10:10 PM
By: colbyjack

Content:

who's 10 games back and in 2nd place???


lost post

Posted on: July 22 2004 @ 09:20 AM
By: dtniday

Content:

I don't know


lost post

Posted on: July 22 2004 @ 10:46 AM
By: colbyjack

Content:

The cubs. go red birds!! world series bound. ( i hope ) lol - chris


lost post

Posted on: July 22 2004 @ 10:56 AM
By: dtniday

Content:

go royals

One can pray cubbie fans do Wink


lost post

Posted on: July 22 2004 @ 01:59 PM
By: jd

Content:

Has the lost post been found yet? Spencer, get your *** back to work!


lost post

Posted on: July 22 2004 @ 07:36 PM
By: nanunanu

Content:

Lost in space. Confused


lost post

Posted on: July 22 2004 @ 09:04 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

where oh where has the little post gone


lost post

Posted on: July 22 2004 @ 10:13 PM
By: nanunanu

Content:

And in the voice of the great Eric Cartman: "Screw you guys...I'm going home"



Cry


lost post

Posted on: July 22 2004 @ 10:20 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Much ado about nothing.


lost post

Posted on: July 22 2004 @ 11:58 PM
By: iaslabslayer

Content:

lol i figure i'll musky it, oops i mean albino it, i mean cougar aww hell i'll jus end it there.



iaslabslayer Razz



ooooh yeah n go Red Sox! lol cubs vs red sox series this year maybe if both can pull their heads outta there butts lately. and if not thats ok i'll b at wrigley next year when the red sox play the cubs! YAY!


lost post

Posted on: July 23 2004 @ 07:30 AM
By: Hazmat

Content:

....aaaack, this thing won't die...you all needa quit posting to this message....dangit, I did it again.


lost post

Posted on: July 23 2004 @ 07:32 AM
By: Bigdog

Content:

This lost post is like the creature in the movie The Blob. It just keeps on growing.



David


lost post

Posted on: July 23 2004 @ 08:41 AM
By: dtniday

Content:

bwah hahahahahahahhahahahaha


lost post

Posted on: July 23 2004 @ 07:47 PM
By: nanunanu

Content:

IT IS ALIVE!!!!!


lost post

Posted on: July 23 2004 @ 08:55 PM
By: reelman

Content:

Big Grin Big Grin CUBS 5 PHILIES 1 GO CUBS!!!!!


lost post

Posted on: July 23 2004 @ 09:42 PM
By: Rooster

Content:

Why do I continue to read this. WHY WHY WHY Exclaimation Question


lost post

Posted on: July 23 2004 @ 10:52 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Why not?


lost post

Posted on: July 23 2004 @ 11:03 PM
By: nanunanu

Content:

How do you put a quote on your post at the bottom? (wow a lost post w/ substance!)


lost post

Posted on: July 23 2004 @ 11:20 PM
By: Rooster

Content:

You can NOT use the lost post to get something informative!!!! But to add a quote at the bottom...go to Account information on the left hand side of the svreen and then put your quote into the "Signature" block.



Rooster


lost post

Posted on: July 23 2004 @ 11:36 PM
By: nanunanu

Content:

Thanks. Sh$t I posted again! Surprised!


lost post

Posted on: July 23 2004 @ 11:50 PM
By: Rooster

Content:

Eek! Eek! Eek! Eek! Second time I have seen that word on this site Eek! Eek! Eek! Eek!


lost post

Posted on: July 23 2004 @ 11:54 PM
By: nanunanu

Content:

Good thing I can edit. Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: July 23 2004 @ 11:59 PM
By: Rooster

Content:

Me too


lost post

Posted on: July 24 2004 @ 04:29 AM
By: ejensen

Content:

Been a long week away from the computer but I'm back! Just like this post Eek!


lost post

Posted on: July 24 2004 @ 04:30 AM
By: ejensen

Content:

Now it's time to go fishing!!!!!!!


lost post

Posted on: July 24 2004 @ 06:13 AM
By: Joe

Content:

What are we thinking Question

Apparently nothing.


lost post

Posted on: July 24 2004 @ 01:26 PM
By: Rooster

Content:

Just stopped by to read all the intelliegent new thoughts but since I could not find any of those I guess I will leave this short unintelligent message.


lost post

Posted on: July 24 2004 @ 01:44 PM
By: Ray R

Content:

I bet alot of people have earned several stars keeping this post alive.


lost post

Posted on: July 24 2004 @ 02:44 PM
By: MFlan

Content:

Is it Live or is it Memorx? Our should I say Is this post Live or is it Memorex?


lost post

Posted on: July 24 2004 @ 06:16 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

..and the beat goes on.....


lost post

Posted on: July 24 2004 @ 10:48 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

These might equal 'the lost post' in context.



World's Thinnest Books "





~~@~~





FRENCH WAR HEROES

by Jacques Chirac



HOW I SERVED MY COUNTRY

by John Kerry



MY BEAUTY SECRETS

by Janet Reno



HOW TO BUILD YOUR OWN AIRPLANE

by John Denver



MY SUPER BOWL HIGHLIGHTS

by Dan Marino



THINGS I LOVE ABOUT BILL

by Hillary Clinton



MY LITTLE BOOK OF PERSONAL HYGIENE

by Osama Bin Laden



THINGS I CANNOT AFFORD

by Bill Gates



THINGS I WOULD NOT DO FOR MONEY

by Dennis Rodman



MY WILD YEARS

by Al Gore



AMELIA EARHART'S GUIDE TO THE PACIFIC



AMERICA'S MOST POPULAR LAWYERS



DETROIT: A TRAVEL GUIDE



A COLLECTION of MOTIVATIONAL SPEECHES

by Dr. J. Kevorkian



EVERYTHING MEN KNOW ABOUT WOMEN



EVERYTHING WOMEN KNOW ABOUT MEN



ALL THE MEN I HAVE LOVED BEFORE

by Ellen de Generes



GUIDE TO DATING ETIQUETTE

by Mike Tyson



SPOTTED OWL RECIPES

by the EPA



THE AMISH PHONE DIRECTORY



MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS

by O. J. Simpson



And the world's Number One Thinnest Book ......



MY BOOK OF MORALS

by Bill Clinton


lost post

Posted on: July 25 2004 @ 02:48 AM
By: nanunanu

Content:

Is this thread obsessive or compulsive? Confused


lost post

Posted on: July 25 2004 @ 10:41 AM
By: kenhump

Content:

possibly


lost post

Posted on: July 25 2004 @ 12:57 PM
By: bird

Content:


lost post

Posted on: July 25 2004 @ 02:29 PM
By: colbyjack

Content:

hashahhahahaha, if you go to wrigley the upper deck concreate might fall on ya. the curse of harry carrey. cubs never again in the series...lol


lost post

Posted on: July 25 2004 @ 03:38 PM
By: ejensen

Content:

This pokes fun at both sides of the presidential race, very funny, you'll have to copy and paste to address bar, don't know how to make the link work otherwise.

http://atomfilms.shockwave.com/contentPlay/shockwave.jsp?id=this_land&preplay=1&ratingBar=off


lost post

Posted on: July 25 2004 @ 04:29 PM
By: Rooster

Content:

Lets


lost post

Posted on: July 25 2004 @ 04:30 PM
By: Rooster

Content:

see


lost post

Posted on: July 25 2004 @ 04:30 PM
By: Rooster

Content:

If


lost post

Posted on: July 25 2004 @ 04:30 PM
By: Rooster

Content:

we


lost post

Posted on: July 25 2004 @ 04:30 PM
By: Rooster

Content:

can


lost post

Posted on: July 25 2004 @ 04:31 PM
By: Rooster

Content:

get


lost post

Posted on: July 25 2004 @ 04:31 PM
By: Rooster

Content:

500 Mr. Green Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: July 25 2004 @ 06:02 PM
By: Tomhusker

Content:

Should we stop at 500?


lost post

Posted on: July 25 2004 @ 06:03 PM
By: Tomhusker

Content:

(one line at a time)



Once upon a time there was a......


lost post

Posted on: July 25 2004 @ 06:05 PM
By: ejensen

Content:

Fisherman from Iowa......


lost post

Posted on: July 26 2004 @ 07:20 AM
By: dtniday

Content:

I have no computer at home aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

good morning Big Grin


lost post

Posted on: July 26 2004 @ 07:44 AM
By: CamperJack

Content:

Mr. Green Thia is the most important thing I have to today,ain't I lucky?


lost post

Posted on: July 26 2004 @ 12:35 PM
By: MFlan

Content:

Thank You Mr. Knowitall


lost post

Posted on: July 26 2004 @ 01:53 PM
By: jd

Content:

That had lived in Iowa all of his life...


lost post

Posted on: July 26 2004 @ 02:34 PM
By: nanunanu

Content:

Over 500 posts with almost 10,000 views. What a mindless waste of time.....I love it. Razz


lost post

Posted on: July 28 2004 @ 01:17 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

what's this almost 2 days since the last post shame shame shame Cool


lost post

Posted on: July 28 2004 @ 01:33 PM
By: DuckMan

Content:

That has to be some kind of record.


lost post

Posted on: July 28 2004 @ 04:09 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

If nobody posted to the Lost Post, would the Lost Post be lost?


lost post

Posted on: July 28 2004 @ 04:13 PM
By: DuckMan

Content:

GO CUBS!!!!!!!!!!


lost post

Posted on: July 28 2004 @ 08:30 PM
By: MFlan

Content:

Someone please help with this question.

Does a chicken have lips?


lost post

Posted on: July 28 2004 @ 09:06 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Must or you'd see it's teeth when it smiled..ken Laughing Out Loud


lost post

Posted on: July 28 2004 @ 10:23 PM
By: d00buck

Content:

Isn't that what they make hot dogs out of? That, and the other end!


lost post

Posted on: July 29 2004 @ 04:55 AM
By: IceJohn

Content:

Hay every body send me 2 cents,then this would make senseICE JOHN


lost post

Posted on: July 29 2004 @ 06:57 AM
By: kenhump

Content:

All hail IceJohn, father of the 'lost post'.


lost post

Posted on: July 29 2004 @ 07:12 AM
By: dtniday

Content:

good morning and welcome to my nightmare

Laughing Out Loud


lost post

Posted on: July 29 2004 @ 08:14 AM
By: WALLEYES_ONLY

Content:

wow it seems everybodys adding but me.....lol



alan's lawn care and more

fort dodge iowa 50501



specializing in lawn mowing yard...

also do tree trimming, brush trimming,racking, snow shoveling,hauling


lost post

Posted on: July 29 2004 @ 08:19 AM
By: WALLEYES_ONLY

Content:

attention



we r looking for people of 4x4 trucks jeeps whatever u own to join our offroad club its called iowa mud slingers..its just a bunch og guys with 4x4s getting together and haveing one heck of a good time..it can be jeep or truck....and if anyone is looking for any jeep parts and u cant find them look me up ive got a hook up he can get anything u want for jeeps u NAME IT ..our club cost 30.00 a year u get a sticker to put on ur truck stating ur a member of the club...we will be down in knoxville labor day weekend look for a big yellow jeep with our name on it..email me if anyone would like more info on club thank u....


lost post

Posted on: July 29 2004 @ 12:24 PM
By: Bucktail

Content:

Hey Rooster,



Change your picture back to the chick holding the fish, I liked her a lot better.....


lost post

Posted on: July 29 2004 @ 02:28 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

afternoon, I'm falling behind


lost post

Posted on: July 29 2004 @ 06:08 PM
By: WALLEYES_ONLY

Content:

ITS GETTING CLOSE TO FOOTBALL SEASON SO HERE IT GOES.......





GO HAWKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


lost post

Posted on: July 29 2004 @ 07:01 PM
By: Kim

Content:

Blonde Male Joke





Two blonde guys were working for the city works department. One

would dig a hole and the other would follow behind him and fill the hole in.





They worked up one side of the street, then down the other, then

moved on to the next street, working furiously all day without rest, one guy

digging a hole, the other guy filling it in again.



An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn't understand

what they were doing. So he asked the hole digger, "I'm impressed by

the effort you two are putting into your work, but I don't get it -- why

do you dig

a hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it up again?"



The hole digger wiped his brow and sighed,"Well, I suppose it

probably looks odd because we're normally a three-man team. But today

the guy who plants the trees called in sick."






lost post

Posted on: July 29 2004 @ 07:13 PM
By: whip2

Content:

Question Hey Ducky when would be a good time for you to cook us up a meal??

Whip2


lost post

Posted on: July 30 2004 @ 07:10 AM
By: dtniday

Content:

argh 7 days without a computer at home hope to get it back soon


lost post

Posted on: July 30 2004 @ 10:44 AM
By: kenhump

Content:

really only misplaced in the end...


lost post

Posted on: July 30 2004 @ 01:09 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

AFTERNOON


lost post

Posted on: July 30 2004 @ 05:37 PM
By: ejensen

Content:

I work away from home all week on the road (litteraly), and when I get home this is the first thing I check out and theres the lost post every time. And I sit here and read all the new ones since I've been gone, and I love it, but my wife doesn't!!!!!!!!


lost post

Posted on: July 30 2004 @ 05:42 PM
By: goody

Content:

ydoog



!keeeee......syawedis si yaw hcihw dna pu si yaw tahw wonk t'nod I !!ti esol ot gnitrats eb yam I kniht I !!dam em gnivird si gniht tsop tsol sihT


lost post

Posted on: July 30 2004 @ 06:02 PM
By: ejensen

Content:

OK Confused


lost post

Posted on: July 30 2004 @ 08:47 PM
By: d00buck

Content:

Hang on to your sanity Goody, I understood you perfectly!


lost post

Posted on: July 30 2004 @ 09:08 PM
By: Kim

Content:

THANK YOU GOD - i know how to read backwards!!! I od ro???? lololol!!


lost post

Posted on: July 30 2004 @ 09:39 PM
By: d00buck

Content:

Kim, did you purposely spell LOL backwards? That threw me! Laughing Out Loud


lost post

Posted on: July 31 2004 @ 12:12 AM
By: Joe

Content:

Thanks a lot kim, I understood the whole equation until you clued me in. Now I will be going to therapy Monday at noon or is it noon? Confused Confused


lost post

Posted on: July 31 2004 @ 12:27 AM
By: WALLEYES_ONLY

Content:

im getting a new truck and i didnt even have to pay for it.........but its a ford Confused been a chevy man ever since i got my first hot rod in high school that was the good old days go out and race...........only racing we do know is on a track..........


lost post

Posted on: August 02 2004 @ 09:19 PM
By: nanunanu

Content:

This just came to me....a new conspiracy theory....yeah thats right...the political debate threads were started and locked in an effort to keep the Lost Post from filing up Tony's server. Huh?!?



















The mad Hatter strikes again .....

Mr. Green





(for those of you with no humor this was a joke)




lost post

Posted on: August 03 2004 @ 12:00 PM
By: DuckMan

Content:

bump


lost post

Posted on: August 03 2004 @ 01:35 PM
By: Hazmat

Content:

This thing's still goin'??? Rolling Eyes


lost post

Posted on: August 03 2004 @ 01:52 PM
By: bigjake

Content:



Polytacs, er politicks, er pollytics....er Polly want a cracker?



Ed Meese




lost post

Posted on: August 03 2004 @ 06:23 PM
By: TurkeySlayer

Content:

Vote Bush 2004!


lost post

Posted on: August 03 2004 @ 07:27 PM
By: swobak

Content:

My first addition to the post to end all posts....


lost post

Posted on: August 10 2004 @ 06:27 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

I'm still alive, still have no computer at home and now in a department wher I have no access to the internet arrghhhh Cry


lost post

Posted on: August 10 2004 @ 09:03 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Kind of like having a gun and no ammo. Neutral


lost post

Posted on: August 12 2004 @ 12:21 PM
By: ZekeZebco

Content:



VOICE ACTIVATED



A woman bought a new Lexus L3400 and returned the next day complaining

that she couldn't figure out how the radio worked.

The salesman explained that the radio was voice activated. "Watch

this," he said. "Nelson!"



The radio replied, "Ricky or Willie?"



"Willie," replied the salesman, and "On The Road Again" came from the

speakers.



The woman drove away happy and for the next few days, every time she'd

say, "Beethoven," she'd get beautiful classical music, and if she

said,

"Beatles," she'd get one of their awesome songs.



One day, a couple ran a red light and nearly creamed her new car, but

she swerved in time to avoid them.



"A*#%OLES!" she yelled ...



French National Anthem began to play, sung by the Dixie Chicks and Linda

Ronstadt!






lost post

Posted on: August 12 2004 @ 12:36 PM
By: Outdooraddict

Content:

91


lost post

Posted on: August 12 2004 @ 12:36 PM
By: Outdooraddict

Content:

92


lost post

Posted on: August 12 2004 @ 12:37 PM
By: Outdooraddict

Content:

93


lost post

Posted on: August 12 2004 @ 12:37 PM
By: Outdooraddict

Content:

94


lost post

Posted on: August 12 2004 @ 12:38 PM
By: Outdooraddict

Content:

95,wait a minute this is cheating.I guess I'll have to get to 100 the right way

OA

Gary


lost post

Posted on: August 12 2004 @ 02:43 PM
By: nanunanu

Content:

it's feeling like fall ladies and gentlemen! Big Grin


lost post

Posted on: August 12 2004 @ 02:46 PM
By: DuckMan

Content:

What happened to global warming?????


lost post

Posted on: August 12 2004 @ 03:31 PM
By: jdw84_2003

Content:

ITS ABOUT TIME I GET TO THE END OF THIS POST SO I BETTER ADD TO IT


lost post

Posted on: August 12 2004 @ 04:21 PM
By: VikeFan

Content:

It lives.


lost post

Posted on: August 12 2004 @ 08:00 PM
By: nanunanu

Content:

[QUOTE BY= VikeFan] It lives.[/QUOTE]



Hey Vikefan,



I can't wait until Saturdays game! Arizona's going down! Razz


lost post

Posted on: August 12 2004 @ 08:52 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

I'mmmmmmmmmmmmm baaaaaaaaaaaaacccccckkkkkkkkk

2 and a half weeks but I'm back bwahahahahahahaha Twisted Evil


lost post

Posted on: August 17 2004 @ 10:23 AM
By: JeffN

Content:

Guess I'll chip in . . .


lost post

Posted on: August 17 2004 @ 12:01 PM
By: deerslayer_pa

Content:

That's and ex-Parrot.


lost post

Posted on: August 17 2004 @ 12:50 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

unParrotrotic maybe? Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: August 17 2004 @ 12:53 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

la la lalala let's live for today


lost post

Posted on: August 18 2004 @ 12:31 AM
By: deerslayer_pa

Content:

"you silly English ka-nig-its, I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries".



Python Lives


lost post

Posted on: August 18 2004 @ 04:04 AM
By: VikeFan

Content:

It's four in the morning, and I am the only member on IO.


lost post

Posted on: August 18 2004 @ 05:46 AM
By: drifty4

Content:

It's 5:40, I'll take over for a while, take a break vikefan.


lost post

Posted on: August 18 2004 @ 08:39 AM
By: eye_fly

Content:

I still have not read this thread and have nothing to add.......


lost post

Posted on: August 18 2004 @ 09:49 AM
By: Hazmat

Content:

five hunnert and how many posts?????


lost post

Posted on: August 18 2004 @ 09:56 AM
By: deerslayer_pa

Content:

Lets see Lost Post string now stands at 565...oops make that 566. Less than 500 to go to 1000. Long Live the Lost Post. Huzza


lost post

Posted on: August 18 2004 @ 12:49 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

african or europian swallow


lost post

Posted on: August 18 2004 @ 02:19 PM
By: nanunanu

Content:

TIM: Well, that's no ordinary rabbit.That's the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on.



ROBIN: You tit! I soiled my armor I was so scared.



TIM: Look that rabbit's got a vicious streak a mile wide! He's a killer!


lost post

Posted on: August 18 2004 @ 02:24 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

come back and I'll bite your knee caps off


lost post

Posted on: August 18 2004 @ 02:39 PM
By: nanunanu

Content:

Come and see the violence inherent in the system.





Help, help, I'm being repressed!


lost post

Posted on: August 18 2004 @ 03:56 PM
By: Tomhusker

Content:

I haven't been fishing in 12 days!


lost post

Posted on: August 18 2004 @ 05:49 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Catfish for lunch was excellent.


lost post

Posted on: August 18 2004 @ 07:22 PM
By: Don Shafer

Content:

This is going to be posted in as many forums that is necessary to get you people to realize that G.W Bushyt is your enemy.

BUSH IGNORES HIS OWN PROMISES ON WETLANDS



Last week, President Bush said he is working to "restore, improve and protect at least 3 million wetland acres over the next five years."[1] But according to a new report released today, the Bush administration has actually done the reverse by using a key court ruling to encourage a severe degradation of wetlands throughout the country.



As the Washington Post reports, the Bush administration "has allowed developers to drain thousands of acres of wetlands under a policy adopted last year." The study, which documents the administration policy, was conducted by four nonpartisan environmental watchdog groups and based on documents acquired through the Freedom of Information Act. It found that the Bush administration's interpretation of a 2001 Supreme Court decision has ensured that developers are allowed to run roughshod over previous efforts to protect fragile wetlands.[2]



You can read the full report online at www.nrdc.org.



Sources:

1. "Supporting America's Farmers and Conserving America's Land," The White House, 08/04/04, http://daily.misleader.org/ctt.asp?u=1146671&l=50132.

2. "Report Says U.S. Is Draining Wetlands," The Washington Post, 08/12/04, http://daily.misleader.org/ctt.asp?u=1146671&l=50133.





Visit www.Misleader.org for more about Bush Administration distortion.


lost post

Posted on: August 18 2004 @ 08:02 PM
By: drifty4

Content:

That is not how you spell Mr. Bushes name.



Besides if Kerry takes your guns away, what are you going to shoot all the ducks and geese with anyway?



We would be overrun with them!



Of course that could be good for the economy. Imagine all the duck crap shovels that someone could sell. Good product for the off season at the snow shovel companies anyway.


lost post

Posted on: August 18 2004 @ 08:26 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Don this is a fun forum, please take you hairbrained ideas else where. I for one am getting tired of you constant badgering and lamebrained ideas. ken Evil


lost post

Posted on: August 18 2004 @ 09:15 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

I cut your bloody arm off

tis only a flesh wound


lost post

Posted on: August 18 2004 @ 09:15 PM
By: dougd

Content:

Did you hear how the illini cheerleaders attract men? They put their ankles behing their ears. GO HAWKS!


lost post

Posted on: August 18 2004 @ 10:16 PM
By: bird

Content:

Coo Coo

(Peter Albin)

Oh, the cuckoo, she's a pretty bird, and she warbles when she flies

But she never hollers cuckoo till the fourth day of July.



Said Jack o'Diamonds, well Jack o'Diamonds, oh I know you of old,

Honey you robbed me of my silver and out of all my gold,

All of my gold, all of my gold.



Well, Jack o'Diamonds, oh Jack o'Diamonds, oh I know you of old,

Honey, you robbed me of my silver and out of all my gold.



Said the cuckoo, she's a cruel bird, and she warbles when she flies

And every time that she passes, my true love says good-bye,

Well, says good-bye, well says good-bye,

Ooh, ooh...




lost post

Posted on: August 18 2004 @ 11:04 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Hickory, dickery, dock,

three mice ran up the clock.

The clock struck one,

and the other two

excaped with minor injuries


lost post

Posted on: August 18 2004 @ 11:32 PM
By: banjo50

Content:

That is cold, Don.


lost post

Posted on: August 18 2004 @ 11:32 PM
By: banjo50

Content:

BIG FOOT lives.


lost post

Posted on: August 18 2004 @ 11:33 PM
By: banjo50

Content:

I have proof.


lost post

Posted on: August 18 2004 @ 11:33 PM
By: banjo50

Content:

Saw him playing softball in Ames.


lost post

Posted on: August 19 2004 @ 01:56 PM
By: jkratz

Content:

Don, why not quit being such an a.ss clown and start talking about outdoors instead of your lame a.ss political issues. I think we all know how you feel and I can't say that any of us give a $hit.


lost post

Posted on: August 19 2004 @ 05:48 PM
By: timbuck2

Content:

Uh, I wanted to say... oh, I forgot.



Forget it



Tim


lost post

Posted on: August 19 2004 @ 06:23 PM
By: bigred6933

Content:

"Would the person who left their kids in the Jack Trice Stadium parking lot please come get them? They're beating the Cyclones 27-6!" Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: August 19 2004 @ 06:28 PM
By: d00buck

Content:

I don't care who ya' are...now that's funny!


lost post

Posted on: August 19 2004 @ 06:41 PM
By: jsbandit

Content:

had to put my 2 cents in on this one, figured it's not long enough yet


lost post

Posted on: August 19 2004 @ 08:59 PM
By: depo8th

Content:

time for another

The Hired Hand ....







The banker saw his old friend Tom, an eighty-year-old rancher, in town one day. Tom had lost his wife a year or so before and rumor had it that he was marrying a "mail order" bride.



Being a good friend, the banker asked Tom if the rumor was true.



Tom assured him that it was.



The banker then asked Tom the age of his new bride to be. Tom proudly said, "She'll be twenty-one in November."



Now the banker, being the wise man that he was, could see that the sexual appetite of a young woman could not be satisfied by an eighty-year-old man.



Wanting his old friend's later years to be happy ones, the banker tactfully suggested that Tom should consider getting a hired hand to help him out on the ranch, knowing nature would take its own course.



Tom thought this was a good idea and said he would look for one that afternoon.

About four months later, the banker ran into Tom in town again.



"How's the new wife?" asked the banker.



Tom proudly said, "Oh, she's pregnant."



The banker, happy that his sage advice had worked out, continued,

"And how's the hired hand?"



Without hesitating, Tom said, "She's pregnant too."


lost post

Posted on: August 19 2004 @ 09:08 PM
By: lebruce

Content:

Hey Guy's, IceJohn's post got lost have you seen it anywhere Question I think someone took it Exclaimation


lost post

Posted on: August 19 2004 @ 09:23 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Was it a corner post or a line post? Laughing Out Loud


lost post

Posted on: August 20 2004 @ 12:29 AM
By: banjo50

Content:

this


lost post

Posted on: August 20 2004 @ 12:30 AM
By: banjo50

Content:

is


lost post

Posted on: August 20 2004 @ 12:30 AM
By: banjo50

Content:

some


lost post

Posted on: August 20 2004 @ 12:30 AM
By: banjo50

Content:

real


lost post

Posted on: August 20 2004 @ 12:31 AM
By: banjo50

Content:

junk


lost post

Posted on: August 20 2004 @ 12:31 AM
By: banjo50

Content:

someone


lost post

Posted on: August 20 2004 @ 12:31 AM
By: banjo50

Content:

please


lost post

Posted on: August 20 2004 @ 12:32 AM
By: banjo50

Content:

get


lost post

Posted on: August 20 2004 @ 12:32 AM
By: banjo50

Content:

rid


lost post

Posted on: August 20 2004 @ 12:32 AM
By: banjo50

Content:

of


lost post

Posted on: August 20 2004 @ 12:32 AM
By: banjo50

Content:

this


lost post

Posted on: August 20 2004 @ 12:33 AM
By: banjo50

Content:

junk


lost post

Posted on: August 20 2004 @ 05:10 AM
By: dtniday

Content:

I've fallen and I can't find this post


lost post

Posted on: August 20 2004 @ 09:07 AM
By: Tony

Content:

God despises Republicans




Here is a good example of how to get a thread locked on this site and, possibly, get banned.



--Tony


lost post

Posted on: August 20 2004 @ 10:54 AM
By: Tony

Content:

Unlocked now that Don is gone


lost post

Posted on: August 20 2004 @ 10:55 AM
By: DuckMan

Content:

Its baaaacccckkkk!!!!!!


lost post

Posted on: August 20 2004 @ 11:08 AM
By: hack

Content:

the lost has been found


lost post

Posted on: August 20 2004 @ 12:02 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Rock & roll, lock & load, whatever, it's back. That fountain of knowledge, THE LOST POST! ken


lost post

Posted on: August 20 2004 @ 12:13 PM
By: Outdooraddict

Content:

Upon it's release was the lost post given a new suit and a bus ticket?

Who do we talk to about making this day a holiday.Lost Post Independance day,

OALOL


lost post

Posted on: August 20 2004 @ 12:14 PM
By: Outdooraddict

Content:

Dear Members,

Would it be considered unethical if I used the lost post to gain my next 2 stars?

OA


lost post

Posted on: August 20 2004 @ 01:04 PM
By: iaslabslayer

Content:

how easily are we ammused? lol o well....crap i posted in here again.


lost post

Posted on: August 21 2004 @ 09:38 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

IT'S ALIVE !!!!!!!!!!!


lost post

Posted on: August 21 2004 @ 09:43 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Not only alive, it's reared up on it's hind legs and walking..k Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: August 22 2004 @ 01:47 AM
By: deerslayer_pa

Content:

It's easy to find the "lost post" when you have a seeing-eye mouse. Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: August 22 2004 @ 09:54 AM
By: bigred6933

Content:

Did y'all hear about the Cyclone quarterback who couldn't find his dorm after the game? Somebody had placed an end zone in front of it... Cool

Mark


lost post

Posted on: August 22 2004 @ 10:23 AM
By: fish

Content:

ok a guy goes down to the wellfare office to get his unemployment check, he says to the lady "I really am getting tired of coming down here, I want to get back to work." The lady at the office says "your in luck a millionare we know needs a chauffer for his beautiful daughter and you'll be flown all over the world, room and board paid for and 200,000 dollars a year. whad'ya think


lost post

Posted on: August 22 2004 @ 11:40 AM
By: stitch

Content:

Let's solve everything and make me president. Cool


lost post

Posted on: August 22 2004 @ 12:03 PM
By: nanunanu

Content:

Here is good outdoors joke sure to offend someone:



The old Indian chief sat in his home on the reservation, smoking his ceremonial pipe, eyeing the two U.S. government officials sent to interview him. "Chief Two Eagles," one official began, "you have observed the white man for many years. You have seen all his progress and all his problems." The chief nodded. The official continued, "What do you think of all the white man has done?" The chief stared at the officials for more than a minute, and then calmly replied. "When white man found the land, Indians were running it. No taxes. No debt. Plenty buffalo, plenty beaver. Women did most of the work. Medicine man free. Indian men hunted and fished all the time." The chief paused, then added, "Only white man dumb enough to think he could improve system like that."



I am laughing at myself as we speak.


lost post

Posted on: August 22 2004 @ 12:06 PM
By: stitch

Content:

Haha.


lost post

Posted on: August 22 2004 @ 12:54 PM
By: ejensen

Content:

Amen Exclaimation Wink


lost post

Posted on: August 22 2004 @ 08:44 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

aaaaaaarrrrrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhhhhh

after a week off with the kids I have to go back to work tomorrow somebody shoot me Big Grin


lost post

Posted on: August 22 2004 @ 08:46 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

it was a great week though,


lost post

Posted on: August 22 2004 @ 08:51 PM
By: Bigdog

Content:

Damn I almost forgot about this post. Welcome Back Kotter. LOL



David


lost post

Posted on: August 22 2004 @ 08:59 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

oh oh oh me mr. kotter


lost post

Posted on: August 23 2004 @ 02:00 AM
By: deerslayer_pa

Content:

Hey, has anyone seen my compass? I lost it walking on the line.


lost post

Posted on: August 23 2004 @ 06:18 AM
By: bigred6933

Content:

Sven and Ole head out deer hunting up in Wisconsin. They get up in their tree stands and then Ole is overtaken by the "call of nature". Not wanting to climb down out of his tree stand, he decides to just hang over the edge to drop the "load". Then he dozes off. A short while later Sven comes along dragging a deer that he had just shot, and sees his friend asleep in his tree stand. Sven says to himself "I'm going to play a joke on old Ole", dresses out his deer there and leaves the gutpile right under his treestand. Then Sven continues on to camp.

A few hours later Ole comes limping into the cabin, saying [use best Norwegian eccent here] "fellas, you wouldn't believe what happened out there. I got up into my tree stand and then had to sh**. When I came to I realized that I had sh** so hard that I sh** all my guts out. But with the help of God and a forked stick, I was able to get them all back in."


lost post

Posted on: August 24 2004 @ 12:34 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Just got back from Sioux City. By Sheldon, think I saw a puma, with a blaze orange collar, ditch hunting, being chased by a pack of wolves, then again............. Wink


lost post

Posted on: August 24 2004 @ 03:05 PM
By: IceJohn

Content:

Tony,I am sorry I created this monster.Step on its head and kill it please. Cry Cry Oops! ICE JOHN


lost post

Posted on: August 24 2004 @ 06:35 PM
By: MFlan

Content:

Step on its head and kill it. My god do you want this post running around like a chicken with its head pulled off. It just goes in circles and has no sense of direction or ability to think straight. We dont want that happening to this post do we?


lost post

Posted on: August 24 2004 @ 08:01 PM
By: Bigdog

Content:

Of course we do. Rolling Eyes



David


lost post

Posted on: August 24 2004 @ 09:03 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

kill it sheesh you'd think this was a hunting and fishing site Big Grin


lost post

Posted on: August 24 2004 @ 11:24 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

CHICKEN FRIED STEAK AND COUNTRY GRAVY



1 lb. top round steak (1/2 inch thick)

1 tsp. salt

1/4 tsp. pepper

3/4 c. flour

1/4 c. milk

1 egg, beaten

1/4 c. shortening

GRAVY:



1/4 c. butter

1/4 c. flour

1 tsp. salt

1/4 to 1/2 tsp. pepper

2 c. milk



Divide steak into 4 equal pieces. Score steaks 1/8 inch deep on each side. Pound steaks to 1/4 inch thickness. Combine salt, pepper, and flour. Set aside. Combine milk and beaten egg. Dredge steaks in flour mixture; dip in milk mixture; dredge again in flour.



Heat shortening in skillet on medium high. Fry steaks about 2 to 3 minutes on each side until golden brown. Remove and keep warm. Melt butter in skillet with drippings. Add flour, salt and pepper.



Cook slowly on medium, stirring until smooth and bubbly. Add the milk to the flour mixture in skillet, stirring well. Cook gravy on low heat, stirring constantly, until desired thickness if reached.



When using flour as a thickener, you may substitute 1/2 tablespoon cornstarch, potato starch, rice starch or arrow root starch, or 1 tablespoon quick-cooking tapioca for 1 tablespoon flour.


lost post

Posted on: August 25 2004 @ 12:07 AM
By: deerslayer_pa

Content:

Traditional Haggis



1 sheep's pluck (stomach bag)

2 lb.. dry oatmeal

1 lb. suet

1 lb. lamb's liver

2 1/2 cups stock

1 large chopped onion

1/2 tsp. cayenne pepper,

Jamaica pepper and salt



Boil liver and parboil the onion, then mince them together. Lightly brown the oatmeal. Mix all ingredients together. Fill the sheep's pluck with the mixture pressing it down to remove all the air, and sew up securely. Prick the haggis in several places so that it does not burst. Place haggis in boiling water and boil slowly for 4-5 hours. Serves approximately 12.



Guaranteed to put hair on your chest.



BTW: Q- Do you know why a Scotsman wears a kilt?



A-It's because sheep can hear a zipper at 100 yards.


lost post

Posted on: August 25 2004 @ 12:09 AM
By: bigred6933

Content:

10 things to do @ Walmart, etc. while your wife is shopping, but this can be used anywhere:



1. Get 24 boxes of condoms & randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.



2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals.



3. Make a trail of tomato jiuce on the floor leading to the rest rooms.



4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone: "Code 3 in Housewares" and see what happens.



5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.



6. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream: "NO! NO! It's those voices again!".



7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask: "Why can't you people just leave me alone."



8. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme to "Mission: Impossible".



9. Hide in a clothes rack and when people browse through, say: "Pick me, pick me."



10. Go into the FITTING ROOM, shut the door, wait 5 minutes and then yell loudly: "Hey! You're out of toilet paper in here!".










lost post

Posted on: August 25 2004 @ 01:18 AM
By: basebklyn7

Content:

dont want to bring anything political up as this is just a neat little game i found. so i thought i would add it in here.. maybe keep it hidden a little bit. mr t, he man, and hulk go on to fight george w bush.. kinda funny.

http://www.emogame.com/bushgame.html


lost post

Posted on: August 25 2004 @ 06:06 AM
By: bigred6933

Content:

Dear Abby,



I am a crack dealer in Beaumont, Texas who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier of HIV virus. My parents live in Fort Worth and one of my sisters, who lives in Pflugerville, is married to a transvestite.



My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana. They are financially dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Dallas. I have two brothers, one is currently serving a life sentence with no possibility of parole at Huntsville for the murder of a teenage boy in 1994. My other brother is currently in jail awaiting charges of sexual misconduct with his three children.



I have recently become engaged to marry a former prostitute who lives in Longview. She is a part time "working girl". All things considered, my problem is this. I love my fianc


lost post

Posted on: August 25 2004 @ 06:28 AM
By: bigred6933

Content:

I've had ENOUGH!! OK, I have had it. I've taken all I can stand and I can't stand no more. Every time my TV is on, all that can be seen is effeminate men prancing about, redecorating houses and talking about foreign concepts like "style" and "feng shui." Heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, transsexual, metrosexual, non-sexual; blue, green, and purple-sexual - bogus definitions have taken over the urban and suburban world!



Real men of the world, stand up, scratch your butt, belch, and yell "ENOUGH!" I hereby announce the start of a new offensive in the culture Wars, the Retrosexual movement.



The Code :



A Retrosexual man, no matter what the women insists, PAYS FOR THE DATE.



A Retrosexual man opens doors for a lady. Even for the ones that fit that term only because they are female.



A Retrosexual DEALS with IT, be it a flat tire, break-in into your home, or a natural disaster, you DEAL WITH IT.



A Retrosexual not only eats red meat, he often kills it himself.



A Retrosexual doesn't worry about living to be 90. It's not how long you live, but how well. If you're 90 years old and still smoking cigars and drinking, I salute you.



A Retrosexual does not use more hair or skin products than a woman. Women have several supermarket aisles of stuff. Retrosexuals need an endcap (possibly 2 endcaps if you include shaving goods.)



A Retrosexual does not dress in clothes from Hot Topic when he's 30 years old.



A Retrosexual should know how to properly kill stuff (or people) if need be. This falls under the "Dealing with IT" portion of The Code.



A Retrosexual watches no TV show with "*****" in the title. Example..."***** Eye for the Straight Guy" The censor took care of this 'un...



A Retrosexual does not let neighbors screw up rooms in his house on national TV.



A Retrosexual should not give up excessive amounts of manliness for women. Some is inevitable, but major reinvention of yourself will only lead to you becoming a froo-froo little puss, and in the long run, she ain't worth it.



A Retrosexual is allowed to seek professional help for major mental stress such as drug/alcohol addiction, death of your entire family in a freak treechipper accident, favorite sports team being moved to a different city, favorite bird dog expiring, etc. You are NOT allowed to see a shrink because Daddy didn't pay you enough attention. Daddy was busy DEALING WITH IT. When you screwed up, he DEALT with you.



A Retrosexual will have at least one outfit in his wardrobe designed to conceal himself from prey.



A Retrosexual knows how to tie a Windsor knot when wearing a tie -- and ONLY a Windsor knot.



A Retrosexual should have at least one good wound he can brag about getting.



A Retrosexual knows how to use a basic set of tools. If you can't hammer a nail, or drill a straight hole, practice in secret until you can -- or be rightfully ridiculed for the wuss you be.



A Retrosexual knows that owning a gun is not a sign that your are riddled with fear, guns are TOOLS and are often essential to DEAL WITH IT. Plus it's just plain fun to shoot.



Crying. There are very few reason that a Retrosexual may cry, and none of them have to do with TV commercials, movies, or soap operas. Sports teams are sometimes a reason to cry, but the preferred method of release is cussing or throwing the remote control. Some reasons a Retrosexual can cry include (but are not limited to) death of a loved one, death of a pet (fish do NOT count as pets in this case), loss of a major body part.



When a Retrosexual is on a crowded bus and or a commuter train, and a pregnant woman, heck, any woman gets on, that Retrosexual stands up and offers his seat to that woman, then looks around at the other so-called men still in their seats with a disgusted "you punks" look on his face.



A Retrosexual knows how to say the Pledge properly, and with the correct emphasis and pronunciation. He also knows the words to the Star Spangled Banner



A Retrosexual will have hobbies and habits his wife and mother do not understand, but that are essential to his manliness, in that they offset the acceptable manliness decline he suffers when married/engaged or in a serious healthy relationship - i. e., hunting, boxing, shot putting, shooting, cigars, car maintenance.



A Retrosexual man can drive in snow (heck, a blizzard) without sliding all over or driving under 20mph, without anxiety, and without high-centering his ride in a snow bank.



A Retrosexual man can chop down a tree and make it land where he wants. Wherever it lands is where he darn well wanted it to land.



A Retrosexual will give up his seat on a bus to not only any women but any elderly person or person in military dress (except 2nd Lt's) NOTE: The person in military dress may turn down the offer but the Retrosexual man will ALWAYS make the offer to them and thank them for serving their country.



A Retrosexual man doesn't need a contract -- a handshake is good enough. He will always stand by his word even if circumstances change or the other person deceived him.



A Retrosexual man doesn't immediately look to sue someone when he does something stupid and hurts himself. We understand that sometimes in the process of doing things we get hurt and we just DEAL WITH IT !



Pass it on...............




lost post

Posted on: August 25 2004 @ 07:13 AM
By: bigred6933

Content:

Attention Visitors



Iowa Tourism Council Bulletin: This list of rules will

be handed to each person as they enter the state.



1. That slope-shouldered farm boy did more work before breakfast than you'll do all week at the gym. How'd you like to go home and tell your momma you got your butt kicked by a big guy in bib overalls?



2. It's called a 'gravel road.' No matter how slow

you drive, you're going to get dust on your BMW. I have a four wheel drive because I need it. Drive it or get it out of the way.



3. We all started hunting and fishing when we were nine years old. Yeah, we saw Bambi. We got over it.



4. Any references to "corn fed" when talking about our women will get your butt kicked...by our women.



5. Go ahead and bring your $600 Orvis Fly Rod. Don't cry to us if a flathead breaks it off at the handle. We have a name for those little 13 inch trout you fish for...bait.



6. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.



7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of mallards are making their final approach, we will shoot it. You might hope you don't have it up To your ear at the time.



8. That's right. Whiskey is only two bucks. We can buy a fifth for what you paid in the airport.



9. The Hawkeye's and the Cyclones are as important here as the Lakers and the Knicks...and a dang sight more fun to watch.



10. No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu. Order steak. Order it rare. Or, you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the two pounds of ham and turkey. Yeah, we have sweet tea. It comes in a glass with two packets of sugar and a long spoon.



11. You bring Coke into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served over ice.



12. So you have a sixty thousand dollar car. We're real impressed. We have quarter of a million dollar combines that we use two weeks a year.



13. Let's get this straight. We have one stoplight in town. We stop when it's red. We may even stop when it's yellow.



14. Our women hunt, fish, and drive trucks-because they want to. So, you're a feminist. Isn't that cute.



15. Yeah, we eat catfish-carp, too-and turtle. You really want sushi and caviar? It's available at the bait shop.



16. They are pigs. That's what they smell like. Get over it. Don't like it? Interstate 80 goes two

ways-35 goes the other two. Pick one.



17. The "Opener" refers to the first day of pheasant season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November. You can get breakfast at the church.



18. So every person in every pick-up waves. It's

called being friendly. Understand the concept?



19. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit in the

water hazards. It spooks the fish.



20. No, we can't shoot the doves. They're song

birds. Okay, even we feel a little stupid about that one.



Now, enjoy your visit and then go home.




lost post

Posted on: August 25 2004 @ 12:04 PM
By: d00buck

Content:

Bigred, AMEN! Cool



BTW-"B-e-e-e-l-c-h" Ah, now that felt good!


lost post

Posted on: August 25 2004 @ 02:56 PM
By: bigred6933

Content:

Billboard you'll never see:


lost post

Posted on: August 25 2004 @ 02:57 PM
By: bigred6933

Content:

and another:


lost post

Posted on: August 25 2004 @ 02:59 PM
By: bigred6933

Content:

and one for the hemp advocates:


lost post

Posted on: August 25 2004 @ 03:00 PM
By: bigred6933

Content:


lost post

Posted on: August 25 2004 @ 03:02 PM
By: bigred6933

Content:

This one reminds me of a former coworker


lost post

Posted on: August 25 2004 @ 03:03 PM
By: bigred6933

Content:

Oh so true:


lost post

Posted on: August 25 2004 @ 03:05 PM
By: bigred6933

Content:

Combine PMS, ESP, and handguns, you get one fo the most frightening business signs imaginable. Eek!




lost post

Posted on: August 26 2004 @ 10:06 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

and we are still lost


lost post

Posted on: August 26 2004 @ 10:22 PM
By: NEIAIceMan

Content:

"A Retrosexual will give up his seat on a bus to not only any women but any elderly person or person in military dress (except 2nd Lt's) NOTE: The person in military dress may turn down the offer but the Retrosexual man will ALWAYS make the offer to them and thank them for serving their country."



Man I love that they make a special exception for me in the rules..



2LT Shane Hunter


lost post

Posted on: August 26 2004 @ 10:44 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Nothing wrong with O-1s, as long as they understand they are just better paid than E-1 and are a work in progress. Had one once that had a date of birth same as my date of rank. ken Msgt ret.


lost post

Posted on: August 26 2004 @ 10:58 PM
By: NEIAIceMan

Content:

I have been on both ends of the spectrum Ken....I was an E before I came over to the darkside....Thats ok though its all in good laugh.



Shane


lost post

Posted on: August 27 2004 @ 12:38 AM
By: bigred6933

Content:

I was a 2LT once myself; life does get better. At least it does as long as Bill Klinton isn't president Rolling Eyes

Mark


lost post

Posted on: August 27 2004 @ 07:00 AM
By: Outdooraddict

Content:

Just remember he did not ,i repeat did not ,have realations with that woman.


lost post

Posted on: August 27 2004 @ 07:38 AM
By: bigred6933

Content:

[QUOTE BY= Outdooraddict] Just remember he did not ,i repeat did not ,have realations with that woman.[/QUOTE]



Rolling Eyes

I had the misfortune of having to sit through a "sex crimes under the UCMJ" briefing down at Fort Benning, GA a few weeks after that POS had been inaugurated. Became a big joke, as people were asking about whether any of that applied to the commander in chief. Even then we knew what a scumbag he was. Let's see, sodomy = 5 years confinement at hard labor at Ft Leavenworth. Sex on gov't property = 5 years confinement at hard labor at Ft Leavenworth. Adultery = 5 years confinement at hard labor at Ft Leavenworth. Those are for EACH COUNT. And remember, the President is the final line of appeal for anybody who does get convicted of that stuff; there are indeed people down at Leavenworth breaking big rocks into little rocks over those particular offenses...

Mark


lost post

Posted on: August 28 2004 @ 09:48 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

A boring saturday evening where is everyone they all have lives sheesh Big Grin


lost post

Posted on: August 28 2004 @ 10:17 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Got my 15KVA generator hooked up this week, ready for Y2K. ken Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: August 28 2004 @ 10:20 PM
By: ejensen

Content:

Been awhile since I posted on here, HI EVERYONE Exclaimation Exclaimation


lost post

Posted on: August 30 2004 @ 07:00 PM
By: bigred6933

Content:

Ladies and Gentlemen, there has been a slight delay in boarding Flight 117...


lost post

Posted on: August 30 2004 @ 07:08 PM
By: bigred6933

Content:

Ole and Lena, a couple of Norwegian kids up in Minnuhssoatah, get married. They are driving along to St Paul for their honeymoon when Ole starts feeling a little frisky and puts his hand on Lena's knee. Lena giggles and says "Ole you can go much farther if you vant to".

So Ole drove on to Duluth.

Mark


lost post

Posted on: August 31 2004 @ 09:25 PM
By: birdslayer31

Content:

Sir, STEP OTTA DA CAR!!!


lost post

Posted on: August 31 2004 @ 09:56 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

de plane de plane


lost post

Posted on: September 01 2004 @ 08:35 AM
By: JeffN

Content:

Roses are red.

Violets are blue

Some poems ryhme.

And others don't . . .



Jeff


lost post

Posted on: September 01 2004 @ 09:42 AM
By: stitch

Content:

How did Hellen Kellers parents punish her?
left the plunger in the toilet
Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive?
cause she was a woman. Laughing Out Loud
I felt the need to contribute to the 133 pages of basically nothing.


lost post

Posted on: September 03 2004 @ 10:53 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

sorry Tony you metioned it Big Grin


lost post

Posted on: September 04 2004 @ 05:40 AM
By: Bigdog

Content:

Gone Fishin'



David



WOW This post has been viewed 15518 times. Long live the Lost Post.


lost post

Posted on: September 04 2004 @ 06:02 AM
By: ejensen

Content:

A redneck farmer got in his pickup and drove several miles to a neighboring farm and knocked on the farmhouse door. A young boy, about 12, opened the door.



"Is yer pa home?" he asked.



"No sir, he sure ain't," the boy replied. "He went to town."



"Well," said the farmer. "Is yer ma home?"



"No, she ain't here either. She went to town with pa."



"Well, then, how about yer brother, Joe, is he here?"



"No sir, he went with pa and ma."



The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other, and mumbling to himself.



"Is there anything I kin do fer ya'?" inquired the young boy politely. "I know where all the tools are, if you want to borry one; Or maybe I could take a message fer pa."



Well," said the farmer uncomfortably, "I really wanted to talk to yer pa. It's about your brother Joe getting my daughter, Pearly Mae, pregnant."



The boy considered for a moment. "You would have to talk to pa about that," he finally conceded. "I know that pa charges $500 for the bull and $250 for the boar hog, but I really don't know how much he gets for Joe."


lost post

Posted on: September 04 2004 @ 08:33 AM
By: Dodger

Content:

This post was at a bad number, if you know what I mean. I hope this now brings it to 667


lost post

Posted on: September 04 2004 @ 08:41 AM
By: deerslayer_pa

Content:

Vive La Lost Post



This sucker has got to make it to 1000 before death IMHO


lost post

Posted on: September 04 2004 @ 09:21 AM
By: Rooster

Content:

Been atleast 3 weeks since I checked this post and to my suprise, it's about the same. But since I'm here I thought i would drop a line . I've done it so now I'm gone.



Rooster


lost post

Posted on: September 04 2004 @ 11:17 AM
By: dtniday

Content:

aarrgghh


lost post

Posted on: September 05 2004 @ 09:51 PM
By: Chuckles

Content:

Does anoyone else like to get in the last word on posts???


lost post

Posted on: September 05 2004 @ 11:12 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Our stone age ancestors deserve more credit. Think of the cunning and strength it took to hunt dinosaurs, the decoys alone weighed 2 tons. Laughing Out Loud


lost post

Posted on: September 05 2004 @ 11:19 PM
By: spinefixer

Content:

[QUOTE BY= kenhump] Our stone age ancestors deserve more credit. Think of the cunnung and strength it took to hunt dinosaurs, the decoys alone weighed 2 tons. Laughing Out Loud [/QUOTE]



Didn't Flambeau make a Carry-lite that only weighed 1/4 ton?



I wonder how far they had to lead the dinos? Twisted Evil


lost post

Posted on: September 05 2004 @ 11:41 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

I believe they could only use a straight walled club. Wink


lost post

Posted on: September 06 2004 @ 10:10 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

here we go again


lost post

Posted on: September 06 2004 @ 10:54 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

With colder weather approaching, remember 'one good turn, gets most of the blanket'. Laughing Out Loud


lost post

Posted on: September 07 2004 @ 12:42 AM
By: deerslayer_pa

Content:

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?



Damned if I know, the ones I saw developed a sudden fatal case of lead poisoning.


lost post

Posted on: September 07 2004 @ 09:58 AM
By: VikeFan

Content:

Save the lost post! Why, I have no idea...


lost post

Posted on: September 07 2004 @ 10:19 AM
By: kenhump

Content:

Most of our future lies ahead. Idea


lost post

Posted on: September 07 2004 @ 10:32 AM
By: eye_fly

Content:

I still have not read this thread and have nothing to add..........




lost post

Posted on: September 07 2004 @ 10:39 AM
By: lunker

Content:

Well here I go. I swore I would not contribute but since the title inspired this brain fart to emerge here it is.



Has anyone else ever noticed that when you are looking for a lost item, it is always found in the last place you look. Rolling Eyes Rolling Eyes Confused Question


lost post

Posted on: September 07 2004 @ 11:48 AM
By: DuckMan

Content:

GO CUBS!!!!!!!!!


lost post

Posted on: September 07 2004 @ 01:08 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Lunker, just buy a replacement and the lost item appears like magic. Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: September 07 2004 @ 07:42 PM
By: MFlan

Content:

Damn, I got fishing and forgot to go drunk on Labor Day


lost post

Posted on: September 07 2004 @ 10:58 PM
By: depo8th

Content:

Time for another



ESCAPED CONVICT







A man escapes from a prison where he had been kept for



15 years. As he runs away, he finds a house and breaks



into it, looking for money and guns, but only finds a



young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and



ties him up in a chair. While tying the girl up to the



bed, he gets on top of her, kisses her on the neck,



then gets up, and goes to the bathroom. While he's in



there, the husband tells his wife, "Listen, this guy



is an escaped prisoner, look at his clothes! He



probably spent lots of time in jail, and hasn't seen a



woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he



wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, just do what



he tells you, just give him satisfaction. This guy



must be dangerous, if he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be



strong, honey. I love you." To which the wife



responds, "He was not kissing my neck. He was



whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought



you were cute, and asked if we kept any Vaseline in



the bathroom. Be strong, honey, I love you, too."




lost post

Posted on: September 07 2004 @ 11:21 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Knew a couple once that had been smoking an alternative fuel source and grab the Vicks by mistake and.......................................... Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: September 07 2004 @ 11:25 PM
By: nanunanu

Content:

[QUOTE BY= kenhump] Knew a couple once that had been smoking an alternative fuel source and grab the Vicks by mistake and.......................................... Mr. Green [/QUOTE]

Great balls of fire!!!!!! Eek!



That's like when the nerds put liquid heat on the jocks in 'Revenge of the Nerds'



Tip: do NOT wash off with hot water!


lost post

Posted on: September 07 2004 @ 11:32 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

"Too much of a good thing, can be GREAT." May West


lost post

Posted on: September 08 2004 @ 12:05 AM
By: nanunanu

Content:

When choosing between two evils, always choose the one you haven't tried yet. Confused - author unknown


lost post

Posted on: September 08 2004 @ 12:37 AM
By: kenhump

Content:

Very good, also May West..ken Big Grin


lost post

Posted on: September 08 2004 @ 12:50 AM
By: nanunanu

Content:

Thats what I was thinking........


lost post

Posted on: September 08 2004 @ 12:53 AM
By: nanunanu

Content:



Another Mae West quote...



Good sex is like good Bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.


lost post

Posted on: September 10 2004 @ 10:02 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

Little bo peep lost her post


lost post

Posted on: September 10 2004 @ 10:13 PM
By: rugerpup

Content:

Senetor Kerry was talking to a grounp of 3rd graders recently, and asked the class if they had any questions for him---



Little Charlie pipes up and asks how come his Wife sent her company over seas and his dad lost his job, and then the bell rang for recess....



30 minutes later the kids come back in and Kerry ask the class if anyone else has a question. Little Johnny in the back pipes up...



Excuse me, MR Kerry, I have three Questions, Why did your wife move her company over seas, why did the bell ring 20 minutes before recess, and what the hell did you do with Charlie???


lost post

Posted on: September 12 2004 @ 08:54 PM
By: banjo50

Content:

GO HAWKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!


lost post

Posted on: September 12 2004 @ 08:55 PM
By: banjo50

Content:

GO HAWKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


lost post

Posted on: September 12 2004 @ 08:55 PM
By: banjo50

Content:

GO HAWWWWWWWWWWWWWKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


lost post

Posted on: September 14 2004 @ 08:58 AM
By: Hazmat

Content:

You guys ain't gonna let this die, are ya??? Looks like the potential for a thousand posts... Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: September 14 2004 @ 11:38 AM
By: DuckMan

Content:

lets see 700


lost post

Posted on: September 14 2004 @ 11:39 AM
By: DuckMan

Content:

O.K. I will do it here is 700. 300 to go to 1000


lost post

Posted on: September 14 2004 @ 12:48 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Signs to make you smile..



On a Septic Tank Truck sign: "We're #1 in the #2 business."



Sign over a Gynecologists office: "Dr. Jones, at your cervix."



At a Proctologists door: "To expedite your visit please back in."



On a Plumbers truck: "We repair what your husband fixed."



On a Plumbers truck: "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."



Pizza shop slogan: "7 days without pizza makes one week."



At a tire shop in Milwaukee: "Invite us to your next blowout."



On a Plastic Surgeons office door: "Hello. Can we pick your nose?"



At a towing company: "We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."

Reminds me of the pink "toe" truck that I saw in Seattle once!



On an electricians truck: "Let us remove your shorts."



In a Nonsmoking Area: "If we see you smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."



On a Maternity Room door: "Push. Push. Push.



At an Optometrist's office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."



On a Taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff."



In a Podiatrists office: "Time wounds all heels."



On a Fence: " Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive."



At a Car Dealership: The best way to get back on your feet- miss a car payment."



Outside a Muffler shop: "No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."



In a Veterinarian's office: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"



At the Electric company: "We would be delighted if you send in your payment. However, if you don't, you will be."



In a Restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry, come on in and get fed up."



In the front yard of a Funeral Home: "Drive carefully. We'll wait."



At a Propane Filling station: "Tank heaven for little grills."



And don't forget the sign at the Radiator Shop: "Best place in town to take a leak." Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: September 14 2004 @ 03:37 PM
By: Rooster

Content:

I came, I saw, I posted, I left.




lost post

Posted on: September 14 2004 @ 04:48 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

just finished reading this...............would have rather gone fishing.


lost post

Posted on: September 17 2004 @ 10:01 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

I found the lost post whew Cool


lost post

Posted on: September 17 2004 @ 10:37 PM
By: Bigdog

Content:

Yeah good thing it didn't get lost.



David


lost post

Posted on: September 17 2004 @ 10:48 PM
By: stitch

Content:

Man, this site really needs a button that'll take you to the last page of a thread.
Oh, and if there is one, some please fill me in, cause getting to the end of this one sucks more everyday.


lost post

Posted on: September 17 2004 @ 10:49 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Kinda hard to 'misplace' something this size. ken Big Grin


lost post

Posted on: September 17 2004 @ 10:56 PM
By: Bigdog

Content:

stitch it does.



Look at the pic of the page in the line of the lost post on the home page. Click the little page icon.



David


lost post

Posted on: September 17 2004 @ 10:57 PM
By: stitch

Content:

Damn I wish I would've known that before, thanks though.


lost post

Posted on: September 17 2004 @ 10:57 PM
By: kenhump

Content:





The Good, Bad, And Ugly



1. Good: Your wife is pregnant.

Bad: It's triplets.

Ugly: You had a vasectomy 5 years ago.



2. Good: Your wife is not talking to you.

Bad: She wants a divorce.

Ugly: She is a Lawyer.



3. Good: Your son is finally maturing.

Bad: He's involved with the woman next door.

Ugly: So are you.



4. Good: Your son studies a lot in his room.

Bad: You find several porn movies hidden there.

Ugly: You're in them.



5. Good: Your hubby and you agree, no more kids.

Bad: You can't find your birth control pills.

Ugly: Your 13 year old daughter borrowed them.



6. Good: Your husband understands fashion.

Bad: He! 's a cross-dresser.

Ugly: He looks better than you.



7. Good: You give the "birds and bees" talk to your daughter.

Bad: She keeps interrupting.

Ugly: With corrections.



8. Good: The postman's early.

Bad: He's wearing fatigues and carrying a gun.

Ugly: You gave him nothing for Christmas.



9. Good: Your son is dating someone new.

Bad: It's another man.

Ugly: He's your best friend.



10. Good: Your daughter got a new job.

Bad: As a hooker.

Ugly: Your co-workers are her best clients.

Way Ugly: She makes more money than you do!


lost post

Posted on: September 17 2004 @ 11:01 PM
By: stitch

Content:

Well crap I feel silly.


lost post

Posted on: September 17 2004 @ 11:40 PM
By: bigred6933

Content:

Don't worry it happens to the best of us.


lost post

Posted on: September 17 2004 @ 11:40 PM
By: VikeFan

Content:

I'm going downtown in IC tonight--should be a good time. Just thought I would check IO before I left. May the ladies be on like the channel cat were in Muscatine! Cool


lost post

Posted on: September 18 2004 @ 01:02 PM
By: ejensen

Content:

If we set the lost post free, do you think it will come back?


lost post

Posted on: September 18 2004 @ 02:04 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

I think it has a life of it's own


lost post

Posted on: September 20 2004 @ 01:28 PM
By: Hazmat

Content:

I dunno...ya spose this thing has enough life left in it to reach 1000 posts???


lost post

Posted on: September 20 2004 @ 02:05 PM
By: Bigdog

Content:

I have to see if I can get to 500 before the lost post hits 1000. Come on 5th star.

Cool



David


lost post

Posted on: September 20 2004 @ 09:34 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

just bump it 80 more times Big Grin


lost post

Posted on: September 21 2004 @ 09:45 PM
By: Bigdog

Content:

Oh $hit,



I lost the lost post and had a buddy help me find it. Whew. Go figure it was under General fishing.



David


lost post

Posted on: September 21 2004 @ 09:47 PM
By: Bigdog

Content:

Maybe we should do a lost and found post?



David


lost post

Posted on: September 21 2004 @ 09:48 PM
By: Bigdog

Content:

Or should I say a lost and found forum?



David


lost post

Posted on: September 21 2004 @ 10:08 PM
By: walleye wisdom

Content:

This takes a rediculous amount of time to get to the end.



My roommate refuses to wash dishes, it's making me mad! Evil


lost post

Posted on: September 21 2004 @ 10:12 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

I found it I found it what did I find Question


lost post

Posted on: September 21 2004 @ 10:17 PM
By: kenhump

Content:





Dear Tech Support:



Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected.



I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!



Thanks,

A Troubled User. (KEEP READING)

______________________________________



REPLY:

Dear Troubled User:



This is a very common problem that men complain about.



Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.



You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under

Warnings-Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.



The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.



Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2.



However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 !



WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.



Best of luck,

Tech Support


lost post

Posted on: September 21 2004 @ 10:59 PM
By: Rooster

Content:

DAM IT!!!!!! I learned something from the lost post (how to get to the last page from the homepage), THE END IS NEAR!!!!




lost post

Posted on: September 22 2004 @ 10:29 AM
By: Hazmat

Content:

naw...it ain't ended yet.


lost post

Posted on: September 23 2004 @ 08:27 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

it'ssssss ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


lost post

Posted on: September 28 2004 @ 09:46 AM
By: VikeFan

Content:

The weather is starting to cool off--the geese are flying. Fall fishing should soon pick up. Whoo hoo!


lost post

Posted on: September 28 2004 @ 09:52 AM
By: Bigdog

Content:

Yep I saw some cormerants (sp) this morning migrating south. Wont' be long now. WOOHOO



David


lost post

Posted on: September 28 2004 @ 09:25 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF... (2004 Version)

Your standard of living improves when you go camping.

Your prenuptial agreement mentions chickens.

You have jacked up your home to look for a dog.

Your neighbor has ever asked to borrow a quart of beer.

There is a belch on your answering machine greeting.

You have rebuilt a carburetor while sitting on the commode.

None of the tires on your van are the same size.

You hold the hood of your car with your head while you work on it.

Your town put the new garbage truck in the Christmas parade.

Your local beauty salon also fixes cars.

Your doghouse and your living room have the same shag carpet.

You've ever slow danced in the Waffle House.

Starting your car involves popping the hood.

Your garbage man is confused about what goes and what stays.

You whistle at women in church.

You actually wear shoes your dog brought home.

You've been in a fistfight at a yard sale.

You carry a fly swatter in the front seat of the car so you can

reach the kids in the backseat.

You think people who have cell phones and e-mail are uppity.

_______________ Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: September 28 2004 @ 09:31 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

here it is


lost post

Posted on: September 28 2004 @ 09:46 PM
By: Bigdog

Content:

Darrin,



Here what is?



David


lost post

Posted on: September 28 2004 @ 09:48 PM
By: Bigdog

Content:

Oh $hit. My post number 444 is that like 66. well you know.????



David


lost post

Posted on: September 28 2004 @ 10:18 PM
By: Mr.Pheasant

Content:

I hate my job...


lost post

Posted on: September 28 2004 @ 11:37 PM
By: fish

Content:

[QUOTE BY= Bigdog] Here what is?

[/QUOTE]



Not for sure on this one, but maybe the lost post. Mr. Green Cool Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: September 29 2004 @ 09:54 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

dooby dooby doo

beware the penguin


lost post

Posted on: September 29 2004 @ 11:13 PM
By: Mr.Pheasant

Content:

Bump


lost post

Posted on: September 29 2004 @ 11:36 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

That's Scooby Dooby Doo, thank you..k Wink


lost post

Posted on: September 30 2004 @ 08:31 AM
By: deerslayer_pa

Content:

Jabberwocky!


lost post

Posted on: October 04 2004 @ 07:04 AM
By: depo8th

Content:

This is an actual letter sent to a man named Ryan De Vries by the Michigan

Department of Environmental Quality, State of Michigan. This guy's response

is hilarious, but read the State's letter before you get to the response

letter.



SUBJECT: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Montcalm County



Dear Mr. DeVries:



It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental Quality that

there has been recent unauthorized activity on the above referenced parcel

of property. You have been certified as the legal landowner and/or

contractor who did the following unauthorized activity:



Construction and maintenance of two wood debris dams across the outlet

stream of Spring Pond. A permit must be issued prior to the start of this

type of activity. A review of the Department's files shows that no permits

have been issued. Therefore, the Department has determined that this

activity is in violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the

Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public

Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Michigan Compiled

Laws, annotated.



The Department has been informed that one or both of the dams partially

failed during a recent rain event, causing debris and flooding at downstream

locations. We find that dams of this nature are inherently hazardous and

cannot be permitted. The Department therefore orders you to cease and desist

all activities at this location, and to restore the stream to a free-flow

condition by removing all wood and brush forming the dams from the stream

channel. All restoration work shall be completed no later than January 31,

2003.



Please notify this office when the restoration has been completed so that a

follow-up site inspection may be scheduled by our staff. Failure to comply

with this request or any further unauthorized activity on the site may

result in this case being referred for elevated enforcement action.



We anticipate and would appreciate your full cooperation in this matter.

Please feel free to contact me at this office if you have any questions.







Sincerely, David L. Price District Representative







Land and Water Management Division







===============







** This is the actual response sent back: **







Re: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Montcalm County.



Dear Mr. Price,



Your certified letter dated 12/17/02 has been handed to me to respond to. I

am the legal landowner but not the Contractor at 2088 Dagget, Pierson,

Michigan. A couple of beavers are in the (State unauthorized) process of

constructing and maintaining two wood "debris" dams across the outlet stream

of my Spring Pond. While I did not pay for, authorize, nor supervise their

dam project, I think they would be highly offended that you call their

skillful use of natures building materials "debris." I would like to

challenge your department to attempt to emulate their dam project any time

and/or any place you choose. I believe I can safely state there is no way

you could ever match their dam skills, their dam resourcefulness, their dam

ingenuity, their dam persistence, their dam determination and/or their dam

work ethic.



As to your request, I do not think the beavers are aware that they must

first fill out a dam permit prior to the start of this type of dam activity.



My dam question to you is (1) are you trying to discriminate against my

Spring Pond Beavers, or (2) do you require all beavers throughout this State

to conform to said dam request? If you are not discriminating against these

particular beavers, through the Freedom of Information Act, I request

completed copies of all those other applicable beaver dam permits that have

been issued. Perhaps we will see if there really is a dam violation of Part

301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental

Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101

to 324.30113 of the Michigan Compiled Laws, annotated.



I have several concerns. My first concern is... aren't the beavers entitled

to legal representation? The Spring Pond Beavers are financially destitute

and are unable to pay for said representation, so the State will have to

provide them with a dam lawyer. The Department's dam concern that either one

or both of the dams failed during a recent rain event causing flooding is

proof that this is a natural occurrence, which the Department is required to

protect. In other words, we should leave the Spring Pond Beavers alone

rather than harassing them and calling their dam names.



If you want the stream "restored" to a dam free-flow condition please

contact the beavers, but if you are going to arrest them, they obviously did

not pay any attention to your dam letter ... they being unable to read

English.



In my humble opinion, the Spring Pond Beavers have a right to build their

unauthorized dams as long as the sky is blue, the grass is green and water

flows downstream. They have more dam rights than I do to live and enjoy

Spring Pond. If the Department of Natural Resources and Environmental

Protection lives up to its name, it should protect the natural resources

(Beavers) and the environment (Beavers' Dams).



So, as far as the beavers and I are concerned, this dam case can be referred

for more elevated enforcement action right now. Why wait until 1/31/2003?

The Spring Pond Beavers may be under the dam ice then and there will be no

way for you or your dam staff to contact/harass them then.



In conclusion, I would like to bring to your attention to a real

environmental quality (health) problem in the area. It is the bears! Bears

are actually defecating in our woods. I definitely believe you should be

persecuting the defecating bears and leave the beavers alone. If you are

going to investigate the beaver dam, watch your step! (The bears are not

careful where they dump!)



Being unable to comply with your dam request, and being unable to contact

you on your dam answering machine, I am sending this response to your dam

office.





Thank you,





Ryan DeVries &The Dam Beavers



"Tomorrow Hopes That We Have Learned Something From Yesterday"










lost post

Posted on: October 04 2004 @ 07:07 AM
By: Bigdog

Content:

WOW only 34 more posts to go to hit my 500 and the BIG 5th star. Can't wait to join the ranks of the 5 Star Generals. Surprised!



David


lost post

Posted on: October 04 2004 @ 02:54 PM
By: Bigdog

Content:

Ok 25 more to go. I want to get to 500 before the Lost Post gets to 1000. Looking good so fart



David.



OOPS Did I make a typo? Rolling Eyes


lost post

Posted on: October 04 2004 @ 03:51 PM
By: NEIAIceMan

Content:

Thanks for Sharing DPO thats some funny stuff.


lost post

Posted on: October 04 2004 @ 03:59 PM
By: Joe

Content:

I thought this Dam post was Dam lost but i guess not dam it! Eek!


lost post

Posted on: October 04 2004 @ 09:28 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

here it is


lost post

Posted on: October 04 2004 @ 10:16 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

why do I read this every time it shows up on the home page Question Question Question Question Question Question Question Question Question The dam thing was kinda funny..


lost post

Posted on: October 04 2004 @ 11:15 PM
By: Rooster

Content:

Just a post to say that I was here.



Rooster


lost post

Posted on: October 05 2004 @ 12:05 AM
By: Bigdog

Content:

Hey Rooster so was I. Now I guess I'll go back to sleep and dream of all the geese I am not going to kill in the morning.



David


lost post

Posted on: October 05 2004 @ 12:57 AM
By: bigboyd

Content:

dam I read it again


lost post

Posted on: October 05 2004 @ 02:04 AM
By: NEIAIceMan

Content:

Post 750 only 250 to go......


lost post

Posted on: October 05 2004 @ 04:29 AM
By: fish

Content:

We all know once this thread gets to 1000, it will end up reaching 2000. Dont underestimate the lost post. It will keep getting bumped some how, and more and more nonsense will pile into it. Lets just make the goal 6000. Hopefully we will all live that long. Hey, maybe we can tell our kids and our kids' kids about the lost post, so it continues on from generation to generation


lost post

Posted on: October 05 2004 @ 04:31 AM
By: fish

Content:

[QUOTE BY= bigboyd] why do I read this every time it shows up on the home page [/QUOTE]



I do it to, and I wonder the same thing Cool


lost post

Posted on: October 05 2004 @ 09:35 AM
By: kenhump

Content:

Florida update'



Gov. Jeb Bush held a special news conference in Tallahassee today to inform the people of Florida of new state symbols. The changes take effect immediately and must be implemented by all official agencies. The changes are as follows:



The Florida State Flag will now be a blue tarp.



The license plate symbol of two oranges will be replaced by a chain saw.



The new State song will be " Blowing in the Wind."



The state motto will now be "Oh my God, Here comes another one."



The new state beverage will be. . . anything with an alcohol base.



The new State tree will be any that are left standing at the end of hurricane season.



The new State Bird will be the "whipper"will.



The new State nickname will be "State of Disaster


lost post

Posted on: October 05 2004 @ 10:40 AM
By: walleye wisdom

Content:

Yeah, only 99 or 98 more for me to hit 500!


lost post

Posted on: October 05 2004 @ 10:49 AM
By: walleye wisdom

Content:

That's a dam funny story!


lost post

Posted on: October 05 2004 @ 10:50 AM
By: NEIAIceMan

Content:

hey only 201 before I reach 500


lost post

Posted on: October 05 2004 @ 10:56 AM
By: deerslayer_pa

Content:

Looks like the Lost Post is going to make the Energizer Bunny look like a Piker.



Lets just make the goal 6000. Hopefully we will all live that long




Naa, gotta go for 10,000 at least. By then just think of the lies we'll be telling each other on here from our nursing home beds. Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: October 05 2004 @ 01:42 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

"The beatings will continue until morale improves!" Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: October 05 2004 @ 01:58 PM
By: Tony

Content:

Here I sit, broken hearted...wanted to talk hunting and fishing...but only farted.



I'm amazed that this thing won't die. Wonder how long you guys will keep this thing going. Might stay alive longer than the Olympic Torch.



--Tony


lost post

Posted on: October 05 2004 @ 02:03 PM
By: walleye wisdom

Content:

You know you just posted that Tony to help keep it alive. You are included in the phrase "you guys"!


lost post

Posted on: October 05 2004 @ 02:50 PM
By: Bigdog

Content:

Hey Tony welcome to the "you guy's" group. Oh yeah and only 19 more posts for me to Hit the BIG 500. Eek!



David


lost post

Posted on: October 05 2004 @ 02:51 PM
By: Bigdog

Content:

Hey Walleye Wisdom I'll race you to 500. Ready Set GO

Rolling Eyes



David



18


lost post

Posted on: October 05 2004 @ 02:51 PM
By: Hazmat

Content:

Uh oh...seems progress to a grand is slowing drastically...gotta help it out.


lost post

Posted on: October 05 2004 @ 02:58 PM
By: walleye wisdom

Content:

Damn, i'm a huge underdog here.


lost post

Posted on: October 05 2004 @ 02:58 PM
By: walleye wisdom

Content:

i'm


lost post

Posted on: October 05 2004 @ 02:59 PM
By: walleye wisdom

Content:

trying


lost post

Posted on: October 05 2004 @ 02:59 PM
By: walleye wisdom

Content:

my


lost post

Posted on: October 05 2004 @ 02:59 PM
By: walleye wisdom

Content:

hardest!!! Angry


lost post

Posted on: October 05 2004 @ 03:12 PM
By: Bigdog

Content:

OK


lost post

Posted on: October 05 2004 @ 03:13 PM
By: Bigdog

Content:

SO


lost post

Posted on: October 05 2004 @ 03:13 PM
By: Bigdog

Content:

AM


lost post

Posted on: October 05 2004 @ 03:14 PM
By: Bigdog

Content:

I



OK now only 10 to go and I promise I won't waste them. Eek! Rolling Eyes Laughing Out Loud



David


lost post

Posted on: October 05 2004 @ 03:34 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

dam I read it agin


lost post

Posted on: October 05 2004 @ 03:34 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

got three stars now


lost post

Posted on: October 05 2004 @ 03:36 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

how many more till I get 4


lost post

Posted on: October 05 2004 @ 03:37 PM
By: Bigdog

Content:

Good for you Bigboyd. Keep it up and you will hit the big 5 in about 385 more posts. Laughing Out Loud



David



Come on 500 Razz


lost post

Posted on: October 05 2004 @ 03:38 PM
By: Bigdog

Content:

You will hit 4 at 250. Long wait from there to 500> Oh boy I"m almost there. WOOHOO Rolling Eyes



David


lost post

Posted on: October 05 2004 @ 03:48 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

383 to hit 5 stars. I have a goal in life now


lost post

Posted on: October 05 2004 @ 03:49 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

I am drinking milk now so when I get to 500 I will have strong bones


lost post

Posted on: October 05 2004 @ 03:50 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

and healthy teeth


lost post

Posted on: October 05 2004 @ 04:58 PM
By: WallBuckEye

Content:

Hi, I am WallBuckEye, and I am a lostpostaholic

This is hard for me to admit. It's nice to have this forum for support. Thanks people.


lost post

Posted on: October 05 2004 @ 05:10 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

HI WallBuckEye!!


lost post

Posted on: October 05 2004 @ 05:11 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

We are here for you man.


lost post

Posted on: October 05 2004 @ 07:55 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

I cant believe that I just wasted my time and read this thing from the start. it was light out when I started, Now it isn't Confused

I can't believe that I have added to this post.


lost post

Posted on: October 05 2004 @ 08:48 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

I am a lost postaholic, it has been 2 days since I last posted, darn it did it again


lost post

Posted on: October 05 2004 @ 09:36 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Understanding Engineers - Take One

Two engineering students crossing the campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want." The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."



- Understanding Engineers - Take Two

To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.



- Understanding Engineers - Take Three

A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!" The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!" The pastor said, "Hey,here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him." "Hi George! say, what's with that group ahead of us?

They're rather slow, aren't they?" The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind firefighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime." The group was silent for a moment. The pastor said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight." The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them." The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"



- Understanding Engineers - Take Four

What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?

Mechanical Engineers build weapons and Civil Engineers build targets.



- Understanding Engineers - Take Five

The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with an Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"



- Understanding Engineers - Take Six

Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer." Just look at all the joints." Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections." The last one said, "Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic

waste pipeline through a recreational area?"



- Understanding Engineers - Take Seven

"Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet"



- Understanding Engineers - Take Eight

An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship. The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because the passion and mystery he found there. The engineer said, "I like both." "Both?" "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the lab and get some work done."



- Understanding Engineers - Take Nine



An engineer was crossing a road one-day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want." Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter?

I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, and that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool. Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: October 05 2004 @ 11:01 PM
By: fish

Content:

Good one ken Laughing Out Loud

The first step is acceptance in becoming a recovering lostpostaholic, but once a lostpostaholic, always a lostpostaholic is what I always say.


lost post

Posted on: October 05 2004 @ 11:10 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

I think that I am in denial.


lost post

Posted on: October 05 2004 @ 11:12 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

but by admitting that I am in denial........Isn't that the first step.


lost post

Posted on: October 05 2004 @ 11:14 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

what are the next 11 steps Question







Why cant I sleep Confused


lost post

Posted on: October 05 2004 @ 11:21 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

"Those who beat their swords into plowshares usually end up plowing for those who didn't" -Anon- Wink


lost post

Posted on: October 05 2004 @ 11:30 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

I might just be tired But Question Question Question Question Question


lost post

Posted on: October 05 2004 @ 11:33 PM
By: fish

Content:

I think it goes something like this boyd,



1. We admitted we were powerless over the lost post


lost post

Posted on: October 05 2004 @ 11:44 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

How long will it take to get done with these steps and get on with my life?


lost post

Posted on: October 06 2004 @ 12:05 AM
By: kenhump

Content:

[QUOTE BY= bigboyd] I think that I am in denial.[/QUOTE]

bb, your confused, de-nial is in Egypt, I think your in Iowa. nite..ken Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: October 06 2004 @ 12:24 AM
By: fish

Content:

[QUOTE BY= bigboyd] How long will it take to get done with these steps and get on with my life?[/QUOTE]



Well, I still havent finished them, but I got on my with my life! Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: October 06 2004 @ 12:32 AM
By: bigboyd

Content:

CANT SLEEP ..................lost post keeping me up................................................de nile.........blaze orange crocks...........12 step programs........................I don't think we are in Kansas anymore Toto..................... Eek!


lost post

Posted on: October 06 2004 @ 08:28 AM
By: Bigdog

Content:

Ok counting down now only 5 more posts to go. Come on 5th star.



David


lost post

Posted on: October 06 2004 @ 10:17 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

de plane de plane


lost post

Posted on: October 06 2004 @ 10:47 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

800!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


lost post

Posted on: October 06 2004 @ 11:35 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

good night lost post. It is alive isn't it? Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: October 07 2004 @ 06:47 AM
By: bigred6933

Content:

IT'S ALIVE!!! Mr. Green Mr. Green Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: October 07 2004 @ 08:28 AM
By: Hazmat

Content:

Wow...it may make a grand after all...but what's the point? Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: October 07 2004 @ 09:24 AM
By: Bigdog

Content:

Hazmat,



The point is the lost post will never die.



David


lost post

Posted on: October 07 2004 @ 09:28 AM
By: Bigdog

Content:

Hazmat,



The point is the lost post will never die.



David


lost post

Posted on: October 07 2004 @ 10:28 AM
By: river

Content:



KNOCK-KNOCK


lost post

Posted on: October 07 2004 @ 11:55 AM
By: bigboyd

Content:

who is there


lost post

Posted on: October 08 2004 @ 09:38 AM
By: NEIAIceMan

Content:

HA HA HA


lost post

Posted on: October 08 2004 @ 09:41 AM
By: d00buck

Content:

Bump who?


lost post

Posted on: October 08 2004 @ 10:04 AM
By: NEIAIceMan

Content:

Bump?? Dale have you been messing with the whacky weed lately?? J/k buddy


lost post

Posted on: October 08 2004 @ 10:16 AM
By: d00buck

Content:

Rolling Eyes


lost post

Posted on: October 08 2004 @ 10:17 AM
By: Chambdog

Content:

It will never go away.


lost post

Posted on: October 08 2004 @ 11:37 AM
By: bigboyd

Content:

I here voices........it's back


lost post

Posted on: October 10 2004 @ 09:29 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

I see lost posts


lost post

Posted on: October 10 2004 @ 09:40 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

> A man walks into Fredrick's of Hollywood to purchase some sheer lingerie

> for his wife. He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to

> $500 in price, the sheerer, the higher the price. He opts for the

sheerest

> item, pays the $500 and takes the lingerie home.

>

> He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on and

> model it for him. Upstairs, the wife thinks, "I have an idea. It's so

> sheer that it might as well be nothing. I won't put it on, do the

modeling

> naked, return it tomorrow and keep the $500 refund for myself."

>

> So she appears naked on the balcony and strikes a pose. The husband says,

> "Good Lord! You'd think that for $500, they'd at least iron it!"

>

> He never heard the shot.

>

> Funeral services are pending. Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: October 10 2004 @ 10:32 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

Laughing Out Loud Laughing Out Loud


lost post

Posted on: October 12 2004 @ 10:10 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Iwo Jima, If Covered By Media Today



Battlefields are no place for political correctness



By Zell Miller



What if today's reporters had covered the Marines landing on Iwo Jima, a small island in the far away Pacific Ocean, in the same way they're covering the war in Iraq? Here's how it might have looked:



DAY 1



With the aid of satellite technology, Cutie Cudley interviews Marine Pfc. John Doe, who earlier came ashore with 30,000 other Marines.



Cutie: "John, we have been told by the administration that this island has great strategic importance because if you're successful, it could become a fueling stop for our bombers on the way to Japan. But, as you know, we can't be sure this is the truth. What do you think?"



Pfc. Doe: "Well, I've been pinned down by enemy fire almost ever since I got here and have had a couple of buddies killed right beside me. I'm a Marine and I go where they send me. One thing's for sure, they are putting up a fight not to give up this island."



Cutie: "Our military analysts tell us that the Japanese are holed up in caves and miles of connecting tunnels they've built over the years. How will you ever get them out?"



Pfc. Doe: "With flame throwers, ma'am."



Cutie (incredulously): "Flame throwers? You'll burn them alive?"



Pfc. Doe: "Yes ma'am, we'll fry their asses. Excuse me, I shouldn't have said that on TV."



Cutie (audible gasp): "How horrible!"



Pfc. Doe (obviously wanting to move on): "We're at war ma'am."



(A Marine sergeant watching nearby yells, "Ask her what does she want us to do


lost post

Posted on: October 12 2004 @ 10:30 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

what can a guy say after reading that.


lost post

Posted on: October 12 2004 @ 10:46 PM
By: 375hnh

Content:

huh?


lost post

Posted on: October 12 2004 @ 11:59 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Less than 1500 hits to 20K.... Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: October 13 2004 @ 12:09 AM
By: NEIAIceMan

Content:

I think Ken gets the award for the longest post on this thread but I do have to say that I have enjoyed everyone of them. Thanks Ken....That last one was especially true.



Shane


lost post

Posted on: October 13 2004 @ 12:22 AM
By: deerslayer_pa

Content:

Ken,



You make it hard to make a wise a&& remark to keep the Lost Post going after reading the Iwo Jima if covered by the media today post. Thanks for posting it though, it was a good read. Makes you shudder to think of how D-Day would have been reported by todays media.



Dave


lost post

Posted on: October 13 2004 @ 12:26 AM
By: NEIAIceMan

Content:

Sad thing that our society has slipped in to such a yippee liberal society and if the current polls reflect anything watch out because the slide will continue at a greater pace.



Shane


lost post

Posted on: October 13 2004 @ 12:30 AM
By: kenhump

Content:

Sorry guys, let me fix it. ken



Subject: air disaster



Poland's worst air disaster occurred today when a small 2-seater plane crashed into a cemetery this morning. Polish search and rescue workers

have recovered 826 bodies so far and expect that the number will climb as the digging continues into the night.



Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: October 13 2004 @ 12:37 AM
By: kenhump

Content:

A couple of UN hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground.

He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head.

The other guy whips out his cell phone and

calls 911.

He gasps to the operator, "My friend is dead!

What can I do?

The operator, in a calm soothing voice says,

"Just take it easy. I can help. First, lets make sure he's dead."

..........................



There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The Husker hunter's voice comes back on the

line, "OK, now what?"


lost post

Posted on: October 13 2004 @ 12:39 AM
By: deerslayer_pa

Content:

Ken,



Polish Space mission:



At a meeting of Astrophysists from around the globe, the fledgling Polish Space Agency announced they would be the first country to send men to the Sun. When riduculed for such a notion, since the Polish Astronauts would burn up long before reaching the sun they were told. The Polish Space Agency proudly announced they had the solution to that problem, they would send their Astronauts at night.


lost post

Posted on: October 13 2004 @ 10:06 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

and it floats back up to the top.


lost post

Posted on: October 13 2004 @ 10:17 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Fahnstocks' Law: Any issue worth debating is worth avoiding altogether. ken


lost post

Posted on: October 13 2004 @ 10:31 PM
By: Mr.Pheasant

Content:

Why is this the only thread I really want to post on, but never know what to say?


lost post

Posted on: October 13 2004 @ 10:42 PM
By: Rooster

Content:

this thread has been viewed 18700 times as of 10:32 pm 10-13-04.



We all need a hobbie. Other than looking at the lost post.

Rooster


lost post

Posted on: October 13 2004 @ 10:49 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

It's back. Or did it never leave?????????


lost post

Posted on: October 13 2004 @ 10:50 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Weiner's Law of Libraries: "There are no answers, only cross-references." Confused


lost post

Posted on: October 13 2004 @ 10:56 PM
By: Mr.Pheasant

Content:

I can't get enough of this Thread. This post and I need some alone time....


lost post

Posted on: October 13 2004 @ 11:07 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Take care for your eyesight Mr. P..ken Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: October 13 2004 @ 11:12 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Murphy's Law: If anything can go wrong, it will.

O'Toole's Commentary: Murphy was an optimist.


lost post

Posted on: October 13 2004 @ 11:42 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

and yet I still read. Laughing Out Loud


lost post

Posted on: October 13 2004 @ 11:45 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

I got 4 stars.


lost post

Posted on: October 13 2004 @ 11:46 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

How did I do that?


lost post

Posted on: October 13 2004 @ 11:48 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

I thought that I had to have 250 to get 4 stars.


lost post

Posted on: October 13 2004 @ 11:50 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

Thank you lost post.


lost post

Posted on: October 13 2004 @ 11:52 PM
By: d00buck

Content:

Boyd, can't remember for sure, but I think the extra stars come at 50/100/200/500. It's been a while!


lost post

Posted on: October 14 2004 @ 12:03 AM
By: bigboyd

Content:

I will get my 5th star some day


lost post

Posted on: October 14 2004 @ 12:05 AM
By: bigboyd

Content:

maybe a li'l quicker if this lost post stays around


lost post

Posted on: October 14 2004 @ 12:23 AM
By: Rooster

Content:

Dale,

I'm comin after ya. Less than a hundred posts to go.



Rooster


lost post

Posted on: October 14 2004 @ 12:30 AM
By: kenhump

Content:

One for Chris

Phillips' Law:

Four-wheel-drive just means getting stuck

in more inaccessible places.


lost post

Posted on: October 14 2004 @ 01:50 AM
By: Mr.Pheasant

Content:

Here it is.... another late night.... I keep coming back. It feels like a forbidden love. For some reason, it feels wrong, but it feels SOOOO right.


lost post

Posted on: October 15 2004 @ 09:32 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

here I come again


lost post

Posted on: October 15 2004 @ 09:52 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Murphy's Law, vol I.

Commoner's second Law of Ecology:

"Nothing ever goes away."


lost post

Posted on: October 15 2004 @ 11:44 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

I think that there should be a 6th star, for people who don't post on the lost post. Confused


lost post

Posted on: October 16 2004 @ 06:37 AM
By: bigred6933

Content:

[QUOTE BY= kenhump] One for Chris

Phillips' Law:

Four-wheel-drive just means getting stuck

in more inaccessible places.[/QUOTE]



I always liked Pat McManus's definition of four wheel drive: "A fine tool for getting you out of places you never should have been in the first place". Wink

Mark


lost post

Posted on: October 16 2004 @ 11:17 AM
By: fish

Content:

What did the two chinese people name their mentally disabled baby?


lost post

Posted on: October 16 2004 @ 11:18 AM
By: fish

Content:

Sum Ting Wong.


lost post

Posted on: October 16 2004 @ 12:11 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

Laughing Out Loud Laughing Out Loud Laughing Out Loud


lost post

Posted on: October 16 2004 @ 07:17 PM
By: ejensen

Content:

Just wanted to bring it back to the top Exclaimation Rolling Eyes


lost post

Posted on: October 16 2004 @ 08:56 PM
By: Mr.Flathead1

Content:

Are you done yet? Confused


lost post

Posted on: October 16 2004 @ 09:15 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

hi ho silver away


lost post

Posted on: October 17 2004 @ 01:46 AM
By: bigboyd

Content:

found it


lost post

Posted on: October 17 2004 @ 10:12 AM
By: ejensen

Content:

The cream always rises to the top. Laughing Out Loud


lost post

Posted on: October 17 2004 @ 10:15 AM
By: Bigdog

Content:

Long live the lost post.



David



Oh yeah I'm going fishing. The duck hunting sucked.


lost post

Posted on: October 17 2004 @ 09:39 PM
By: Rooster

Content:

bump


lost post

Posted on: October 17 2004 @ 10:26 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Newton's littlt-known seventh law:

A bird in the hand is safer than one overhead.


lost post

Posted on: October 18 2004 @ 08:35 AM
By: kenhump

Content:

Who will be the 20,000th viewer? Question


lost post

Posted on: October 18 2004 @ 08:54 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Rooster, we can do the political thing here, looks like you, Darrin and I are the only readers of the LOST POST. ken


lost post

Posted on: October 18 2004 @ 08:56 PM
By: Rooster

Content:

NOOOOOOOOOO, no politics on the lost post. Thats how it got locked before.



Rooster keeper of the Lost Post


lost post

Posted on: October 18 2004 @ 09:03 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

OK, don't panic. We could discuss things that are tough, if not dam well impossible to do with a broke arm. Now when I got my right arm broke 3 years ago, it was very hard to .............................. Twisted Evil


lost post

Posted on: October 18 2004 @ 09:39 PM
By: Rooster

Content:

Hard to what? You must have got interupted, I look forward to hearing the end of this topic. Twisted Evil



Rooster


lost post

Posted on: October 18 2004 @ 11:17 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Well for starters, I couldn't comb my hair. Laughing Out Loud


lost post

Posted on: October 18 2004 @ 11:21 PM
By: Rooster

Content:

Ahh, thats what I was thinking.



Rooster


lost post

Posted on: October 19 2004 @ 12:29 AM
By: bigred6933

Content:

How do you know a blonde has been using your computer?

White-out on the screen. Mr. Green Evil

Mark


lost post

Posted on: October 19 2004 @ 12:44 AM
By: fish

Content:

A blind man enters a Lesbian bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a drink. After sitting there for a while the blind guy yells to the bartender: "Hey, wanna hear a blonde joke?' A deathly

silence transcends the bar. In a deep, husky, menacing voice, the woman next to him says: "Before you tell that joke, you should know something. The bartender is blonde, the bouncer is blonde, and I'm a 6' tall, 200lb blonde with a

black belt in Karate. What's more, the woman sitting next to me is blonde and she's a weight lifter. The lady to your right is a blonde and she's a pro wrestler. Think about it seriously, Mister. You still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind man pauses to think, and says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."


lost post

Posted on: October 19 2004 @ 12:53 AM
By: fish

Content:

John Kerry was out jogging one morning along the parkway when he tripped, fell over the bridge railing and landed in the creek below.



Before his guys could get to him, three kids, who were fishing, pulled him out of the water. He was so grateful he offered the kids whatever they wanted.



The first kid said: "I sure would like to go to Disneyland." Kerry said: "No problem. I'll take you there personally."



The second kid said: "I really need a new pair of Nike Air Jordan's." Kerry said: "I'll get them for you and even have Michael sign them!".



The third kid said: "I want a motorized wheelchair with a built-in TV and stereo headset!!" Kerry is a little perplexed by this and says: "But you don't look like you are injured."



The kid says: "But I will be after my dad finds out I saved your ass from drowning!"



Mr. Green Laughing Out Loud Cool


lost post

Posted on: October 19 2004 @ 04:38 AM
By: bigboyd

Content:

Now thats funny


lost post

Posted on: October 19 2004 @ 10:02 AM
By: bubbathehuntr

Content:

My favorite John Kerry joke that I have heard so far:



John Kerry walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?"


lost post

Posted on: October 19 2004 @ 10:55 AM
By: DuckMan

Content:

Did you hear about the blonde that walked into the bar?





It hurt Laughing Out Loud Laughing Out Loud Laughing Out Loud


lost post

Posted on: October 19 2004 @ 11:07 AM
By: colbyjack

Content:

LOL you guys crack me up. thanks ken. -chris


lost post

Posted on: October 19 2004 @ 01:17 PM
By: bigred6933

Content:

Due to increasing products liability litigation, beer manufacturers have

accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed

immediately on all beer containers:

1.. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering

when you are not.

2.. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an

a**hole.

3.. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring

story over and over again.

4.. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like

thish.

5.. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers

are really dying for you to telephone them at 4:00am.

6.. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell

happened to your pants.

7.. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically

converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.

8.. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical

Kung Fu powers.

9.. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the

morning and see something really scary -- whose species and or name you

can't remember.

10.. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable

rug burns on the forehead.

11.. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are

tougher, smarter and more handsome than some really, really big guy named

Arnold.

12.. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are

invisible.

13.. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are

laughing with you.

14.. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the time-space

continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to

literally disappear.

15.. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.


lost post

Posted on: October 19 2004 @ 01:22 PM
By: bigred6933

Content:

HI TECH AT ITS BEST...



A cowboy was herding his cattle in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"



The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure. Why not?"



The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects his AT&T cell phone, surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany.



Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with hundreds of complex formulae. He uploads all of this data via an email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.



Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1586 cows and calves."



"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says the cowboy. He watches the young man selects one of the animals and looks on, amused, as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.



Then the cowboy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"



The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"



"You're a Democratic consultant" says the cowboy.



"Wow!!! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"



"No guessing required," answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked; and you don't know anything about my business..."



"...now give me back my dog!"




lost post

Posted on: October 19 2004 @ 10:04 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

hey Ken I'm still reading just been gone for a while go rooster go rooster Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: October 19 2004 @ 10:12 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

True bravery is arriving home late after a boys' night out, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and still having the guts to ask --





Are you cleaning, or were you flying somewhere?


lost post

Posted on: October 19 2004 @ 10:15 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

> > > If diamonds are a girl's best friend and a

> > > dog is man's best friend,

> > > who really is the dumber sex?


lost post

Posted on: October 19 2004 @ 10:38 PM
By: Rooster

Content:

Ken you pose an interesting question. I am going to go with men because I have never had to pick up diamond shit before.



Rooster


lost post

Posted on: October 19 2004 @ 10:49 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Business owner in Ames was confused about the discount he was recieving on an invoice. He asked his Secretary "Darla, you went to the University of Iowa, if I gave you $23,700 minus 20% how much would you take off?" Darla, being a University Graduate, proudly replied; "everything but my earrings sir?"


lost post

Posted on: October 20 2004 @ 10:01 AM
By: Rooster

Content:

A couple goes on vacation to a fishing resort in northern Minnesota. The husband likes to fish at the crack of dawn. The wife likes to read. One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and continues to read her book. Along comes a game warden in his boat.



He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning Ma'am. What are you doing?"



"Reading a book," she replies, (thinking "isn't that obvious?")



"You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her.



"I'm sorry officer, but I'm not fishing, I'm reading."



"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."



"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman.



"But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden.



"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."



"Have a nice day ma'am", and he left.............



MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.


lost post

Posted on: October 20 2004 @ 10:21 AM
By: scruffy

Content:

I just looked up into the sky

when a bird dropped whitewash in my eye

I did not weep

I did not cry

I just thanked God that cows can't fly.



later,

scruffy


lost post

Posted on: October 20 2004 @ 05:24 PM
By: WallBuckEye

Content:

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdgnieg.



The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer inwaht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling was ipmorantt!




lost post

Posted on: October 20 2004 @ 05:39 PM
By: Rooster

Content:

WlalBuluceye,



Taht is a vrey itnertsing psot. It's hraedr to tpye it tahn it is to raed it. Big Grin



Rosoetr


lost post

Posted on: October 20 2004 @ 10:22 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

here I come to save the day


lost post

Posted on: October 20 2004 @ 10:45 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

How many apply????????Stitch is allowed help here.





YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF... (2004 Version)

Your standard of living improves when you go camping.

Your prenuptial agreement mentions chickens.

You have jacked up your home to look for a dog.

Your neighbor has ever asked to borrow a quart of beer.

There is a belch on your answering machine greeting.

You have rebuilt a carburetor while sitting on the commode.

None of the tires on your van are the same size.

You hold the hood of your car with your head while you work on it.

Your town put the new garbage truck in the Christmas parade.

Your local beauty salon also fixes cars.

Your doghouse and your living room have the same shag carpet.

You've ever slow danced in the Waffle House.

Starting your car involves popping the hood.

Your garbage man is confused about what goes and what stays.

You whistle at women in church.

You actually wear shoes your dog brought home.

You've been in a fistfight at a yard sale.

You carry a fly swatter in the front seat of the car so you can

reach the kids in the backseat.

You think people who have cell phones and e-mail are uppity.

Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: October 20 2004 @ 11:14 PM
By: bigred6933

Content:

I've stripped and cleaned my 1911 while sitting on the commode, does that count?

Mark


lost post

Posted on: October 20 2004 @ 11:23 PM
By: bigred6933

Content:


lost post

Posted on: October 21 2004 @ 12:49 AM
By: bigboyd

Content:

haven't been here for a day or two, thought that I would just say hello


lost post

Posted on: October 21 2004 @ 12:52 AM
By: bigboyd

Content:

Hello again.


lost post

Posted on: October 21 2004 @ 12:55 AM
By: Rooster

Content:

Two posts saying "hello"?? Now your just talking to yourself.



Rooster


lost post

Posted on: October 21 2004 @ 01:03 AM
By: bigboyd

Content:

yes I am. LOL it is 12:45 and I have to go fill the grain dryer yet. Frown


lost post

Posted on: October 21 2004 @ 02:13 AM
By: Mr.Pheasant

Content:

I feel lonely right now. I thought I would seek solace in the lost post.... if only it could hold me.


lost post

Posted on: October 21 2004 @ 01:45 PM
By: bigred6933

Content:

It's that time of year...


lost post

Posted on: October 21 2004 @ 01:46 PM
By: bigred6933

Content:

Guns don't kill pumpkins...


lost post

Posted on: October 21 2004 @ 01:47 PM
By: bigred6933

Content:

As Paul Harvey keeps saying, it's not one world...


lost post

Posted on: October 21 2004 @ 01:50 PM
By: bigred6933

Content:

Bullfighting in France...


lost post

Posted on: October 21 2004 @ 01:53 PM
By: timbuck2

Content:

I am glad you found this post. I lost it.



tim


lost post

Posted on: October 21 2004 @ 03:49 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Don't feel bad Tim, I lost it once too but nobody was badly injured. Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: October 21 2004 @ 09:19 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

> WHY DOGS ARE BETTER THAN WIVES

> 01. The later you are, the more excited they are to see you.

> 02. Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.

> 03. If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it.

> 04. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.

> 05. A dog's disposition stays the same all month long.

> 06. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.

> 07. A dog's parents never visit.

> 08. Dogs do not hate their bodies.

> 09. Dogs agree you have to raise your voice to get your point across.

> 10. Dogs do their snooping outside rather than in your wallet or desk.

> 11. Dogs seldom outlive you.

> 12. Dogs can't talk.

> 13. Dogs enjoy petting in public.

> 14. You never have to wait for a dog; they're ready to go 24-hours a

day

> 15. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.

> 16. Dogs like to go hunting.

> 17. Another man will seldom steal your dog.

> 18. If you bring another dog home, your dog will happily play with

both of you.

> 19. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, "If I died would you

get another dog?"

> 20. If you pretend to be blind, your dog can stay in your hotel room

for free.

> 21. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them

> away.

> 22. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you

a pervert..

> 23. A dog won't hold out on you to get a new car.

> 24. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad, they just

> think it's interesting.

> 25. On a car trip, your dog never insists on running the heater.

> 26. Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their lives.

> 27. When your dog gets old, you can have it put to sleep.

> 28. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck.

> 29. Dogs are not allowed in Bloomingdale's or Neiman-Marcus.

> 30. If a dog leaves, it won't take half your stuff


lost post

Posted on: October 21 2004 @ 10:27 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

An 80 year old couple were having problems remembering things, so they decided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothing was wrong with them.

When they arrived at the doctor's, they explained to the doctor about the problems they were having with their memory. After checking the couple out, the doctor tells them that they were physically okay but might want to start writing things down and make notes to help them remember things.



The couple thanked the doctor and left.Later that night while watching TV, the old man got up from his chair and his wife asks, "Where are you going?"



He replies, "To the kitchen."She asks, "Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?"



He replies, "Sure." She then asks him, "Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?"



He says, "No, I can remember that." She then says, "Well I also would like some strawberries on top. You had better write that down cause I know you'll forget that."



He says, "I can remember that, you want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries." She replies, "Well I also would like whip cream on top. I know you will forget that so you better write it down."



With irritation in his voice, he says, "I don't need to write that down I can remember that." He then fumes into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes he returns from the kitchen and hands her a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment and says, "You forgot my toast."


lost post

Posted on: October 21 2004 @ 10:30 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

I like dogs.


lost post

Posted on: October 22 2004 @ 01:23 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Rooster, shouldn't you be out lookin for somthin 2 shoot? Razz


lost post

Posted on: October 22 2004 @ 01:25 PM
By: Rooster

Content:

Ahh, home sweey home. The lost post is very comforting.



I'm going to Scheel's first for some scent control. Deer got to get closer than 200 yards for a shot. Cry



Rooster


lost post

Posted on: October 22 2004 @ 01:32 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

RightGard ain't bad for scent control, shower helps 2. Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: October 22 2004 @ 01:40 PM
By: timbuck2

Content:

working


lost post

Posted on: October 22 2004 @ 01:40 PM
By: timbuck2

Content:

my


lost post

Posted on: October 22 2004 @ 01:41 PM
By: timbuck2

Content:

way


lost post

Posted on: October 22 2004 @ 01:41 PM
By: timbuck2

Content:

to


lost post

Posted on: October 22 2004 @ 01:42 PM
By: timbuck2

Content:

one


lost post

Posted on: October 22 2004 @ 01:42 PM
By: timbuck2

Content:

hundred


lost post

Posted on: October 22 2004 @ 01:42 PM
By: timbuck2

Content:

posts


lost post

Posted on: October 22 2004 @ 01:43 PM
By: timbuck2

Content:

on this site so I can get my next star. Laughing Out Loud


lost post

Posted on: October 22 2004 @ 02:09 PM
By: DuckMan

Content:

and the beat goes on


lost post

Posted on: October 22 2004 @ 02:34 PM
By: scruffy

Content:

duckman, nice quote on your signature. I'll remember it!!!



later,

scruffy


lost post

Posted on: October 22 2004 @ 08:04 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Homicide, n. The slaying of one human being by another. There are four kinds of homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable and praiseworthy, but it makes no great difference to the person slain whether he fell by one kind or another


lost post

Posted on: October 22 2004 @ 08:15 PM
By: Fishiingramps

Content:

Ya know, up to this point I have purposely avoided this rediculious post just as a matter of principle. But now, that Tony has wished the death of this post and it is a bit of an agrivation to him, I feel it is my duty to add to it just so he knows that we are here and very much appreciate him. WE LOVE YA MAN!!



Gramps


lost post

Posted on: October 22 2004 @ 08:59 PM
By: Rooster

Content:

fishingramps,

When did Tony wish for the death of this thread?



Duckman,

I use to have the same quote. kinda makes you think. I would have kept it but found out that it is not a real quote. There is a bumpersticker saying that at cheaperthandirt.com



Rooster




lost post

Posted on: October 22 2004 @ 09:16 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Tony put out a hit on 'The Lost Post'? Frown


lost post

Posted on: October 22 2004 @ 09:21 PM
By: Rooster

Content:

I will volunteer for lost post security. Keepin it alive no matter what. Big Grin



Rooster


lost post

Posted on: October 22 2004 @ 09:25 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Back to back, we'll hold'm off. Wink


lost post

Posted on: October 22 2004 @ 09:47 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

I am here with ya


lost post

Posted on: October 22 2004 @ 09:49 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

Wink


lost post

Posted on: October 22 2004 @ 10:11 PM
By: Rooster

Content:

Only 74 to go until 1000, it will never die.



Rooster Lost Post Defender


lost post

Posted on: October 22 2004 @ 10:55 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

to infinity and beyond


lost post

Posted on: October 22 2004 @ 10:56 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

and maybe even further


lost post

Posted on: October 22 2004 @ 10:57 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

I like the lost post it is my daily stress reliever


lost post

Posted on: October 23 2004 @ 01:08 PM
By: Rooster

Content:

With all the recent political talk I thought I would bring back a thread that is actually constructive.







Rooster


lost post

Posted on: October 23 2004 @ 01:15 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

108 more views to hit 20,000.

Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: October 23 2004 @ 05:19 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. --Groucho Marx


lost post

Posted on: October 23 2004 @ 08:55 PM
By: bigjake

Content:



Is this another anti-Kerry post?


lost post

Posted on: October 23 2004 @ 08:57 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Not yet.


lost post

Posted on: October 23 2004 @ 08:58 PM
By: nater3

Content:

It's now a "We're all Bubbas and Sheep" post

Nate


lost post

Posted on: October 23 2004 @ 09:02 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

**Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God.... I could be eating a slow learner. --Lynda Montgomery


lost post

Posted on: October 23 2004 @ 09:06 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

***********20,000+ VIEWS************* Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: October 23 2004 @ 09:29 PM
By: Rooster

Content:

We made it. Congradulation Lost Post Defenders. Our efforts have not gone in vain. Soon we will reach 1,000 posts!!





Rooster Lost Post Defender


lost post

Posted on: October 23 2004 @ 09:35 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Lets see. 20,000 @ 30seconds each average, = 10,000 minutes divided by 60 = about 166.6 hours that have been spent just viewing TLP. What a great way to spend time. A lot cheaper than a shrink. ken Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: October 23 2004 @ 09:43 PM
By: Rooster

Content:

But the question is, am I more messed up or less for having read this post?



Rooster


lost post

Posted on: October 23 2004 @ 09:47 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

There are some things that aren't meant to be known. Cool


lost post

Posted on: October 23 2004 @ 09:53 PM
By: Rooster

Content:

Jack and Jill went up the hill.................................


lost post

Posted on: October 23 2004 @ 10:07 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

I may have missed a couple of days but the other defender of nothingness is back Big Grin


lost post

Posted on: October 24 2004 @ 06:06 AM
By: Prime_Focus

Content:

Anybody want in on the pool for who hits the 1000th lost post post? I'm down for Rooster!


lost post

Posted on: October 24 2004 @ 09:47 AM
By: MFlan

Content:

I vote for Ice John only because he started this

god forsaken post.


lost post

Posted on: October 24 2004 @ 11:07 AM
By: Rooster

Content:

50


lost post

Posted on: October 24 2004 @ 11:08 AM
By: Rooster

Content:

to


lost post

Posted on: October 24 2004 @ 11:08 AM
By: Rooster

Content:

go


lost post

Posted on: October 24 2004 @ 11:08 AM
By: Rooster

Content:

people


lost post

Posted on: October 24 2004 @ 11:09 AM
By: Rooster

Content:

Getrrr Done!!!! Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: October 24 2004 @ 11:10 AM
By: NEIAIceMan

Content:

50


lost post

Posted on: October 24 2004 @ 11:10 AM
By: NEIAIceMan

Content:

49


lost post

Posted on: October 24 2004 @ 11:10 AM
By: NEIAIceMan

Content:

48


lost post

Posted on: October 24 2004 @ 11:12 AM
By: ejensen

Content:

Oh so close!!!!!


lost post

Posted on: October 24 2004 @ 11:29 AM
By: Rooster

Content:


lost post

Posted on: October 24 2004 @ 12:09 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

How many do we have to go?


lost post

Posted on: October 24 2004 @ 12:21 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

my bet would be on rooster also.


lost post

Posted on: October 24 2004 @ 12:27 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

maybe tomorrow or the next day


lost post

Posted on: October 24 2004 @ 03:11 PM
By: ejensen

Content:

Lets get it close for IceJohn to hit 1000!


lost post

Posted on: October 24 2004 @ 06:08 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

So I said to the wife, "George' Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: October 24 2004 @ 06:14 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

And now that I'm running my life support equipment through Windows 2000, I'll never have to worry about -- beeeeeeeep...


lost post

Posted on: October 24 2004 @ 06:18 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

No, dude, this stuff is completely natural and safe, man. That's why it's called 'herbal.' Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: October 24 2004 @ 07:26 PM
By: manho

Content:

my dog just farted, it's not pretty . . . .


lost post

Posted on: October 24 2004 @ 08:45 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

here I sit broken hearted


lost post

Posted on: October 24 2004 @ 11:08 PM
By: Rooster

Content:

Man, I thought we could get it today. Maybe tomorrow.



Rooster


lost post

Posted on: October 24 2004 @ 11:08 PM
By: Caseyjoenz

Content:

first response to the lost post...probably the last Smile


lost post

Posted on: October 24 2004 @ 11:19 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

rooster for president Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: October 24 2004 @ 11:48 PM
By: Rooster

Content:

Bigboyd,

Now your my kind of voter. You been bowhunting at all? We should give it a go sometime since we are fairly close. I am not getting anything around here but the rut's coming up so I have to run across something pretty soon.



Rooster (President Rooster, yeah I like the sound of that!)




lost post

Posted on: October 24 2004 @ 11:53 PM
By: Rooster

Content:

Ok, I am not a patient man. Twisted Evil


lost post

Posted on: October 24 2004 @ 11:54 PM
By: Rooster

Content:

30 left


lost post

Posted on: October 24 2004 @ 11:54 PM
By: Rooster

Content:

29


lost post

Posted on: October 24 2004 @ 11:54 PM
By: Rooster

Content:

28


lost post

Posted on: October 24 2004 @ 11:55 PM
By: Rooster

Content:

27


lost post

Posted on: October 24 2004 @ 11:55 PM
By: Rooster

Content:

26


lost post

Posted on: October 24 2004 @ 11:55 PM
By: Rooster

Content:

25


lost post

Posted on: October 24 2004 @ 11:55 PM
By: Rooster

Content:

24


lost post

Posted on: October 24 2004 @ 11:55 PM
By: Rooster

Content:

23


lost post

Posted on: October 24 2004 @ 11:56 PM
By: Rooster

Content:

22


lost post

Posted on: October 24 2004 @ 11:56 PM
By: Rooster

Content:

21


lost post

Posted on: October 24 2004 @ 11:56 PM
By: Rooster

Content:

20


lost post

Posted on: October 24 2004 @ 11:56 PM
By: Rooster

Content:

19


lost post

Posted on: October 24 2004 @ 11:56 PM
By: Rooster

Content:

18


lost post

Posted on: October 24 2004 @ 11:57 PM
By: Rooster

Content:

17


lost post

Posted on: October 24 2004 @ 11:57 PM
By: Rooster

Content:

16


lost post

Posted on: October 24 2004 @ 11:57 PM
By: Rooster

Content:

15


lost post

Posted on: October 24 2004 @ 11:57 PM
By: Rooster

Content:

14


lost post

Posted on: October 24 2004 @ 11:57 PM
By: Rooster

Content:

13


lost post

Posted on: October 24 2004 @ 11:57 PM
By: Rooster

Content:

12


lost post

Posted on: October 24 2004 @ 11:59 PM
By: Rooster

Content:

11


lost post

Posted on: October 24 2004 @ 11:59 PM
By: Rooster

Content:

I wonder if it will be like Y2K???? Twisted Evil


lost post

Posted on: October 25 2004 @ 12:00 AM
By: Rooster

Content:

Ok, it's in reach now


lost post

Posted on: October 25 2004 @ 12:01 AM
By: Rooster

Content:

It's up for grabs I'm only going to 999.


lost post

Posted on: October 25 2004 @ 12:01 AM
By: Rooster

Content:

Who's it going to be?


lost post

Posted on: October 25 2004 @ 12:02 AM
By: Rooster

Content:

Is it you? Or you? Nope, it's you!


lost post

Posted on: October 25 2004 @ 12:02 AM
By: Rooster

Content:

If the site shuts down am I going to be in trouble?


lost post

Posted on: October 25 2004 @ 12:03 AM
By: Rooster

Content:

Ok, the last post has to be at midnight



Hmm, looks like my computers clock is slow. Rolling Eyes


lost post

Posted on: October 25 2004 @ 12:04 AM
By: Rooster

Content:

Only 3 other people on, I guess everyone needs to stay up later.


lost post

Posted on: October 25 2004 @ 12:05 AM
By: Rooster

Content:

Man this is doing wonders for my personal post amount.


lost post

Posted on: October 25 2004 @ 12:05 AM
By: Rooster

Content:

Ok, I carried the torch to the finish line. Now who has the balls to cross it? Don't worry, 2000 is right around the corner.



Nothing worse than a bored college kid. Twisted Evil



Rooster Lost Post Defender


lost post

Posted on: October 25 2004 @ 12:17 AM
By: kipp

Content:

bang..............1000, someday i'm gonna grab a 12 pack and read all of them


lost post

Posted on: October 25 2004 @ 12:21 AM
By: Rooster

Content:

999 posts and that's the big finish? Kind of a let down but it's the lost post, what can you expect.



Rooster Retired Lost Post Defender


lost post

Posted on: October 25 2004 @ 12:21 AM
By: bigboyd

Content:

lets get a keg and read them together Laughing Out Loud


lost post

Posted on: October 25 2004 @ 12:23 AM
By: bigboyd

Content:

are we gona take bets on the day that the lost post will reach 2000?


lost post

Posted on: October 25 2004 @ 12:23 AM
By: Rooster

Content:

I wonder how many pages Tony will devote to the Lost Post in the IO book?



Rooster


lost post

Posted on: October 25 2004 @ 12:24 AM
By: kipp

Content:

i like the keg idea, a new iowa outdoor get together. a keg a beer and we all read through the lost post.


lost post

Posted on: October 25 2004 @ 12:28 AM
By: bigboyd

Content:

rooster, never bow hunted for deer Frown sorry.



kipp. what kind of keg do you want to get?


lost post

Posted on: October 25 2004 @ 12:33 AM
By: kipp

Content:

anything that will get us to 2000


lost post

Posted on: October 25 2004 @ 12:34 AM
By: Rooster

Content:

Oh, I thought that you did. I guess we will just call that off then. Is it shotgun that you hunt for them?



Rooster


lost post

Posted on: October 25 2004 @ 01:47 AM
By: bigboyd

Content:

I like the way you think Kipp


lost post

Posted on: October 25 2004 @ 01:51 AM
By: bigboyd

Content:

rooster it is a shotgun for me. There have been a few times that I got them with my old trusty 78 Chevy pickup, out of season but I didn't have to lead em. lol Laughing Out Loud


lost post

Posted on: October 25 2004 @ 03:59 AM
By: Mr.Pheasant

Content:

I must say, the 1000th post: a little anti-climatic. I think we should name a random number (not even) and celebrate when someone hits it. We won't talk about it too much and that way if you don't keep up on the lost post, you don't know how cool you are if you're post is 1587 or something like that. Let's pull our critter-bustin brains together and come up with something.



Don't get me wrong, I'm never upset with anything reguarding the lost post... My hopes are just that high.


lost post

Posted on: October 25 2004 @ 05:13 AM
By: 2dogs

Content:

2dogs...think "Lost Post" STUPID!...

But then again...2dog's..turtle think..2dogs STUPID!... for falling through thin ice above beaver dam, as youth.



turtle still...angry.


lost post

Posted on: October 25 2004 @ 10:41 AM
By: Rooster

Content:

I have nothing constructive to say.


lost post

Posted on: October 25 2004 @ 10:48 AM
By: logger

Content:

Just checked this one to see Roosters profile pic.


lost post

Posted on: October 25 2004 @ 10:48 AM
By: rugerpup

Content:

I believe that this post should start from the begining again, as it has lost its true meaning. It was just a bunch of meaningless stuff that didnt make sense from one user to the next, and now there are conversations in it.. whats up with that????



I guess I'm no better, with a post like this I mean Rolling Eyes


lost post

Posted on: October 25 2004 @ 10:51 AM
By: kenhump

Content:

But if you set it free and it returns, it's yours to keep. Wink


lost post

Posted on: October 25 2004 @ 11:21 AM
By: bigjake

Content:



Careful guys, you are starting to give this post some meaning. We don't want that! Razz



Bob


lost post

Posted on: October 25 2004 @ 11:29 AM
By: Rooster

Content:

Bigjake,

Are you going to start off your moderator duties by shutting down the Lost Post? Eek!



Rooster


lost post

Posted on: October 25 2004 @ 11:49 AM
By: bigjake

Content:



No way Rooster. Way to much effort has gone into this post. It probably has grown some deep roots.



Bob


lost post

Posted on: October 25 2004 @ 03:30 PM
By: TazBBassin

Content:

If I bought a herd of buffalo on credit. . . . would they send me a Buffalo Bill ??? Laughing Out Loud



Just had to do it !! Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: October 25 2004 @ 09:30 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

only with a buffalo nickel


lost post

Posted on: October 25 2004 @ 09:53 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

lost post lost post lost post lost post lost post

lost post lost post lost post lost post lost post

lost post lost post lost post lost post lost post

lost post lost post lost post lost post lost post

lost post lost post lost post lost post lost post

lost post lost post lost post lost post lost post

lost post lost post lost post lost post lost post

lost post lost post lost post lost post lost post

lost post lost post lost post lost post lost post

lost post lost post lost post lost post lost post

lost post lost post lost post lost post lost post

lost post lost post lost post lost post lost post

lost post lost post lost post lost post lost post

lost post lost post lost post lost post lost post

lost post lost post lost post lost post lost post

lost post lost post lost post lost post lost post

lost post lost post lost post lost post lost post

lost post lost post lost post lost post lost post


lost post

Posted on: October 25 2004 @ 11:03 PM
By: Rooster

Content:

So many moderators.....checking this.....reviewing that.......Big Brother is everywhere.........must find refuge in the lost post.



Rooster


lost post

Posted on: October 25 2004 @ 11:11 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

don't let the man get ya down.


lost post

Posted on: October 26 2004 @ 09:26 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

they're everywhere they're every where


lost post

Posted on: October 26 2004 @ 10:54 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

Don't let the revenuers find your still Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: October 27 2004 @ 05:25 AM
By: 2dogs

Content:

I'd rather have "drift-wood" than "dead-wood".


lost post

Posted on: October 27 2004 @ 05:40 AM
By: Prime_Focus

Content:

here


lost post

Posted on: October 27 2004 @ 10:04 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

here it comes again


lost post

Posted on: October 27 2004 @ 10:17 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

What goes around, comes around, normally. Confused


lost post

Posted on: October 27 2004 @ 10:59 PM
By: kipp

Content:

I Did It!!!!!!!!!!!!! i read this post front to back. took all night and a few or more drinks. my hats off to the two or three guys who kept this going, you know who you are. rooster for president. in closing, i laughed, i cried, i was touched. this would make a good book


lost post

Posted on: October 27 2004 @ 11:18 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

lost post 2008 Big Grin


lost post

Posted on: October 27 2004 @ 11:34 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

kipp, IO denies any responsibility for and side effects of overexposure to 'The Lost Post'. Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: October 27 2004 @ 11:58 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

dam, I ran out of Busch light


lost post

Posted on: October 28 2004 @ 06:40 AM
By: MFlan

Content:

I wont rest until I get word from bigboyd that he mede it safely through the nite wihtout any more busch lite. I may even lite a candle for him.


lost post

Posted on: October 28 2004 @ 07:17 PM
By: MFlan

Content:

bigboyd



did ya ever get that busch lite restocked?


lost post

Posted on: October 28 2004 @ 07:31 PM
By: Rooster

Content:

The difference between hunters and a fisherman is that a hunter lies in wait and a fisherman waits and lies.





Rooster


lost post

Posted on: October 28 2004 @ 07:33 PM
By: Rooster

Content:

If you keep a goldfish in a dark room, it will eventually turn white.



Rooster


lost post

Posted on: October 28 2004 @ 07:36 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

got beer Big Grin


lost post

Posted on: October 28 2004 @ 07:38 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

can think now


lost post

Posted on: October 28 2004 @ 07:39 PM
By: Rooster

Content:

Got beer in hand but still not crazy enough to try and read through the entire lost post.



Rooster


lost post

Posted on: October 28 2004 @ 07:43 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

that will take a keg


lost post

Posted on: October 28 2004 @ 07:46 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

or 2


lost post

Posted on: October 28 2004 @ 07:48 PM
By: MFlan

Content:





bigboyd has beer we can all rest peacfully


lost post

Posted on: October 28 2004 @ 07:50 PM
By: fishhead

Content:

If a tree fell in the forest and nobody was around to hear it, would it make a noise? Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: October 28 2004 @ 08:27 PM
By: MFlan

Content:

If I came home a drinken from a drunk and my wife was a hollerin at me and I fell asleep would she still be makin noise?


lost post

Posted on: October 28 2004 @ 08:28 PM
By: Rooster

Content:

Yep, they are always making noise.


lost post

Posted on: October 28 2004 @ 08:30 PM
By: MFlan

Content:

I thought so


lost post

Posted on: October 28 2004 @ 09:03 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

I can hear but do I listen


lost post

Posted on: October 28 2004 @ 10:28 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Paul's Law, "You can't fall off the floor." Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: October 29 2004 @ 01:24 AM
By: bigboyd

Content:

I got drunk and heard myself fall.


lost post

Posted on: October 29 2004 @ 01:41 AM
By: bigboyd

Content:

Rolling Eyes Rolling Eyes Laughing Out Loud Laughing Out Loud Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: October 29 2004 @ 04:20 AM
By: Bigdog

Content:

I need a drink.



David


lost post

Posted on: October 29 2004 @ 11:23 AM
By: ejensen

Content:

It must be noon somewhere Rolling Eyes


lost post

Posted on: October 29 2004 @ 12:41 PM
By: MFlan

Content:

Hey ya cant drink all day long unless ya start in the morning!!!!!!!!


lost post

Posted on: October 29 2004 @ 03:38 PM
By: bait

Content:





learning to add pictures

Didn't work





Ya! I did it!


lost post

Posted on: October 29 2004 @ 03:52 PM
By: DuckMan

Content:

nice door bell


lost post

Posted on: October 29 2004 @ 05:07 PM
By: Prime_Focus

Content:

You know you're a redneck! (Refer to two posts up) Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: October 29 2004 @ 09:48 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

nice pic


lost post

Posted on: October 30 2004 @ 03:22 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB

Her father shot it dead

Now it goes to school with her,

Between two hunks of bread.


lost post

Posted on: October 30 2004 @ 03:33 PM
By: Prime_Focus

Content:

Ken, that's just plain disturbing. Eek!


lost post

Posted on: October 30 2004 @ 05:18 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Ya, you'd think they'd have a better school lunch program. Laughing Out Loud


lost post

Posted on: October 30 2004 @ 09:37 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

sounds good to me


lost post

Posted on: October 31 2004 @ 02:46 AM
By: bigboyd

Content:

still sound better than the deer but door bell


lost post

Posted on: October 31 2004 @ 07:07 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Only dead fish swim with the stream. Wink


lost post

Posted on: October 31 2004 @ 08:38 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

I see dead fish


lost post

Posted on: October 31 2004 @ 09:07 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

People who live in stone houses, shouldn't throw glasses. Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: November 01 2004 @ 01:41 PM
By: bigred6933

Content:

A really bad halloween costume. Eek!


lost post

Posted on: November 01 2004 @ 01:46 PM
By: bigred6933

Content:

Old retired Hooters girls... Eek!


lost post

Posted on: November 01 2004 @ 03:37 PM
By: J-Ri

Content:

What is more powerfull than God, more evil than the devil, poor people have it, rich people want it, and if you eat it, you will die?



Sorry, no answer yet.... ask questions that I can answer with a "yes" or a "no"



This should keep this thread going for awhile


lost post

Posted on: November 01 2004 @ 04:19 PM
By: whimat

Content:

What we have here is ... a failure to communicate.


lost post

Posted on: November 01 2004 @ 05:08 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

J-RI, nothing. ken Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: November 02 2004 @ 09:27 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

here we go again


lost post

Posted on: November 02 2004 @ 09:35 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Are inhabitants of Paris, Parasites? Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: November 02 2004 @ 11:57 PM
By: basebklyn7

Content:

im still laughing at that sheep costume above..

The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first.


lost post

Posted on: November 02 2004 @ 11:59 PM
By: basebklyn7

Content:

How do you catch an elephant?

First you dig a big hole, and fill it with wood and ash. Then you take a load of peas and line them up around the hole. Then, when the elephant goes to take a pea, kick him in the ash-hole!


lost post

Posted on: November 03 2004 @ 12:08 AM
By: fish

Content:

I heard that joke, cept it went like this:

How do you trap a polarbear? cut a hole in the ice. surround it with peas. then when the polar bear comes to take a pee, you kick him in the ice hole.



That was my favorite joke for the longest time, I completely forgot about that one, lmao, thanks!


lost post

Posted on: November 03 2004 @ 01:52 AM
By: J-Ri

Content:

"Damn you and your big words.... and your small, difficult words" - Peter Griffin, Family Guy


lost post

Posted on: November 03 2004 @ 06:31 AM
By: Rooster

Content:

A T-Shirt off of the Foxnews website. Can't figure out how to order one but I thought this shirt said it all for me.









Rooster


lost post

Posted on: November 03 2004 @ 03:32 PM
By: J-Ri

Content:

Another day, another post. Are threads like this the reason so many of y'all have thousands of posts? Smile


lost post

Posted on: November 03 2004 @ 04:58 PM
By: Chambdog

Content:

Just had to check.


lost post

Posted on: November 04 2004 @ 06:43 AM
By: MFlan

Content:

What if the Hokey Pokey isn't what it's all about?





Scary huh


lost post

Posted on: November 04 2004 @ 11:14 PM
By: J-Ri

Content:

[QUOTE BY= MFlan] What if the Hokey Pokey isn't what it's all about?





Scary huh[/QUOTE]



What if the Hokey Pokey really is what it's all about?


lost post

Posted on: November 05 2004 @ 10:45 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Lilly Tomlin: "We're all in this alone".


lost post

Posted on: November 06 2004 @ 01:11 PM
By: J-Ri

Content:

An interesting thing happened the other day.... not for me, but probably for someone.


lost post

Posted on: November 06 2004 @ 02:27 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

That's good, doesn't happen that often. Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: November 06 2004 @ 04:35 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

to fish or hunt........that is the question.


lost post

Posted on: November 07 2004 @ 09:04 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

depends on the season


lost post

Posted on: November 07 2004 @ 09:30 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Hunter, "I thought you said you were the best guide in Vermont." Guide, "I did, but I think we're in Canada." Rolling Eyes


lost post

Posted on: November 07 2004 @ 09:59 PM
By: Prime_Focus

Content:

Exactly how much is a butt load? Is it lineal, area, or volume? Is it SAE or metric? These are the kinds of things that keep me awake at night.


lost post

Posted on: November 07 2004 @ 10:22 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

It is inversely proportional to the value the commodity in question. The less it's worth, the more you have of it. i.e. it is impossible to have a 'butt load' of anything of value. ken Wink


lost post

Posted on: November 07 2004 @ 10:29 PM
By: Prime_Focus

Content:

Oh! I see.


lost post

Posted on: November 08 2004 @ 04:41 AM
By: jth507

Content:

Sleep, it is highly over rated, how else would on ever learn the true meaning of a butt load Question

Eek!


lost post

Posted on: November 08 2004 @ 10:19 AM
By: Rooster

Content:

If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...Does that mean the fifth one enjoys it?


lost post

Posted on: November 08 2004 @ 10:22 AM
By: Rooster

Content:

Lawyer: Doctor, before you signed the death certificate, did you check for a pulse?

Witness: No.

Lawyer: Did you check for blood pressure?

Witness: No.

Lawyer: Did you check for breathing?

Witness: No.

Lawyer: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you signed the certificate?

Witness: No.

Lawyer: How can you be so sure, Doctor?

Witness: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. But now that you mention it, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.


lost post

Posted on: November 08 2004 @ 10:25 AM
By: Rooster

Content:

If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?


lost post

Posted on: November 08 2004 @ 10:34 AM
By: river

Content:

"I see," said the blind man, as he picked up his hammer and saw.


lost post

Posted on: November 08 2004 @ 11:31 AM
By: kenhump

Content:

An oral agreement isn't worth the paper it's written on.


lost post

Posted on: November 08 2004 @ 12:01 PM
By: yotehuntr

Content:

"A thing is right when it tends to preserve the integrity, stability and beauty of the biotic community. It is wrong when it tends otherwise."



-Aldo Leopold


lost post

Posted on: November 08 2004 @ 12:05 PM
By: yotehuntr

Content:

"We abuse land because we regard it as a commodity belonging to us. When we see land as a community to which we belong, we may begin to use it with love and respect."



-Aldo Leopold


lost post

Posted on: November 08 2004 @ 01:16 PM
By: quailslayer

Content:

Man, you guys got a lot of time on your hands, back to but load. The amount of s%&# a colon can hold? So it would be different per person due to the way people eat.


lost post

Posted on: November 08 2004 @ 09:33 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

doesn't it depend on the size of the buttocks


lost post

Posted on: November 08 2004 @ 09:45 PM
By: Bigdog

Content:

No Darrin it depends on what one ingests or should I say how much?

Eek!

David


lost post

Posted on: November 08 2004 @ 09:54 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

I am neither for or against apathy..ken Confused


lost post

Posted on: November 08 2004 @ 09:57 PM
By: NEIAIceMan

Content:

What if you say somebody is full of $hit....does that mean they have a butt load?? Smile


lost post

Posted on: November 09 2004 @ 04:45 AM
By: Bigdog

Content:

Iceman,



I think it would be after it passes Eek!



David


lost post

Posted on: November 10 2004 @ 09:36 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

depends on the color of their eyes


lost post

Posted on: November 10 2004 @ 10:17 PM
By: quailslayer

Content:

I thought it was called the brown eye?


lost post

Posted on: November 10 2004 @ 11:00 PM
By: WoollyBugger

Content:

Goodness, I finally got to the end of this post, and I'm totally lost. I think I need to contribute....



Exclaimation POST Exclaimation



There I feel better now.


lost post

Posted on: November 10 2004 @ 11:29 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

And your a better person for it, or maybe not. Rolling Eyes


lost post

Posted on: November 11 2004 @ 06:46 AM
By: Bigdog

Content:

WoolleyBugger



Lost is only a frame of mind. Confused Hey look now you are found Eek!



David


lost post

Posted on: November 11 2004 @ 07:33 AM
By: meps1sg

Content:

where ever you go - there you are


lost post

Posted on: November 11 2004 @ 08:00 AM
By: Stomper

Content:

I wnder how many stars this post has generated


lost post

Posted on: November 11 2004 @ 09:35 AM
By: whip2

Content:

WoollyBugger

I think you were around Bob too long.

Whip2


lost post

Posted on: November 11 2004 @ 10:35 AM
By: river

Content:



I kwit skool wen I were 16 and now I are a mil in air


lost post

Posted on: November 11 2004 @ 10:37 AM
By: river

Content:

M R Ducks.

M R not Ducks.

O S M R. C M wangs?

L I B. M R Ducks.


lost post

Posted on: November 11 2004 @ 01:20 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

meps1sg, unless you've been there before, in which case you're back. ken Wink


lost post

Posted on: November 11 2004 @ 01:47 PM
By: ducks4me

Content:

WOW!!! I just woke up from my nap and this thread is over 1,000. It was only at 12 when I fell asleep! Laughing Out Loud Laughing Out Loud Laughing Out Loud



Ducks


lost post

Posted on: November 11 2004 @ 02:22 PM
By: d00buck

Content:

What's your last name Scott...VanWinkle? Wink

If you were from Pella, would that be VanDerWinkle?



Questions to ponder, such as "Who has the most lost posts in the Lost Post"?


lost post

Posted on: November 11 2004 @ 02:26 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

A dubious 'honor', at best. Confused


lost post

Posted on: November 11 2004 @ 02:28 PM
By: colbyjack

Content:

i found it.............wait im still lost, this thing.



on a side note can i sell or trade my wife on ebay?? just courious hehehehehe -chris



howdy dale havent heard from ya in a while


lost post

Posted on: November 11 2004 @ 02:43 PM
By: DuckMan

Content:

What is the starting bid??????

hope your wife dosent read this Big Grin Big Grin


lost post

Posted on: November 11 2004 @ 02:44 PM
By: DuckMan

Content:

199


lost post

Posted on: November 11 2004 @ 02:44 PM
By: DuckMan

Content:

I hit 200 Exclaimation Exclaimation and got a new star


lost post

Posted on: November 11 2004 @ 03:02 PM
By: ducks4me

Content:

Congrats Duckman! Any place to celebrate! LOL!!!



Ducks


lost post

Posted on: November 11 2004 @ 04:23 PM
By: Ray R

Content:

Two old codgers were about to tee off on the eighteenth hole when a funeral procession drove by on the highway.



One of the golfers took off his hat and bowed his head for a moment, then proceeded to tee off.



The other golfer said he'd never known the other golfer to pay such respect before.



The first golfer said "It's the least I could do. After all we were married for 40 years.



Ray


lost post

Posted on: November 11 2004 @ 04:27 PM
By: Ray R

Content:

What's the difference between a dead skunk and a dead lawyer laying in the middle of the road.



The skidmarks in front of the skunk!


lost post

Posted on: November 11 2004 @ 04:28 PM
By: Ray R

Content:

Is there an easy way to get to the end of a thread this long?


lost post

Posted on: November 11 2004 @ 04:32 PM
By: d00buck

Content:

Ray, to the right of the topic is a column called Last Post. Click on the little arrow and page, and it will take you to the last page. Hope this helps!


lost post

Posted on: November 11 2004 @ 04:42 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Or just bookmark the last page of lost post. ken


lost post

Posted on: November 11 2004 @ 04:42 PM
By: ducks4me

Content:

Yes Dale.....but where is the last page? Big Grin



Ducks


lost post

Posted on: November 11 2004 @ 05:02 PM
By: d00buck

Content:

Why it hasn't been written yet Scott! Be hard to bookmark.


lost post

Posted on: November 11 2004 @ 05:13 PM
By: J-Ri

Content:

You can go to any page you want. You'll notice in the address bar at the top of the screen, at the end of the address, there is a "page=XXX" Just change the number and it will take you to that page.


lost post

Posted on: November 11 2004 @ 05:14 PM
By: J-Ri

Content:

How many posts do I have to have to get another star?


lost post

Posted on: November 11 2004 @ 05:15 PM
By: J-Ri

Content:

It's not 37


lost post

Posted on: November 11 2004 @ 05:15 PM
By: J-Ri

Content:

or 38


lost post

Posted on: November 11 2004 @ 05:16 PM
By: J-Ri

Content:

or 39


lost post

Posted on: November 11 2004 @ 05:16 PM
By: J-Ri

Content:

not 40


lost post

Posted on: November 11 2004 @ 05:16 PM
By: J-Ri

Content:

it's not 41


lost post

Posted on: November 11 2004 @ 05:17 PM
By: J-Ri

Content:

I bet it might be an even number like 51 or 99.


lost post

Posted on: November 11 2004 @ 05:20 PM
By: J-Ri

Content:

I'm getting bored with this..... I'll be back tomorrow


lost post

Posted on: November 11 2004 @ 06:38 PM
By: cabinboy

Content:

chicks dig me because i rarely wear underwear and when i do it's something unusual


lost post

Posted on: November 11 2004 @ 07:10 PM
By: Prime_Focus

Content:

For crying out loud man, we didn't need to hear that!!!


lost post

Posted on: November 11 2004 @ 08:32 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

I'm BLIND Eek!


lost post

Posted on: November 11 2004 @ 08:38 PM
By: Mr.Flathead1

Content:

Just the Image I didn`t need Rolling Eyes


lost post

Posted on: November 11 2004 @ 09:16 PM
By: fishslayer

Content:

My birdbath was frozen over this morning. Sure, I drilled a hole, but my AquaView was nearly worthless. Razz


lost post

Posted on: November 12 2004 @ 07:49 AM
By: ducks4me

Content:

[QUOTE BY= fishslayer] My birdbath was frozen over this morning. Sure, I drilled a hole, but my AquaView was nearly worthless. Razz [/QUOTE]





Dead batteries? LOL!!! Laughing Out Loud



Ducks


lost post

Posted on: November 12 2004 @ 10:26 AM
By: kenhump

Content:

Froze solid, didn't need a camera, came out in one piece. Wink


lost post

Posted on: November 12 2004 @ 10:50 AM
By: ducks4me

Content:

That would kind of like frozen fish on a stick. Laughing Out Loud



Ducks


lost post

Posted on: November 12 2004 @ 12:46 PM
By: fishslayer

Content:

Makes tip-ups hard to set.


lost post

Posted on: November 12 2004 @ 10:27 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

"Pikecicles", has a ring to it. Wink


lost post

Posted on: November 13 2004 @ 11:43 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

He's the kind of guy that can enter an empty room and blend right in.


lost post

Posted on: November 13 2004 @ 11:54 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Critter Fritters, great name for a fast food joint. Wink


lost post

Posted on: November 14 2004 @ 12:31 AM
By: quailslayer

Content:

Menu is to broad, should read "menu posted on road over last 15 or 20 miles". Don't miss the daily special !


lost post

Posted on: November 14 2004 @ 12:35 AM
By: kenhump

Content:

Gives 'brakeing for lunch' a whole new meaning. Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: November 14 2004 @ 01:12 AM
By: quailslayer

Content:

Oh by the way I would like to be seated in the no smoking ditch Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: November 14 2004 @ 09:53 AM
By: MFlan

Content:

woman bring food --come back fifteen minute


lost post

Posted on: November 14 2004 @ 11:19 AM
By: Bigdog

Content:

Little miss muffet sat on a tuffet eating her curds and whey, when along came a spider and sat down beside her and said "Hey Bltch whats in the bowl?" Famous poem by Andrew Dyes Clay



David


lost post

Posted on: November 14 2004 @ 11:59 AM
By: kenhump

Content:

Don't think Andrew is due credit for that one. I first heard that in the 1960s. They were a 'spin-off' from Professor Peabody on Rocky & Bullwinkle. "Fractured Fairy Tales". Anderew does have his moments tho. ken


lost post

Posted on: November 14 2004 @ 12:00 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Dr. Seuss's Guide to the Internet (with apologies to Dr. Seuss)



Here's an easy game to play.



Here's an easy thing to say.



If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,



And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,



And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,



Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!







If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,



And the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,



And your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash,



Then your situation's hopeless, and your system's gonna crash!







You can't say this?



What a shame, sir!



We'll find you Another game, sir.







If the label on the cable on the table at your house,



Says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,



But your packets want to tunnel on another protocol



That's repeatedly rejected by your printer down the hall,







And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of Gauss,



So your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse,



Then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,



'Cause as sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang!







When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk,



And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary RISC,



Then you have to flash your memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM.



Quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your mom!




lost post

Posted on: November 14 2004 @ 12:16 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Mary had a little skirt



with splits right up the sides



and every time that Mary walked



the boys could see her thighs



Mary had another skirt



twas split right up the front ...



but she didn't wear that one very often


lost post

Posted on: November 15 2004 @ 10:00 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

Just had to get my 900th post only 100 more to go


lost post

Posted on: November 15 2004 @ 10:43 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

When you hit 1000 it will seem like only 99 posts ago.


lost post

Posted on: November 16 2004 @ 02:23 AM
By: J-Ri

Content:

I remember when I hit 10.... seemed like just last year Smile


lost post

Posted on: November 16 2004 @ 12:09 PM
By: deadeye01

Content:

Jus had to get in on the lost post. Wouldn't feel right if i missed out on all the entertainment. Besides, i don't have anything better to do at the moment. Time well spent


lost post

Posted on: November 16 2004 @ 09:37 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

just keeping it alive bwahhahahahahaha


lost post

Posted on: November 16 2004 @ 09:50 PM
By: quailslayer

Content:

Smoke free since late friday, and I could not resist the urge to check this post, dammit.


lost post

Posted on: November 17 2004 @ 08:33 AM
By: Hazmat

Content:

Jeeeeeeezusssss......it's still alive???


lost post

Posted on: November 17 2004 @ 10:45 AM
By: kenhump

Content:

Carried my lighter for months after I quit..ken Wink


lost post

Posted on: November 17 2004 @ 11:39 AM
By: ducks4me

Content:

How can this be the lost post......if it isn't lost?



Ducks


lost post

Posted on: November 17 2004 @ 11:40 AM
By: ducks4me

Content:

Or was it lost and then found?



Ducks


lost post

Posted on: November 17 2004 @ 11:41 AM
By: ducks4me

Content:

In which case it would be the "Found" post.



Ducks


lost post

Posted on: November 17 2004 @ 11:42 AM
By: ducks4me

Content:

So up to this point it could be called the "Lost and Found" post.



Ducks


lost post

Posted on: November 17 2004 @ 11:43 AM
By: ducks4me

Content:

Perhaps someday it will becalled the "Last" post.



Ducks


lost post

Posted on: November 17 2004 @ 11:44 AM
By: ducks4me

Content:

No, that can't be. As long as it lives, it can't be the "Last" post.



Ducks


lost post

Posted on: November 17 2004 @ 11:45 AM
By: ducks4me

Content:

So prehaps it is best known as the "lost" post.



Ducks


lost post

Posted on: November 17 2004 @ 11:46 AM
By: ducks4me

Content:

But then again, if it isn't lost..........................................?



Ducks


lost post

Posted on: November 17 2004 @ 11:47 AM
By: ducks4me

Content:

How about the "We're Lost" post? Laughing Out Loud



Ducks


lost post

Posted on: November 17 2004 @ 11:47 AM
By: NEIAIceMan

Content:

I see how it works Scott...trying to run up your post total Razz



Shane


lost post

Posted on: November 17 2004 @ 11:50 AM
By: ducks4me

Content:

Heck Ya! 10,000 ain't that far away! Laughing Out Loud Laughing Out Loud Laughing Out Loud



Ducks


lost post

Posted on: November 17 2004 @ 03:26 PM
By: J-Ri

Content:

havn't posted here for a few days. Figured I would now. So....
"POST"


lost post

Posted on: November 17 2004 @ 03:31 PM
By: basebklyn7

Content:

24,382 views.. thats crazy...thats like half of my town checking this out.... crazy...

BRING ON THE ICE


lost post

Posted on: November 17 2004 @ 04:20 PM
By: ducks4me

Content:

It's like 5 of my town checking it out! LOL!!!



Ducks


lost post

Posted on: November 17 2004 @ 06:31 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

That would be 25 X my town. Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: November 17 2004 @ 07:59 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

it would be 30 of my home town.


lost post

Posted on: November 17 2004 @ 08:07 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Our town is so small, both city limit signs are on the same post. Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: November 17 2004 @ 08:20 PM
By: fisher

Content:

OH YA!!!!!!!!! OHHHH YAAAAAAAA!!!! That would be like...........1000 times my town........So there! Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: November 17 2004 @ 09:37 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

The other two signs are 'Braking ordinance enforced' and 'resume speed'. Big Grin


lost post

Posted on: November 17 2004 @ 09:46 PM
By: Mr.Pheasant

Content:

I saw an interesting sign between Chichaqwa and Marshalltown this past weekend. It said: Deaf Child Area. I've never seen that one before. My favorite sign of all is: SLOW CHILDREN PLAYING. ..... Poor kids.


lost post

Posted on: November 17 2004 @ 09:51 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Yup, seeing a lot of that. Black mark on the educational system, r it knot. Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: November 17 2004 @ 09:52 PM
By: quailslayer

Content:

Peak around the corner and you're plumb out of town.


lost post

Posted on: November 17 2004 @ 10:26 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

just don't forget to roll up the streets


lost post

Posted on: November 17 2004 @ 10:30 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

CORNER, WOW, you have a cross street Exclaimation

I'm impressed. Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: November 18 2004 @ 05:54 AM
By: fishndad

Content:

Hmmmmmm............I've never put a post on here before. I suppose it's my turn. Don't want this to get "LOST" somewhere. Twisted Evil


lost post

Posted on: November 18 2004 @ 07:30 AM
By: ducks4me

Content:

[QUOTE BY= bigjake]

Oh, this has taken an ugly turn. I cannot agree with this thread anymore. I am not in agreement with what I am reading. I couldn't disagree more. I am totally on the other side of this issue now. I haven't been this disagreeable in days. Sorry, but I can longer go along with you on this one.



Bob[/QUOTE]



I don't know.....sounds like a little doubt there Bob. LOL!!!!



Ducks


lost post

Posted on: November 18 2004 @ 09:01 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

lost live the long post



wait that didn't sound right Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: November 18 2004 @ 10:08 PM
By: Larry Richard

Content:

old mother Hubbard went to her cupboard

to get her poor daughter a dress

but when she got there

the cupboard was bare

and so was her daughter, I guess.





took half hour to catch up to the shenanigans of the lost post, but whats a guy to do on call. since we are waxing poetic, this was my semi-innocent way of contributing to the continuing delinquency of othewise decent IO members. doc


lost post

Posted on: November 18 2004 @ 10:58 PM
By: NEIAIceMan

Content:

1198!


lost post

Posted on: November 18 2004 @ 10:58 PM
By: NEIAIceMan

Content:

1199!


lost post

Posted on: November 18 2004 @ 10:59 PM
By: NEIAIceMan

Content:

1200!


lost post

Posted on: November 18 2004 @ 11:06 PM
By: J-Ri

Content:

1,201!


lost post

Posted on: November 19 2004 @ 09:42 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

it just keeps growing and growing and growing

with all this fertilizer there's no telling how large it will get


lost post

Posted on: November 19 2004 @ 09:47 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Global warming is giving me a cerebral hemorrhoid Exclaimation


lost post

Posted on: November 19 2004 @ 09:55 PM
By: ducks4me

Content:

Tomorrow is a new day! Enjoy it while you can! Because in 24 hrs it'll be all used up and you'll have to start a new one again.



So does that make yesterday a used up tomorrow?



Ducks


lost post

Posted on: November 20 2004 @ 01:04 AM
By: J-Ri

Content:

[QUOTE BY= ducks4me] Tomorrow is a new day! Enjoy it while you can! Because in 24 hrs it'll be all used up and you'll have to start a new one again.



So does that make yesterday a used up tomorrow?



Ducks[/QUOTE]



I'll tell ya tomorrow Smile


lost post

Posted on: November 20 2004 @ 01:42 AM
By: bigboyd

Content:

I'll have to get back to you on that one.


lost post

Posted on: November 20 2004 @ 12:10 PM
By: depo8th

Content:

here's another

An elderly lady phoned her telephone company to report that her telephone failed to ring when her friends called - and that on the few occasions when it did ring, her pet dog always moaned right before the phone rang. The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or senile elderly lady. He climbed a nearby telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the subscriber's house. The phone didn't ring right away, but then the dog moaned loudly and the telephone began to ring. Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman found:

1. The dog was tied to the telephone system's ground wire via a steel chain and collar.

2. The wire connection to the ground rod was loose.

3. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current when the phone number was called.

4. After a couple of such jolts, the dog would start moaning and then urinate on himself and the ground.

5. The wet ground would complete the circuit, thus causing the phone to ring. Which demonstrates that some problems CAN be fixed by pissing and moaning.


lost post

Posted on: November 20 2004 @ 12:42 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

I can neither confirm or deny the last post. Wink


lost post

Posted on: November 20 2004 @ 06:26 PM
By: J-Ri

Content:

"they're burned on the outside, but they're still frozen on the inside so it balances out" - Lisa Simpson, making fish sticks


lost post

Posted on: November 20 2004 @ 08:10 PM
By: Mr.Flathead1

Content:

YUMMI Razz


lost post

Posted on: November 20 2004 @ 10:55 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

just sit right back and you'll hear a tale


lost post

Posted on: November 21 2004 @ 08:29 AM
By: d00buck

Content:

Darrin, the tale of a fateful trip? I love that one!


lost post

Posted on: November 21 2004 @ 11:18 AM
By: littlejon

Content:

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.



For sale: parachute, used once, never opened. Cheap


lost post

Posted on: November 22 2004 @ 09:12 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

just stay away from those 3 hour tours Big Grin


lost post

Posted on: November 24 2004 @ 12:05 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Good bird to you all. "May the Swartz be with you!" Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: November 24 2004 @ 03:18 PM
By: fogerty_18

Content:

Where ever you go; there you are. haven't really read to many of these posts but i thought i better put my $.02 in ..... oh yeah, question: Does a one legged duck swim in circles???


lost post

Posted on: November 24 2004 @ 03:51 PM
By: quailslayer

Content:

Yep, just gets around. Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: November 29 2004 @ 07:10 AM
By: VikeFan

Content:

bump


lost post

Posted on: November 29 2004 @ 07:12 AM
By: VikeFan

Content:

[QUOTE BY= kenhump] Global warming is giving me a cerebral hemorrhoid Exclaimation [/QUOTE]



In the tradition of good old DS, I can only conclude that God hates ice fishermen. Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: November 29 2004 @ 07:59 AM
By: ducks4me

Content:

It was a very long time ago...............................

.....................................................................

.....................................................................

.....................................................................

..................and that's why I can't remember it!



Ducks


lost post

Posted on: November 29 2004 @ 08:03 AM
By: ducks4me

Content:

[QUOTE BY= fogerty_18] question: Does a one legged duck swim in circles??? [/QUOTE]





I don't know..........I shoot Hevi-shot! LOL!!!!! Laughing Out Loud Rolling Eyes



Ducks


lost post

Posted on: November 29 2004 @ 08:24 AM
By: jardan

Content:

I approved this message Oops! Oops!


lost post

Posted on: November 29 2004 @ 08:42 AM
By: ducks4me

Content:

[QUOTE BY= jardan] I approved this message Oops! Oops! [/QUOTE]



So it's your fault!!!!!!!! Laughing Out Loud



Ducks


lost post

Posted on: November 29 2004 @ 09:18 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

hey don't blame the new boss Wink


lost post

Posted on: November 29 2004 @ 11:26 PM
By: quailslayer

Content:

I think the fastest way to the last page is to post Eek!


lost post

Posted on: November 29 2004 @ 11:42 PM
By: fish

Content:

Quail slayer, I hope you havent been taking the long way to the last page everytime you view the lost post! Laughing Out Loud If you click the "arrow and peice of paper" icon next to the post title it will automaticly take you to the last page of any post, I had to learn that the lost post way as well, haha Laughing Out Loud


lost post

Posted on: November 30 2004 @ 07:46 AM
By: ducks4me

Content:

Yeah, but he took the responsibility. The buck stops there. LOL!!!!



Ducks


lost post

Posted on: December 01 2004 @ 09:31 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

don't let sleeping lost post lie


lost post

Posted on: December 01 2004 @ 09:39 PM
By: d00buck

Content:

Lost post never lie...fountain of truth!


lost post

Posted on: December 01 2004 @ 09:43 PM
By: deadeye01

Content:

well, its definetely a fountain of something, heck, some of it may even be truth, ya never know


lost post

Posted on: December 01 2004 @ 09:44 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Just think of the 'ice age', Would have taken one heII of an auger. Rolling Eyes


lost post

Posted on: December 01 2004 @ 10:20 PM
By: zela

Content:

participation points count.. all my teachers say


lost post

Posted on: December 01 2004 @ 10:48 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

The law calls that an accessary or accomplice.

Society calls it guilt by association. Big Grin


lost post

Posted on: December 01 2004 @ 11:42 PM
By: Mr.Pheasant

Content:

I found time to read thru the entire thing!!! Man I love my job. I've missed the lost post. I missed it's postiness. Ahh so comforting it is. This holiday season, I'm truely thankful for the lost post


lost post

Posted on: December 02 2004 @ 07:15 AM
By: ducks4me

Content:

One day I was in the middle of the most important speech of my life and then.......I had to go see a guy about a horse! Eek!



Ducks


lost post

Posted on: December 02 2004 @ 07:02 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Feel like a newborn, no teeth, no hair & I think I just wet myself. Eek!


lost post

Posted on: December 02 2004 @ 08:47 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

I have the no hair part,


lost post

Posted on: December 02 2004 @ 09:30 PM
By: Bigdog

Content:

$hit I just wet myself too. Eek!



David


lost post

Posted on: December 02 2004 @ 09:35 PM
By: quailslayer

Content:

Diapers or Depends Idea Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: December 03 2004 @ 10:57 AM
By: stubby

Content:

Do they make diapers in size 42?


lost post

Posted on: December 03 2004 @ 11:25 AM
By: ducks4me

Content:

Not sure, would that be size 42 or 4D2? Big Grin



Ducks


lost post

Posted on: December 03 2004 @ 09:29 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

DEPENDS on what you want


lost post

Posted on: December 03 2004 @ 10:46 PM
By: quailslayer

Content:

sm, m, lg, xl,xxl Eek!


lost post

Posted on: December 03 2004 @ 11:03 PM
By: Rooster

Content:

Words to live by quail slayer.



Just stopped in to see how the Lost Post was going. have not seen it in a couple of weeks.



Rooster


lost post

Posted on: December 03 2004 @ 11:03 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

There I was at 20,000', hanging on to the relief tube and the pilot p***ed me off. Rolling Eyes


lost post

Posted on: December 04 2004 @ 04:41 AM
By: ejensen

Content:

That don't sound good Eek!


lost post

Posted on: December 04 2004 @ 07:54 AM
By: ducks4me

Content:

I was to late...the horse had already died. Frown



Ducks


lost post

Posted on: December 04 2004 @ 10:02 AM
By: kenhump

Content:

She had long black hair, all the way down her back.

None on her head, just all the way down her back. Confused


lost post

Posted on: December 04 2004 @ 09:06 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

Mustang Sally Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: December 04 2004 @ 09:45 PM
By: birdslayer31

Content:

























































































































































































.


lost post

Posted on: December 04 2004 @ 09:46 PM
By: birdslayer31

Content:

sweet


lost post

Posted on: December 05 2004 @ 10:32 AM
By: MFlan

Content:

I'm going ice fishing right now!!!!!!!!!!!!


lost post

Posted on: December 05 2004 @ 06:00 PM
By: ducks4me

Content:

2+2=4 Only if you believe it does! Laughing Out Loud



Ducks


lost post

Posted on: December 05 2004 @ 07:07 PM
By: quailslayer

Content:

Eek! just thinking Question Re-try posting pics tomorrow with high speed capability Evil For I am LOST


lost post

Posted on: December 05 2004 @ 07:23 PM
By: ducks4me

Content:

Does that mean your trying to type faster? Laughing Out Loud



Ducks


lost post

Posted on: December 05 2004 @ 07:24 PM
By: MFlan

Content:

I got 3 stars Big Grin


lost post

Posted on: December 05 2004 @ 08:05 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

[QUOTE BY= ducks4me] 2+2=4 Only if you believe it does! Laughing Out Loud



Ducks[/QUOTE]



Unless Arthur Anderson is your accountant. Then it equals what ever you want it to equal..ken Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: December 05 2004 @ 08:51 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

I thought 1 and 1 was 11


lost post

Posted on: December 05 2004 @ 08:54 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

So does Arthur Anderson Laughing Out Loud


lost post

Posted on: December 06 2004 @ 03:19 AM
By: J-Ri

Content:

[QUOTE BY= birdslayer31]























































































































































































.[/QUOTE]



Very nice, I waited 2 beers for a page to load there. Then when I realized what was happening, I drank another beer. Can you do that 12 more times? Smile


lost post

Posted on: December 06 2004 @ 11:31 AM
By: deadeye01

Content:

oh, wow. the wisdom of the lost post, especially that well-thought, informative thesis by birdslayer. Rolling Eyes I have learned enough here to quit college and apply for a degree. Idea And all presesnted in such an entertaining format. they need to write textbooks like this.


lost post

Posted on: December 06 2004 @ 11:48 AM
By: DuckMan

Content:

We need snow


lost post

Posted on: December 06 2004 @ 08:32 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

50 degrees in December, arrgghhh where is the snow


lost post

Posted on: December 07 2004 @ 08:01 PM
By: CamperJack

Content:

Where's my post


lost post

Posted on: December 07 2004 @ 08:32 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Where'd you have it last Question


lost post

Posted on: December 07 2004 @ 08:39 PM
By: quailslayer

Content:

I handed it to the Post Master General Eek!


lost post

Posted on: December 07 2004 @ 08:39 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

here it is wait I lost it again


lost post

Posted on: December 07 2004 @ 08:42 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

If you can't find the post Jack, please fill in the hole so nobody steps in it. Laughing Out Loud


lost post

Posted on: December 07 2004 @ 08:57 PM
By: ejensen

Content:

Sitting home alone so bored I might as well put a post up here. Laughing Out Loud


lost post

Posted on: December 07 2004 @ 09:02 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

how can it be lost when it is found


lost post

Posted on: December 07 2004 @ 09:03 PM
By: deadeye01

Content:

DON'T MESS WITH GRANDMA





An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her voice, "I have a gun, and I know how to use it! Get out of the car!"



The four men didn't wait for a second invitation. They got out and ran like mad. The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into driver's seat. She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition. She tried and tried, and then it dawned on her why.



A few minutes later, she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down. She loaded her bags into the car and drove to the police station.. The sergeant to whom she told the story couldn't stop laughing.



He pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale men were reporting a car jacking by a mad, elderly woman described as white, less than five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair, and carrying a large handgun.



No charges were filed.


lost post

Posted on: December 07 2004 @ 09:09 PM
By: quailslayer

Content:

It has been lost and then found and then misplaced forever Wink


lost post

Posted on: December 07 2004 @ 09:09 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

A Christmas Tradition

When four of Santa's elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones, Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule.



Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her Mom was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more.



When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where. More stress.



Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked, and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys.



So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard he discovered that the elves had hidden the liquor, and there was nothing to drink. In his frustration he accidentally dropped the cider pot, and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw end of the broom.



Just then the doorbell rang, and irritable Santa trudged to the door. He opened the door and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree. The angel said very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't it a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?"



And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.


lost post

Posted on: December 09 2004 @ 09:10 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

if the lost post is in the forest and no one is around, is it lost or found


lost post

Posted on: December 10 2004 @ 10:15 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

NOTICE FROM NORTH AMERICAN FAIRIES

AND ELVES UNION LOCAL 210:











We regret to inform you that, effective immediately,

Santa Claus will no longer be able to serve the

Southern United States on Christmas Eve. Due to

the overwhelming current population of the earth,

his contract was renegotiated by North American

Fairies and Elves Local 210, and he now serves only

certain areas of Ohio, Indiana, Illinois, Wisconsin and Michigan.



keep that in mind. Your children will not be

ignored on Christmas Eve - they will be in the

good hands of your local replacement, Santa's

second cousin, Bubba Claus. His side of the family

is from the South Pole. He shares Santa's goal of

delivering toys to all the good boys and girls, however,

you may notice a few differences in the service. For example:



1. There is no danger of a Grinch stealing your presents

from Bubba Claus. He has a gun rack on his sleigh and

a bumper sticker that reads

"These toys insured by Smith and Wesson."



2. Instead of milk and cookies, Bubba Claus prefers

that children leave an RC cola and pork rinds or a

moon pie on the fireplace. And Bubba doesn't smoke

a pipe, though he dips a little snuff,

so please have an empty spit can handy.



3. Bubba Claus' sleigh is pulled by floppy-eared flyin'

coon dogs instead of reindeer. Reindeer were once

mistakenly issued to Bubba Claus, who now

has a couple more nice trophy heads over his fireplace.



4. You won't hear "On Comet, on Cupid, on

Donner and Blitzen ..." when Bubba Claus arrives.

Instead, you'll hear,

"On Earnhardt, on Wallace, on Martin and Petty...."



5. "Ho, ho, ho!" will be replaced by "Yee-haw!"

And you also are likely to hear Bubba's

elves respond in unison, "I hear'd dat!"



6. As required by Southern highway laws,

Bubba Claus' sleigh does have a Yosemite Sam

safety triangle on the back with the words "Back Off."

He also has a few other decorations

on his sleigh back as well, such as a string of flashing Christmas lights

around the license plate, and a caricature

of Santa Claus going wee-wee on the Tooth Fairy.



7. The usual Christmas movie classics such as

"Miracle on 34th Street" and "It's a Wonderful Life"

will not be shown in your negotiated viewing area.

Instead, you'll see "Boss Hogg Saves Christmas" and

"Smokey and the Bandit V" featuring Burt Reynolds

as Bubba Claus and dozens of state patrol cars

crashing into each other.



8. Bubba Claus doesn't wear a belt. You should make

sure that the wife and the kids turn the other

way when he bends over to put presents under the tree.



9. And finally, Christmas songs about Santa Claus,

such as "Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer" and

"Santa Claus Is Coming to Town" will be replaced

on all AM radio stations in the South by your new official Christmas carol,

"Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer."



YEE-HAW!!! MERRY CHRISTMAS!


lost post

Posted on: December 11 2004 @ 07:45 AM
By: ducks4me

Content:

hummallabebballahummallabebballazeballabop!



Ducks


lost post

Posted on: December 11 2004 @ 07:49 AM
By: jardan

Content:

Darn that Elves union!!!! Cry Cry


lost post

Posted on: December 11 2004 @ 07:51 AM
By: ducks4me

Content:

[QUOTE BY= jardan] Darn that Elves union!!!! Cry Cry [/QUOTE]



Don't you me REunion? LOL!!!!



Ducks


lost post

Posted on: December 11 2004 @ 07:54 AM
By: jardan

Content:

Evil Evil Scott aproved his message. LOL


lost post

Posted on: December 11 2004 @ 04:01 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

Bubba claus is the real deal,


lost post

Posted on: December 13 2004 @ 09:13 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

as a true and tried member of the lost post it is my duty to report nothing at all


lost post

Posted on: December 13 2004 @ 09:37 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

9:24pm, 8.5 degrees.


lost post

Posted on: December 13 2004 @ 09:42 PM
By: colbyjack

Content:

thanks for remindn me...........hehhehe i left the window box Air conditioner in and i can see the blinds moving. i need plastic i guess. thats what i get for being lazy in the fall not taking it out. -chris



supposed to be 11 here tonight davenport/rock island -chris


lost post

Posted on: December 13 2004 @ 09:55 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Just get the hose and spray water around the a/c, the ice will stop the draft. Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: December 13 2004 @ 10:45 PM
By: J-Ri

Content:

Awww. that's a cute picture Chris.... a baby with a gun Smile


lost post

Posted on: December 14 2004 @ 12:19 AM
By: basebklyn7

Content:

No Speaka de Englis:

A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an

animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first,

but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the

following: "Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I

come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee

twice. Then I come one lasta time".

"You foul-! mouthed, sex-obsessed SWINE," retorted the lady indignantly. "In

this country, we don't speak aloud in public places about our sex lives!!!"

"Hey coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa

tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."

I BET YOU READ THIS AGAIN!!!


lost post

Posted on: December 14 2004 @ 12:28 AM
By: basebklyn7

Content:


lost post

Posted on: December 14 2004 @ 12:33 AM
By: basebklyn7

Content:

These pick-up lines are hilarious!!!!!!

1. Your name must be Daisy, because I have the incredible urge to plant you right here!

2. Roses are red, violets are blue, I like spaghetti, let's go screw.

3. Just call me milk, I'll do your body good

4. Your body's name must be visa, because it's everywhere I want to be.

5. Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?

6. I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your Bed Rock.

7. I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you.

8. My love for you is like the energizer bunny; it keeps going and going....

9. That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd Abe coming too.

10. Yo Baby, you be my Dairy Queen, I'll be your Burger King, you treat me right, and I'll do it your way right away.

11. I'd like to screw your brains out, but it appears that someone beat me to it.

12. I enjoy doing maintenance; you look like someone I would like to "tinker" around with.

13. You must be from Pearl Harbour, cause baby you're the Bomb - diggity.

14. If you were a new hamburger at McDonald's, you would be McGorgeous.

15. Is that Windex? Because I can see myself in your pants.

16. I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher, have you seen one?

17. I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Walmart, so I could ride you all day long for a quarter.

18. Wanna Play House? You be the screen door and I'll slam you all night long.

19. If you're going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep until the afternoon.

20. Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a braille nametag.

21. If you were a car, I wax you and ride you all over town.

22. Guy: "Would you like to dance?" Girl: "I don't care for this song and surely wouldn't dance with you." Guy: "I'm sorry, you must have misunderstood me, I said you look fat in those pants"

23. Excuse me, do you have your phone number, I've seem to have lost mine.

24. I look good on you.

25. I'm new in town, could I have directions to your house.

26. If your left leg was Thanksgiving and your right leg Christmas, can I visit you between the Holidays?

27. You look like a girl that has heard every line in the book, so what's one more going to hurt?

28. *censored* me if I'm wrong, but is your name Yolanda?

29. I love every bone in your body especially mine.

30. Excuse me, do you wanna *censored*, or should I apologize.

31. You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.

32. Do you want to dance, No? Well I guess a *censored* is out of the question.

33. Hi, I'm a necrophiliac, how good are you at playing dead?

34. I lost my bed, can I borrow yours?

35. You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy.

36. My recipe for love is one cup of you, one cup of me, knead till hard, and serve hot.

37. Are your legs tired, because you've been running through my mind all day long?

38. You be the tree, and I'll wrap you like a Koala.

39. Hey baby, I'm like American Express, you don't want to leave home without me.

40. Do you have a quarter? My mother told me to call home when I met the girl of my dreams.

41. The word for the night is legs, let's go back to my room and spread the word.

42. Hey baby, what's your sign? Caution, slippery when wet, dangerous curves ahead, yield?

43. Hi my name is _______, remember it, cause you'll be screaming it all night long.

44. I can't find my puppy; can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.

45. Was you dad a farmer? Cause you sure have great melons.

46. Want to play conductor?? You be the engineer and I'll go Choochoo.

47. You must be Jelly, cause jam don't shake like that.

48. The fact that I'm missing my teeth just means that there's more room for your tongue.

49. Guy: "haven't I seen you someplace before?" Girl: "Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore"

50. Hi, my name is Skippy, like the peanut butter I stick to the roof of your mouth.

51. Hi, my name is Pogo, want to jump on my stick?

i hope these aren't too offensive... i found them quite humorous..


lost post

Posted on: December 14 2004 @ 12:45 AM
By: basebklyn7

Content:

A father and son went hunting together for the first time. The father said


lost post

Posted on: December 14 2004 @ 05:33 AM
By: Grouser

Content:

A penguin is driving through Arizona on a hot summer


lost post

Posted on: December 14 2004 @ 08:09 AM
By: ducks4me

Content:

Hey! Wh t k the ff my keyb ard?



Ducks


lost post

Posted on: December 14 2004 @ 08:59 AM
By: wingshooter

Content:

What do you you call a deer with no eyes?





No eye deer.


lost post

Posted on: December 14 2004 @ 10:40 AM
By: colbyjack

Content:

yeah thats colbys first gun. i bought him that .410 when he was born. i need to find some one to engave his name on it. -chris



ken i sprayed the window with water now the carpet is wet. how come you didnt tell me to spray the window from the out side...... just kidding


lost post

Posted on: December 14 2004 @ 09:28 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

here we go again


lost post

Posted on: December 15 2004 @ 12:17 AM
By: Bigdog

Content:

Ok what the hell is Ducks trying to say?



David


lost post

Posted on: December 15 2004 @ 06:44 AM
By: bigred6933

Content:

"Who took the O off my keyboard"


lost post

Posted on: December 15 2004 @ 08:17 AM
By: ccavacini

Content:

I hate to disagree....but I found your lost post...it's buried in my back yard. Was it about 3' high and colored blaze orange?


lost post

Posted on: December 15 2004 @ 08:34 AM
By: Tony

Content:

65 pages this thing has reached. Should you run out of teepee, you should consider printing out this thread as it will last you considerably longer than a roll of Charmin



;-)



--Tony


lost post

Posted on: December 15 2004 @ 08:42 AM
By: Larry Richard

Content:

welcome to lost post Tony. Where you been so long. I just caught up to date myself today, I've been at least 10 pages since I last reviewed the current status of this icon. doc


lost post

Posted on: December 15 2004 @ 09:46 AM
By: Ray R

Content:

Someone should call the Guiness Book of World Records and find out if this is the longest thread on a website Smile


lost post

Posted on: December 15 2004 @ 10:24 AM
By: deadeye01

Content:

how you gonna prove it. nobody can find the post. its lost.


lost post

Posted on: December 15 2004 @ 10:27 AM
By: 1down5up

Content:

I don't know where the end of this thread is but I just spent the last 5 minutes trying to find it. Oh well, have you kissed your Pit Bull today? I have.


lost post

Posted on: December 15 2004 @ 10:31 AM
By: quailslayer

Content:

Tony should put this in a time capsule, and let somebody find it a very long time from now Idea Then it won't be lost anymore.


lost post

Posted on: December 15 2004 @ 10:47 AM
By: river

Content:

Gee ducks, can I put Jim Dandy back up? Rolling Eyes


lost post

Posted on: December 15 2004 @ 12:22 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

If you get tools for Christmas.

What tools really do.



HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate expensive parts not far from the object we are trying to hit.



MECHANIC'S KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on boxes containing seats and motorcycle jackets.



ELECTRIC HAND DRILL: Normally used for spinning steel Pop rivets in their holes until you die of old age, but it also works great for drilling mounting holes in fenders just above the brake line that goes to the rear wheel.



PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads.



HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the original sin principle. It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.



VISE-GRIPS: Used to round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.



OXYACETYLENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable objects in your garage on fire. Also handy for igniting the grease inside a brake drum you're trying to get the bearing race out of.



WHITWORTH SOCKETS: Once used for working on older British cars and motorcycles, they are now used mainly for impersonating that 9/16" or

1/2" socket you've been searching for the last 15 minutes.



DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your coffee across the room, splattering it against that freshly painted part you were drying.



WIRE WHEEL: Cleans rust off old bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprint whorls and hard-earned guitar calluses in about the time it takes you to say, "Ouc...."



HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: Used for lowering a motorcycle to the ground after you have installed your new front disk brake setup, trapping the jack handle firmly under the front fender.



EIGHT-FOOT LONG DOUGLAS FIR 2X4: Used for levering a motorcycle upward off a hydraulic jack.



TWEEZERS: A tool for removing wood splinters.



PHONE: Tool for calling your neighbor to see if he has another hydraulic floor jack.



SNAP-ON GASKET SCRAPER: Theoretically useful as a sandwich tool for spreading mayonnaise; used mainly for getting dog-doo off your boot.



E-Z OUT BOLT AND STUD EXTRACTOR: A tool that snaps off in bolt holes and is ten times harder than any known drill bit.



TIMING LIGHT: A stroboscopic instrument for illuminating grease buildup.



TWO-TON HYDRAULIC ENGINE HOIST: A handy tool for testing the tensile strength of ground straps and brake lines you may have forgotten to disconnect.



CRAFTSMAN 1/2 x 16-INCH SCREWDRIVER: A large motor mount prying tool that inexplicably has an accurately machined screwdriver tip on the end without the handle.



BATTERY ELECTROLYTE TESTER: A handy tool for transferring sulfuric acid from a car battery to the inside of your toolbox after determining that your battery is dead as a doornail, just as you thought.



AVIATION METAL SNIPS: See hacksaw.



TROUBLE LIGHT: The mechanic's own tanning booth. Sometimes called a drop light, it is a good source of vitamin D, "the sunshine vitamin," which is not otherwise found under motorcycles at night. Health benefits aside, it's main purpose is to consume 40-watt light bulbs at about the same rate that 105-mm howitzer shells might be used during, say, the first few hours of the Battle of the Bulge. More often dark than light, its name is somewhat misleading.



PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the lids of old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splash oil on your shirt; can also be used, as the name implies, to round off Phillips screw heads.



AIR COMPRESSOR: A machine that takes energy produced in a coal-burning power plant 200 miles away and transforms it into compressed air that travels by hose to a Chicago Pneumatic impact wrench that grips rusty bolts last tightened 40 years ago by someone in Sindelfingen, and rounds them off.



PRY BAR: A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part.



HOSE CUTTER: A tool used to cut hoses 1/2 inch too short.

Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: December 15 2004 @ 10:53 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

The late, great, Rodney Dangerfield's 21 Best 1 Liners



1. I was so poor growing up ... if I wasn't a boy ... I'd have had nothing to play with.



2. A girl phoned me the other day and said, "Come on over; nobody's home." I went over. Nobody was home.



3. During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel.



4. One day I came home early from work ... I saw a guy jogging naked. I said to the guy, "Hey buddy, why are you doing that?" He said "Because you came home early."



5. Its been a rough day. I got up this morning ... put a shirt on and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase, and the handle came off. I'm afraid to go to the bathroom.



6. I was such an ugly kid...When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.



7. I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and radio.



8. I was such an ugly baby...My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend.



9. I'm so ugly...My father carries around a picture of the kid who came with his wallet.



10. When I was born, the doctor came into the waiting room and said to my father, "I'm sorry. We did everything we could, but he pulled through."



11. I'm so ugly...My mother had morning sickness...AFTER I was born.



12. I remember the time that I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.



13. Once when I was lost, I saw a policeman, and asked him to help me find my parents. I said to him, "Do you think we'll ever find them?" He said, "I don't know kid. There's so many places they can hide."



14. My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday.



15. I'm so ugly...I worked in a pet shop, and people kept asking how big I'd get.



16. I went to see my doctor. "Doctor, every morning when I get up and I look in the mirror...I feel like throwing up; What's wrong with me?" He said..."I don't know but your eyesight is perfect."



17. I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.



18. With my old man I got no respect. I asked him, "How can I get my kite in the air?" He told me to run off a cliff.



19. Some dog I got. We call him Egypt because in every room he leaves a pyramid. His favorite bone is in my arm. Last night he went on the paper four times -three of those times I was reading it.



20. One year they wanted to make me poster boy - for birth control.



21. My uncle's dying wish was to have me sitting in his lap; he was in the electric chair.

Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: December 16 2004 @ 11:18 AM
By: colbyjack

Content:

if theres no ice at the ice outting, is it a little musky outting then?-chris


lost post

Posted on: December 16 2004 @ 11:46 AM
By: Mr.Flathead1

Content:

The wife belongs to a forum that has a thread with over 20000 posts. Now where did I put it? Wink


lost post

Posted on: December 16 2004 @ 12:21 PM
By: quailslayer

Content:

Eek! I lost a post on this page Question


lost post

Posted on: December 16 2004 @ 12:56 PM
By: bigred6933

Content:

[QUOTE BY= Mr.Flathead1] The wife belongs to a forum that has a thread with over 20000 posts. Now where did I put it? Wink [/QUOTE]



Somehow I have visions of Tony having a heart attack at the thought of that... Wink

Mark


lost post

Posted on: December 16 2004 @ 09:24 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

maybe if we can find it it will still be around at the 10th anniversary Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: December 17 2004 @ 05:42 AM
By: Mr.Flathead1

Content:

Yea some where along the line before it reached 20000 they all sent a dollar in and the one that hit 20000 got the prize ( the wife missed it by 2 ) Dont know what the amount was . Well there`s a goal for us . Everybody make sure you send Tony a donation for the site : He`s gonna need it to buy somemore space ... Jeff Big Grin Wink


lost post

Posted on: December 17 2004 @ 08:56 AM
By: WALLEYES_ONLY

Content:

WOW THE LOST POST IS STILL ACTIVE....LOL


lost post

Posted on: December 17 2004 @ 09:58 AM
By: ducks4me

Content:

It was 3 years to the day. Hard to believe something so incredible could have happened on exactly the same day 3 years laters. We were so surprised.....and delighted to even say we were a part of it once let alone twice. Most people live for that moment and never get a chance to see it. It was incredible. Hope you all get the same chance we did....at least once. Big Grin



Ducks


lost post

Posted on: December 17 2004 @ 09:04 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

ditto


lost post

Posted on: December 19 2004 @ 02:23 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Leroy The Redneck Reindeer



Well, you've all heard the story

About Rudolph and his nose

But I'll tell you a Christmas tale

That never has been told

You may think you've heard it all

But you ain't heard nothing yet

About that crazy Christmas

The North Pole can't forget



Well, Rudolph was under the weather

He had to call in sick

So he got on the horn to his cousin

Leroy Who lived out in the sticks

He said "Santa's really countin' on me

And I hate to pass the buck"

Leroy said "Hey, I'm on my way"

And he jumped in his pickup truck



When Leroy got to the North Pole

All the reindeer snickered and laughed

They'd never seen a reindeer in overalls

And a John Deere tractor hat

Santa jumped in and said "Just hold on

Cause we've all got a job to do

And like it or not, Leroy's in charge

And he's gonna be leadin' you"



And it was Leroy, the Redneck Reindeer

Hooked to the front of the sleigh

Deliverin' toys to all the good ole boys

And girls along the way

He's just a down home, party-animal

Two-stepping across the sky

He mixed jingle bells with a rebel yell

And made history that night



Before that night was over

Leroy had changed their tune

He had'em scootin' a hoof on every roof

By the light of the neon moon

Santa wrapped his bag with a dixie-flag

He was havin the time of his life

And you could hear him call

"Merry Christmas to ya'll"

"Ya Hear" Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: December 19 2004 @ 02:29 PM
By: ejensen

Content:

Well it's a little early but Merry Christmas to all Exclaimation Big Grin


lost post

Posted on: December 19 2004 @ 08:34 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

Here's wishing a Merry Christmas to all Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: December 20 2004 @ 06:50 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Christmas carols for the psychiatrically challenged!



Multiple Personality Disorder --- We Three Queens Disoriented Are



Amnesia --- I Don't Know if I'll be Home for Christmas



Narcissistic --- Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me



Manic --- Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and Fire Hydrants and ...



Paranoid --- Santa Claus is Coming to Get Me



Borderline Personality Disorder --- Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire



Personality Disorder --- You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll tell You Why



Obsessive Compulsive Disorder ---Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells ...



Agoraphobia --- I Heard the Bells on Chr istmas Day But Wouldn't Leave My House



Senile Dementia --- Walking in a Winter Wonderland Miles From My House in My Slippers and Robe



Oppositional Defiant Disorder --- I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus So I Burned Down the House



Social Anxiety Disorder --- Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas While I Sit Here and Hyperventilate



Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: December 22 2004 @ 07:14 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Two guys are wandering about in Wal-Mart when their carts collide.



One says to the other: "Sorry, I was looking for my wife."



"Yeah, so am I, and I'm getting kinda pissed."



"Well, let's help each other out. What's your wife look like?"



"Kinda tall, long blonde hair, long legs, good boobs, tight butt.



What's yours look like?"



"Never mind, let's look for yours." Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: December 22 2004 @ 08:45 PM
By: Bigdog

Content:

Now thats funny. Laughing Out Loud



David


lost post

Posted on: December 22 2004 @ 09:21 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

we three kings of oriantar smoking on a rubber cigar one was loaded and exploded, we two kings of oriantar smoking on a rubber cigar one was loaded and exploded, I one of oriantar smoking on a rubber cigar one was loaded and exploded, Silent night.


lost post

Posted on: December 23 2004 @ 11:51 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

THE YEAR'S BEST [actual] HEADLINES OF 2004:

Crack Found on Governor's Daughter [imagine that!]



Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says [no, really?]



Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers [now that's taking things a bit far!]



Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus? [not if I wipe thoroughly!]



Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over [what a guy!]



Miners Refuse to Work after Death [no-good-for-nothin' lazy so-and-sos!]



Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant [see if that works any better than a fair trial!]



War Dims Hope for Peace [I can see where it might have that effect!]



If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile [you think?!]



Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures [who would have thought!]



Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide [they may be on to something!]



Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges [you mean there's something stronger than duct tape?!]



Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge [he probably IS the battery charge!]



New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group [weren't they fat enough?!]



Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft [That's what he gets for eating those beans!]



Kids Make Nutritious Snacks [Taste like chicken?]



Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half [Chainsaw Massacre all over again!]



Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors [Boy, are they tall!]



And the winner is.... Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: December 24 2004 @ 08:18 AM
By: ducks4me

Content:

Golf.......anyone? Big Grin



Ducks


lost post

Posted on: December 24 2004 @ 08:47 AM
By: vettefanatic

Content:

Just thought you'd like to know I joined PETA today and signed up as a democrat Big Grin





Just kiddin, I'm a republican.


lost post

Posted on: December 24 2004 @ 08:47 AM
By: ducks4me

Content:

Come on guys! It's only -9.2 degrees in Mantown this morning. And I don't think the heavy stuff is going to come down for quite a while. How about a quick round?



Ducks


lost post

Posted on: December 24 2004 @ 10:05 AM
By: quailslayer

Content:

-10 degrees in Colorado right now plus 3in of the white stuff= a round with neon balls Eek! and a stocking cap of course Idea


lost post

Posted on: December 24 2004 @ 10:11 AM
By: ducks4me

Content:

Orange, heated golf balls, stocking hat and a thermos......I'm in!! What time? Laughing Out Loud Laughing Out Loud



Ducks


lost post

Posted on: December 26 2004 @ 09:15 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

we wish you a merry christmas wait that was yesterday. Happy New year Big Grin


lost post

Posted on: December 28 2004 @ 08:22 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

A man's car broke down as he was driving past a beautiful old monastery. He walked up the drive and knocked on the front door. A monk answered, listened to the man's story and graciously invited him to spend the night.

The monks fed the man and led him to a tiny chamber in which to sleep. The man thanked the monks and slept serenely until he was awakened by a strange and beautiful sound.



The next morning, as the monks were repairing his car, he asked about the sound that had woke him.



"We're sorry," the monks said. "We can't tell you about the sound. You're not a monk."



The man was disappointed, but eager to be gone, so he thanked the monks for their kindness and went on his way. During quiet moments afterward, the man pondered the source of the alluring sound. Several years later the man

happened to be driving in the same area. He stopped at the monastery on a whim and asked admittance. He explained to the monks that he had so enjoyed his previous stay, he wondered if he might be permitted to spend another night under their peaceful roof. The monks agreed, and so the man stayed with them again.



Late that night, he heard the strange beautiful sound. The following morning he begged the monks to explain the sound. The monks gave him the same answeras before.



"We're sorry. We can't tell you about the sound. You're not a monk."



By now the man's curiosity had turned to obsession. He decided to give up everything and become a monk, for that was the only way he could learn about the sound. He informed the monks of his decision and began the long and arduous task of becoming a monk. Seventeen years later, the man was finally established as a true member of the order.



When the celebration ended, he humbly went to the leader of the order and asked to be told the source of the sound.



Silently, the old monk led the new monk to a huge wooden door. He opened the door with a golden key. That door swung open to reveal a second door of silver, then a third of gold and so on until they had passed through twelve doors, each more magnificent than the last. The new monk's face was awash with tears of joy as he finally beheld the wondrous source of the beautiful mysterious sound he had heard so many years before..........



































































But, I can't tell you what it was. You're not a monk. Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: December 28 2004 @ 08:37 PM
By: walleye wisdom

Content:

when will this warm weather go away!!!! I'm soooooooo sick of it!


lost post

Posted on: December 28 2004 @ 08:42 PM
By: ejensen

Content:

Thanks Ken Confused


lost post

Posted on: December 28 2004 @ 08:55 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

A real 'knee slapper' huh Ed? Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: December 28 2004 @ 09:06 PM
By: ejensen

Content:

I admit that was good. Laughing Out Loud


lost post

Posted on: December 28 2004 @ 09:07 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

Laughing Out Loud Laughing Out Loud


lost post

Posted on: December 28 2004 @ 10:24 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Reminded me of the original 'Shaggy Dog' story, but I promise I won't go there. Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: December 29 2004 @ 09:05 AM
By: dtniday

Content:

here I sit broken hearted come to whoops Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: December 31 2004 @ 07:37 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

> Here are some conversations that the airline passengers don't hear. The following are accounts of actual exchanges between airline pilots and control towers around the world.

>

>

> =============================================

>

>

> Tower: "Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock , 6 miles!"

>

>

> Delta 351: "Give us another hint! We have digital watches!"

>

>

> =============================================

>

>

> "TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 Degrees."

>

>

> "Centre, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?"

>

>

> "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?"

>

>

> ==============================================

>

>

> From an unknown aircraft waiting in a very long takeoff queue: "I'm f...ing bored!"

>

>

> Ground Traffic Control: "Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself immediately!"

>

>

> Unknown aircraft: "I said I was f... ing bored, not f... ing stupid!"

>

>

> ==============================================

>

>

> O'Hare Approach Control to a 747: "United 329 heavy, your traffic is a Fokker, one o'clock, three miles, Eastbound."

>

>

> United 239: "Approach, I've always wanted to say this... I've got the little Fokker in sight."

>

>

> ==============================================

>

>

> A student became lost during a solo cross-country flight. While attempting to locate the aircraft on radar, ATC asked, "What was your last known position?"

>

>

> Student: "When I was number one for takeoff."

>

>

> ==============================================

>

>

> A DC-10 had come in a little hot and thus had an exceedingly long roll out after touching down. San Jose Tower Noted: "American 751, make a hard right turn at the end of the runway, if you are able. If you are not able, take the Guadalupe exit off Highway 101, make a right at the lights and return to the airport."

>

>

> ===============================================

>

>

> There's a story about the military pilot calling for a priority landing because his single-engine jet fighter was running "a bit peaked." Air Traffic Control told the fighter jock that he was number two, behind a B-52 that had one engine shut down. "Ah," the fighter pilot remarked, "The dreaded seven-engine approach."

>

>

> ===============================================

>

>

> Taxiing down the tarmac, a DC-10 abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate. After an hour-long wait, it finally took off. A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What, exactly, was the problem?"

>

>

> "The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine," explained the flight attendant.

>

>

> "It took us a while to find a new pilot."

>

>

> ===============================================

>

>

> A Pan Am 727 flight waiting for start clearance in Munich overheard the following:

>

>

> Lufthansa (in German): "Ground, what is our start clearance time?"

>

>

> Ground (in English): "If you want an answer you must speak in English."

>

>

> Lufthansa (in English): "I am a German, flying a German airplane, in Germany. Why must I speak English?"

>

>

> Unknown voice from another plane (in a beautiful British accent): "Because you lost the bloody war."

>

>

> ===============================================

>

>

> Tower: "Eastern 702, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on frequency 124.7"

>

>

> Eastern 702: "Tower, Eastern 702 switching to Departure. By the way, after we lifted off we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of the runway."

>

>

> Tower: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff behind Eastern 702, contact Departure on frequency 124.7. Did you copy that report from Eastern 702?"

>

>

> Continental 635: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff, roger; and yes, we copied Eastern... we've already notified our caterers."

>

>

> ==================================================

>

>

> One day the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold short of the active runway while a DC-8 landed. The DC-8 landed, rolled out, turned around, and taxied back past the Cherokee.

>

>

> Some quick-witted comedian in the DC-8 crew got on the radio and said, "What a cute little plane. Did you make it all by yourself?"

>

>

> The Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by, came back with a real zinger: "I made it out of DC-8 parts. Another landing like yours and I'll have enough parts for another one."

>

>

>

>

>

> AND SAVING THE BEST TWO FOR LAST:

>

>

>

>

>

> The German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are renowned as a short-tempered lot. They not only expect one to know one's gate parking location, but how to get there without any assistance from them. So it was with some amusement that we (a Pan Am 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a British Airways 747, call sign Speedbird 206.

>

>

> Speedbird 206: " Frankfurt , Speedbird 206 clear of active runway."

>

>

> Ground: "Speedbird 206. Taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven."

>

>

> The BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop.

>

>

> Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?"

>

>

> Speedbird 206: "Stand by, Ground, I'm looking up our gate location now."

>

>

> Ground (with quite arrogant impatience): "Speedbird 206, have you not been to Frankfurt before?"

>

>

> Speedbird 206 (coolly): "Yes, twice in 1944, but it was dark, -- and I didn't land."

>

>

> =================================================

>

>

> While taxiing at London 's Gatwick Airport, the crew of a US Air flight departing for Ft. Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose to nose with a United 727. An irate female ground controller lashed out at the US Air crew, screaming: "US Air 2771, where the hell are you going?! I told you to turn right onto Charlie taxiway! You turned right on Delta! Stop right there. I know it's difficult for you to tell the difference between C and D, but get it right!"

>

>

> Continuing her rage to the embarrassed crew, she was now shouting hysterically: "God! Now you've screwed everything up! It'll take forever to sort this out! You stay right there and don't move till I tell you to! You can expect progressive taxi instructions in about half an hour and I want you to go exactly where I tell you, when I tell you, and how I tell you! You got that, US Air 2771?"

>

>

> "Yes, ma'am," the humbled crew responded.

>

>

> Naturally, the ground control communications frequency fell terribly silent after the verbal bashing of US Air 2771. Nobody wanted to chance engaging the irate ground controller in her current state of mind. Tension in every *censored*pit out around Gatwick was definitely running high.

>

>

> Just then an unknown pilot broke the silence and keyed his microphone, asking: "Wasn't I married to you once?"

>

>










lost post

Posted on: January 01 2005 @ 12:05 AM
By: NEIAIceMan

Content:

Very nice Ken....I enjoyed those!



Shane


lost post

Posted on: January 01 2005 @ 12:20 AM
By: meps1sg

Content:

Lost post continues on into 2005 HAPPY NEW YEAR IOWA OUTDOOORS


lost post

Posted on: January 01 2005 @ 12:48 AM
By: kenhump

Content:

Shane, after 30 in aviation, (18 as a controller) you wouldn't believe some of the stories. ken Mr. Green

2004 is dead, long live 2005.


lost post

Posted on: January 01 2005 @ 09:04 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

Happy new year, may the fish bite, and the animals fall before you sights.


lost post

Posted on: January 01 2005 @ 09:08 PM
By: ejensen

Content:

May everyone fill there tags and catch or shoot there limit in"05". Big Grin


lost post

Posted on: January 01 2005 @ 09:10 PM
By: VikeFan

Content:

Ya know, when we pay attention to this thing, we only keep it going.


lost post

Posted on: January 01 2005 @ 09:21 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

AIR FORCE MAINTENANCE CREWS



Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by US Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews.



Problem: "Left inside main tire almost needs replacement."

Solution: "Almost replaced left inside main tire."



Problem: "Test flight OK, except autoland very rough."

Solution: "Autoland not installed on this aircraft."



Problem: "The autopilot doesn't."

Signed off: "IT DOES NOW."



Problem: "Something loose in *censored*pit."

Solution: "Something tightened in *censored*pit."



Problem: "Evidence of hydraulic leak on right main landing gear."

Solution: "Evidence removed."



Problem: "DME volume unbelievably loud."

Solution: "Volume set to more believable level."



Problem: "Dead bugs on windshield."

Solution: "Live bugs on order."



Problem: "Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent."

Solution: "Cannot reproduce problem on ground."



Problem: "IFF inoperative."

Solution: "IFF inoperative in OFF mode."



Problem: "Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick."

Solution: "That's what they're there for."



Problem: "Number three engine missing."

Solution: "Engine found on right wing after brief search." Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: January 01 2005 @ 10:09 PM
By: river

Content:

May the roof over our head never fall in, and the friendship gathered here ever fall out.



Happy New Year.

River


lost post

Posted on: January 01 2005 @ 10:40 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

HAPPY NEW YEAR, GO HAWKS


lost post

Posted on: January 01 2005 @ 11:39 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

REDNECK JEDI



You ever heard the phrase, "May the force be with y'all."

Your Jedi robe is camouflage.

You have ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Bud Light.

At least one wing of your X-Wing is primer colored.

You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.

You have ever had a land-speeder up on blocks in your yard.

The worst part of spending time on Dagobah is the dadgum skeeters.

Wookiees are offended by your B.O.

You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to wait for a commercial.

You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing/bowling.

Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son come on over to the dark side...it'll be a hoot."

You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to get the barbecue grill to light.

You have a confederate flag painted on the hood of your land-speeder.

You ever fantasized about Princess Leah wearing Daisy Duke shorts.

You have the doors of your X-wing welded shut and you have to get in through the window.

You have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca.

You suggested that they outfit the Millennium Falcon with redwood decking.

You were the only person drinking Jack Daniels during the cantina scene.

If you hear . . . "Luke, I am your father ... and your uncle" Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: January 01 2005 @ 11:51 PM
By: WaxieWesser

Content:

That fence is never gonna get finished if we can't find that lost post.... Rolling Eyes


lost post

Posted on: January 02 2005 @ 12:29 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Burma Shave Memories



Trains don't wander

All over the map

'Cause nobody sits

In the engineer's lap

Burma Shave



She kissed the hairbrush

By mistake

She thought it was

Her husband Jake

Use Burma Shave



Remember these? For those who never saw the Burma shave signs, here is a quick lesson in our history of the 1930s and '40's. Before the Interstates, when everyone drove the old 2 lane roads, Burma Shave signs would be posted all over the countryside in farmers' fields. They were small red signs with white letters. Five signs, about 100 feet apart, each containing 1 line of a 4 line couplet and the obligatory 5th sign advertising Burma Shave, a popular shaving cream. Here are more of the actual signs:



DON'T LOSE YOUR HEAD

TO GAIN A MINUTE

YOU NEED YOUR HEAD

YOUR BRAINS ARE IN IT

Burma Shave



DROVE TOO LONG

DRIVER SNOOZING

WHAT HAPPENED NEXT

IS NOT AMUSING

Burma Shave



BROTHER SPEEDER

LET'S REHEARSE

ALL TOGETHER

GOOD MORNING NURSE

Burma Shave



SPEED WAS HIGH

WEATHER WAS NOT

TIRES WERE THIN

X MARKS THE SPOT

Burma Shave



THE MIDNIGHT RIDE

OF PAUL FOR BEER

LED TO A WARMER

HEMISPHERE

Burma Shave



AROUND THE CURVE

LICKETY-SPLIT

ITS A BEAUTIFUL CAR

WASN'T IT?

Burma Shave



NO MATTER THE PRICE

NO MATTER HOW NEW

THE BEST SAFETY DEVICE

IN THE CAR IS YOU

Burma Shave



A GUY WHO DRIVES

A CAR WIDE OPEN

IS NOT THINKIN'

HE'S JUST HOPIN'

Burma Shave



AT INTERSECTIONS

LOOK EACH WAY

A HARP SOUNDS NICE

BUT ITS HARD TO PLAY

Burma Shave



BOTH HANDS ON THE WHEEL

EYES ON THE ROAD

THAT'S THE SKILLFUL

DRIVER'S CODE

Burma Shave



THE ONE WHO DRIVES

WHEN HE'S BEEN DRINKING

DEPENDS ON THE CAR

TO DO HIS THINKING

Burma Shave



CAR IN DITCH

DRIVER IN TREE

THE MOON WAS FULL

AND SO WAS HE.

Burma Shave



And the all time favorite:



PASSING SCHOOL ZONE

TAKE IT SLOW

LET OUR LITTLE

SHAVERS GROW

Burma Shave



Do these bring back memories??

If not, you are such a child.

If they do, you're older than dirt, like me!

Have a great day! Still young at heart! Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: January 02 2005 @ 02:04 PM
By: vettefanatic

Content:

hey ken hump

I worked avionics & flight controls on the B-1 for 4 yrs. The pilots would hate it when we did that kinda stuff. And i have been called up on a redball(preflight check gone bad) where the pilot told me it didn't work in official mode aka off! Laughing Out Loud Rolling Eyes


lost post

Posted on: January 02 2005 @ 05:41 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

VF, I have a letter and some other 'stuff' I got in the early 80s for some 'support' I did on the B1'A'. I think they only built 3 and crashed one of those. ken Wink


lost post

Posted on: January 03 2005 @ 08:38 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

I have another one to add to the lost post as soon as I can find it


lost post

Posted on: January 03 2005 @ 11:56 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

this is my last post on the lost post


lost post

Posted on: January 03 2005 @ 11:57 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

just kidding


lost post

Posted on: January 03 2005 @ 11:58 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

I need to get to my fifth star somday


lost post

Posted on: January 04 2005 @ 12:02 AM
By: bigboyd

Content:

I would tell a joke on here if I knew a clean one. Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: January 04 2005 @ 09:33 AM
By: Hazmat

Content:

How many posts does it take to get that 5th star, anyway? Like it matters... Rolling Eyes


lost post

Posted on: January 04 2005 @ 09:34 AM
By: Hazmat

Content:

...obviously more than 331, huh, bigboyd?


lost post

Posted on: January 04 2005 @ 09:51 AM
By: d00buck

Content:

I could tell ya, but then I'd hafta kill ya! Laughing Out Loud


lost post

Posted on: January 04 2005 @ 10:10 AM
By: Fetch Em Up

Content:

I hate to even be a part of this, but it is my 100th post. Let's kill this thing!!! Twisted Evil


lost post

Posted on: January 04 2005 @ 08:32 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Lion tamers



A circus owner runs an ad for a lion tamer and

two people show up. One is a good looking

older man in his mid-sixties and the other is a

gorgeous blonde in her mid-twenties.



The circus owner tells them, "I'm not going to

sugar coat it. This is one ferocious lion. He ate

my last tamer so you guys better be good or

you're history. Here's your equipment -- chair,

whip and a gun. Who wants to try out first?"



The girl says, "I'll go first."



She walks past the chair, the whip and the gun

and steps right into the lion's cage. The lion

starts to snarl and pant. But she just opens her coat

revealing her beautiful naked body.



The lion stops dead in his tracks, sheepishly crawls up

to her and starts licking her feet and ankles.

He continues to lick and kiss her entire body

for several minutes and then rests his head at

her feet.



The circus owner's mouth is on the floor.

He says, "I've never seen a display like that in

my life." He then turns to the older man and asks,

"Can you top that?"



The older man replies, "No problem, just get that

lion out of the way." Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: January 04 2005 @ 09:27 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

it is still growing like a fish story


lost post

Posted on: January 04 2005 @ 10:14 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

This ones good, BUT you should have seen the one that got away. Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: January 05 2005 @ 12:43 AM
By: bigboyd

Content:

you should have seen how they were biting the last time I was here!!!


lost post

Posted on: January 05 2005 @ 08:51 AM
By: Hazmat

Content:

man...that was pretty bad... Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: January 05 2005 @ 09:18 AM
By: ejensen

Content:

Who wants to be the lion? Rolling Eyes


lost post

Posted on: January 06 2005 @ 08:55 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

how about the witch or the wardrobe


lost post

Posted on: January 07 2005 @ 08:28 AM
By: Hazmat

Content:

just can't help meownself...


lost post

Posted on: January 08 2005 @ 03:37 AM
By: J-Ri

Content:

Got a popcorn kernel stuck between my teeth.... I hate that so much.


lost post

Posted on: January 08 2005 @ 06:54 AM
By: bigboyd

Content:

get a toothpick


lost post

Posted on: January 08 2005 @ 10:51 AM
By: bucktail

Content:

It's been a while since I heard Elvis, but on the radio this morning...



We can't go on together....

With suspicious miiiiinds........



You can't stop the King.


lost post

Posted on: January 08 2005 @ 11:05 AM
By: DrewFrdrch

Content:

WEIRD Rolling Eyes


lost post

Posted on: January 08 2005 @ 02:46 PM
By: J-Ri

Content:

I saw Elvis last week, he was wearing a white suit and sunglasses.


lost post

Posted on: January 09 2005 @ 02:21 AM
By: J-Ri

Content:

Ya, sure, nobody responds just becasue y'all probably think I'm CRAZY!!!! Twisted Evil


lost post

Posted on: January 09 2005 @ 08:36 AM
By: farson

Content:



State side in 45


lost post

Posted on: January 09 2005 @ 08:47 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

here's to the lost post Razz Big Grin


lost post

Posted on: January 09 2005 @ 08:50 PM
By: ejensen

Content:

Long live the lost post!


lost post

Posted on: January 10 2005 @ 09:54 PM
By: Rooster

Content:

Man I have not even looked at this thing forever.





This is a bump for tconner who requested it be bumbped back up.





Twisted Evil Twisted Evil Twisted Evil Twisted Evil Twisted Evil Twisted Evil

Rooster


lost post

Posted on: January 10 2005 @ 10:28 PM
By: bigred6933

Content:

[QUOTE BY= J-Ri] I saw Elvis last week, he was wearing a white suit and sunglasses.[/QUOTE]



HE'S ALIVE!!! Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: January 10 2005 @ 11:12 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

I hear voices of elvis in my head


lost post

Posted on: January 11 2005 @ 08:55 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

I saw him behind the counter at 7-11


lost post

Posted on: January 11 2005 @ 09:42 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Nah, that was Osama.

WHEN YOUR NOT THE LEAD DAWG THE VIEW NEVER CHANGES!


lost post

Posted on: January 11 2005 @ 09:58 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

I still hear him


lost post

Posted on: January 11 2005 @ 10:00 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

did somone leave the radio on?


lost post

Posted on: January 11 2005 @ 10:03 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

BB, your not livin to near the highlines are u? Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: January 11 2005 @ 11:09 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

I think so ...............................I can't remember








lost post

Posted on: January 12 2005 @ 12:00 AM
By: WaxieWesser

Content:

If a tree falls in the forest, and there is nobody there to hear it......

does Elvis still make a sound?

Rolling Eyes


lost post

Posted on: January 12 2005 @ 07:55 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

but the real question is does the blue suede shoes step in the bear sh*&t


lost post

Posted on: January 12 2005 @ 08:51 PM
By: Tony

Content:

Actually I saw Elvis, Tupac and Biggie. Elvis was getting educated on rap music...he might 'borrow' some of that for some of his songs?


lost post

Posted on: January 12 2005 @ 09:21 PM
By: NEIAIceMan

Content:

Wow you know the lost post has gone big time when Tony gets involved Smile


lost post

Posted on: January 12 2005 @ 10:12 PM
By: Bigdog

Content:

In Tony's defense that is not his first posting on the Lost Post. Hell It ain't lost I just found it. Eek!



David


lost post

Posted on: January 12 2005 @ 10:15 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Sorry fellas, Elvis is dead and after an hour & a half in the dentist chair today, I ain't feeling so great either. Frown


lost post

Posted on: January 12 2005 @ 10:46 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

The difference between the Air Force and the Boy Scouts. One has adult leadership and is allowed to carry knives. Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: January 12 2005 @ 10:47 PM
By: birdslayer31

Content:

Yea ken you don't look so good today.


lost post

Posted on: January 13 2005 @ 08:36 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

BS, I'm doing better today. I was suffering from a mild case of optorectumitis yesterday. Optic nerve and rectal nerve got crossed and pretty much affected my outlook on life. Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: January 14 2005 @ 11:31 AM
By: ejensen

Content:

In the beginning was the Plan.

2. And then came the Assumptions.

3. And the Assumptions were without form.

4. And the plan was without Substance.

5. And darkness was upon the face of the Workers.

6. And they spoke among thenselves saying, "It is a crock of shit and it stinks."

7. And the Workers went unto there Supervisors and said, It is a pail of dung and we

can't live with the smell."

8. And the Supervisors went unto their Managers saying, "It is a container of organic waste,

and it is very strong, such that none may abide by it."

9. And theManagers went unto their Directors saying, "It is a vessel of fertilizer, and none

may abide its strength."

10. And the Directors spoke among themselves, saying to one another, "It contains that which

aids plant grouth, and it is very strong."

11. And the Directors went to the Vice Presidents, saying unto them, "It promotes growth,

and it is very powerful."

12. And the Vice Presidents went to the President, saying unto him, "This new plan will

actively promote the growth and vigor of the Company with very powerful effects."

13. And the President looked upon the Plan and saw that it was good.

14. And the plan became Policy.

15. And that is how CRAP happens.


lost post

Posted on: January 14 2005 @ 09:44 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

here I am again, almost to the magical 1000 Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: January 14 2005 @ 09:48 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Chinese proverb: Many men smoke but foo men choo. Laughing Out Loud


lost post

Posted on: January 14 2005 @ 09:51 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

1400


lost post

Posted on: January 14 2005 @ 09:56 PM
By: bigred6933

Content:

[QUOTE BY= kenhump] Sorry fellas, Elvis is dead and after an hour & a half in the dentist chair today, I ain't feeling so great either. Frown [/QUOTE]



Nahh, I met Elvis a couple of years ago; he is running a truck stop out in Nebraska; all of us who have basked in his precense are sworn to secrecy as to which one. Serves KILLER mash potatoes though. Mr. Green

Mark


lost post

Posted on: January 14 2005 @ 10:08 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

That the dude at Sapp bros? Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: January 17 2005 @ 01:10 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

For lost post members only.

http://zapatopi.net/afdb.html#2


lost post

Posted on: January 17 2005 @ 01:17 PM
By: quailslayer

Content:

Is yours on right now?


lost post

Posted on: January 17 2005 @ 01:27 PM
By: ejensen

Content:

I just got mine made thanks for the heads up Ken. Eek!


lost post

Posted on: January 17 2005 @ 02:18 PM
By: kipp

Content:

i'm not even going to ask what ken was looking for when he found that site. that being said, mine is almost finished.


lost post

Posted on: January 17 2005 @ 03:38 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Duct tape headband. Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: January 17 2005 @ 04:07 PM
By: bowsandreels

Content:

Hey Ken, those are the kind of sites you might want to keep to yourself Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: January 17 2005 @ 04:15 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

I know we have a few folks been exposed to way to much 'high voltage'. Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: January 17 2005 @ 08:42 PM
By: kenhump

Content:



THINGS THAT HALLMARK CARDS DON'T SAY





My tire was thumping.



I thought it was flat



When I looked at the tire...



I noticed your cat.



Sorry!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Heard your wife left you,



How upset you must be.



But don't fret about it...



She moved in with me.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Looking back over the years



that we've been together,



I can't help but wonder...



"What the hell was I thinking?"



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Congratulations on your wedding day!



Too bad no one likes your husband.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

How could two people as beautiful as you



Have such an ugly baby?



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I've always wanted to have



someone to hold,



someone to love.



After having met you ..



I've changed my mind.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.



I never believed in Hell until I met you.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...



That you're not here to ruin it for me.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Congratulations on your promotion.



Before you go...



Would you like to take this knife out of my back?



You'll probably need it again.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!



(Available only inTennessee, Kentucky & WestVirginia)



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Happy birthday! You look great for your age.



Almost Lifelike!



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When we were together,



you always said you'd die for me.



Now that we've broken up,



I think it's time you kept your promise.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We have been friends for a very long time ..



let's say we stop?



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm so miserable without you



it's almost like you're here.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.



Did you ever find out who the father was?



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your friends and I wanted to do



something special for your birthday.



So we're having you put to sleep. Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: January 17 2005 @ 09:30 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

and I thought I had time on my hands


lost post

Posted on: January 17 2005 @ 10:40 PM
By: Bigdog

Content:

LOL Darrin you must. You keep on reading the Lost Post! Eek!



David



Ooops must mean that I doo too? Eek! Eek!


lost post

Posted on: January 18 2005 @ 06:46 PM
By: d00buck

Content:

A bus carrying only ugly people crashes into an oncoming truck and

everyone inside dies. When they get to meet their maker, because of the grief they have experienced, He decides to grant them one wish each before they enter Heaven.

They're all lined up and God asks the first one what their wish is. "I

want to be gorgeous."

So God snaps His fingers and it is done. The second one in line hears this and says, "I want to be gorgeous, too." Another snap of His fingers and the wish is granted.



This goes on for a while with each one asking to be gorgeous but when

God

is halfway down the line, the last guy in the line starts laughing. When there are only ten people left, this guy is rolling on the floor, laughing his head off. Finally, God reaches this last guy and asks him what his wish will be.

************

***********

**********

*********

********

*******

******

*****

****

***

**

*

The guy eventually calms down and says: "Make 'em all ugly again."




lost post

Posted on: January 18 2005 @ 08:07 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

An old man was sitting on a bench at the mall. A

teenager walked up to the bench and sat down. He had

spiked hair in all different colors: green, red,

orange, blue, and yellow.



The old man just stared. Every time the teenager

looked, the old man was staring. The teenager finally

said sarcastically, "What's the matter old timer,

never done anything wild in your life?



Without batting an eye, the old man replied, "Got

drunk once and had sex with a pea*censored*. I was just

wondering if you were my son." Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: January 18 2005 @ 08:40 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

going on and on and on and on ...


lost post

Posted on: January 19 2005 @ 12:19 AM
By: bigboyd

Content:

in the words of hand Jr.

for those of you who don't like hand williams , YOU CAN KISS MY ASS


lost post

Posted on: January 19 2005 @ 12:20 AM
By: bigboyd

Content:

don't know why but I just felt that I had to say that


lost post

Posted on: January 19 2005 @ 06:36 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

SUCCESS:



At age 4 success is . . not peeing in your pants.

At age 12 success is . . . having friends.

At age 16 success is . . . having a drivers license.

At age 35 success is . . . having money.

At age 50 success is . . . having money.

At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license.

At age 75 success is . . . having friends.

At age 80 success is . . . not peeing in your pants. Confused


lost post

Posted on: January 19 2005 @ 07:59 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

obla de obla da life goes on


lost post

Posted on: January 19 2005 @ 09:03 PM
By: river

Content:

Dang me.... dang me.... gonna' find a rope and hang me.


lost post

Posted on: January 19 2005 @ 10:52 PM
By: sonar83

Content:

ok i'll bite.............


lost post

Posted on: January 19 2005 @ 11:03 PM
By: Bigdog

Content:

Darrin's losing it. Eek!

Laughing Out Loud

David


lost post

Posted on: January 19 2005 @ 11:04 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Roger Miller, about 1964. Confused


lost post

Posted on: January 19 2005 @ 11:04 PM
By: goody

Content:

.........................................................................................................................................................................................

...............................................................................and just when you think this post is going to die in forum Hell.........................................................................................................................................................................................

...............................................................................BOOM! ITS BACK!

goody Rolling Eyes


lost post

Posted on: January 19 2005 @ 11:05 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Eric about 2005. Confused


lost post

Posted on: January 20 2005 @ 06:44 AM
By: sonar83

Content:

it is amazing to me the the information you can find on this website, especially this lost post one.........WOW Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: January 20 2005 @ 07:52 AM
By: kenhump

Content:

GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:



1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.

2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.

3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.

4) Never ask your 3 year old brother to hold a tomato.

5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.

6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.

7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.

8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.

9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.

10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.


lost post

Posted on: January 20 2005 @ 09:28 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

sorry goody I''ll try to keep it down.

Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: January 20 2005 @ 10:57 PM
By: Caseyjoenz

Content:

Sorry, I have to ask (the gin is kicking in)...so what if the Hokey Pokey isn't really what it's all about?? Well??


lost post

Posted on: January 20 2005 @ 11:07 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

then possibly the 'locomotion' Little Eva, about 1962. Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: January 21 2005 @ 01:02 AM
By: bigboyd

Content:

in 1814 we took a little trip


lost post

Posted on: January 21 2005 @ 08:34 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

hey who started the fire


lost post

Posted on: January 21 2005 @ 08:36 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Johnie Horton about 1960.


lost post

Posted on: January 21 2005 @ 09:10 PM
By: quailslayer

Content:






lost post

Posted on: January 21 2005 @ 09:14 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

True Exclaimation


lost post

Posted on: January 21 2005 @ 10:18 PM
By: bigjake

Content:



I'm going steady with Iron Ore Betty, she's going steady with me. She's got rug burns on her elbows, I've got'em on my knees. I'm going steady with Iron Ore Betty, she's going steady with me.



John Prine




lost post

Posted on: January 22 2005 @ 09:18 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

I'm only here for the party


lost post

Posted on: January 22 2005 @ 09:42 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

A young man goes into the confessional and says to his priest, "I had an affair with a married woman . . . almost." The priest says, "What do you mean, almost?" The man says, "Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped." The priest says, "Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You're not to see that woman again. For your penance, say 5 Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor box." The man leaves the confessional, says his prayers, then walks over to the poor box. He pauses for a moment and then starts to leave. The priest, who was watching, quickly runs over to him saying, "I saw that you didn't put any money in the poor box!" The man replies, "Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and apparently that's the same as putting it in." Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: January 23 2005 @ 11:52 AM
By: kenhump

Content:



So as not to be outdone by all the redneck, hillbilly, and

Texan jokes, you know you're from California if:



1. Your coworker has 8 body piercings and none are visible.

2. You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house.

3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English.

4. Your child's 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Flower.

5. You can't remember . . . . is pot illegal?

6. You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.

7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.

8. You can't remember . . . is pot illegal?

9. A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.

10. Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.

11. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney really IS George Clooney.

12. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.

13. You can't remember . . . .is pot illegal?

14. It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station: "STORM WATCH."

15. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cells or pagers.

16. It's barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.

17. HEY!!!! Is pot illegal????

18. Both you AND your dog have therapists.

19. The Terminator is your governor.

20. If you drive illegally, they take your driver's license. If you're here illegally, they want to give you one. Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: January 23 2005 @ 05:51 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

And now that I'm running my life support equipment through Windows 2000, I'll never have to worry about -- beeeeeeeep.................................................. Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: January 23 2005 @ 08:32 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

Ken you should know better than that, it is only f r comp ters t ke eee p th iingss runnnnnnninng smo thly/asl;231234fdasd


lost post

Posted on: January 23 2005 @ 09:55 PM
By: Bigdog

Content:

Yeah heavens forbid you should let Gates know what is going on? Eek!



David


lost post

Posted on: January 24 2005 @ 06:42 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Creation Story



In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.



Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream and Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?" And Man said, "Yes!" and Woman said, "and as long as you're at it, add some sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.



And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 6 to size 14. So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.



God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.



God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it "Angel Food Cake," and said, "It is good." Satan then created chocolate cake and named it "Devil's Food."God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose those extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue light and gained pounds.



Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them. And Man gained pounds.



God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and its 99-cent double cheeseburger. Then said, "You want fries with that?" And Man replied, "Yes! And super size them!" And Satan said, "It is good."



And Man went into cardiac arrest.



God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery. Then Satan created HMOs. Evil


lost post

Posted on: January 24 2005 @ 07:52 PM
By: quailslayer

Content:

Eek! so that is why I got screwed, God created blue cross and blue shield?


lost post

Posted on: January 24 2005 @ 07:55 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

No, Satan. Twisted Evil


lost post

Posted on: January 24 2005 @ 08:21 PM
By: quailslayer

Content:

PPO


lost post

Posted on: January 24 2005 @ 08:37 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

and away we go


lost post

Posted on: January 25 2005 @ 09:12 AM
By: kenhump

Content:

Even though I fly fish every once in awhile, I must say that there are more fish under the water. Wink


lost post

Posted on: January 25 2005 @ 11:01 PM
By: MFlan

Content:

Anybody seen my beer?


lost post

Posted on: January 25 2005 @ 11:08 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

I think you left it in the kitchen


lost post

Posted on: January 25 2005 @ 11:12 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

or maby out in the barn


lost post

Posted on: January 25 2005 @ 11:20 PM
By: quailslayer

Content:

You set it on top of the toilet Wink


lost post

Posted on: January 26 2005 @ 03:27 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

> > Subject: AWOL

> >

> >

> > Fifty-one years ago Herman James, a Tennessee mountain

> > man, was drafted by the US Army.

> >

> > On his first day in basic training the army issued him

> > a comb. That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all

> > his hair.

> >

> > On his second day the Army issued Herman a toothbrush.

> > That afternoon the Army dentist removed seven of his

> > teeth.

> >

> > On the third day the Army issued him a jock strap. The

> > Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years. Laughing Out Loud


lost post

Posted on: January 26 2005 @ 06:06 PM
By: littlejon

Content:

Ever since food has taken the place of sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants. Laughing Out Loud Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: January 26 2005 @ 06:21 PM
By: quailslayer

Content:

Eek! Eek!


lost post

Posted on: January 26 2005 @ 07:14 PM
By: MFlan

Content:

I found my beer. But, but now I cant taste it I cant taste my beer.


lost post

Posted on: January 26 2005 @ 07:15 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Should hit 30,000 views tonight. Mr. Green

1500 posts will be right behind. Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: January 26 2005 @ 08:11 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

here's to one more Big Grin


lost post

Posted on: January 28 2005 @ 12:01 AM
By: Rooster

Content:

Just seems right that I hit the 2000+ mark on here so thats how it's gonna be.


lost post

Posted on: January 28 2005 @ 12:03 AM
By: Rooster

Content:

My lucky Care Bear "Hugsy" brought me through. Here is 2000 posts. Razz God i need a life, 2000 posts in just over a year Cry Eek! Big Grin





Roooster - 2000th post


lost post

Posted on: January 28 2005 @ 12:30 AM
By: altrocker1

Content:

I don't have a girlfriend...I just know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that


lost post

Posted on: January 28 2005 @ 01:08 AM
By: smallieboy

Content:

I think "Ice John" needs to change his name to........... "Lost Post".... after all this stuff.....Smallieboy Cool Cool Cool


lost post

Posted on: January 28 2005 @ 02:19 AM
By: bigboyd

Content:

rooster,

what happened to the good pictures that you use to have ?


lost post

Posted on: January 28 2005 @ 05:13 AM
By: Mr.Flathead1

Content:

Free Sex With Fill-Up



A alabama gas station was trying to increase it`s sales, So the owner put up a sign saying,"Free Sex with Fill-up"

Soon a local redneck pulled in,filled his tank, and then asked for his Free sex.



The owner told him to pick a number between 1 to 10. If he guessed correctly, he would get free sex



The red neck guessed 8, and the proprietor said, You were close . The number was 7. Sorry, No sex this time.



A week later, The same redneck, along with a buddy, Bubba, pulled in for a fill-up. Once again he asked for his free sex



The proprietor gave him the same story. The redneck guessed 2 this time. Again the proprietor said , " Sorry, it was 3 . You were close, But no free sex this time"



As they were driving away , The redneck said to his buddy, Bubba, " I think that game is rigged. He doesn`t really give away free sex."



Bubba replied, " No it ain`t, Billy. My wife won twice last week."


lost post

Posted on: January 29 2005 @ 03:21 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

boy and I thought I typed a lot congrads Rooster


lost post

Posted on: January 29 2005 @ 04:01 PM
By: quailslayer

Content:

The real question for Rooster is how many more post before you graduate Question Cool


lost post

Posted on: January 30 2005 @ 03:24 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

BEER TROUBLESHOOTING CHART



SYMPTOM

FAULT

ACTION



Feet cold and wet.

Glass being held at incorrect angle.

Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling.



Feet warm and wet.

Improper bladder control.

Stand next to nearest dog, complain about house training.



Beer unusually pale and tasteless.

Glass empty.

Get someone to buy you another beer.



Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights.

You have fallen over backward.

Have yourself leashed to bar.



Mouth contains cigarette butts.

You have fallen forward.

See above.



Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet.

Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face.

Retire to restroom, practice in mirror.



Floor blurred.

You are looking through bottom of empty glass.

Get someone to buy you another beer.



Floor moving.

You are being carried out.

Find out if you are being taken to another bar.



Room seems unusually dark.

Bar has closed.

Confirm home address with bartender.



Taxi suddenly takes on colorful aspect and textures.

Beer consumption has exceeded personal limitations.

Cover mouth.



Everyone looks up to you and smiles.

You are dancing on the table.

Fall on somebody cushy-looking.



Beer is crystal-clear.

It's water Somebody is trying to sober you up.

Punch him.



Hands hurt, nose hurts, mind unusually clear.

You have been in a fight.

Apologize to everyone you see, just in case it was them.



Don't recognize anyone, don't recognize the room you're in.

You've wandered into the wrong party.

See if they have free beer.



Your singing sounds distorted.

The beer is too weak.

Have more beer until your voice improves.



Don't remember the words to the song.

Beer is just right.

Play air guitar.:hat Cool


lost post

Posted on: January 30 2005 @ 03:43 PM
By: ejensen

Content:

Switched to beer now everythings OK. Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: January 30 2005 @ 08:55 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

beer nector of the gods


lost post

Posted on: January 30 2005 @ 10:15 PM
By: quailslayer

Content:

Cool Tried a few of those once or twice Eek!


lost post

Posted on: January 31 2005 @ 10:35 AM
By: ejensen

Content:

A group of Americans was traveling by tour bus through Holland. As they stopped at a

cheese farm, a young guide led them through a process of cheese making, explaining that

goats' milk was used. She showed the group a lovely hillside where many goats were grazing.



These, she explained, were the older goats put out to pasture when they no longer produced.

She then asked, "What do you do in America with your old goats?"



A spry old gentleman answered, "They send us on bus tours, or make us go play Bingo."

Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: January 31 2005 @ 11:30 AM
By: bigjake

Content:



Unbelievable! I've given up Miracle Whip and gone back to Mayonnaise. Hellman's. Sandwiches taste good again.



Bob


lost post

Posted on: January 31 2005 @ 08:33 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

I like the tangy ziip of miracle whip Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: February 02 2005 @ 10:54 AM
By: ejensen

Content:

It's no use having a good memory unless you have something good to remember! Confused


lost post

Posted on: February 02 2005 @ 01:15 PM
By: Hazmat

Content:

any other post had 1500 replies??? Question


lost post

Posted on: February 02 2005 @ 01:20 PM
By: DeadBird

Content:

I belive the good ones get locked before they get that far.....this one just goes on and on but hey, it is outdoor related so let's keep er going......


lost post

Posted on: February 02 2005 @ 02:20 PM
By: WaxieWesser

Content:

When I die I'd like to go nice & peaceful, in my sleep, just like Grampy did....





Not in a screaming panic like the passengers in his car! Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: February 02 2005 @ 08:11 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

the sun came out today

there we are still talking outdoors


lost post

Posted on: February 03 2005 @ 07:13 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

100 botttles of beer on teh wall.......100 bottles of beer


lost post

Posted on: February 03 2005 @ 07:14 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

take one down pass it around........99 bottles of beer.


lost post

Posted on: February 03 2005 @ 07:15 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

99 bottles of beer on the wall 99 bottles of beer.


lost post

Posted on: February 03 2005 @ 07:17 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

take one down pass it around ..............98 bottles of beer.


lost post

Posted on: February 03 2005 @ 07:18 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

I feel drunk, and i think that I am singing alone.


lost post

Posted on: February 03 2005 @ 07:19 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

98 bottles of beer on the wall 98 bottles of beer...


lost post

Posted on: February 03 2005 @ 07:20 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

take one down pass it around......97 bottles of beer on the wall


lost post

Posted on: February 03 2005 @ 07:21 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

I'll be right back I have to go to the bathroom


lost post

Posted on: February 03 2005 @ 07:23 PM
By: MFlan

Content:

I"da like to help but I'm a two fisted drinker and the song wouldn't sound right if it went 2 at time.


lost post

Posted on: February 03 2005 @ 07:45 PM
By: deadeye01

Content:

Guest Column: No Relief in Sight for the Lincoln



By Ed Stanton







It has been three weeks since my ship, the USS Abraham Lincoln, arrived off the Sumatran coast to aid the hundreds of thousands of victims of the Dec. 26 tsunami that ravaged their coastline. I'd like to say that this has been a rewarding experience for us, but it has not: Instead, it has been a frustrating and needlessly dangerous exercise made even more difficult by the Indonesian government and a traveling circus of so-called aid workers who have invaded our spaces.







What really irritated me was a scene I witnessed in the Lincoln's wardroom a few days ago. I went in for breakfast as I usually do, expecting to see the usual crowd of ship's company officers in khakis and air wing aviators in flight suits, drinking coffee and exchanging rumors about when our ongoing humanitarian mission in Sumatra is going to end.







What I saw instead was a mob of civilians sitting around like they owned the place. They wore various colored vests with logos on the back including Save The Children, World Health Organization and the dreaded baby blue vest of the United Nations. Mixed in with this crowd were a bunch of reporters, cameramen and Indonesian military officers in uniform. They all carried cameras, sunglasses and fanny packs like tourists on their way to Disneyland.







My warship had been transformed into a floating hotel for a bunch of trifling do-gooders overnight. As I went through the breakfast line, I overheard one of the U.N. strap-hangers, a longhaired guy with a beard, make a sarcastic comment to one of our food servers. He said something along the lines of "Nice china, really makes me feel special," in reference to the fact that we were eating off of paper plates that day. It was all I could do to keep from jerking him off his feet and choking him, because I knew that the reason we were eating off paper plates was to save dishwashing water so that we would have more water to send ashore and save lives. That plus the fact that he had no business being there in the first place.







My attitude towards these unwanted no-loads grew steadily worse that day as I learned more from one of our junior officers who was assigned to escort a group of them. It turns out that they had come to Indonesia to "assess the damage" from the Dec. 26 tsunami.







Well, they could have turned on any TV in the world and seen that the damage was total devastation. When they got to Sumatra with no plan, no logistics support and no five-star hotels to stay in, they threw themselves on the mercy of the U.S. Navy, which, unfortunately, took them in.. I guess our senior brass was hoping for some good PR since this was about the time that the U.N. was calling the United States "stingy" with our relief donations.







As a result of having to host these people, our severely over-tasked SH-60 Seahawk helos, which were carrying tons of food and water every day to the most inaccessible places in and around Banda Aceh, are now used in great part to ferry these "relief workers" from place to place every day and bring them back to their guest bedrooms on the Lincoln at night. Despite their avowed dedication to helping the victims, these relief workers will not spend the night in-country, and have made us their guardians by default.







When our wardroom treasurer approached the leader of the relief group and asked him who was paying the mess bill for all the meals they ate, the fellow replied, "We aren't paying, you can try to bill the U.N. if you want to."







In addition to the relief workers, we routinely get tasked with hauling around reporters and various low-level "VIPs," which further wastes valuable helo lift that could be used to carry supplies. We had to dedicate two helos and a C-2 cargo plane for America-hater Dan Rather and his entourage of door holders and briefcase carriers from CBS News. Another camera crew was from MTV. I doubt if we'll get any good PR from them, since the cable channel is banned in Muslim countries. We also had to dedicate a helo and crew to fly around the vice mayor of Phoenix, Ariz., one day. Everyone wants in on the action.







As for the Indonesian officers, while their job is apparently to encourage our leaving as soon as possible, all they seem to do in the meantime is smoke cigarettes. They want our money and our help but they don't want their population to see that Americans are doing far more for them in two weeks than their own government has ever done or will ever do for them.







To add a kick in the face to the USA and the Lincoln, the Indonesian government announced it would not allow us to use their airspace for routine training and flight proficiency operations while we are saving the lives of their people, some of whom are wearing Osama bin Ladin T-shirts as they grab at our food and water. The ship has to steam out into international waters to launch and recover jets, which makes our helos have to fly longer distances and burn more fuel.







What is even worse than trying to help people who totally reject everything we stand for is that our combat readiness has suffered for it.







An aircraft carrier is an instrument of national policy and the big stick she carries is her air wing. An air wing has a set of very demanding skills and they are highly perishable. We train hard every day at sea to conduct actual air strikes, air defense, maritime surveillance, close air support and many other missions - not to mention taking off and landing on a ship at sea.







Our safety regulations state that if a pilot does not get a night carrier landing every seven days, he has to be re-qualified to land on the ship. Today we have pilots who have now been over 25 days without a trap due to being unable to use Indonesian airspace to train. Normally it is when we are at sea that our readiness is at its very peak. Thanks to the Indonesian government, we have to waive our own safety rules just to get our pilots off the deck.







In other words, the longer we stay here helping these people, the more dangerous it gets for us to operate. We have already lost one helicopter, which crashed in Banda Aceh while taking sailors ashore to unload supplies from the C-130s. There were no relief workers on that one.







I'm all for helping the less fortunate, but it is time to give this mission to somebody other than the U.S. Navy. Our ship was supposed to be home on Feb. 3 and now we have no idea how long we will be here. American taxpayers are spending millions per day to keep this ship at sea and getting no training value out of it. As a result, we will come home in a lower state of readiness than when we left due to the lack of flying while supporting the tsunami relief effort.







I hope we get some good PR in the Muslim world out of it. After all, this is Americans saving the lives of Muslims. I have my doubts.







Ed Stanton is the pen name of a career U.S. Navy officer currently serving with the USS Abraham Lincoln carrier strike group.








lost post

Posted on: February 05 2005 @ 10:37 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Cowboy & Indian



While riding one day, a cowboy met an Indian riding along with a

> dog and a sheep and began a conversation.

>

> Cowboy: "Hey, cool dog you got there. Mind if I speak to him?"

>

> Indian: "Dog no talk."

>

> Cowboy: "Hey dog, how's it going?"

>

> Dog: "Doin' all right."

>

> Indian: Look of shock.

>

> Cowboy: "Is this Indian your owner?" pointing at the Indian.

>

> Dog: "Yep."

>

> Cowboy: "How does he treat you?"

>

> Dog: "Real well. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great

> food, and takes me to the lake once a week to play."

>

> Indian: Look of total disbelief.

>

> Cowboy: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"

>

> Indian: "Horse no talk."

>

> Cowboy: "Hey horse, how's it going?"

>

> Horse: "Cool."

>

> Indian: Extreme look of shock.

>

> Cowboy: "Is this your owner?" pointing at the Indian.

>

> Horse: "Yep."

>

> Cowboy: "How's he treat you?"

>

> Horse: "Pretty well, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly,

> brushes me down often, and keeps me in a shed to protect me."

>

> Indian: Total look of utter amazement.

>

> Cowboy: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"

>

> Indian: "Sheep big liar." Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: February 05 2005 @ 10:51 PM
By: Tomhusker

Content:

I still refuse to contribute to this meaningless thread. I will never be responsible for helping to sustain it's life.


lost post

Posted on: February 06 2005 @ 02:27 AM
By: bigboyd

Content:

97 bottles of beer on the wall 97 bottles of beer.


lost post

Posted on: February 06 2005 @ 02:41 AM
By: bigboyd

Content:

take one down pass it around 96 bottles of beer


lost post

Posted on: February 06 2005 @ 07:24 PM
By: kenhump

Content:



Some men, they buy chocolate

for Valentine's Day;

They git it at Wal-Mart,

it's romantic that way.



Some men git roses

on that special day

from the cooler at Kroger.

That's impressive," I say.



Some men buy fine diamonds

from a flea market booth.

"Diamonds are forever,"

they explain, suave and couth.



But for this man, honey,

these just won't do.

Cause yo're too special,

you sweet thang you.



I got you a gift,

without taste nor odor,

More useful than diamonds...

it's a new troll'n motor!!




lost post

Posted on: February 07 2005 @ 08:41 AM
By: VikeFan

Content:

What's the difference between a dog and a fox?


lost post

Posted on: February 07 2005 @ 08:42 AM
By: VikeFan

Content:

[QUOTE BY= VikeFan] What's the difference between a dog and a fox?[/QUOTE]



About ten beers.


lost post

Posted on: February 07 2005 @ 09:46 AM
By: bigred6933

Content:

[QUOTE BY= dtniday] the sun came out today

there we are still talking outdoors[/QUOTE]



Even fired up the grill Saturday. Bison t-bone over charcoal: priceless. Mr. Green

Mark


lost post

Posted on: February 07 2005 @ 10:09 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

Even fired up the grill Saturday. Bison t-bone over charcoal: priceless. Mr. Green

Mark



and no phone call Cry


lost post

Posted on: February 07 2005 @ 10:12 PM
By: Bigdog

Content:

Hell if I had known that Darrin was cooking I would have been there. Eek!



Ok when is the BBQ?



David


lost post

Posted on: February 07 2005 @ 10:16 PM
By: bigred6933

Content:

[QUOTE BY= dtniday]

and no phone call Cry [/QUOTE]



How can I call you; I don't have your phone #. Razz

Mark


lost post

Posted on: February 07 2005 @ 10:18 PM
By: bigred6933

Content:

http://www.blueshado.com/dontpetthedog.shtml





http://www.blueshado.com/rectalsurgean.shtml


lost post

Posted on: February 08 2005 @ 09:57 PM
By: ejensen

Content:

Dear Billy Joe Bob,



I'm writing this slow because I know you can't read fast. We don't live

where we did when you left home. Your Pa read in the newspaper that most

accidents happen within 20 minutes of your home, so we moved.

I won't be able to send you the address because the last family that lived

here took the house numbers when they moved so they wouldn't have to change

their address.



This place is really nice. I even has a washing machine. I'm not sure it

works so well, though, Last week I put a load of clothes in and pulled the

chain, we haven't seen it since.



The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice last week; the first time

for three days and the second time for four days.



About that coat you wanted me to send; your Uncle Bubba said it would be

too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and

put them in the pockets.



Bubba locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried because

it took him two hours to get me and your father out.



Your sister had a baby this morning, but I haven't found out what it is yet

so I don't know if you are an aunt or uncle. The baby looks just like your

brother.



Uncle Bobby Ray fell into a whiskey vat last week. Some men tried to pull

him out but he fought them off and drowned. We had him cremated; he burned

for three days.



Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pickup truck. Butch was

driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your other two

friends were in the back, they drowned because they couldn't get the

tailgate down.





Your Favorite Aunt


lost post

Posted on: February 08 2005 @ 10:04 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Subject: The Hangover





Jack wakes up at home with a huge hangover he can't believe. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose!



Jack sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed.



Jack looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He t! akes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror, and notices a note on the table: "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping--Love you!"



He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, "son...what happened last night?"



"Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You brke



some furniture, puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door."



"So, why is everything in such perfect order, so clean, I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"



His son replies, "Oh THAT!... Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone, lady, I'm married!" !

> Broken furniture - $85.26

Hot Breakfast - $4.20

Red Rose bud -$3.00

Two Aspirins -$.38



Saying the right thing, at the right time.........Priceless


lost post

Posted on: February 09 2005 @ 11:13 AM
By: ejensen

Content:

WARNING



This new scam is being pulled mainly on older men.



What happens is that when you stop for a red light a young, nude woman comes

up and pretends to be washing your windshield.



While she is doing this another person opens your back door and steals anything

in the car.



They are very good at this.



They got me 7 times last Friday and 5 times Saturday. I wasn't able to find them on Sunday.


lost post

Posted on: February 09 2005 @ 08:19 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

bigred I'm in the book Big Grin


lost post

Posted on: February 09 2005 @ 09:34 PM
By: bigred6933

Content:

D'oh!!!

Mark


lost post

Posted on: February 09 2005 @ 09:36 PM
By: WALLEYES_ONLY

Content:

has im sitting here drinking a smirnoff twisted watermelon and checking iowa outdoorsSmile


lost post

Posted on: February 10 2005 @ 08:26 PM
By: basebklyn7

Content:

just learned how to get pictures up here from my digital camera... just making sure it works..

expect some random outdoor pictures in the future.....


lost post

Posted on: February 10 2005 @ 08:41 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

I've heard of tree bass, but is that a Wall eye Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: February 11 2005 @ 09:01 AM
By: NEIAIceMan

Content:

bump....couldn't let this die


lost post

Posted on: February 11 2005 @ 10:06 AM
By: kenhump

Content:

Darrin I think it looks like

'bass'wood. Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: February 11 2005 @ 06:55 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

At the scene of the accident a trooper asked the Texas driver what gear he was in at the moment of impact.

He replied, "tractor hat and camouflage hunting outfit"



A Texas man spoke frantically into the phone,

"My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only 2 minutes apart!"

"Is this her first child?", the doctor asked.

"No ya dummy" the man shouted, "This is her Husband! Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: February 11 2005 @ 07:35 PM
By: quailslayer

Content:

Was waiting for the toilet to come into view in that pic Eek!


lost post

Posted on: February 11 2005 @ 09:11 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

There are three religious truths:

a. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.

b. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith.

c. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor

store or at Hooters. Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: February 11 2005 @ 10:07 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

Laughing Out Loud Laughing Out Loud Laughing Out Loud Laughing Out Loud Laughing Out Loud Laughing Out Loud Laughing Out Loud Laughing Out Loud Laughing Out Loud Laughing Out Loud Laughing Out Loud Laughing Out Loud Laughing Out Loud Laughing Out Loud Laughing Out Loud Laughing Out Loud Laughing Out Loud Laughing Out Loud Laughing Out Loud Laughing Out Loud Laughing Out Loud Laughing Out Loud Laughing Out Loud Laughing Out Loud Laughing Out Loud Laughing Out Loud Laughing Out Loud Laughing Out Loud Laughing Out Loud Laughing Out Loud Laughing Out Loud Laughing Out Loud Laughing Out Loud Laughing Out Loud Laughing Out Loud Laughing Out Loud Laughing Out Loud Laughing Out Loud Laughing Out Loud Laughing Out Loud Laughing Out Loud Laughing Out Loud Laughing Out Loud Laughing Out Loud Laughing Out Loud Laughing Out Loud Laughing Out Loud Laughing Out Loud Laughing Out Loud Laughing Out Loud Laughing Out Loud


lost post

Posted on: February 12 2005 @ 02:28 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

another nice day and here I sit


lost post

Posted on: February 12 2005 @ 04:07 PM
By: USAFVet

Content:

I got nothing. Oops!


lost post

Posted on: February 13 2005 @ 04:03 PM
By: bigred6933

Content:

Check this out....

http://www.savetoby.com

Gotta love it when people pull the PETA crowd's chains. Mr. Green

Mark


lost post

Posted on: February 14 2005 @ 11:50 AM
By: deadeye01

Content:

That guys got it figured out. He either gets a rabbit dinner, or fifty grand for free. nice


lost post

Posted on: February 14 2005 @ 12:17 PM
By: birdslayer31

Content:

Starkle, starkle little twink

"who the hell are you?" I think.

I'm not as drunk as some tinkle peep I am,

I've only had tea martoonies,

and I've got all sober to sunday up in.


lost post

Posted on: February 14 2005 @ 01:54 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

that save toby thing is the funniest thing thta I have ever read on the net..... Laughing Out Loud Laughing Out Loud Laughing Out Loud Laughing Out Loud Laughing Out Loud Laughing Out Loud boy does that give me some Ideas.



Boyd


lost post

Posted on: February 15 2005 @ 12:25 AM
By: HAWKICE

Content:

can i ride the black widow?can i ride the black widow?can i ride the black widow?can i ride the black widow?can i ride the black widow?can i ride the black widow?can i ride the black widow?


lost post

Posted on: February 15 2005 @ 12:23 PM
By: dbugzapper1975

Content:

playin' hookie today. I'm a wishin I was a fishin'

Might have to get out the fishing pole on the compter and catch some virtual 10lb bass Twisted Evil


lost post

Posted on: February 15 2005 @ 07:47 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

A woman in her forties went to a plastic surgeon for a

face-lift. The surgeon told her about a new procedure called "The

Knob," where a small knob is placed on the top of a woman's head and can

be turned to tighten up her skin to produce the effect of a brand new

face lift. Of course, the woman wanted "The Knob."



Over the course of the years, the woman tightened the knob, and the

effects were wonderful, the woman remained young looking and

vibrant.



After fifteen years, the woman returned to the surgeon with two

problems: "All these years, everything has been working just fine.

I've had to turn the knob many times and I've always loved the

results. But now I've developed two annoying problems:



First, I have these terrible bags under my eyes and the knob won't

get rid of them."



The doctor looked at her closely and said,

"Those aren't bags, those are your breasts."



She said, "Well, I guess there's no point in asking about the

goatee." Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: February 17 2005 @ 07:50 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

>Norwegian Fire Department

>

>

>One dark night outside a small town in Minnesota, a fire started

>inside the local chemical plant and in a blink it exploded into

>massive flames. The alarm went out to all the fire departments

>from miles around.

>When the volunteer firefighters appeared on the scene, the

>chemical company president rushed to the fire chief and said,

>"All of our secret formulas are in the vault in the center of the

>plant. They must be saved and I will give $50,000 to the fire

>department that brings them out intact."

>

>But the roaring flames held the firefighters off.

>Soon more fire departments had to be called in as the situation

>became desperate.

>As the firemen arrived, the president shouted out that the offer

>was now $100,000 to the fire department who could bring out the

>company's secret files.

>From the distance, a lone siren was heard as another fire truck

>came into sight. It was the nearby Norwegian rural township

>volunteer Fire Company composed mainly of Norwegians over the age of

>65.

>To everyone's amazement, the little run-down fire engine, operated

>by these Norwegians, passed all the newer sleek engines parked

>outside the plant....and drove straight into the middle of the

>inferno.

>Outside the other firemen watched as the Norwegian old-timers

>jumped off and began to fight the fire with an amazing performance

>and within a short time, the Norsk old-timers had extinguished

>the fire and saved the secret formulas.

>

>The grateful chemical company president joyfully announced that

>for such a superhuman feat he was upping the reward to $200,000 and

>walked over to personally thank each of the brave, though elderly, Norsk

>firefighters.

>The local TV news reporters rushed in after capturing the event on

>film asking, "What are you going to do with all that money?"

>

>"Vell," said Ole Larsen, the 70-year-old fire chief,

> "der furst ting ve gonna do is fix der brakes on dot focking

>truck!"


lost post

Posted on: February 18 2005 @ 12:42 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

A blonde decided she needed something new and different for a winter hobby. She went to the bookstore and bought every book she could find on ice fishing.



For weeks she read and studied, hoping to become an expert in the field. Finally she decided she knew enough, and out she went for her first ice fishing trip She carefully gathered up and packed all the tools and equipment needed for the excursion. Each piece of equipment had its own special place in her kit.



When she got to the ice, she found a quiet little area, placed her padded stool, and carefully laid out her tools. Just as she was about to make her first cut into the ice, a booming voice from the sky bellowed, "There are no fish under the ice!"



Startled, the blonde grabbed up all her belongings, moved further along the ice, poured some hot chocolate from her thermos, and started to cut a new hole. Again the voice from above bellowed, "There are no fish under the ice!"



Amazed, the blonde wasn't quite sure what to do, as this certainly wasn't covered in any of her books. She packed up her gear and moved to the far side of the ice. Once there, she stopped for a few moments to regain her calm. Then she was extremely careful to set everything up perfectly -- tools in the right place, chair positioned just so. Just as she was about to cut this new hole, the voice came again, "There are no fish under the ice!"



Petrified, the blonde looked skyward and asked "Is that you Lord?"

*

*

*







The voice boomed back, "No, this is the manager of the skating rink!"


lost post

Posted on: February 18 2005 @ 05:41 PM
By: ejensen

Content:

On a tour of Idaho, the Pope took a couple of days off to visit the mountains for some sightseeing. He was cruising along the campground in the pope-mobile when there was a frantic commotion just at the edge of the woods. A helpless man, wearing sandals, hawaiian shorts, a save-the-whales tee shirt and a tree- hugger hat was struggling frantically thrashing around trying to free himself from the jaws of a 10 foot grizzly. As the pope watched horrified, a group of bikers came racing up wearing leather. One ran up and quickly fired a 44 mag into the bear's chest. The other two reached out and pulled the bleeding semiconscious man from the bear. Then using long clubs, the three bikers beat the bear to death and hauled it to their truck. Immediately the Pope shouted and summoned them to come over. "I give you my blessing for your brave actions," ! he told them. "I heard that there was some bitter hatred between bikers and wacko environmental activists, But now I have seen with my own eyes that this is not true". As the Pope drove off, one biker asked his buddies "Who was that"? "It was the Pope," one replied. "He is in direct contact with God and has access to all of God's wisdom". "Well," the biker said, "he may have access to God's wisdom, but he sure doesn't know anything about bear hunting. By the way, is the bait holding up O.K., or do we need to grab another one"?




lost post

Posted on: February 21 2005 @ 10:08 AM
By: ejensen

Content:

A guy goes to the U.S. Post Office to apply for a job. The interviewer asks him,

"Have you been in the service?" "Yes," he says. "I was in Viet Nam for three years."

The interviewer says, "That will give you extra points toward employment" and then asks,

"Are you disabled in any way?"

The guy says, "Yes 100%... A mortar round exploded near me and blew my testicles off."

The interviewer tells the guy, "OK I can hire you right now. The hours are from 8:00 A.M.

to 4:00 P.M. You can start tomorrow. Come in at 10:00 A.M."

The guy is puzzled and says, "If the hours are from 8:00 A.M. to 4:00P.M. then why do

you want me to come in at 10:00 A.M.?"

"This is a government job" the interviewer says. "For the first two hours we sit around

scratching our balls......no point in you coming in for that."


lost post

Posted on: February 21 2005 @ 10:58 AM
By: bigboyd

Content:

tip of the day............ if you are playing hold'em poker and you have pocket queens, dont go all in when the third queen shows up on the flop.......................because the river will give the other guy a flush or a straight every time.......



that is how I got taken out of three of the games I played last weekend Angry


lost post

Posted on: March 01 2005 @ 10:57 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

there has been too many days since I have seen this on the list


lost post

Posted on: March 01 2005 @ 11:15 PM
By: quailslayer

Content:

I've been lost for 10 yrs and now I've returned to my final resting point. Man It feels GOOD! Long live the lost post Exclaimation Exclaimation Exclaimation


lost post

Posted on: March 01 2005 @ 11:46 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

ive been lost and I have been found, I would rather be lost


lost post

Posted on: March 01 2005 @ 11:52 PM
By: quailslayer

Content:

Eek! You should have not ran out in front of that truck then Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: March 02 2005 @ 12:13 AM
By: bigboyd

Content:

Laughing Out Loud Laughing Out Loud Laughing Out Loud Eek! Eek! Laughing Out Loud Laughing Out Loud Laughing Out Loud Confused Confused Confused Laughing Out Loud Laughing Out Loud Laughing Out Loud


lost post

Posted on: March 02 2005 @ 12:15 AM
By: bigboyd

Content:

ive been lost before and I know what it looks like and were lost Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: March 02 2005 @ 06:19 PM
By: Driftless

Content:

Now that I've found my lost post I can finish my fence. If only I could find my fence. Where is the lost fence post? Wait, didn't I just find the lost post???...I'm so confused!?!?


lost post

Posted on: March 02 2005 @ 07:35 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

and it rises from the dead


lost post

Posted on: March 02 2005 @ 07:41 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

your fence is over there, by the post.............now where the hell di d it go


lost post

Posted on: March 02 2005 @ 07:42 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

it wasnt dead it was only sleepong


lost post

Posted on: March 02 2005 @ 10:50 PM
By: Rooster

Content:

Have not checked in for awhile. Glad to see the lost post is doing well.



Rooster


lost post

Posted on: March 02 2005 @ 11:39 PM
By: duckdog

Content:

Im awlay's lost before the dog Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: March 02 2005 @ 11:39 PM
By: Larry Richard

Content:

Welcome to Lost Post Driftless, your abscence has been noted. In fact, I thought the thing had finally died, but as arisen like a Phoenix again. If I could only remember where I last was when I swore if off again, so I knew how far back to go to catch up. doc


lost post

Posted on: March 02 2005 @ 11:53 PM
By: Joe

Content:

The lost post is just like geting a phone call that is a wrong number and talking to the caller for three hours.


lost post

Posted on: March 03 2005 @ 12:12 AM
By: shroomer

Content:

it would only seem fitting that i make my first post here. after all i have read every post on this thread.


lost post

Posted on: March 03 2005 @ 07:15 AM
By: Hazmat

Content:

An Arkansas State trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-40 and says to the driver, "Got any ID?"



The driver says, "'Bout whut?"


lost post

Posted on: March 03 2005 @ 07:46 AM
By: Hazmat

Content:

Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids"?

Question


lost post

Posted on: March 03 2005 @ 07:52 AM
By: Hazmat

Content:

What 14 letter word begins with N, ends with N and means constipation?























































NNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!


lost post

Posted on: March 06 2005 @ 10:49 PM
By: bigred6933

Content:

Be sure to turn the sound up for this one...



http://media.euniverse.com/funpages/cms_content/2461/flyin_egg_fight.swf




lost post

Posted on: March 06 2005 @ 11:36 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

I haven't been egged in a while


lost post

Posted on: March 06 2005 @ 11:39 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

what do you get when you cross an elephant and a rino?



you got to say it out loud.



elephino.


lost post

Posted on: March 10 2005 @ 09:13 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

lookie at what I found


lost post

Posted on: March 10 2005 @ 09:19 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

494 just a few till I get my fifth star.



Boyd


lost post

Posted on: March 10 2005 @ 09:26 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

just make 494 face icons Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: March 10 2005 @ 10:22 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

I think that I should have it on the lost post, because half of them are here.


lost post

Posted on: March 10 2005 @ 10:26 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

jsust wouldn't be right to have it elsewhere


lost post

Posted on: March 10 2005 @ 10:28 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

should I keep going?


lost post

Posted on: March 10 2005 @ 10:29 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

awwww what the hell


lost post

Posted on: March 10 2005 @ 10:31 PM
By: NEIAIceMan

Content:

2 more.......


lost post

Posted on: March 10 2005 @ 10:31 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

might not be a sprinter like rooster but I think I am going at a good pace.


lost post

Posted on: March 10 2005 @ 10:32 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

500 Big Grin Smile Frown Eek! Cool Laughing Out Loud Angry Surprised! Cry Evil Twisted Evil Rolling Eyes Wink Arrow Neutral Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: March 12 2005 @ 05:55 AM
By: dtniday

Content:

see I knew you could do it congrads Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: March 12 2005 @ 08:28 AM
By: otis7606

Content:

unbelievable............


lost post

Posted on: March 12 2005 @ 09:43 AM
By: kenhump

Content:

In the words of Bill S., "much ado about nothing".


lost post

Posted on: March 12 2005 @ 09:58 AM
By: redneck joe

Content:

100 bottles of beer on the wall take one down pass it around 99 bottles of beer on the wall





KEEP IT GOIN Smile


lost post

Posted on: March 12 2005 @ 11:12 AM
By: dbugzapper1975

Content:

Getting broadband phone service today, gonna stick it to big corporate american phone compnanies too!!!!!!

I finally fell to those catchy Vonage commercials, will report back here to let y'all know how it works Cool !!!!!!!


lost post

Posted on: March 12 2005 @ 12:32 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

a little after noon and the lost post is still on the board.


lost post

Posted on: March 12 2005 @ 12:59 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Slow news day. Neutral


lost post

Posted on: March 12 2005 @ 01:06 PM
By: d00buck

Content:

Slow day period...maybe I'll go back thru here and read every post again...NO FRIGGIN WAY IN HE||!


lost post

Posted on: March 12 2005 @ 05:30 PM
By: dbugzapper1975

Content:

Vonage rules! Works great, and I will only pay 25 bucks a month, long distance included in that!!!!! The phone adapter cost me 40 bucks (after rebate). Great program for phone service.


lost post

Posted on: March 12 2005 @ 05:44 PM
By: d00buck

Content:

We have 'Bonage' service in my town. Private local service/one choice for internet-$25 flat rate/plus a long distance carrier. Anyone have some of that Kentucky jelly? Laughing Out Loud


lost post

Posted on: March 12 2005 @ 07:11 PM
By: bigred6933

Content:

I use my cell phone for everything. To heck with land lines, and to heck with the cable company.

Mark


lost post

Posted on: March 12 2005 @ 08:31 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

somthing is wrong..............................I am seeing some imformative posts on the lost post.


lost post

Posted on: March 13 2005 @ 04:11 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Only in Mexico!!

Alice and Frank are Bungee-jumping one day. Alice says to Frank, "You know, we could make a lot of money running our own Bungee-jumping service in Mexico."



Frank thinks this is a great idea. So they pool their money and buy everything they'll need: a tower, an elastic cord, insurance, etc. They travel to Mexico and begin to set up on a square in a small town. As they are constructing the tower, a crowd begins to assemble. Slowly, more and more people gather to watch them at work. When they had finished, there was such a crowd they thought it would be a good idea to give a demonstration.



So, Alice jumps. She bounces at the end of the cord, but when she comes back up, Frank notices that she has a few cuts and scratches.



Unfortunately, Frank isn't able to catch her and she falls again, bounces and comes back up again. This time, she is bruised and bleeding. Again, Frank misses her. Alice falls again and bounces back up. This time she comes back pretty messed up -- she's got a couple of broken bones and is almost unconscious.



Luckily, Frank finally catches her this time and says, "What happened? Was the cord too long?"



Barely able to speak, Alice gasps, "No, the Bungee cord was fine...It was the crowd. What the hell is a pinata? Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: March 14 2005 @ 10:56 AM
By: walleye wisdom

Content:

haha, good one!


lost post

Posted on: March 18 2005 @ 01:42 PM
By: walleye wisdom

Content:

whew, thought i lost this post


lost post

Posted on: March 18 2005 @ 02:04 PM
By: manho

Content:

call guiness

(the book not the beer) this may be a new record for number of posts on a single topic. If you can call this a topic . . .


lost post

Posted on: March 18 2005 @ 02:07 PM
By: rusty5555

Content:

post


lost post

Posted on: March 18 2005 @ 02:08 PM
By: rusty5555

Content:

post again


lost post

Posted on: March 19 2005 @ 07:00 AM
By: Mr.Flathead1

Content:

Hillybilly vasectomy





After having their 11th child, a North-Georgia Mountain couple decided that 11 was enough, as they could not afford a larger bed. So the husband went to his veterinarian and told him he and his cousin didn't want to have any more children. The doctor told him there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem, but that it was expensive. A less costly alternative, said the doctor, was to go home, get a cherry bomb (fireworks are legal in the North-Georgia Mountains), light it, put it in an empty beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10. The redneck said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest man in the world, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help". "Trust me", said the Doctor.



So the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5* At which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs, and resumed counting on his other hand. This procedure also works in Kentucky, Tennessee, Mississippi and Arkansas, West Virgina and most places in Alabama


lost post

Posted on: March 19 2005 @ 11:43 AM
By: sonar83

Content:

What a great post, the information that it has in it is pheonominal!!!!!!!!!



what a post


lost post

Posted on: March 23 2005 @ 07:14 AM
By: kenhump

Content:

There was an old man named Bill and one of the things he most enjoyed was playing golf with his old buddy Fred. His wife always commented on how happy he looked after a game. But one day he came home from their weekly game looking unhappy and very tired. His wife asked, "What's the matter Bill? You always seem so happy after golf and you look miserable."

Bill said, "Well, something terrible did happen. Fred had a heart attack on the first hole."



"My God, honey!" said the wife, rushing to comfort him, "that must've been terrible!"



"It was," he said, "all day long it was: hit the ball, drag Fred to the ball and then hit it again..."


lost post

Posted on: March 24 2005 @ 08:03 PM
By: bigred6933

Content:

I found it I found it!! Laughing Out Loud


lost post

Posted on: March 24 2005 @ 08:14 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Two girlfriends were speeding down the highway at well over 90 mph.

"Hey," asked the brunette at the wheel, " do ya see any cops following us?"



The blonde turned around for a long look. "As a matter of fact, I do."



"Damn!" cursed the brunette. "Are his flashers on?



The blonde turned around again. "Yup... nope... yup... nope... yup...." Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: March 24 2005 @ 08:46 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

> Dear Dogs and Cats,

>

> The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The Other

> dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

>

> The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating

> Me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

>

> I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry

> about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

>

> For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years-canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.

>

> The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt.

> I cannot stress this enough!

>

>

> To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our



> front door:

>

> Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit and Like to Complain About Our Pets:

>

> 1. They live here. You don't.

>

> 2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.

> (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)

>

> 3. I like my pets a lot better than most people.

>

> 4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who

> is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly. Dogs and cats are better than kids ..they eat less, don't ask for money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called, never drive your car, don' t hangout with drug-using friends, don't smoke or drink, don't worry about having to buy the latest fashions, don't wear your clothes,and don't need a gazillion dollars for college - and if they get pregnant, you can sell the children.


lost post

Posted on: March 24 2005 @ 08:49 PM
By: deadeye01

Content:

So much knowledge, so much time. oh crap.


lost post

Posted on: March 24 2005 @ 10:18 PM
By: bigred6933

Content:

Ken, Heather liked that one a lot better than the Easter Bunny pic. Mr. Green

Mark


lost post

Posted on: March 24 2005 @ 10:54 PM
By: d00buck

Content:

What was the matter with the Easter bunny pic? I kinda liked them cute pink noses! Wink


lost post

Posted on: March 24 2005 @ 11:44 PM
By: oldstylelight

Content:

could someone bring over some ketchup?


lost post

Posted on: March 25 2005 @ 06:54 AM
By: bigred6933

Content:

I prefer barbeque sauce myself. Ketchup is on hand for when little kids come over. Laughing Out Loud

Mark


lost post

Posted on: March 27 2005 @ 11:17 AM
By: Mr.Flathead1

Content:

Well this is about the best place I could think of to make my 50th post Eek! took me long enough Laughing Out Loud

Jeff


lost post

Posted on: March 27 2005 @ 11:25 AM
By: bigboyd

Content:

somthing is wrong, I see a page of the lost post that I don't have a post on, I am getting slow



congrats on 50 Mr. Flathead



Boyd


lost post

Posted on: March 27 2005 @ 11:27 AM
By: ejensen

Content:

About time for me to put something in here again. But I don't know what.


lost post

Posted on: March 27 2005 @ 12:19 PM
By: bigred6933

Content:

I don't know either.


lost post

Posted on: March 29 2005 @ 12:21 PM
By: ejensen

Content:

The division of the human family into 2 distinct political groups began some 12,000 years ago.



Humans existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunter/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains in the summer and would go to the beach and live on fish and lobster in winter.



The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups: Liberals and Conservatives.



Once beer was discovered it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early human ancestors were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.



Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to barbeque at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as "the Conservative movement."



Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly barbeque and doing the sewing, fetching and hair dressing.



This was the beginning of "the Liberal movement."



Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became known as 'girleymen.' Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy and group hugs and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that conservatives provided.



Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass. Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare.



Another interesting revolutionary side note, most of their women have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't "fair" to make the pitcher also bat.



Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, medical doctors, police officers, corporate executives, soldiers, athletes and generally anyone who works productively outside government. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.



Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to "govern" the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America. They crept in after the Wild West was tame and created a business of trying to get MORE for nothing.



Here ends today's lesson in world history.




lost post

Posted on: March 29 2005 @ 12:42 PM
By: rusty5555

Content:

hopa


lost post

Posted on: March 29 2005 @ 12:46 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Great Ed, I can't wait for the movie. Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: March 31 2005 @ 08:48 PM
By: deadeye01

Content:

A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning by a loud

pounding on the door.



The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger,

standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.



"Not a chance," says the husband, "it is three o'clock in the morning!"



He slams the door and returns to bed.



"Who was that?" asked his wife.



"Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers.



"Did you help him?" she asks.



"No, I did not, it is three in the morning and it is pouring out!"



"Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Can't you remember

about three months ago when we broke down and those two guys helped

us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of

yourself!"



The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding

rain.



He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"



"Yes" comes back the answer.



"Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.



"Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.



"Where are you?" asks the husband.



"Over here on the swing!" replies the drunk.

Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: April 01 2005 @ 01:35 AM
By: shroomer

Content:

One for the men...

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee. "What's the matter, dear?", she whispers as she steps into the room, "Why are you down here at this time of night?".



The husband looks up from his coffee, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 16?" he asks solemnly. The wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring and sensitive.



"Yes I do" she replies. The husband paused. The words were not coming easily. "Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car making love?" "Yes, I remember" said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him. The husband continued. "Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years?'" "I remember that too" she replied softly. He wiped another tear from his cheek and said....."I would have gotten out today."




lost post

Posted on: April 06 2005 @ 11:34 AM
By: deadeye01

Content:

A stockbroker, on his way home from work in New York City, came to a dead halt in traffic and thought to himself, "Wow, this seems much worse than usual."



He notices a police officer walking between the lines of stopped cars, so he rolls down his window and asks, "Officer, what's the hold up?"



The officer replies, "Hillary Clinton is depressed, so she stopped her motorcade and is threatening to douse herself in gasoline and set herself on fire. She says her husband has spent all her money, is back chasing interns and the Democrats told her to forget about running for President in 2008. So we're taking up a collection for her."



The stock broker asks, "How much have you got so far?"



The officer replies "About 4 1/2 gallons, but a lot of folks are still siphoning."


lost post

Posted on: April 06 2005 @ 12:01 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

I have nothing to say...........I just saw that it was the lost post and felt that I needed to post


lost post

Posted on: April 06 2005 @ 12:27 PM
By: RoosterHunter

Content:

Absolutely nothing to say.



RoosterHunter


lost post

Posted on: April 06 2005 @ 12:52 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

still nothing to say


lost post

Posted on: April 06 2005 @ 01:48 PM
By: iowafarm_girl

Content:

bunch of losers Rolling Eyes


lost post

Posted on: April 09 2005 @ 08:26 AM
By: Ray R

Content:

What's the record for longest thread on a website? Someone should call Ripley's and see if they have a catagory. This may have already been asked, but I'm not going to review all 321 pages to find out.


lost post

Posted on: April 09 2005 @ 09:30 AM
By: kenhump

Content:

Eye wanna lost post t-shirt. Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: April 09 2005 @ 10:42 AM
By: bigboyd

Content:

Ken, all you have to do is get a blank T-shirt and a marker.


lost post

Posted on: April 09 2005 @ 12:22 PM
By: bigred6933

Content:

Here I sit trying to figure out where to find more collets of an obsolete type for my lathe. Such fun. Rolling Eyes

Mark


lost post

Posted on: April 12 2005 @ 03:13 PM
By: bubbathehuntr

Content:

I realized that I have yet to contribute to the "lost post".



So, here is another useless post to add to it.





Awhile back, a buddy and I were shopping around Scheels's fishing section before heading out for a day of fishing. We came to an end-cap that was filled with the then new Gulp bait. There was everything you could think of haning there along with a sign with the bait's motto. "GULP. FISH EAT IT!"



Well, after a short silence my buddy says. "Eat it? Hell, I dont want them to eat it...I just want them to bite it."


lost post

Posted on: April 12 2005 @ 03:30 PM
By: lunker

Content:

This husband and wife were discussing their marriage at the dinner table one night. Their children are grown and have children of their own now.



The wife asked the husband what he would do if she ever died?



He replies that he would want her to find another husband if that would make her happy so he said he would want another wife as well.



She then asked if he would continue to golf with his new wife every tuesday night like they do.



He replied yes.



She then asked if he would let the new wife drive the cart like she does.



He says yes.



She then asked if he would let the new wife use her clubs.



He says no! She is left handed!!


lost post

Posted on: April 13 2005 @ 03:17 PM
By: JeffN

Content:

[QUOTE BY= bubbathehuntr] I realized that I have yet to contribute to the "lost post".



So, here is another useless post to add to it.





Awhile back, a buddy and I were shopping around Scheels's fishing section before heading out for a day of fishing. We came to an end-cap that was filled with the then new Gulp bait. There was everything you could think of haning there along with a sign with the bait's motto. "GULP. FISH EAT IT!"



Well, after a short silence my buddy says. "Eat it? Hell, I dont want them to eat it...I just want them to bite it."[/QUOTE]



Heck, I'm happy if they just gum it a little . . .



Jeff


lost post

Posted on: April 14 2005 @ 06:33 AM
By: ccavacini

Content:

I fournd your post....ran into it last night in my car


lost post

Posted on: April 14 2005 @ 09:10 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

have you missed me Question Big Grin


lost post

Posted on: April 14 2005 @ 10:21 PM
By: bigred6933

Content:

Heck yes. Where you been hiding out at??? Question

Mark


lost post

Posted on: April 15 2005 @ 09:07 AM
By: jimandemma

Content:

I think I'll name my next dog Post, so if I can't find her I'll know where to look.


lost post

Posted on: April 15 2005 @ 11:21 AM
By: rusty5555

Content:

Thats what I love about Sunday cat napping on a porch swing....




lost post

Posted on: April 17 2005 @ 01:22 PM
By: bigred6933

Content:

Cajun Math

A Houston construction site boss was interviewing men for a job, when along came a Lower Cajun. I'm not hiring any Cajuns, the foreman thought to himself, so he made up a test to avoid

hiring the Cajun without getting into an argument.

" Here's your first question," the foreman said. "Without using numbers, represent the number 9."



"Without numbers?" The Cajun says. "Dat is easy," and proceeds to draw three trees.

"What's this?" the boss asks.

"'Ave you got no brain? Tree and tree and tree make nine," says the Cajun.

"Fair enough," says the boss. "Here is your second question.

Use the same rules, but this time the number is 99."

The Cajun stares into space for a while, then picks up the picture that he has just drawn and makes a smudge on each tree. "'Ere you go."

The boss scratches his head and says, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?"

"Each of da trees is dirty now! So it's dirty tree, and dirty tree, and dirty tree. Dat is 99."

The boss is getting worried he's going to have to hire this Cajun, so he says, "All right, last question. Same rules again, but represent the number 100."

The Cajun stares into space some more, then he picks up the picture again and makes a little mark at the base of each tree, and says, "'Ere you go. One hundred."



The boss looks at the attempt. "You must be nuts if you think that represents a hundred."

The Cajun leans forward and points to the marks at the base of each tree, and says, "A little dog come along and crap by each tree. So now you got dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, which make one hundred. So when I start?"


lost post

Posted on: April 17 2005 @ 04:43 PM
By: timbuck2

Content:

I thought this thing was lost.


lost post

Posted on: April 17 2005 @ 05:22 PM
By: bigred6933

Content:

It once was lost, but now it's found. Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: April 18 2005 @ 02:17 PM
By: Hazmat

Content:

Good lord, this thing still live?


lost post

Posted on: April 25 2005 @ 10:02 AM
By: kenhump

Content:

My lost post bookmark still works. Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: April 25 2005 @ 11:27 AM
By: bigred6933

Content:

You have this thing BOOKMARKED??? Eek! Eek! Eek! Eek! Eek! Eek! Eek! Eek! Eek! Eek! Eek! Eek! Eek!

Mark


lost post

Posted on: April 25 2005 @ 11:50 AM
By: kenhump

Content:

U don't? Eek! Eek! Eek! Eek! Eek! Eek! Eek! Eek! Eek!

ken


lost post

Posted on: April 25 2005 @ 11:53 AM
By: quailslayer

Content:

Question Question Question LOST Exclaimation Exclaimation Exclaimation Where do I get one of those lost shirts at Idea


lost post

Posted on: April 25 2005 @ 12:01 PM
By: bigred6933

Content:

Ken, I bow to your superior dedication to the Lost Post. You are The Man. Eek! Eek! Eek! Eek! Eek!

Mark


lost post

Posted on: April 25 2005 @ 12:08 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

If you Google, "lost post" Iowa

the first thing on the list is:



(Iowa Outdoors - Hunting and Fishing

... While Iowa Outdoors is useful to anonymous users, such as yourself, look at

all the features you could have if you just ... lost post, Views: 36067 ...)



Is that cool or what? ken Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: April 25 2005 @ 01:10 PM
By: dtniday

Content:

it still lives bwahahahahhaa


lost post

Posted on: April 25 2005 @ 05:52 PM
By: bigred6933

Content:

Yup. Mr. Green Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: April 25 2005 @ 08:01 PM
By: carpeye

Content:



Eek! Eek! Eek! Eek! Eek! Eek! Eek! Eek! Eek!

I think I am going In Sane.....Naw....it's just you guys.



Mr. Green Mr. Green Mr. Green Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: April 25 2005 @ 10:25 PM
By: Jason26

Content:

just spent over 2 hours reading all this. I have "found" the meaning of the post. Oh sh#t, I just "lost" it.


lost post

Posted on: April 25 2005 @ 10:55 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

If a tree falls in the forest, will mushrooms still grow

around it if there is no to pick them? Rolling Eyes


lost post

Posted on: April 26 2005 @ 12:31 AM
By: xrayman

Content:

I hope so, I just hope i find that tree and not get lost


lost post

Posted on: April 26 2005 @ 08:06 AM
By: kenhump

Content:

After enlightenment...................comes the utility bill.

Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: April 26 2005 @ 01:55 PM
By: bigred6933

Content:

Murder at Safeway



Tired of being broke and stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decides to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife, with himself as beneficiary, and arranging to have her killed.



A "friend of a friend" put him in touch with a nefarious underworld figure that went by the name of "Artie." Artie explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing out a spouse was $5,000.



The husband said he was willing to pay that amount but he wouldn't have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife's insurance money. Artie insisted on being paid something up front. The man opened up his wallet,

displaying a single dollar bill that rested inside.



Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, and reluctantly agreed to accept the dollar as down payment for the dirty deed.



A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife into the local Safeway grocery store. There he surprised her in the produce department and proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands. As the poor unsuspecting woman drew her last breath and slumped to the floor,the manager of the produce department stumbled onto the scene.



Unwilling to leave any witnesses behind, Artie had no choice but to strangle the produce manager as well. Unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings was captured by hidden cameras and observed by the store's security guard, who immediately called the police. Artie was caught and arrested before he could leave the store.



Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the sordid plan, including his financial arrangements with the hapless husband.



And that is why the next day in the newspaper, the headlines declared:







(scroll down)

















"ARTIE CHOKES TWO FOR A DOLLAR AT SAFEWAY"


lost post

Posted on: April 27 2005 @ 03:31 PM
By: bigred6933

Content:

A cardiologist died and was given an elaborate funeral. A huge heart covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service.



Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside. The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever.



At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter. When all eyes stared at him, he said, "I'm sorry, I was just thinking of my own funeral... I'm a gynecologist."



That's when the proctologist fainted.


lost post

Posted on: April 27 2005 @ 06:33 PM
By: Jason26

Content:

The power of toilet paper



Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to my husband

that my breasts are too small. Instead of characteristically telling me it's not

so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion.



If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper

and rub it between them for a few seconds."



Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and stand in front of

the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts.



"How long will this take?" I asked



"They will grow larger over a period of years," my husband replies.



I stopped. " Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my

breasts every day will make my breasts larger over the years?"



Without missing a beat he says "Worked for your butt, didn't it?"



He's still alive, and with a great deal of therapy, he may even walk again.



Stupid, stupid man.


lost post

Posted on: April 29 2005 @ 02:37 AM
By: shroomer

Content:

A guy goes to his local church during the week to see

the priest and confess his sins. He goes into the

confessional box and says, "Father during the week I

said the F-word." The priest says, "Well my son, say 3

Hail Mary's and your sins will be forgiven."



The guy however was quite eager to explain to the

priest why he had used the F-word and grudgingly the

priest agreed to listen to his explanation.



"Well I was playing golf last Sunday instead of coming

to church," said the guy.



"Is that why you said the F-word?" the priest asked.



"No," the guy replied. "I was on the first tee and I

duck hooked my drive into this terrible rough."



"Is that why you said the F-word?" the priest asked.



"No," the guy replied getting quite annoyed with the

constant interruptions to his story. "My ball took a

lucky kick out of the rough and I was left with a

perfect shot to the green."



"Is that why you said the F-word?" the priest asked.



"No," the guy said. "As I went to play my ball a

squirrel grabbed it and took off with it."



"Is that why you said the F-word?" the priest asked.



"No," the guy replied. "As the squirrel was running

away with my ball an eagle swooped down on it and took

off with the squirrel and my ball."



"Is that why you said the F-word?" the priest asked.



"No," the guy replied. "The eagle dropped the squirrel

over the green and the ball rolled out of its mouth

and finished 5 inches from the hole."



The priest said, "Don't tell me you missed the f***ing

putt!?!?"


lost post

Posted on: May 02 2005 @ 07:19 PM
By: bigred6933

Content:

So this sailor is shipwrecked and washes up on a

deserted island. He is on this island by himself for 6 months. One

day he setting by the beach hoping for sight of ship when a string of bubbles

comes right up to shore and a scuba diver walks out of the water onto the beach.







The diver turns out to be a beautiful blonde

gal. When she finds out he has been marooned on the island for 6 months

she unzips a pocket, pulls out a flask and says, "How about some

whiskey?" He says, "Yes! Thank you" and takes

the bottle and goes to work on it.







She unzips another pocket and pulls out a cigar

and say, "Would you like a smoke?" and he says, "YES MA'AM!"

and lights up. Sitting there enjoying the whiskey and the cigar, he looks

as she pulls the zipper on the front of her suit down to about her navel.

She asks, "Would you like to play around?







Incredulous he asks, "You have golf clubs?!"


lost post

Posted on: May 02 2005 @ 07:44 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

A man and his wife walked into a dentist's office. The man said to the dentist, "Doctor, I'm in one heck of a big hurry! I have two buddies sitting out in my car waiting for us to go play golf.



So forget about the anesthetic and just pull the tooth and be done with it-- I don't have time to wait for the anesthetic to work!"



The dentist thought to himself, "My goodness--this sure is a very brave man, asking me to pull his tooth without using anything to kill the pain."



So the dentist asked him, "Which tooth is it, sir?"



The man turned to his wife and said, "Open your mouth, Honey, and show the doctor which one hurts." Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: May 02 2005 @ 07:51 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Making a bet at a bar

Two guys were in a bar, and they were both watching the television when the news came on. It showed a guy on a bridge who was about to jump, obviously suicidal. "I'll bet you $10 he'll jump," said the first guy. "Bet you $10 he won't," said the second guy.



Then, the guy on the television closed his eyes and threw himself off the bridge. The second guy hands the first guy the money.



"I can't take your money," said the first guy. "I cheated you. The same story was on the five o'clock news." "No, no. Take it," said the second guy. "I saw the five o'clock news too. I just didn't think the guy was dumb enough to jump again!" Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: May 03 2005 @ 08:25 PM
By: bigred6933

Content:

A woman goes into Wal-Mart to buy a rod and reel for her grandson's birthday.

She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter.

A Wal-Mart associate is standing there wearing dark shades. She says,"Excuse me,sir. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?"



He says ,"Ma'am, I'm completely blind; but if you'll drop it on the counter, I can tell you everything you need to know about it from the sound it makes." She doesn't believe him but drops it on the counter anyway.



He says, "That's a six-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404 reel and 10 LB.Test line. It's a good all around combination; and it's on sale this week for only $20.00."



She says, "It's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I'll take it!" As she opens her purse, her credit card drops on the floor.

"Oh, that sounds like a Visa card," he says.



She bends down to pick it up and accidentally breaks wind. At first she is really embarrassed, but then realizes there is no way the blind clerk could tell it was she who farted. Being blind, he wouldn't know that she was the only person around.

The man rings up the sale and says,"That'll be $34.50 please."



The woman is totally confused by this and asks, "Didn't you tell me it was on sale for $20.00? How did you get $34.50?"



He replies, "Yes,Ma'am. The rod and reel is $20.00, but the Duck Call is $11.00 and the Catfish Bait is $3.50 "


lost post

Posted on: May 03 2005 @ 11:07 PM
By: bigred6933

Content:

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/chronicle/archive/2005/04/08/DDG27BCFLG1.DTL





The following is the first communique from a group calling itself Unitarian Jihad. It was sent to me at The Chronicle via an anonymous spam remailer. I have no idea whether other news organizations have received this communique, and, if so, why they have not chosen to print it. Perhaps they fear starting a panic. I feel strongly that the truth, no matter how alarming, trivial or disgusting, must always be told. I am pleased to report that the words below are at least not disgusting:



Greetings to the Imprisoned Citizens of the United States. We are Unitarian Jihad. There is only God, unless there is more than one God. The vote of our God subcommittee is 10-8 in favor of one God, with two abstentions. Brother Flaming Sword of Moderation noted the possibility of there being no God at all, and his objection was noted with love by the secretary.



Greetings to the Imprisoned Citizens of the United States! Too long has your attention been waylaid by the bright baubles of extremist thought. Too long have fundamentalist yahoos of all religions (except Buddhism -- 14-5 vote, no abstentions, fundamentalism subcommittee) made your head hurt. Too long have you been buffeted by angry people who think that God talks to them. You have a right to your moderation! You have the power to be calm! We will use the IED of truth to explode the SUV of dogmatic expression!



People of the United States, why is everyone yelling at you??? Whatever happened to ... you know, everything? Why is the news dominated by nutballs saying that the Ten Commandments have to be tattooed inside the eyelids of every American, or that Allah has told them to kill Americans in order to rid the world of Satan, or that Yahweh has instructed them to go live wherever they feel like, or that Shiva thinks bombing mosques is a great idea? Sister Immaculate Dagger of Peace notes for the record that we mean no disrespect to Jews, Muslims, Christians or Hindus. Referred back to the committee of the whole for further discussion.



We are Unitarian Jihad. We are everywhere. We have not been born again, nor have we sworn a blood oath. We do not think that God cares what we read, what we eat or whom we sleep with. Brother Neutron Bomb of Serenity notes for the record that he does not have a moral code but is nevertheless a good person, and Unexalted Leader Garrote of Forgiveness stipulates that Brother Neutron Bomb of Serenity is a good person, and this is to be reflected in the minutes.



Beware! Unless you people shut up and begin acting like grown-ups with brains enough to understand the difference between political belief and personal faith, the Unitarian Jihad will begin a series of terrorist-like actions. We will take over television studios, kidnap so-called commentators and broadcast calm, well-reasoned discussions of the issues of the day. We will not try for "balance" by hiring fruitcakes; we will try for balance by hiring non-ideologues who have carefully thought through the issues.



We are Unitarian Jihad. We will appear in public places and require people to shake hands with each other. (Sister Hand Grenade of Love suggested that we institute a terror regime of mandatory hugging, but her motion was not formally introduced because of lack of a quorum.) We will require all lobbyists, spokesmen and campaign managers to dress like trout in public. Televangelists will be forced to take jobs as Xerox repair specialists. Demagogues of all stripes will be required to read Proust out loud in prisons.



We are Unitarian Jihad, and our motto is: "Sincerity is not enough." We have heard from enough sincere people to last a lifetime already. Just because you believe it's true doesn't make it true. Just because your motives are pure doesn't mean you are not doing harm. Get a dog, or comfort someone in a nursing home, or just feed the birds in the park. Play basketball. Lighten up. The world is not out to get you, except in the sense that the world is out to get everyone.



Brother Gatling Gun of Patience notes that he's pretty sure the world is out to get him because everyone laughs when he says he is a Unitarian. There were murmurs of assent around the room, and someone suggested that we buy some Congress members and really stick it to the Baptists. But this was deemed against Revolutionary Principles, and Brother Gatling Gun of Patience was remanded to the Sunday Flowers and Banners committee.



People of the United States! We are Unitarian Jihad! We can strike without warning. Pockets of reasonableness and harmony will appear as if from nowhere! Nice people will run the government again! There will be coffee and cookies in the Gandhi Room after the revolution.

Startling new underground group spreads lack of panic! Citizens declare themselves "relatively unafraid" of threats of undeclared rationality. People can still go to France, terrorist leader says.


lost post

Posted on: May 13 2005 @ 06:36 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

People who live in glass houses should make love in the

basement.



Never read the fine print. There ain't no way you're going to

like it.



If you let a smile be your umbrella, then most likely your

butt will get soaking wet.



Living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween.



To err is human, to forgive - highly unlikely.



The only two things we do with greater frequency in middle age

are urinate and attend funerals.



The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the

same size bucket.



Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of

old ladies running around with tattoos?



Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable

to cry in a Porsche than in a Hyundai.



After a certain age, if you don't wake up aching in every

joint, you are probably dead. Eek!


lost post

Posted on: June 06 2005 @ 11:11 AM
By: VikeFan

Content:

No fishing this weekend--that's a first in a long time, as is posting here.


lost post

Posted on: June 06 2005 @ 05:11 PM
By: Ray R

Content:

My uncle Joe went our for a drive with his wife Ruth. He took a left hand turn too sharp, his wife fell out and he drove on ruthlessly.


lost post

Posted on: June 23 2005 @ 03:23 AM
By: Jason26

Content:

if there is one thing to agree about it is that when you have drank to much, bring the lost post to the top. peace out all


lost post

Posted on: June 23 2005 @ 09:25 PM
By: timbuck2

Content:

A guy went to see a psychiatrist, but before he went, he got naked and wrapped himself in seran wrap. When he went in to the doctor, the doctor said to him, "I can clearly see your nuts"



Tim


lost post

Posted on: June 23 2005 @ 09:35 PM
By: basebklyn7

Content:

icejohn will be proud once he finds out the "LOST POST" is alive and doing well

Top signs you're a drunken bastard:



* You frequently urinate outdoors.

* You first wake up and you're afraid you're gonna die and a half hour later you're afraid you won't.

* You fall asleep taken a dump.

* You believe that spilling a beer is Alcohol abuse.

* You go to the john to hurl, but you take your beer with you.

* Find its easier to study drunk

* You're on a first name basis at the detoxification center

* Beer ads make sense.

* You wake up to the sound of your dog drinking out of the toilet, and you are so dry that it sounds mighty thrist quenching.

* You wake the next moring and start drinking a few of the half empties left sitting around the room.

* The space on your drivers license that tells your eye color reads "bloodshot".

* You fall down a flight of steps and DON'T spill a drop of your beer.

* You need to take witnesses with you to confession because you can't exactly remember what you did and the priest wouldn't believe you anyway.

* You mix your coctails by the liter.

* You grow a beard because it stops beer thats running down your chin.

* You put off urinating in hopes of reaching that near orgasmic zen like piss.

* You wake up in the gutter, spit our several broken teeth, haul yourself to your feet, brush yourself off, and think "Shit, this is no way for a Bishop to behave..."

* You explain to your bank manager that you speant your overdraft "mainly on beer and women; the rest I just wasted".

* When the bottle says 20 standard drinks but you only get 5.

* You spell Alcohol with a capital letter out of respect.

* You wake up the night after a party to put your clothes on and there aren't any.

* You find yourself saying "Honesly occifer I only hads tree bears tonight!" while snickering at his funny hat.




lost post

Posted on: June 24 2005 @ 02:06 AM
By: Jumbo Leach

Content:

* if your reading a post with over 1500+ replies at 2:05 in the morning.


lost post

Posted on: June 24 2005 @ 08:18 AM
By: quailslayer

Content:

Then you must be a red neck Wink


lost post

Posted on: June 24 2005 @ 09:19 AM
By: river

Content:


lost post

Posted on: June 24 2005 @ 09:21 AM
By: river

Content:


lost post

Posted on: June 24 2005 @ 09:53 AM
By: Carpschwacker

Content:

I have to say this is the most replies to a thread that I have ever seen. We had a 3 word story post on BowfishUSA once but I don't think it got this many replies. Plus this thread has so much information on it.................. Laughing Out Loud


lost post

Posted on: June 24 2005 @ 10:25 PM
By: d00buck

Content:

*note to self: Take Jason off X-mas card list. Laughing Out Loud



Just couldn't let it die, could you? Rolling Eyes Wink


lost post

Posted on: June 25 2005 @ 10:39 AM
By: RoosterHunter

Content:

I'VE MADE IT TO THE BIG TIMES. FOUR STARS!!!!!!!!



RoosterHunter


lost post

Posted on: June 25 2005 @ 12:37 PM
By: river

Content:


lost post

Posted on: June 25 2005 @ 05:24 PM
By: Jason26

Content:

In 3 days I will be one year old.


lost post

Posted on: June 25 2005 @ 05:43 PM
By: basebklyn7

Content:


lost post

Posted on: June 25 2005 @ 08:24 PM
By: basebklyn7

Content:

Two cowboys come upon an Indian lying on his stomach with his ear to the

ground.



One of the cowboys stops and says to the other, "You see that Indian?"



"Yeah," says the other cowboy.



"Look," says the first one, "he's listening to the ground. He can hear

things for miles in any direction."



Just then the Indian looks up. "Covered wagon," he says, "about two miles

away. Have two horses, one brown, one white. Man, woman, child,

household effects in wagon."



"Incredible!" says the cowboy to his friend. "This Indian knows how far

away they are, how many horses, what color they are, who is in the wagon,

and what is in the wagon. Amazing!"



The Indian looks up and says, "Ran over me about a half hour ago."


lost post

Posted on: June 28 2005 @ 01:04 AM
By: kipp

Content:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE LOST POST, MAY IT LIVE FOREVER.


lost post

Posted on: June 28 2005 @ 07:18 AM
By: Hazmat

Content:

OK...one more push towards 2000 replies...meaningful as they are...


lost post

Posted on: June 28 2005 @ 10:48 AM
By: iowafarm_girl

Content:

Congrats on your 4 star status RoosterHunter! I'm still working on mine. Guess I'm just not as full of hot air as most of y'all. Rolling Eyes


lost post

Posted on: June 28 2005 @ 12:56 PM
By: charlieb

Content:

It only took me 4 hrs to get to the end of this post Eek! Eek! Eek!


lost post

Posted on: June 28 2005 @ 01:10 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Banister of Life



1. Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an

impressive new book. It's title: "Ministers Do More Than Lay People."



2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and

be Mary.



3. The difference between the Pope and your

boss...the Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.



4. My mind works like lightning. One brilliantflash and it is gone.



5. The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom.



6. I hate sex in the movies. I tried it once. The seat folded up, the drink spilled and that ice... well, it really chilled the mood.



7. It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too.



8. A wife is someone who, after taking the trash

out, gives the impression that she just cleaned the whole house.



9. My next house will have no kitchen - just vending machines and a large trash can.



10. A blonde said, "I was worried that my mechanic

might try to rip me off. I was relieved when he told me all I needed was blinker fluid."



11. I'm so depressed. My doctor refused to write me

a prescription for Viagra. He said it would be like putting a new

flagpole on a condemned building.



12. My neighbor was bit by a stray rabid dog. I went to see how he was and found him writing frantically on a piece of paper. I told him rabies could be cured and he didn't have to worry about a Will. He said, "Will?

What Will? I'm making a list of the people I want to bite."



13. The definition of a teenager: God's punishment

for enjoying sex.



14. As we slide down the banister of life, may the

splinters never point the wrong way. Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: June 28 2005 @ 04:54 PM
By: basebklyn7

Content:

a penguin takes his car into a mechanic to get worked on, in the meantime, the penguin goes across to street for some ice cream, but the penguin has no arms so he gets it all over himself.. he makes his way back to the mechanic, and the mechanic says, "looks like you blew a seal", then the penguin says.. "no, thats just a little ice cream"


lost post

Posted on: June 28 2005 @ 05:02 PM
By: d00buck

Content:

So I tried to fit into an old pair of jeans last night. They were like a cheap dance hall...........















No ballroom! Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: July 18 2005 @ 09:36 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Drinks Show Your Personality



Before you order a drink in public, you should read this!



Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman's

personality based on what she drinks. Though interviewed separately,

they concurred on almost all counts.











The results:



Drink: Beer

Personality: Causal, low-maintenance; down to earth.

Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.





Drink: Blender Drinks

Personality: Flaky, whiny, annoying; a pain in the ass.

Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabana boy.





Drink: Mixed Drinks

Personality: Older, more refined, high maintenance, has very picky taste; knows EXACTLY what she wants.




lost post

Posted on: July 18 2005 @ 10:40 PM
By: birdhunter15

Content:

I've never posted on this famous thread so I figured I would Twisted Evil


lost post

Posted on: July 18 2005 @ 11:03 PM
By: bigred6933

Content:

Top Ten Thoughts to Ponder



Number 10 - Life is sexually transmitted.



Number 9 - Health is merely the slowest

possible rate at which one can die.



Number 8 - Men have two emotions:

Hungry and Horny. If you see him

without an erection, make him a

sandwich!



Number 7 - Give a person a fish and you

feed them for a day; teach a person to

use the Internet and they won't bother

you for weeks.



Number 6 - Some people are like a Slinky.....

not really good for anything, but you still

can't help but smile when you see one

tumble down the stairs.



Number 5 - Health nuts are going to feel

stupid someday, lying in hospitals Dying

of nothing.



Number 4 - All of us could take a lesson

from the weather. It pays no attention

to criticism.



Number 3 - Why does a slight tax increase

cost you two hundred dollars and a

substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?



Number 2 - In the 60's, people took acid

to make the world weird. Now the world

is weird and people take Prozac to make

it normal.



AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2005:

We know exactly where one cow with

mad-cow-disease is located among the

millions and millions of cows in America

but we haven't got a clue as to where

thousands of illegal immigrants and

terrorists are located. Maybe we should

put the Department of Agriculture in

charge of immigration








lost post

Posted on: July 20 2005 @ 10:21 PM
By: bigred6933

Content:

Bears In Bars



A bear walks into a bar in Billings, Montana and sits down. He bangs on the

bar with his paw and demands a beer.



The bartender approaches and says, "We don't serve beer to bears in bars in

Billings."



The bear, becoming angry, demands again that he be served a beer.



The bartender tells him again, more forcefully, "We don't serve beer to

belligerent bears in bars in Billings."



The bear, very angry now, says, "If you don't serve me a beer, I'm going to

eat that lady sitting at the end of the bar."



The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears

in bars in Billings."



The bear goes to the end of the bar, and, as promised, eats the woman. He

comes back to his seat and again demands a beer.



The bartender states, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully

bears in bars in Billings who are on drugs."



The bear says, "I'm NOT on drugs."



The bartender says, "You are now. That was a bar*censored*youate."




lost post

Posted on: July 21 2005 @ 01:19 PM
By: Hazmat

Content:

still going, eh?


lost post

Posted on: July 21 2005 @ 04:18 PM
By: Ray R

Content:

I don't get the joke in the previous post. That was a bar ?? you ate. What exactly did the bear eat?


lost post

Posted on: July 21 2005 @ 04:28 PM
By: cluck

Content:

I believe that it was B I T C H, (beyatch, for the younger crowd Smile ) as in "barbituates"



someone correct me if I am wrong, I struggled with the added "bonus" of the censored word insertion


lost post

Posted on: July 21 2005 @ 04:35 PM
By: cluck

Content:

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.

"Watson, look up and tell me what you see."

Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars."

"What does that tell you?", Holmes ask,

Watson pondered for a minute. "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and

potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Why, what does it tell YOU?"

Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke. "Watson, you idiot. Some jerk has stolen our tent."

***

Doreen's husband Matt died suddenly one day. Doreen was taking care of the funeral arrangements with the undertaker when she was asked how she wanted Matt's obituary to read.

Doreen asked the undertaker, "How much does an obituary cost?"

The undertaker replied, "One dollar per word."

Doreen then said, "I want the obituary to read - MATT IS DEAD."

The undertaker was an old fishing buddy of Matt's and he was a little disturbed by such a curt obituary, so he offered, "I'll make you a special deal since I knew Matt so well. I'll pay for half of the obituary out of my own pocket."

Doreen's face lit up and she replied, "Great. I want it to read - MATT IS DEAD, BOAT FOR SALE."

***

A man was stopped by a game warden in Northern Minnesota recently with two buckets of fish leaving a lake well known for its fishing. The game warden asked the man, "Do you have a license to catch those fish?"

The man replied to the game warden, "No, sir. These are my pet fish."

"Pet fish?!" the warden replied.

"Yes, sir. Every night I take these fish down to the lake and let them swim around for a while. I whistle and they jump back into their buckets, and I take em home."

"That's a bunch of hooey! Fish can't do that!"

The man looked at the game warden for a moment, and then said, "Here, I'll show you. It really works."

"O.K. I've GOT to see this!" the game warden replied.

The man poured the fish in to the water and stood and waited. After several minutes, the game warden turned to the man and said, "Well?"

"Well, what?" the man asked.

"When are you going to call them back?" the game warden prompted.

"Call who back?" the man asked.

"The FISH."

"What fish?" the man asked.

***

I'm sorry-the power of the lost post drew me in! Oops!


lost post

Posted on: July 22 2005 @ 08:28 AM
By: Hazmat

Content:

bound and determined to get this thing to 2K posts, eh?


lost post

Posted on: July 22 2005 @ 08:36 AM
By: manho

Content:

38,000 views +

Gotta be some kinda record. Or maybe it's like a car crash. Everybody's gotta slow down and look.


lost post

Posted on: July 27 2005 @ 07:19 PM
By: USAFVet

Content:

Exactly 37 days, 22 hours, 41 minutes and 10 seconds until kick off. Go Huskers!


lost post

Posted on: July 27 2005 @ 08:39 PM
By: kenhump

Content:



Why?



Why do men's hearts beat quicker, go weak in the knees, get dry throats and think irrationally when a woman wears leather clothing?





* Scroll Down



*



*



*



*



*



*



*



*



*



*

*

*

*

*

*

BECAUSE SHE SMELLS LIKE A NEW TRUCK...!


lost post

Posted on: July 27 2005 @ 10:58 PM
By: bigred6933

Content:

[QUOTE BY= USAFVet] Exactly 37 days, 22 hours, 41 minutes and 10 seconds until kick off. Go Huskers![/QUOTE]



BOOMER SOONER!! Mr. Green Mr. Green Mr. Green Mr. Green

Mark


lost post

Posted on: July 27 2005 @ 11:19 PM
By: bigred6933

Content:


lost post

Posted on: July 28 2005 @ 03:25 AM
By: Tomhusker

Content:

DO you know what a tornado and a divorce have in common in the state of Arkansas?



Either one and someone to loses a trailer.


lost post

Posted on: July 28 2005 @ 07:56 AM
By: Hazmat

Content:

God save us...just like he's saved this dang thread...


lost post

Posted on: July 28 2005 @ 08:32 AM
By: Dungeonhawk

Content:

I love Lamp


lost post

Posted on: August 03 2005 @ 09:00 PM
By: crippledcrappie

Content:

A mother and father take their 6 yr old son to a nude beach. As the boy walks along in the sand, he notices that many of the women have boobs bigger than his moms so he goes back to ask her why that is so.



She tells her son, " the bigger they are, the sillier the lady is."



The boy, pleased with the anwer, goes to play in the ocean but returns to tell his mom that many of the men have larger "things" than his dad does.



She replies,

"The bigger the 'thing' is, the dumber the man is".



Again satisfied with her answer, the boy goes back to the ocean to play some more. Shortly there after. the boy returns again, and promptly tells his mother.



" Dady is talking to the silliest lady of the beach and the longer he talks, the dumber he gets." Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: August 04 2005 @ 06:16 PM
By: bigred6933

Content:

IT LIVES!!!

Long live the Lost Post! Mr. Green Mr. Green Mr. Green Mr. Green Mr. Green Mr. Green Mr. Green

Mark


lost post

Posted on: August 04 2005 @ 06:46 PM
By: Jason26

Content:

off to the bar to shoot stick


lost post

Posted on: August 05 2005 @ 01:11 PM
By: walleye wisdom

Content:

it's like Lord of the Rings, it just makes you post when you look at it..... Twisted Evil


lost post

Posted on: August 05 2005 @ 06:17 PM
By: ejensen

Content:

It rises from the depths again!!!!!! Eek!


lost post

Posted on: August 05 2005 @ 06:56 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

The Old Man's Job Application



This is an actual job application that a 75 year old senior citizen submitted to Wal-Mart in Arkansas.





NAME: George Martin



SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman, (or at least, one who'll cooperate).



DESIRED POSITION: Company President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.



DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.



EDUCATION: Yes.



LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.



PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth.



MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.



REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.



HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.



PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday and Thursday.



DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.



MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?



DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM

LIFTING UP TO 50 lbs.?: Of what?



DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"



HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they tell > me.



DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job - no, on my breaks - yes.



WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb, sexy, blonde, supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.



DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Oh yes, absolutely.



SIGN HERE: Sagittarius Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: August 06 2005 @ 09:30 AM
By: bigred6933

Content:


lost post

Posted on: August 06 2005 @ 09:33 AM
By: bigred6933

Content:

oops double tap. Eek!


lost post

Posted on: August 08 2005 @ 11:16 AM
By: bigred6933

Content:

"The Law of Volunteering"

If you dance with a grizzly bear, you had better let him lead.



"The Law of Avoiding Oversell"

When putting cheese in a mousetrap, always leave room for the mouse.



"The Law of Common Sense"

Never accept a drink from a urologist.



"The Law of Reality"

Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.



"The Law of Self Sacrifice"

When you starve with a tiger, the tiger starves last.



"Weiler's Law"

Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.



"Law of Probable Dispersal"

Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.



"Law of Volunteer Labor"

People are always available for work in the past tense.



"Conway's Law"

In any organization there is one person who knows what is going on. That person must be fired.



"Iron Law of Distribution"

Them that has, gets.



"Law of Cybernetic Entomology"

There is always one more bug.



"Law of Drunkenness"

You can't fall off the floor.



"Heller's Law"

The first myth of management is that it exists.



"Osborne's Law"

Variables won't; constants aren't.



"Main's Law"

For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.



"Weinberg's Second Law"

If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would have destroyed civilization.


lost post

Posted on: August 08 2005 @ 12:12 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

I finaly got my a new hard drive. when I got back online the lost post was the first thing that I saw. It is nice to know that some things never change.




lost post

Posted on: August 08 2005 @ 02:13 PM
By: Hazmat

Content:

Yet again...


lost post

Posted on: August 11 2005 @ 03:34 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday. Eek!


lost post

Posted on: August 11 2005 @ 04:32 PM
By: CamperJack

Content:

I don't know about this post but I sure in the hell got lost trieng to find the end of it. Ya'll don't get lost now Wink

Jack


lost post

Posted on: August 11 2005 @ 04:35 PM
By: basebklyn7

Content:


lost post

Posted on: August 11 2005 @ 04:40 PM
By: MisterE

Content:

This thread needs to be locked and you all need to get lives! This is the gay! Anyone who posts here is queer.........oh crap!


lost post

Posted on: August 11 2005 @ 04:43 PM
By: basebklyn7

Content:

what are you trying to tell us misterE?


lost post

Posted on: August 11 2005 @ 04:52 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Only dead fish swim with the stream. Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: August 11 2005 @ 05:14 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

A man can wait for 3 hours for a fish to bite can't wait 5 mins for supper.

Relax and enjoy the ride. Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: August 11 2005 @ 05:42 PM
By: rugerpup

Content:

I Think I'll jump on this 1700 post, since I've been away a while




lost post

Posted on: August 11 2005 @ 05:47 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Glad to see ya back. How's things in Sux Falls? Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: August 11 2005 @ 05:53 PM
By: rugerpup

Content:

Alot better than Sewer City!!!!!!!!!!




lost post

Posted on: August 11 2005 @ 05:59 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Less than 90 views to hit 40,000. This puppy has to be eating some memory. Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: August 11 2005 @ 11:23 PM
By: bigboyd

Content:

did anyone bring the beer, I am out and the store is closed


lost post

Posted on: August 12 2005 @ 07:23 AM
By: bigred6933

Content:

40022 views!!! I'm sure Tony is proud of that milestone! Wink

Mark


lost post

Posted on: August 21 2005 @ 01:16 AM
By: kenhump

Content:

Shortly after the Pope had apologized to the Jewish people for the

treatment of Jews by the Catholic Church over the years, Ariel Sharon, the Prime Minister of Israel sent a proposal to the College of Cardinals for a friendly game of golf to be played between the two leaders, or their

representatives, to demonstrate the friendship and ecumenical spirit shared by the Catholics and the Jews.



The Pope then met with his College of Cardinals to discuss the proposal.



"Your Holiness," said one of the Cardinals, "Mr. Sharon wants to challenge you to a game of golf to show that you are old and unable to compete.



I am afraid that this would tarnish our image in the world."





The Pope thought about this and since he had never held a golf club in his life asked, "Don't we have a Cardinal to represent me?"





"None who plays golf very well," a Cardinal replied. "But," he added, "There is a man named Jack Nicklaus, an American golfer who is a devout

Catholic.



We can offer to make him a Cardinal, and then ask him to play Mr.

Sharon as your personal representative.



In addition to showing our spirit of cooperation, we will also win the match."



Everyone agreed that this was a great idea.



The call was made.



Of course, Nicklaus was honored and he agreed to play as a representative of the Pope.



The day after the match, Nicklaus reported to the Vatican to inform the Pope of the result.





"This is Cardinal Nicklaus. I have some good news and some bad news, Holiness," said the golfer.



"Tell me the good news Cardinal Nicklaus," said the Pope.





"Well, Your Holiness, I don't like to brag, but even though I have played some pretty terrific rounds of golf in my life, this was the best I

have ever played, by far.



I must have been inspired from above.



My drives were long and true, my irons were accurate and purposeful, and my putting was perfect.



With all due respect, my play was truly miraculous."





"How can there be bad news?" the Pope asked.



Nicklaus sighed, "I lost by three strokes to Rabbi Tiger Woods."


lost post

Posted on: August 21 2005 @ 05:55 AM
By: MisterE

Content:

It can't be that 'lost" it keeps popping up! It's like the energizer bunny post.It keeps going and going and going...................


lost post

Posted on: August 21 2005 @ 10:57 AM
By: bowfisher

Content:

I just read... all 86 pages of this thread and I still have no idea what you all are talking about?



HAHAHA Big Grin


lost post

Posted on: August 22 2005 @ 06:09 PM
By: bigred6933

Content:

[QUOTE BY= bowfisher] I just read... all 86 pages of this thread and I still have no idea what you all are talking about?



HAHAHA Big Grin [/QUOTE]



The Force is strong in this one. Laughing Out Loud

Mark


lost post

Posted on: August 22 2005 @ 07:10 PM
By: iowafarm_girl

Content:

Mine says it is 172 pages. How do I set it so it shows more postings per page?


lost post

Posted on: August 22 2005 @ 07:49 PM
By: birdhunter15

Content:

You have to go to the Forum Features under the User Functions on the left side. I have mine set at 20 posts per page and it is at 86 pages. Wink


lost post

Posted on: August 23 2005 @ 08:27 AM
By: iowafarm_girl

Content:

Thank you very much birdhunter15. Now I might actually read the whole thing! Does anybody remember we have icejohn to thank for this whole thing? Fish On!


lost post

Posted on: August 23 2005 @ 08:40 AM
By: Hazmat

Content:

Oh dang...still there.


lost post

Posted on: August 26 2005 @ 11:27 AM
By: bigred6933

Content:

Know your states Big Grin



Alabama

Hell Yes, We Have Electricity.



Alaska

11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong!



Arizona

But It's A Dry Heat.



Arkansas

Literacy Ain't Everything.



California

By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda.



Colorado

If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother.



Connecticut

Like Massachusetts,

Only The Kennedy's Don't Own It Yet.



Delaware

We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water.



Florida

Ask Us About Our Grandkids.



Georgia

We Put The Fun In Fundamentalist Extremism.



Hawaii

Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru

(Death To Mainland Scum,Leave Your Money)



Idaho

More Than Just Potatoes...

Well, Okay, We're Not, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good



Illinois

Please, Don't Pronounce the "S"



Indiana

2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free



Iowa

We Do Amazing Things With Corn



Kansas

First Of The Rectangle States



Kentucky

Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names



Louisiana

We're Not ALL Drunk Cajun Wackos,

But That's Our Tourism Campaign.



Maine

We're Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster



Maryland

If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It



Massachusetts

Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's



Michigan

First Line Of Defense From The Canadians



Minnesota

10,000 Lakes...And 10,000,000,000,000 Mosquitoes



Mississippi

Come And Feel Better About Your Own State



Missouri

Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars At Work



Montana

Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber, Right-wing Crazies,

and Very Little Else.



Nebraska

Ask About Our State Motto Contest



Nevada

Hookers and Poker!



New Hampshire

Go Away And Leave Us Alone



New Jersey

You Want A ##$%##! Motto?

I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto

Right here!



New Mexico

Lizards Make Excellent Pets



New York

You Have The Right To Remain Silent,

You Have The Right

To An Attorney...



North Carolina

Tobacco Is A Vegetable



North Dakota

We Really Are One Of The 50 States!



Ohio

At Least We're Not Michigan



Oklahoma

Like The Play, But No Singing



Oregon

Spotted Owl...It's What's For Dinner



Pennsylvania

Cook With Coal



Rhode Island

We're Not REALLY An Island



South Carolina

Remember The Civil War?

Well, We Didn't Actually Surrender Yet



South Dakota

Closer Than North Dakota



Tennessee

The Edyoocashun State



Texas

Se Hablo Ingles



Utah

Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus



Vermont

Ay, Yep



Virginia

Who Says Government Stiffs And Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?



Washington

We have more rain than you do



West Virginia

One Big Happy Family...Really!



Wisconsin

Come Cut The Cheese!



Wyoming

Where Men Are Men... And The Sheep Are Nervous


lost post

Posted on: August 29 2005 @ 12:53 PM
By: bigred6933

Content:

Ten Ways You Know Your Internet Connection Is A Little Slow



1. Text on Web pages displays as Morse Code



2. Graphics arrive via FedEx



3. You believe a heavier string might improve your connection



4. You post a message to your favorite newsgroup and it displays a week later



5. Your credit card expires while ordering online



6. ESPN Web site exhibits "Heisman Trophy Winner"...for 1989



7. You're still in the middle of downloading that popular new game, "PacMan"



8. Everyone you talk to on the 'net phone' sounds like Forrest Gump



9. You receive e-mails with stamps on them



10. When you click the "Send" button, a little door opens on the side of your monitor and a pigeon flies out.




lost post

Posted on: August 29 2005 @ 03:50 PM
By: Live4theHunt

Content:

As long as we're filling space...here's one i really enjoyed and thought maybe some other's out there would too.



Subject: FW: Analyze this

1. There were 39 combat related killings in Iraq during the month of

January.....



In the fair city of Detroit there were 35 murders in the month of

January.

That's just one American city, about as deadly as the entire war torn

country

of Iraq.



2. When some claim President Bush shouldn't have started this war,

state

the following ..



FDR...led us into World War II. Germany never attacked us: Japan did.



From 1941-1945, 450,000 lives were lost, an average of 112,500 per year.



Truman...finished that war and started one in Korea, North Korea never

attacked us.



From 1950-1953, 55,000 lives were lost, an average of 18,334 per year.



John F. Kennedy. ..started the Vietnam conflict in 1962. Vietnam never

attacked us.



Johnson...turned Vietnam into a quagmire.



From 1965-1975, 58,000 lives were lost, an average of 5,800 per year.



Clinton...went to war in Bosnia without UN or French consent, Bosnia

never

attacked US.



He was offered Osama bin Laden's head on a platter three times

by Sudan and did nothing.







Osama has attacked us on multiple occasions.



3. In the two years since terrorists attacked us







President Bush has liberated two countries, crushed the Taliban,

crippled al-Qaida, put nuclear inspectors in Libya, Iran and North Korea

without firing a shot, and captured a terrorist who slaughtered 300,000

of his own people.







The Democrats are complaining about how long the war is taking, but...It

took less time to take Iraq than it took Janet Reno to take the Branch

Davidian compound. That was a 51-day operation.



We've been looking for evidence of chemical weapons in Iraq for less

time

than it took Hillary Clinton to find the Rose Law Firm billing records.



It took less time for the 3rd Infantry Division and the Marines to

destroy

the Medina Republican Guard than it took Ted Kennedy to call the police

after his Oldsmobile sank at Chappaquiddick killing a woman.



Wait, there's more.......................



Some people still don't understand why military personnel do

what they do for a living. This exchange between

Senators John Glenn and Senator Howard Metzenbaum is worth reading. Not

only is it a pretty impressive impromptu speech, but it's also a good

example of one man's explanation of why men and women in the armed

services do what they do for a living. This is a typical, though sad,

example of what some who have never served think of our military.



JOHN GLENN ON THE SENATE FLOOR

Date: Mon, 26 Jan 2004 11:13



Senator Howard Metzenbaum to Senator Glenn:

"How can you run for Senate when you've never held a real job?"



Senator Glenn: "I served 23 years in the United States Marine Corps.

I served through two wars. I flew 149 missions.

My plane was hit by anti-aircraft fire on 12 different occasions. I was

in the space program.



It wasn't my checkbook, Howard; it was my life on the line. It

was not a nine-to-five job, where I took time off to take the daily cash

receipts to the bank. I ask you to go with me ... as I went the other

day... to a veteran's hospital and look those men - with their mangled

bodies - in the eye, and tell THEM they didn't hold a job!



You go with me to the Space Program at NASA and go, as I have gone,

to the widows and orphans of Ed White, Gus Grissom and Roger Chaffee...

and you look those kids in the eye and tell

them that their Dads didn't hold a job.



You go with me on Memorial Day and you stand in Arlington National

Cemetery,

where I have more friends buried than I'd like to remember, and you

watch

those waving flags.



You stand there, and you think about this nation, and you tell

ME that those people didn't have a job? I'll tell you, Howard

Metzenbaum; you should be on your knees every day of your life thanking

God that there were some men - SOME MEN - who held REAL jobs. And they

required a dedication to a purpose - and a love of country and a

dedication to duty - that was more important than life itself. And their

self-sacrifice is what made this country possible.



I HAVE held a job, Howard! What about you?"



For those who don't remember - During W.W.II,

Howard Metzenbaum was an attorney representing the

Communist Party in the USA



If you can read this, thank a teacher....

If you are reading it in English thank a Veteran.




lost post

Posted on: August 30 2005 @ 04:23 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

POLICE STATEMENTS



The following were taken off of actual police car camcorders around the country:



"Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."



"Take your hands off the car, or I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."



"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."



"Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? In case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9 mm bullet fired from my gun."



"So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"



"Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh .. did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"



"Warning.... You want a warning? O. K., I'm warning y! ou not to do that again or I'll give you ANOTHER ticket."



"The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"



"Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey poop."



"Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."



"In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."



"Just how big were those two beers?"



"No sir we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."



"I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."



and the best one . . .



"You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we ! don't.

Sign here." Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: August 30 2005 @ 05:01 PM
By: Live4theHunt

Content:

this is the fastest way to get to the last page Twisted Evil just wanted to see what was new Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: August 30 2005 @ 10:30 PM
By: crippledcrappie

Content:

A man was fishing from his boat on the river when he noticed that a nearby fisherman had just put down his rod, stood up, removed his hat and placed it over his heart in respect of a funeral procession that was crossing over the river on a bridge. Overwhelmed with this show of respect, the first man followed suit and did the same for the funeral procession. Once all the vehicles had passed, the first fisherman motored over to the other and said, "Sir, that was the most honorable and respectful thing I've seen in a long time. For you to take a few moments from your fishing to pay tribute to the deceased is nearly beyond words."



The other fisherman then thoughtfully replied, "Well, it was the least that I could do. I'd been married to that woman for thirty years." Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: August 30 2005 @ 11:07 PM
By: mark carder

Content:

It seems there was two very hungry crap eating birds sitting on a pump handle, watching a horse and waiting for it to crap, thinking they would eat good when it did. Well it finally did crap, and they flew down and ate thier fill. One ate sensibly and flew back up on the pump handle and waited patiently, being careful not to overindulge. The other ate like there was no tomorrow. When it finished it flew back up on the handle also. Eventually they decided to fly south towards thier original destination. They got to 1000 feet up, and the one with the over-indulgent appetite suddenly fell out of the sky ..., and SPLAT. killed instantly. What''s the moral of the story?



Never fly off the handle when your full of crap. Wink


lost post

Posted on: September 07 2005 @ 10:48 PM
By: crippledcrappie

Content:

Worms



A Southern Baptist minister decided that a visual demonstration would

add emphasis to his Sunday sermon regarding moderation, clean living

and hard work. Four worms were placed into four separate jars.



The first worm was put into a jar of alcohol.



The second worm was put into a jar of cigarette smoke.



The third worm was put into a jar of chocolate syrup.



The fourth worm was put into a jar of good clean soil.



At the conclusion of the Sermon, the Minister reported the

following results:



The first worm in alcohol - Dead.



The second worm in cigarette smoke - Dead.



Third worm in chocolate syrup - Dead.



Fourth worm in good clean soil - Alive.



So the Minister asked the congregation - What can you learn from

this demonstration?



A little old woman in the back quickly raised her hand and said, "As

long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate, you won't have worms!" Big Grin


lost post

Posted on: September 07 2005 @ 10:52 PM
By: goody

Content:







Fleas



Adam had 'em


lost post

Posted on: September 07 2005 @ 11:17 PM
By: mark carder

Content:

nothing here....... Laughing Out Loud


lost post

Posted on: September 08 2005 @ 12:01 AM
By: bigred6933

Content:

Nemo has been FOUND!! Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: September 08 2005 @ 12:29 AM
By: Live4theHunt

Content:

87 pages and still counting. Does anybody know what this thread was about to begin with? Just thought i would help keep it going. 2 more weeks and i leave the desert Laughing Out Loud Laughing Out Loud


lost post

Posted on: September 08 2005 @ 10:17 AM
By: Bigdog

Content:

Hey the lost post is alive and well. Glad it wasn't lost in my absence.



Now what the hell am I doing here looking for the lost post anyway?



David


lost post

Posted on: September 08 2005 @ 10:21 AM
By: iowafarm_girl

Content:

Lost post is alive and well. Glad to see you back Bigdog. Where were you?

Live4thehunt...ask Ice John...he's the one who started this whole thing! Laughing Out Loud


lost post

Posted on: September 08 2005 @ 10:50 AM
By: ceadmin

Content:

Somebody lost a post????



Maybe we should post about it.


lost post

Posted on: September 08 2005 @ 11:09 AM
By: Bigdog

Content:

Hey Iowafarm_girl.



I was just getting married, buying a house, going on my honeymoon, managing a mortgage company and was for some strange reason just a little too tied up to spend any time here.



So yesterday I said the hell with it and decided to come back. So HERE I AM.



Thanks for asking.



David


lost post

Posted on: September 08 2005 @ 12:00 PM
By: iowafarm_girl

Content:

Bigdog. Congratulations!!! Iowa Outdoors is more important than work tho isn't it??? Confused


lost post

Posted on: September 12 2005 @ 12:24 AM
By: crippledcrappie

Content:

A blond was sitting on a train reading the newspaper.



The headlines blared, "12 Brazilian Soldiers Killed."



She shook her head at the bad news, then turned to the stranger sitting next to her and asked,



"How many is a Brazilian?" Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: September 12 2005 @ 12:52 AM
By: bigboyd

Content:

Laughing Out Loud Laughing Out Loud Laughing Out Loud finaly a blond joke that I havent heard


lost post

Posted on: September 13 2005 @ 05:48 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

> Fishy Stuff

>

>

> A number of Primary Schools were doing a project on "The Sea." Kids were asked

to draw pictures or write

> about their experiences. Teachers got together to compare the results and put

together some of the

> comments that were funny and some that were sad. Here are some of them. The

kids were all aged between 5 and 8 years:

>

> This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight

> testicles. (Kelly age 6)

>

> Whales are animals, not fish. If they don't get air

> they can drown,like my brother did last summer. (David age 7)

>

> Oysters' balls are called pearls. (James age 6)

>

> If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island. If you

> don't have sea all around you, you are incontinent.

> (Wayne age 7)

>

> I think sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth,

> just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend no

> more. (Kylie age 6)

>

> A dolphin breaths through an ***hole on the top of

> it's head. (Billy age 6)

>

> My uncle goes out in his boat with pots, and comes

> back with crabs. (Millie age 6)

>

> When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds

> to cross the ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't

> blow, the sailors would whistle to make the wind come.

> My brother said they would be better off eating beans.

> (William age 7)

>

> I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their

> shiny tails. How do mermaids get pregnant? (Helen age7)

>

> I'm not going to write about the sea. My baby brother

> is always screaming and being sick, my Dad keeps

> shouting at my Mom, and my big sister has just got

> pregnant, so I can't think what to write. (Amy age 8)

>

> Some fish are dangerous. Jelly fish can sting.

> Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live

> in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug

> themselves into chargers. (Christopher age 7)

>

> My mom has fish nets, but doesn't catch any fish

> (Laura age 5)


lost post

Posted on: September 13 2005 @ 05:57 PM
By: d00buck

Content:

Ken, those are hilarious! "Kids say the darndest things!" Wink


lost post

Posted on: September 13 2005 @ 07:22 PM
By: Live4theHunt

Content:

SO Ice John,

I was told to ask you what is the lost post about? Confused I've read through some of it, but not even at the beginning does it really say.



Just had to ask and keep it going. Idea



7 MORE DAYS


lost post

Posted on: September 14 2005 @ 07:41 PM
By: Mr.Flathead1

Content:

A blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some rectum deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman they don"t sell rectum deodorant, and never have.



Unfazed, the blonde assures the pharmacist that she has been buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis and would like some more.



"I"m sorry", says the pharmacist, "we don"t have any"



"But I always buy it here," says the blonde.



"Do you have the container that it came in?" asks the pharmacist..



"YES", said the blonde, "I"ll go home and get it."



She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist who looks at it and says to her, "This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant"



Annoyed, the blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container.........



" TO APPLY, PUSH UP BOTTOM "





Another one for the lost post ...










lost post

Posted on: September 19 2005 @ 12:22 AM
By: bigboyd

Content:

I just don't know a clean joke that wouldn't offend someone


lost post

Posted on: September 19 2005 @ 12:37 AM
By: basebklyn7

Content:

DONT LET THIS BE YOU

Fishing season hasn't opened and a fisherman who doesn't have a license, is casting for trout as a stranger approaches and asks: Any luck?



Any luck? This is a wonderful spot. I took 10 out of this stream yesterday, he boasts.



Is that so? By the way, do you know who I am? asks the stranger.



Nope.



Well, meet the new game warden.



Oh, gulped the fisherman. Well, do you know who I am?



Nope.



Meet the biggest liar in the state!

___

A man is out in his row boat when suddenly a passing speed boat raises huge waves and the man's oars fall overboard! He is stranded out in the middle of the lake!



After about two hours, he sees another row boat going by with a man and two women in it! The first man yells, "Hey buddy, can I borrow one of your oars?" The other man yells back,



"They're not whores ... they're my sisters!"

____

HOW TO HUNT POLAR BEARSGo to the store and buy a can of sweet peas. Go out on the ice. When you find a good spot, cut a hole about 3 feet in diameter through the ice. Open the can of peas and place one about every three inches around the outside of the hole.



When a polar bear comes up to take a pea, you kick him in the icehole.

sean


lost post

Posted on: September 19 2005 @ 02:12 PM
By: Hazmat

Content:

Will it make 2000 posts? Tune in next week...


lost post

Posted on: September 21 2005 @ 11:27 PM
By: crippledcrappie

Content:

The husband had just finished reading the book, 'MAN OF THE HOUSE'. He stormed into the kitchen and walked directly up to his wife.



Pointing a finger in her face, he said, "From now on, I want you to know that I am the man of this house, and my word is law!

I want you to prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, I expect a sumptuous dessert afterward.



Then, after dinner, you are going to draw me my bath so I can relax. And when I'm finished with my bath, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?"



His wife replied, "The funeral director would be my guess." Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: September 21 2005 @ 11:29 PM
By: crippledcrappie

Content:

The difference between husbands and wives.



A husband discovers that his wife has been out all night. After she gets home, he calls ten of her best lady friends and asked if they had seen her. All of them say "No".



A wife discovers that her husband has been out all night. After he gets home, she calls ten of his closest male friends and asked if they had seen him. Seven of them say he was at their place all night and the other three swear he is still there drinking beer. Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: September 22 2005 @ 12:00 AM
By: bigboyd

Content:

this post won't be lost if I put it back at the top Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: September 25 2005 @ 11:17 PM
By: crippledcrappie

Content:



The family wheeled Grandma out on the lawn in her wheel chair, where the activities for her 100th birthday were taking place. Grandma couldn't speak very well, but she could write notes when she needed to communicate. After a short time out on the lawn, Grandma started leaning off to the right, so some family members grabbed her, straightened her up and stuffed pillows on her right. A short time later, she started leaning off to her left, so again the family grabbed her and stuffed pillows on her left. Then a while later she started leaning forward. Again family members grabbed her, then tied a pillow case around her waist to hold her up.



A grandson, who arrived late, came up to Grandma and said, " Hi, Grandma, you're looking good! How are they treating you?" Grandma took out her little notepad and slowly wrote a note to her grandson. "They won't let me fart." Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: September 25 2005 @ 11:34 PM
By: PoacherBoy

Content:

A doe deer walks outta the forest and says i'll never do that for two bucks again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


lost post

Posted on: September 25 2005 @ 11:42 PM
By: bigred6933

Content:

[QUOTE BY= bigboyd] this post won't be lost if I put it back at the top Mr. Green [/QUOTE]



The Lost Post, may it always be Lost. Mr. Green

Mark, Sponsor of the Lost Post


lost post

Posted on: September 26 2005 @ 12:28 AM
By: bigboyd

Content:

now that I am over 800 posts I would like to take this time to thank the lost post for many of them Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: September 26 2005 @ 12:29 AM
By: bigboyd

Content:

[QUOTE BY= bigred6933] [QUOTE BY= bigboyd] this post won't be lost if I put it back at the top Mr. Green [/QUOTE]



The Lost Post, may it always be Lost. Mr. Green

Mark, Sponsor of the Lost Post [/QUOTE]



with hard work and effort the lost post will be found


lost post

Posted on: September 26 2005 @ 12:31 AM
By: bigboyd

Content:

I almost forgot....... it also takes a lot of beer or black velvit to find the lost post


lost post

Posted on: September 26 2005 @ 10:42 PM
By: crippledcrappie

Content:

A housewife takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work.

Unbeknownst to her, her 9 year old son was hiding in the closet.

Her husband came home unexpectedly, so she hid her lover in the closet.

The boy now has company.

Boy: "Dark in here."

Man: "Yes it is."

Boy: "I have a baseball."

Man: "That's nice."

Boy: "Want to buy it?"

Man: "No, thanks."

Boy: "My dad's outside."

Man: "OK, how much?"

Boy: "$250."

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom's lover are in the closet together.

Boy: "Dark in here."

Man: "Yes, it is."

Boy: "I have a baseball glove."

Man: "How much?"

Boy: "$750.

Man: "Fine."

A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove. Let's go outside and toss the baseball."

The boy says, "I can't. I sold them."

The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"

The son says, "$1,000."

The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that.

That is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."

They go to church and the father alerts the priest, and makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and closes the door.

The boy says, "Dark in here."

The priest says, "Don't start that stuff again."


lost post

Posted on: September 26 2005 @ 11:27 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

An elderly couple was sitting together, watching their favorite Saturday night TV program.

During one of those commercial breaks, the husband asked his wife:

"Whatever happened to our sexual relations?"

After a long thoughtful silence, the wife, during the next commercial break, replied:

"You know, I don't really know -- I don't even think we got a Christmas card from them this year." Oops!


lost post

Posted on: September 28 2005 @ 02:51 PM
By: bigred6933

Content:

Subject: The old poodle



A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her faithful aged poodle named Cuddles, along for the company. One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, Cuddles discovers that she's lost. Wandering about, she notices a leopard heading rapidly in her direction with the intention of having lunch.



The old poodle thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!" Noticing some bones on the ground close by, she immediately settles down to chew on the bones with her back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the old poodle exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard!

I wonder if there are any more around here?" Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. "Whew!", says the leopard, "That was close!

That old poodle nearly had me!"



Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the old poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.



The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!" Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his Back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?", but instead of running, the dog sits down with her back to her attackers, pretending she hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old poodle says:

"Where's that damn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!"



Moral of this story.. ~~ Don't mess with old farts...age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill!


lost post

Posted on: September 30 2005 @ 11:08 AM
By: Hazmat

Content:

I just wanna see it hit 2000 POSTS!


lost post

Posted on: September 30 2005 @ 11:12 AM
By: bigboyd

Content:

well, I will do what I can


lost post

Posted on: September 30 2005 @ 11:20 AM
By: Chambdog

Content:

TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?

DONALD: H I J K L M N O..

TEACHER: What are you talking about?

DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.


lost post

Posted on: September 30 2005 @ 11:38 AM
By: kenhump

Content:

A married couple was sitting in a fine restaurant, the wife kept looking over at a nearby table where a man sat in a drunken stupor.



The husband asks, "I've you notice you're been watching that man for some time now. Do you know him?"



"Yes" she replies, "he's my ex-husband, and has been drinking like that since I left him seven years ago."



"That's unbelievable!" the husband replies, "you wouldn't think anybody could celebrate that long."


lost post

Posted on: September 30 2005 @ 11:58 AM
By: Bigbear88

Content:

HAA HA Ha ha ha Eek!


lost post

Posted on: September 30 2005 @ 01:58 PM
By: spencer52356

Content:

Try this one on all your freinds;



Tell them you got pulled over on the way to work this morning. When they ask what for, you tell them you were driving down the road and a pheasant flew out, bounced off your windsheild and ended up stuck between the lights on top of a state trooper that was following you. When they ask you why he pulled you over you say"for flipping him the bird".


lost post

Posted on: September 30 2005 @ 02:03 PM
By: spencer52356

Content:

A guy walks into the bar and tells the bartender " You give me 5 beers and I will walk up on stage and fart Dixie" The bartender thinks this could be interesting so he gives the guy his 5 beers. The guy finishes his 5 beers walks over to the stage, pulls down his pants and craps all over the stage. The Bartender ask's what the ____ do think your doing? The guy says well even Bing Crosby has to clear his throat before he sings.


lost post

Posted on: October 03 2005 @ 03:30 PM
By: Ray R

Content:

Joe goes into a bar and orders a drink. He looks down the bar and sees a man with a 12 incch square box on the bar and there's classical music coming from it. He asks the man what do have there a radio? The man says no and opens the lid to the box. When Joe looks in he sees a tiny man playing classical music on a tiny tlittle piano. Joe says that's amazing! Where did you get him. The owner of the box proceeds to tell Joe about finding a magic lamp down at the beach and a genie granting him one wish. The man says the lamp is still down at the beach and tells him where to find it. Joe runs down to the beach and finds that lamp exactly where the guy said it would be. Joe rubbed the lamp and after a second a genie appears in front of him. The genie tells Joe that he will grant him one wish. Joe thinks for a while and then tells the genie that he wants five million bucks delivered to him immediately right there at the beach. The genie says your wish is my command and disappears again inside the lamp. All of a sudden mallards and teal, wood ducks and canvas backs start flying onto the bearch. This continues until the beach is covered with ducks as far as you can see. Joe walks back to the bar disgusted and sees the man with the box still nursing a drink. Joe walks up to the man and says hey what's up with that genie? The man turns to joe and says " Hey you didn't think I asked for a 12 inch pianist did yah" Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: October 04 2005 @ 09:16 AM
By: janning

Content:

This is my first post to the lost post, but I am more than happy to contribute and increase my post numbers. Keep it going guys!


lost post

Posted on: October 04 2005 @ 09:25 AM
By: Tony

Content:

Sorry, got lost...wrong thread Wink



Can't believe this thing won't die.


lost post

Posted on: October 04 2005 @ 09:27 AM
By: goody

Content:

oops



posted in wrong place



goody


lost post

Posted on: October 04 2005 @ 09:48 AM
By: pheasent29

Content:

I'm not lost. I've been dying to post on this thread.Keep it going. Razz


lost post

Posted on: October 04 2005 @ 10:13 AM
By: iowafarm_girl

Content:

I refuse to be part of this nonsense and post on this thread. Rolling Eyes


lost post

Posted on: October 04 2005 @ 10:17 AM
By: goody

Content:

yeah, ME TOO!.....................oops!



goody Cool


lost post

Posted on: October 04 2005 @ 10:47 AM
By: kenhump

Content:

I'm confused, I thought the 'OOPS' forum was in the Premiere forums section. Rolling Eyes Rolling Eyes Rolling Eyes


lost post

Posted on: October 04 2005 @ 10:50 AM
By: goody

Content:

oops



goody


lost post

Posted on: October 04 2005 @ 11:00 AM
By: kenhump

Content:

We're probably going to pass the hat and get the, 'Lost Post' it's own server. Laughing Out Loud

I want a LOST POST teeshirt. Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: October 04 2005 @ 11:19 AM
By: janning

Content:

OOOPS!



I'll take a t-shirt!!


lost post

Posted on: October 04 2005 @ 05:55 PM
By: iowafarm_girl

Content:

After further consideration I have decided that I will only post on this thread IF I get a t-shirt and IF Goody posts on here also.


lost post

Posted on: October 05 2005 @ 12:10 PM
By: Ray R

Content:

I did a quick google search for the world's longest internet thread but did not find anything. Does anyone know how long the longest internet thread like this might be?


lost post

Posted on: October 05 2005 @ 01:46 PM
By: horst

Content:

I accidently clicked on this monster.I read every tenth page and it still took me a 1/2 hour to get through it.Im not sure what that means . Question Question Question


lost post

Posted on: October 18 2005 @ 10:25 AM
By: kenhump

Content:

Ray, you don't know how long it is until you can find both ends. So, at this point, THE LOST POST, is only continuous. Mr. Green

The sound of one hand clapping. Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: October 18 2005 @ 11:09 AM
By: lunker

Content:

Come early and sign up for door prizes, receive free classroom materials, and register for a $500 gift card drawing. Educator's week runs from October 15 through the 23. During this week, your Educator's Discount on classroom materials will be 25 percent. On Educator's Night, you may use the 25 percent discount on personal books, magazines and gift items, as well as on classroom materials. See you the 19th!


lost post

Posted on: October 18 2005 @ 11:22 AM
By: quailslayer

Content:

Somethings may never be found Rolling Eyes


lost post

Posted on: October 18 2005 @ 11:28 AM
By: kenhump

Content:

If you do not know what something is, will you recognize it if you see it? Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: October 18 2005 @ 12:49 PM
By: bigred6933

Content:

It's alive!!!!!!! Mr. Green

Mark


lost post

Posted on: October 18 2005 @ 01:50 PM
By: Hazmat

Content:

Yeah, it's only a matter of time til this thing hits 2000 posts!!!


lost post

Posted on: October 18 2005 @ 01:56 PM
By: 375hnh

Content:

I don't get it...


lost post

Posted on: October 18 2005 @ 01:56 PM
By: lunker

Content:

This email and any files transmitted with it may contain confidential or privileged information and is intended solely for the use of the individual or entity to whom it is addressed. Any unauthorized review, use, disclosure or distribution is prohibited. If you have received this email in error please delete it from your system.


lost post

Posted on: October 18 2005 @ 01:57 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

Events

There are no upcoming events



Appears the future has been cancelled due to lack of interest. Eek!


lost post

Posted on: October 18 2005 @ 02:08 PM
By: iowafarm_girl

Content:

Isn't that post off topic Ken?


lost post

Posted on: October 18 2005 @ 02:16 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

And the topic of The Lost Post is????



First the Lost Post disappears now there are no future events. Chicken Little may be right. Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: October 18 2005 @ 02:38 PM
By: zondy

Content:

"Meaningless! Meaningless!" says the Teacher. "Everything is meaningless!"

Eccl. 12:8


lost post

Posted on: October 18 2005 @ 03:20 PM
By: lunker

Content:

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious



According to the Recruitment Code of the U.S. Navy, anyone "bearing an obscene and indecent" tattoo will be rejected.





The average American uses 12.4 gallons of water to take a shower which lasts, on the average, 10.4 minutes at an average temperature of 105 degrees.








lost post

Posted on: October 18 2005 @ 11:45 PM
By: shroomer

Content:

There was a couple who was about to get married.

Before the wedding, they had a tragic accident and both died.



As they were standing at the gates of heaven talking to

St. Peter they explained their plight and asked could they get

married in heaven.



St. Peter said, "Wait here," and left.



He was gone for several months then finally returned.



The couple said,


lost post

Posted on: October 31 2005 @ 09:15 AM
By: kenhump

Content:



Traditional Capitalism

> >

> > You have two cows.

> > You sell one and buy a bull.

> > Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.

> > You sell them and retire on the income

> >

> > Enron Venture Capitalism

> >

> > You have two cows. You sell three of them to >> your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened

> > by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity

swap with

> an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with

a

> tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are

> transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly

owned

> by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows

back to

> your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight

cows,

> with an option on one more. The public buys your bull.

> >

> > AN AMERICAN CORPORATION

> >

> > You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce

the milk

> of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

> >

> > A FRENCH CORPORATION

> >

> > You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three

cows.

> >

> > A JAPANESE CORPORATION

> >

> > You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the

size of

> an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create

clever

> cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them

World-Wide.

> >

> > A GERMAN CORPORATION

> >

> > You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100

years, eat

> once a month, and milk themselves.

>

> >

> > A BRITISH CORPORATION

> >

> > You have two cows. Both are mad.

> >

> >

> > AN ITALIAN CORPORATION You have two cows, but you

don't

know where they

> are.

> > You break for lunch.

> >

> >

> > A RUSSIAN CORPORATION

> >

> > You have two cows. You count them and learn you

> > have five cows. You count them again and learn you

> > have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you

> > have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open

> > another bottle of vodka.

> >

> > A SWISS CORPORATION

> >

> > You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge

others for storing them.

> >

> > A HINDU CORPORATION

> >

> > You have two cows. You worship them.

> >

> > A CHINESE CORPORATION

> >

> > You have two cows. You have 300 people milking

> > them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and

arrest

> the newsman who reported the numbers.

> >

> > AN ARKANSAS CORPORATION

> > You have two cows. That one on the left is kinda cute...


lost post

Posted on: October 31 2005 @ 09:21 AM
By: goody

Content:

deathtothelostpost

deathtothelostpost



mayitdieamiserableandlonelydeathatthebottomofawell



deathtothelostpost

deathtothelostpost


lost post

Posted on: October 31 2005 @ 10:07 AM
By: lunker

Content:



Every time you lick a stamp, you're consuming 1/10 of a calorie.



After spending hours working at a computer display, look at a blank piece of white paper. It will probably appear pink.



Beards are the fastest growing hairs on the human body. If the average man never trimmed his beard, it would grow to nearly 30 feet long in his lifetime.



By age sixty, most people have lost half of their taste buds.



Every human spent about half an hour as a single cell.



Humans shed about 600,000 particles of skin every hour - about 1.5 pounds a year. By 70 years of age, an average person will have lost 105 pounds of skin.


lost post

Posted on: November 02 2005 @ 11:16 PM
By: Driftless

Content:

LLTLP


lost post

Posted on: November 03 2005 @ 07:11 AM
By: djo

Content:

Your body contains more bacterial cells than human cells.



David


lost post

Posted on: November 03 2005 @ 09:02 AM
By: janning

Content:

There are more bacteria cells in your mouth then there are people on the earth.


lost post

Posted on: November 03 2005 @ 07:21 PM
By: kenhump

Content:

>MEDICARE RECOMMENDATIONS

>

>The phone rings and the lady of the house answers, "Hello".

>

>"Mrs. Ward, please."

>

>"Speaking."

>

>"Mrs. Ward, this is Doctor Jones at the Medical Testing Laboratory. When

>your doctor sent your husband's biopsy to the lab yesterday, a biopsy from

>another Mr. Ward arrived as well, and we are now uncertain which one is

>your husband's. Frankly the results are either bad or terrible."

>

>"What do you mean?" Mrs. Ward asks nervously.

>

>"Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer's and the other

>one tested positive for AIDS. We can't tell which is your husband's."

>

>"That's dreadful! Can't you do the test again?" questioned Mrs. Ward.

>

>"Normally we can, but Medicare will only pay for these expensive tests one

>time."

>

>"Well, what am I supposed to do now?"

>

>"The people at Medicare recommend that you drop your husband off somewhere

>in the middle of town. If he finds his way home, don't sleep with him.


lost post

Posted on: November 04 2005 @ 01:14 PM
By: Ray R

Content:

What a waste of a beautiful fall day, being stuck in the office until dark.


lost post

Posted on: November 04 2005 @ 08:49 PM
By: goody

Content:

I just farted



it is stinky



I named him "Dale"



he lingered and is gone now



bye "dale"




lost post

Posted on: November 05 2005 @ 07:36 AM
By: Ezzy333

Content:

It takes me all night to do what i used to do all night


lost post

Posted on: November 05 2005 @ 11:47 AM
By: ejensen

Content:

Won't be long and this post will be at 200 pages! Eek!


lost post

Posted on: November 05 2005 @ 05:28 PM
By: colbyjack

Content:

A monkey is sitting in a tree smoking a joint, when a lizard walks

past,

looks up, and says to the monkey "Hey, what're you doing?"





The monkey replies, "Smokin' a joint, come up and have some."







So the lizard climbs up the tree, sits next to the monkey, and they

smoke a

few joints.







After a while the lizard says his mouth is 'dry' and he's going to the

river

to get a drink.







The lizard climbs down the tree and staggers over to the river to get a

drink of water, but he is so stoned, he leans over too far and falls

into

the river.







A crocodile sees this, swims over to the lizard and helps him to the

side.

Then he asks the lizard, "What's the matter with you?"







The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting up in a tree

with

a

monkey smoking pot, got too stoned and then fell into the river while

taking

a drink.







The crocodile says he has to check this out, and wanders off into the

jungle. He finds the tree where the monkey is sitting finishing up a

joint.









The crocodile yells up to the monkey and says "Hey!"







The monkey looks down and says,







"Fuuuuuuuu$%k........Dude! How much water did you drink?!"



-chris


lost post

Posted on: November 06 2005 @ 04:46 PM
By: Mr.Flathead1

Content:

Where Better To make my 100th post,Seems i`m always lost anyway Eek! Rolling Eyes


lost post

Posted on: November 08 2005 @ 05:33 PM
By: d00buck

Content:

Nice Eric....hope 'Dale' had some good hangtime! Laughing Out Loud


lost post

Posted on: November 08 2005 @ 07:48 PM
By: river

Content:

[QUOTE BY= colbyjack]





The monkey replies, "Smokin' a joint, come up and have some."







The lizard climbs down the tree and staggers over to the river







"Fuuuuuuuu$%k........Dude! How much water did you drink?!"



-chris[/QUOTE]



Family site indeed...



I ain't pickin' on you personnally Colby. I'm just gonna' miss horst...



Still a funny JOKE... ha ha...



River


lost post

Posted on: November 08 2005 @ 09:12 PM
By: Mack

Content:

So I says to the guy, "Hey, guy!"


lost post

Posted on: November 08 2005 @ 09:27 PM
By: colbyjack

Content:

what happened to horst? -chris


lost post

Posted on: November 08 2005 @ 10:20 PM
By: Caseyjoenz

Content:

Horst got the boot for using f*^l lan&^$ge. He pushed it too much, I guess. What's everyone drinkin tonight? A little Crown and water here Cool Cool Cool


lost post

Posted on: November 09 2005 @ 01:11 AM
By: shroomer

Content:

old crow, pepsi and lost post.


lost post

Posted on: November 09 2005 @ 09:32 AM
By: bigred6933

Content:

Alright, I know somebody here did this....





My kinda hot babes here...


lost post

Posted on: November 09 2005 @ 09:37 AM
By: kenhump

Content:

My redneck Christmas deer. Mr. Green Tis the season Laughing Out Loud


lost post

Posted on: November 09 2005 @ 02:42 PM
By: Hazmat

Content:

Man, I don't care if I gotta post the next 180 some myself...I will see this have 2000 posts. But then, my wife says I's kinda wrong... Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: November 09 2005 @ 02:57 PM
By: pistol54pete

Content:

If the ocean were beer & I was a duck....I'd swim to the bottom & drink myself up....*hic* Razz


lost post

Posted on: November 15 2005 @ 02:50 AM
By: crippledcrappie

Content:

So the wife says there better be something in the driveway tomorow that goes from 0-220 in 5 seconds. So the next day the husband brings home a small package and places it in the driveway. The wife comes out and opens the package to find a bathroom scale.. Mr. Green


lost post

Posted on: November 15 2005 @ 06:11 AM
By: Rooster

Content:

Man, it's been way to long since I've checked this thing out. Come on #3000




lost post

Posted on: November 15 2005 @ 08:51 AM
By: Illinoisgiller

Content:

Nonsense for the ornery ICEHEADS out there. Laughing Out Loud When you clean a few bull gills, keep the remains. Put them next to a hole in plain sight next to a hole in a place known to have nothing but stunted gills. Twisted Evil Twisted Evil


lost post

Posted on: November 15 2005 @ 09:44 AM
By: boonie_rat

Content:

So i was sittin' in my treestand the other day wearing swim fins and my sunday best, got the hank parker 6' 6" graphite rod nocked on the bow with a zara spook tied backwards, with the e-caller playin' sanatra when the wife walks in and says "get that crap out of the living room,you're scaring the kids. this happen too anyone else?


lost post

Posted on: November 16 2005 @ 01:30 PM
By: ejensen

Content:

A husband and wife go to a counselor after 15 years of marriage. The

counselor asks them what the problem is. The wife goes into a tirade,

listing every problem they have ever had in the 15 years they've been

married. She goes on and on and on.



Finally, the counselor gets up, goes around the desk, embraces the

woman and kisses her passionately. The woman shuts up and sits quietly

in a daze.



The counselor turns to the husband and says, "That is what your wife

needs at least three times a week. Can you do that?"



The husband thinks for a moment and replies, "Well, I can get her

here Monday and Wednesday; but Friday, I golf."


lost post

Posted on: November 16 2005 @ 01:31 PM
By: ejensen

Content:

Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl "Will you marry me?" The girl said,

"NO!" And the guy lived happily ever after and went fishing, hunting,

played golf a lot, drank beer and farted whenever he wanted.


lost post

Posted on: November 16 2005 @ 02:04 PM
By: lunker

Content:

here is some old crow for ya!!!

old crow</